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Communication Skills - Persuade with words

Mind Favor

Communication Skills - Persuade with words

Mind Favor

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17 Lessons (25m)
    • 1. Introduction

      1:49
    • 2. Because

      2:26
    • 3. Persons name

      1:22
    • 4. New and exciting

      0:32
    • 5. Conjunctive words

      1:48
    • 6. Imagine & Risk Avoidance

      1:25
    • 7. Superlative Adjectives

      1:00
    • 8. Certainty

      1:50
    • 9. You're right

      1:44
    • 10. Urgency Words

      0:39
    • 11. Control Words

      1:04
    • 12. Secrets

      0:52
    • 13. Scarcity

      1:58
    • 14. Pain Avoidance

      0:52
    • 15. Visual Terms

      2:54
    • 16. Alliteration

      1:03
    • 17. Final thoughts

      1:32
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About This Class

Communication Skills - Persuade with words

Communication is a very important part of being an effective leader and building solid relationships. There are several components to communication and in this course, we are focusing exclusively on the words you use. 

We will show you how to use words in an intelligent way to be most effective in your communication with others. You will also gain key insights into human psychology and gain a better understanding of how that is closely interconnected with the human experience. We're very excited you've stopped by and look forward to showing you these secrets words and phrases to improve your communication skills. 

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Mind Favor

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MindFavor is dedicated to teaching you skills that will help you thrive and succeed in the 21st century. Most of the information taught in the current school system is outdated and irrelevant to how daily life really is. Our mission is to empower you with the RIGHT information to help you live your best life. 

 

And if you're looking to get started with 2 FREE months of Skillshare Premium, use this link to take advantage of this offer now: https://www.skillshare.com/r/user/mindfavor

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Transcripts

1. Introduction: What's going on? Everybody, Thank you so much for stopping by to check out my persuasion with ordered scores money, Miss Stephen, with mine favor. And in this course I'm gonna teach you how to be more persuasive with the actual words that you're using. So when it comes to human communication, there's different forms of it, right? So whether it be body language, your tone of voice ordered the words that you actually use. And so this course is dedicated specifically to using words in a way for you to better communicate with others. And also b'more effective in your communications, a little background about myself. Several years ago, I had experience running multiple YouTube channels which involved talking and interacting with strangers. And throughout that several year process, I ended up talking or speaking with over 10,000 different strangers. And so in the beginning, it was kind of rough because I didn't know how to effectively communicate. But like anything, if you put in the time and effort, you're gonna get good at it. And so, throughout that process I made a lot of mistakes. But I also got really good at speaking to people in an effective way and also being able to better persuaded and influence people. The whole goal of this course is to teach you everything that I've personally learned. So that way you don't have to go out and speak with 10,000 strangers on your own right. I'm sort of giving you a short cut to the secrets of stuff that actually works. This course is built for anybody who wants to communicate better in their life, right? So whether he won't have better communication with your partner or family members, or let's say you're going into a job interview or let's say you're in sales and you're trying to better established report with your potential clients. Whatever facet of life, the human experience involves communicating effectively with other people. And so within this course, I'm gonna hone in on the actual words and how you can use those to be most effective. With that being said, I'm very excited. You decide to stop by and let's go ahead and jump right into it. 2. Because: the first word you can use me more effective is the word because back in 1978 at the University of Harvard, a study was conducted by Ellen Langer, where they wanted to test the effectiveness of using the word because and so for the study . You could think of it as they had three different groups set up where people were at a Xerox copy machine waiting to make a copy. The whole goal of this study was to see if people could would let them cut in line. Teoh make a copy. So the first group they cut to the front of the line and said, Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox copy machine? The second group said, Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine? Because I have to make copies? The third group said it. Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine? Because I'm in a rush and the results of this was pretty astounding. So the first group had a 60% compliance rate, the second group that use the word because had a 93% compliance rate and The third group had a 94 compliance rate, right, so the second or third had much higher rates than the 1st 1 in the main difference between them and the first was they used the word because something that's interesting by the second and third is one you may think has a more logical argument. Great. The 3rd 1 Can I cut in line? I'm in a rush versus the 2nd 1 where it's pretty obvious. Right? May use the machine because I have to make copies. Well, yeah, everybody in line has to make copies. That's not a real valid argument, right? But at the end of the day, the validity of the argument didn't really make that big of a difference. It was ultimately just using the word because which helps set that and the second and the 3rd 1 apart. The word, because has become deeply ingrained in us as Children. Remember when you were a kid and you wanted to do something, but your parents told you know, and then you asked why and your parents said because I told you so because I said so That's not a valid argument, but as a kid you still accepted that, and that's kind of where the argument ended. I think it's human nature for us to assume that other people know what we're thinking, or if we're thinking something in our mind. It's obvious to us, but it may not be obvious to other people. Remember, people aren't mind readers, and it's a good practice to explain why you're doing something or explain why you're asking for something, despite how basic and maybe that's gonna help increase the likelihood of people first having an understanding of where you're coming from and that we're gonna appreciate that more and, as shown in the study, also be more likely to comply with whatever you're asking. 3. Persons name : the next thing you can do to be more effective in communicating is use somebody's first name. Imagine you're sitting at a restaurant having a nice dinner, and then all of a sudden, from behind you. You hear somebody say your name. What happens? Do you ignore it or do your ears immediately perked up? And are you intrigued to turn around to see if they're talking to you? Is that somebody that you know who's saying your name right? It's a very natural human reaction to respond to our name. This could be a great jewel toe. Get somebody's attention and make them more likely to listen to what it is that you have to say with this. You do wanna be careful and you don't want overuse it right. If you say somebody's name over and over again, it's going to start to sound weird. So typically keep it once or twice throughout a conversation. Understand, there's diminishing marginal returns when it comes to this, so after the first couple times of using it views it aton more. It's gonna lose its effectiveness, and the last thing is, it could help build relationships, you know. So if you're hanging out with friends or family. Are you calling them by Mr Or Miss So and so, No, you call them by their first name or nicknames that you guys have for each other. So if you're in sales or if you're in some type of a business role, understanding that there's a fine line between being professional and showing somebody that respect, the quicker you can get to that point where you're on that first name basis with somebody, the more that helps in building report with somebody. 4. New and exciting: the next word or variation of words he should use is new. Humans deeply connect with this idea of something new. We see it all the time in our culture, right? Hey, this new movie came out. Let's go see it. This new restaurant opened up. There is a brand new car that came out something that's new really piques the interest of human behavior, whether you're talking or writing with people. These words introducing new announcing improvement revolutionary never seen before. These are all words that are playing on this concept of something being new. 5. Conjunctive words: The next idea we're gonna talk about is the use of conjunctivitis. Words. This is something that that I see people not using correctly all the time. And there's a couple concept within this. So the first thing is one of your talking with people. It's human nature to use filler words, right? Especially if you're thinking of a concept. You don't know exactly what it is that you want to say. Whenever you're thinking of those, it's human nature to use filler words like Ah, um, etcetera. Whenever you're using those filler words, though, by using those filler words that could make you look uncertain, unconfident and not overall as put together. Something you can do is replace your filler words with Aunt. The next word is the use of the word. But whenever you say, but you're negating everything that you said right before that an example of using this incorrectly would be, Hey, it's great spending time with you, but sometimes you're a little too clingy. That's a bad example, because after you say the word, but they're only gonna focus on the fact that you told them their due clingy, they're not gonna keep or listen toe anything you said about it being great, so many time with them, and it also comes off sort of as disingenuous, right? It's kind of like maybe you don't actually think it's great spending time with them. And you're only saying that to sort of soften the blow, if you will, a better example of using the word but would be giving the bad news first and then following it up with good news. So example of that would be now wasn't your best performance, but you'll do better next time. Notice how that ends. The whole message on a positive note. Using it in this way is more likely to make the person feel better the next time you need to give negative feedback to somebody try using, but like we did in the second example, start with the bad news and follow it up with something good, positive and encouraging. 6. Imagine & Risk Avoidance: the next powerful word that you can use is imagine, or some variation of that. This is a really effective word, because whenever you tell someone to imagine, they're forced to open up their mind. And when they're opening their mind, they're gonna be more receptive and open to whatever it is that you say next. Some variations of this might look like think of picture this think about or what if the next idea to cover is words and phrases that are related to risk avoidance. This overlaps into the area of human psychology, a plethora of studies out there showing that by and large, humans are more likely to avoid pain, then go for reward. Right people are risk averse, and if there's a situation where they may feel pain, they were gonna do whatever they take can do to avoid the pain, gets that back and think about it. That actually makes a lot of sense. How else would humans evolve over millions of years, except by avoiding pain? Some words or phrases you can use, which are gonna better connect with somebody on this risk avoidance level would be no loss . Hey, there's zero risk to you money back guaranteed. You'll see that quite a bit in advertising because it's implying that there is no risk to the end consumer. If they don't like it, they're gonna get their money back. So they're not gonna lose out. They're not gonna buy something that they don't like. No downside and all upside. 7. Superlative Adjectives: The next idea we're talking about is the use of superlatives. Adjectives? This is taking a word and bringing it to its most extreme feature. So if we were the group of friends and you're telling a story about this bad driver that you encountered on the way to where you guys were hanging out instead of saying this person was a bad driver, describing them as the absolute worst driver you ever come across is gonna be a more persuasive, effective way to tell your story. Anybody with a sales background is going to know the importance of using these over the top extreme type of adjectives. Oh, you're gonna love this new refrigerator. It's the absolute best on the market. It's top of the line timeshare you're gonna be buying is tremendous. The use of these adjectives can be really powerful. To paint a picture in somebody's mind also takes something that's seemingly ordinary and make it either way better or way worse than it really. ISS 8. Certainty : the next video we're talking about is certainty and certainly is something that all people in life need and create for and certainly, and it's really important because if you think about it, certainty equals comfort. If you're certain about where your income is coming from each month from stable job, you're gonna be comfortable. If you're certain of what your Children are going to school, you're gonna be comfortable. But let's say you lost your job and you don't know how you're going to get the money to pay your bills next month. That uncertainty is gonna create a lot of negative emotions, fear, discomfort and a lot of pain. So having certainty in our lives is absolutely essential. Some example phrases that you could use to convey certainty would be certain. I'm confident. There's no doubt in my mind very sure I'm positive. On the right hand side are some phrases which you should try to avoid because they're all going to convey that you're not certain or lack an overall sense of confidence. And one other thing to think about this toe really hammered. This point. Home is when you're building relationships with other people, what's one of the most important characteristics or traits that you're looking for, especially if you're looking for, say, a spouse or partner, despite the media and cultures attempts to tell us that it's money or looks or status. For most regular people out there, one of the most important traits is confidence. And if somebody is confident, all that means is that there certain in themselves, right there certain in who they are and what they're about in that trade, of being confident is a very attractive trait to your potential spouse or partner. Reinforcing this idea. That certainty is very deep within the human psyche and the better you are with speaking and using words that convey that, certainly the better off you're gonna be. 9. You're right: the next thing you were talking about is the using the words you're right or some variation of that. It's pretty obvious. Every human likes to feel like they're right, and for the most part, everybody thinks the way that they're living their life is the right way to live it. So whenever you have an argument with somebody about a fact, it can cause intention. Using these words could be really great to first de escalate a situation, but also bridge the gap and help you guys come to a better understanding. When using this, you don't want to lie to somebody. You always want to be truthful and upfront, but there's a way to use these words without being dishonest, right? So, for example, sake, let's say your argument. Somebody on a specific point. Let's say you're arguing with your partner about who unloaded the dishwasher last and let's say you 100% know that it was you, but your spouse or partner thinks that they did so the U. S. So you guys are argument about that point, even though you're not gonna tell them that they're right about this specific instance an example of what you could do to defuse the situation would be, you know, something along lines that you make a great point. You do a lot around the house and we should really appreciate you more for what you're doing, right? So you're validating their feeling. You're validating that you're showing an understanding of where they're coming from and you can never go wrong, invalidated somebody's feeling or point of view on a situation. Even though you can disagree on the fundamental fax of the situation. So some other examples you could use along these lines would be, You know, I agree. I can understand. I hear you, you have a point, and I respect. 10. Urgency Words : The next concept we're talking about is the use of urgency words. The lens on viewing this concept through is mostly through marketing or advertising lens. So if you're advertising a product and you want somebody to act using words like now, immediately take action today. Hurry. This offer won't last long. We have a limited time limited quantity. Those types of words will encourage somebody to take action today because what will happen is if somebody thinks they have all the time in the world. It's human nature to put that off and then think, Oh, I'll get to it later on and then they forget about it and never get to it. Using these words, if you're trying to sell of a product or course, could be really effective. 11. Control Words: The next idea we're talking about is the use of control words. Humans want to feel like they're in control, right? You want to feel like you're in control of your finances, you're in control of your family, you're in control of your friendships and relationships. You're in control of your life. And so any of these phrases control in charge, Take charge. Take control. These can all be good phrases to use to speak to this deep human desire of wanting control of a situation. An example of how you could use this would be. Let's say you're selling a diet. Let's say you're selling a new workout program online. Some of the phrase and you could use in there would be. Take control of your health. Get on this diet and you'll be in control of your body again. You know, take control of your body and health, right? Those those types of phrasing and wording this idea that if they purchase your diet or your workout plan, they're gonna have more control of their body and their temptations, which they struggled with before 12. Secrets : The next idea that we're talking about is the use of secrets and secrets is something that's always intrigued. Humans. Why is there so much buzz and mystery around Area 51? It's most likely just a military base, but it's the idea that it's a secret facility. It's the idea that we don't actually know what's there and that that whole concept makes Area 51 a very intriguing, you know, highly talked about place. Some examples that you could use would be, you know, secret. This new miracle drug. I finally discovered the keys. We're gonna give you insiders access. Once you're inside, the course will reveal, you know, we're gonna pull back the curtain. The use of secrets could be a very powerful tool when trying to pique interest and have somebody take action. 13. Scarcity: Now let's talk about scarcity and how you can use this to your advantage. We can use scarcity and at several different ways we could use scarcity of our time of our attention. If you're selling products, limited amount of products that you're selling or a limited quantity, etcetera. Some phrases which you could use would be limited time. Now our program is available only for the next X amount of people. Let's go ahead and think about this from a different perspective. Let's have you this idea of scarcity through the lens of relationships. If somebody in a relationship is described as being meaty or clingy, that has a negative connotation. And really, what are those? Somebody who's knee or clingy? It's simply somebody who doesn't provide any scarcity of their time or energy, right. It's somebody who's always around. They're always available, and they may think that that's what they should be doing right. That's what a good boyfriend or girlfriend should be doing. But it actually has the opposite effect, whereas by being scarce with their time and having limits on when they can and can't hang out, they're actually respected mawr within that relationship right now, Obviously there's there's boundaries to it. You don't want to be too scarce with your time and never be able to hang out. Show affection, etcetera. But on the other side of the spectrum, you don't want to be two available and not have any scarcity of your time, love and attention, because then you're going to come off as needy and, you know, ultimately undesirable. There's different facets of scarcity that you can use in your life. Sometimes it's a good thing to make something limited in time or quantity. 14. Pain Avoidance : The next concept that you could use is use words that help somebody avoid pain. So humans in general, I don't like to experience pain, and we're gonna do whatever we can to take the easy route right. Take the route of least resistance. Some words that speak to this deep human desire are easy. It's not hard. This will be very quick. It's simple. It's straightforward. It's clear, great. Anything that's conveying that by them going and doing this or taking this action, it's not gonna be hard and again. If you take a look at advertising, you're going to see this all the time. This quick new method This is very easy to do. Easy to follow, straightforward. So just keep this in mind that humans will go through great lengths to avoid pain. 15. Visual Terms: This next idea is a very, very powerful concept. And I would really encourage you toe listen up and understand this. So the human mind really thinks in pictures and in visual terms right now, I want you to just take five seconds, close your eyes and think of an airplane. Okay, Now, go ahead and just picture an airplane. There's no limitations. It could be as big or a small as you'd like it to be. But just think of an airplane, okay? Now you can open your eyes. When you were thinking of an airplane, what was in your mind? Was it words? Was it letters or was it a picture? Right. It was most likely a picture. Simple example. Toe show you that humans naturally think in pictures and for you to be most effective when you're communicating with others, try to speak in visual terms or if there's something that's really important and you want to really emphasize and have people really conceptualized speaking in visual terms, it's gonna be your best bet. I'm going to read to different examples. You let me know which of these is easier for you to understand my ongoing financial burdens are creating a substantial hardship in reduction in my quality of life. Example. Two. My dad is choking me and making it hard to breathe every day. The second example is going to be easier for people to understand. My debt is choking me when you read the work and you hear the words choking me, There's something that comes to mind. There's a visual aspect to choking, and it's making it hard to breathe every day, right? We've all probably experienced in our life at some point when it was hard to breathe. But whether you have asthma or whether you were underwater swimming and you had to come up for air, right that idea or that concept of hard to breathe that's something that we can actually visualize. Where's example? One. Although it may sound smarter and you're using a lot bigger of words, people aren't gonna connect without as much. Another way. Example. Two is better is because it says my debt. So when you think of debt that coming, different things, different people. But most people are gonna have some idea in their mind, so debt could mean credit cards. Debt could mean car loans that could mean your mortgage. Compare that to example. One. My ongoing financial burdens. Great. That's a lot more of, Ah, an abstract idea. And it's It's not as easy for the mind to grasp that concept will. What are your ongoing financial burdens? So keep this in mind. This is something that politicians use all the time they speak about. They speak in visual terms. Just understand this idea of speaking in visual terms is it's profoundly used. It's very effective in trying to persuade and influence people. And I would encourage you to just be more mindful of this. And the more you pay attention to this, you're going to see how prevalent this really is. 16. Alliteration: The next concept is a liberation, and this is something that's primarily used in poetry and literature. But you can also use this when you're talking. This can help to whatever you say sound just a little bit better. Great example of this is from Julius Caesar. The popular quote, then a vdv. Gee, you know I came, I saw I conquered. That's an example of a liberation using similar sounding words in, ah, quick succession. Think of somebody in your life who's a naturally charismatic, well liked person and whenever you're around them, pay close attention to the words that they're using. So, for instance, one thing I noticed was never was at the office. There was a certain manager who was extremely charismatic, well liked, really. Nobody had anything bad to say about him. And one thing I noticed was whenever he was talking, he naturally used a liberation quite a bit. And even though it's a really subtle concept, can make whatever you're saying sound that much better 17. Final thoughts: Now that we cover all the concepts, let's go ahead and put this all together and see how this would look in a real life situation. So for the class project, I want you to record a short 32nd video using at least two of the concepts that we talked about within this course. And then what you could do is go ahead and upload it either YouTube or vimeo. And then in the class project, you could just paste the link to your YouTube video. So that way we could all go check it out and see your interpretation of using some of these ideas. But before we wrap it up, I'll give you an example of what this class project could look like. And for this video again, it doesn't have to be high quality. The main idea is that you're putting these concepts into practice, and you were becoming more familiar with them for this example. I'm gonna show you in just a second. I recorded that on the webcam on my laptop. And as I use the different elements that we talked about, I'm gonna actually flashed up on the screen. So that way you can see in real time the different concepts that we used. I know you're a little nervous about taking that language course next week, but I know you're going to do an amazing job. Jessica. Think of how good it's gonna feel when you do. Learn the language and you'll be able to communicate with everybody on your study abroad. Trip. I know you're a little nervous about taking that language course next week, but I know you're going to do an amazing job. Jessica. Think of how good it's gonna feel when you do learn the language and you'll be able to communicate with everybody on your study abroad trip.