Communication Skills Machine: Master Persuasion and Influence for Entrepreneurship, Business, & Life | Patrick Dang | Skillshare

Communication Skills Machine: Master Persuasion and Influence for Entrepreneurship, Business, & Life

Patrick Dang, International Sales Trainer

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20 Lessons (2h 13m)
    • 1. Welcome to Communication Skills Machine

      2:39
    • 2. Everything is Your Fault

      9:16
    • 3. Seeking Truth

      8:42
    • 4. Building Rapport

      7:46
    • 5. Elements of Communication

      8:00
    • 6. Mirroring

      8:02
    • 7. The Human Subconscious

      7:59
    • 8. Setting Expectations

      4:06
    • 9. Breaking Down Setting Expectations

      8:49
    • 10. What Motivates People

      6:59
    • 11. How to Uncover Pain

      8:44
    • 12. Active Listening

      5:11
    • 13. Earning the Right to Ask a Question

      9:15
    • 14. Answering Questions with Questions

      9:29
    • 15. Softening Statements

      3:51
    • 16. Mastering Time

      6:27
    • 17. The Power of Scarcity

      7:01
    • 18. Alternative Options

      9:12
    • 19. Conclusion

      1:29
    • 20. Next Steps

      0:22
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About This Class

WHY DEVELOP YOUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS TO BECOME MORE PERSUASIVE & INFLUENTIAL?  

No matter who you are or what you, we all face a similar challenge…  

What do you need to say in order to get people to say “YES” and how can you make that happen more often?  

As you know, it’s incredibly frustrating when you want to persuade someone to take action: whether it’s to get them to buy a product or service or even getting someone to listen to insightful life advice. Butsometimes we just don’t know the exact words to say or how to say them during these crucial conversations.

And this typically leads to heated argumentsunproductive outcomes and honestly, can be a huge waste of time…all caused by a simple miscommunication.  

THERE HAS TO BE A BETTER WAY, RIGHT?  

Fortunately, I’ve created a PROVEN Communication Skills Methodology that will show you how to develop the communication skills required to become more persuasive and more influential in both your professional and personal life. And it’s called Communication Skills Machine.  

Unlike other courses, Communication Skills Machine is the COMPLETE MASTER COURSE thousands of people have used to master the psychology of persuasion and communication skills to have more influence in their everyday lives.  

As long as you use our proven Communication Skills Machine Methodology (which I’ll show you how to do step by step), you’ll be able to take control of any situation.  

Here are some of the many things I’ll cover for you in this course that trains on how to master persuasion and influence skills:  

  • We will show you the core foundations world class performers and companies use to develop their communication skills to become more persuasive and influential in leadership roles  

  • How to authentically make a great first impression and get anyone to like you within the first 5 seconds of meeting you  

  • The most effective method to pitch your product, service, or idea that will get almost anyone to say “Yes!”  

  • How to take control of any conversation and guide people into seeing things from your perspective  

  • The best way to make people take an action by appealing to their emotions  

  • How you can get more people to say “YES” without being seen as pushy, needy, or aggressive  

  • How to master persuasion psychology principles like Social Proof, Time, & Scarcity to have more influence in your everyday life  

  • How to position yourself as an authority figure and get people to listen to whatever it is you have to say  

  • How to defend yourself from anyone who tries to use manipulative persuasion tactics on you and how to use this to your advantage  

This course will teach you EVERYTHING you need to know to develop your communication skills and to become more persuasive & influential in business and life, whether you’re already familiar with communication skills development or if you’re just getting started.  

I’ve personally tested these bullet proof strategies during my time as one of the TOP sales professionals at Oracle, a Y-Combinator backed startup, as well as in my everyday life.  

I'm confident the Communication Skills Machine Methodology WILL WORK for YOU.  

Now, if you’re ready to take your Communication skills, Influence, and Persuasion skills to the next level, I’ll see you inside!  

-Patrick  

 

Transcripts

1. Welcome to Communication Skills Machine: everybody. Welcome to communication skills, machine complete persuasion and influence masterclass where you're gonna learn how to master the communication skills, take control of crucial conversations and to persuade anyone to take inaction. My name's Patrick Deng and I started my communication in sales journey at Oracle, one of the largest tech giants in the world, and within my first year became recognized as one of the top 1% of sales professionals in North America. After that, I joined one of the fastest growing y Combinator back start ups in Silicon Valley, so into small businesses all the way up to Fortune 500 companies. And along the way, I've trained thousands of people all around the world on how they can have more freedom and control over their lives simply by learning the communication skills to become mawr persuasive. Now, no matter who you are, what you do, we all face a similar challenge. How do you get people to say yes, and how do you make that happen more often? And, as you know, it can be incredibly frustrating to get someone to take an action, whether it's to buy a product or service or simply to listen to an idea, but sometimes we just don't know the exact words to say or how to say them during these crucial conversations. And this typically leads to heated arguments, unproductive outcomes and can be a huge waste of time. And since starting my communications career at Oracle, I read all the books, took all the training and tried all these strategies and tactics myself to create the communication skills machine, a step by step guy that's going to show you how to master the communication skills to become more influential in your every day life and to accomplish is we're going to show you the top strategies and tactics the top performers and companies are using to persuade others to take an action. And next, we're going to show you the communication skills you can use to authentically become more persuasive and make a phenomenal first impression. And finally, you're gonna learn the secrets to persuade others by tapping into their emotions and using these skills heads in almost any situation. By the end of the course, you're in a walk away with the tools and the confidence to persuade anyone to do almost, and this course was designed for anybody who wants to develop their communication skills to become more persuasive and influential in their every day, life. When that you are already familiar with improving your communication skills Or if you're just getting started, I'm confident you're gonna get a lot of value out of this course. So if all this sounds good to you, I'm looking forward to seeing you inside. 2. Everything is Your Fault: everybody, What's going on? Welcome to the section where we're going to talk about all about mindset, and the first lesson that we're going to demonstrate is that everything is your fault. Now, what this section is all about is it's all about how to develop the right mindset so that you could take responsibility for anything that happens in your life rather than blaming others. Because when everything is your fault, everything is also in your control. See, the thing is, most people they make the mistake of reacting based on their emotions. So when something bad happens, a lot of times most people will, like, yell or get angry. Blame others and I get very emotional about it rather than being a little bit more stoic and understanding a situation so they can act accordingly. And because people often make the mistake of reacting based on their emotions, the emotions were actually blind them from the truth and prevents them from actually seeing things as they are. And this makes us as human beings act very irrationally, reverse Lee. What we want to do is we want to learn how to control our emotions so we could see things as they are rather than how we perceive them to be. So what? That said, Let me tell you a little story of what happened when I was in kindergarten and how my teacher reacted based on her emotions rather than thinking logically. So this is me when I was in kindergarten, about five or six years old, and I remember on the first week of school every day at around two o'clock at the end of the day, we would have time for arts and crafts, so we would have about 45 minutes to work on different types of art and crafts project where we would cut things out, glue them together or write some words, draw some pictures, whatever it was that was our arts and crafts time. And so I remember during arts and craft, there was this acorn project that I saw, and it looked very interesting. So that was the project I decided to do. And again, I'm only five years old at this point, and it's like my first time using scissors and glue and all of those things. So, essentially as you can see, there are three different pieces of paper There's a corn with the top of the acorn, the head of the acorn, the bottom and then the face of acorn. And so what we're supposed to do as kindergartners was cut out all the different sections as you can see what the white outline and then glued them together to create this acorn face. And so I thought that was cool. And this is the one I decided to do. I got the scissors, I got the glue and I cut out the different acorn pieces. But I cut out the yellow part. I cut out perfectly the eyes and the mouth. I cut out perfectly before some reason at the time, the top part of the acorn, which is the brown part. Instead of cutting on the line as you can see, the white area I cut around the line, which kind of made it look a little off. And so for the project just was the cut on the line to make it perfect. But I cut around it, you know, in hindsight, I don't really know what I was thinking when happened, but that's exactly what I did. I glued it together, and then I showed my teacher and my T shirt looked at me and she had a face where it seemed like something was wrong and she said, Hey, you did this wrong So go ahead and put it in the basket and then tomorrow we'll go ahead and get you all fixed up And I was like, OK, cool tomorrow, get to finish it. So the next day, what happened was I got the acorn again. And during those 45 minutes of arts and crafts time, I honestly didn't know what I was supposed to do. I don't remember what my teacher told me at the time, but I didn't get the message that I was supposed to come on the line. So I just cut a couple brown pieces off. But then, for the most part, it was exactly the same. And then I showed my teacher and I said, Hey, I'm done and my teacher looked at me and she had this angry face on her. It wasn't just like this. The face of oh, you know, that's wrong. It was like she was actually mad at me for not doing this project right and again, I'm only five years old and she's, you know, more than 50 years old here, and she's getting mad at me because I can't cut up this acorn correctly. And so she says some, I don't know, she whatever she said, it was really mean. I don't exactly the words, but she was like, You know, you have to come on the line, you have to do this, you have to do that. It really affected me and made me feel bad and made me feel stupid, actually, and so I put the corn in the basket and then and then she said, Okay, just put in the basket and then you do this tomorrow. So after that, the next day I got the acorn again. I did the exact same thing where I didn't even know what to do. I wasn't cutting on the line and pretty much the accord with the same eye glued back together. I showed my teacher and this time she was furious because it is the third time I did it wrong and again, I'm only five years old, so I don't really know what's going on here, and so she starts getting mad at me, she starts saying like Why can't you get this right? Why can't you be like this? Others student like Tommy, who gets it all right? Like why you? She didn't say she didn't say it directly. I was dumb or stupid. But she was implying that with her atonality and some of the words that she said, and she really made me feel bad, especially as a five year old and looking back in hindsight, it was kind of ridiculous that someone who is of the age of a teacher would be so angry at a five year old for not being able to cut on the line or knowing that, because instead of blaming herself as a teacher or maybe not the being not the best educator and seeing it as opportunity for improvement and say what she did was she got mad at me, blamed me for being dumb and compared me to the other students and try to tell me I was diamond. It was just not the best learning environment, to be honest, and it's kind of ridiculous for someone who is more than 50 years old to be saying this to a five year old because educator. It's your role to teach, not to criticize and get mad and compare five year old to other five year olds. That's just not a good learning environment. Instead, what my teacher could have said, it simply was, Hey, doesn't seem, finish it. What do you think you need to do next? That's just a question to get me thinking about whom? What do I need to do next? And maybe I could solve the problem of my own. So another thing that she could have said is, Hey, maybe we should get you some help. How about we ask someone who has done this before? And so she could have just asked any other of the five year olds there toe, show me how to do it, or maybe to do it for me and do half of their that I would do the other half so I would understand what's going on. But it said no. She did not do these techniques to get me thinking or to get me help. She just criticised me and got mad at me. Another thing she cannot thought to herself was, What can I do better as a teacher to help him. I don't hold anything against this teacher, you know, the past, the past. But I'm just using this as a learning lesson where they could have done so many different things better to help me become a better student. But instead they just plain being tried to shoot down my confidence when they should have just been taking responsibility as that teacher and as the authority in the classroom again , Too many people jump at the chance to tell you your wrong. And if a teacher who's more than 50 years old has all this life experience would jump at the chance to tell a five year old that they're wrong. Just think about in the world where your friend toes, you're wrong. Your significant other totally whatever ideas you have this stupid or whatever the case is , there's so many people out there they will jump at the chance to make you wrong, because if they blame you, they're gonna feel better about themselves and a lot of people who are not very conscious and how they lived there. They today they do this. They rule literally blame other people, put them down tryto make them stay down so that they could feel more superior about themselves when reality that's literally not helping anybody except their own ego. And the ego is just a figment of their imagination and doesn't really do anything for the rest of the world. So instead of being like all these other people who don't think consciously are not mindful and don't have that empathy towards other people, we're gonna do something completely opposite. And that is where the new mindset to explore is that everything is your fault. No matter if it's someone else's fault, take the responsibility. If it's yours, fault. Admit that you're wrong and take that responsibility. Because once you start taking responsibility for everything around you, whether it's in your control or not, you're in control. By learning to take that four responsibility and breaking the habit of blaming others and making excuses, everything is going to be in your control. And so what I mean by this is that there's gonna be a lot of pressure is when you take full responsibility for everything. For example, like my teacher, she had opportunity to take responsibility for me, not learning correctly, and she could say, Hey, when am I doing wrong? Is the teacher so I could help this guy become a better student by putting the responsibility on yourself? What you're able to do is that you're able to take control of any type of situation, because when everything is your fault, everything is also in your control. And so when it comes to being more persuasive, having that influence skill set and improving your communication skills to make people do whatever it is that you want to do, it's not about being manipulative or using all these high pressure tactics. Instead, if you just reverse it and take responsibility over any type of situation, you suddenly become the authority in that environment. And you also have control in any situation, whether it's business, whether your English teacher, whether it's relationship, literally, anything in your life. If you want to take control, you have to take that responsibility. And so with that story, I just want to share with you of how my teacher could up taking responsibility and becoming a better educator. But if you want to take it to a business example, for example, if I am a sales person and I lose a deal, and I say, Oh, it's not my fault cause a customer stupid. They don't know what they're talking about, then years not gonna progress as a human being. But if you reverse the situation, take full responsibility for that sales deal. You could say, Hey, that person didn't buy for me because I didn't do the best job I could as a sales person and explaining why they should buy my product or service. And so when you have that mindset, you can improve your communication message so that people will eventually by so whatever it is in life that you're trying to improve using a communication skill set. No, that having the mindset of taking responsibility for everything will give you that total control to become more persuasive and influential in your everyday life. 3. Seeking Truth: everybody. What's going on? So welcome to the section where we're gonna talk about seeking truth and why this section is going to be particulate early. Important for you to develop your communication skill set is because we're going to show you exactly how to see things as they are rather than how you perceive them to be. Now the start things off. I want to say that most people enter conflicts with the mindset of fighting to be right, whether that's a business conflict or when you're dealing with personal relationships. Ah, lot of times people will go into that conversation with the minds of thinking. I want to beat this person. I want to show them that I'm right and they're wrong now. This is exactly what you do not want to do because it leads to a lot more conflict and can create more friction and can lead you to become less persuasive and influential. Usually in these situations, most people again, their goal is not to get through the truth. There go is to walk out of the conversation feeling like Dave one, and that is going to be a huge exploitation that you can take advantage of because people always want to feel like they've won. What you need to do is flip the situation, and rather than trying to fight against somebody, make it so that people can walk away from any type of conversation feeling back they want. So that's just another way to say, creating a win win situation where everybody feels good at the end of the conversation. Now let me give you an example when I experience some of this communication conflict where people were fighting to be right while I was working at a startup in sales. So back when I was working in Silicon Valley, my world was to be an account executive, which is essentially to talk to potential customers and close deals and earn money for the company. Now there was this other person, and let's go ahead and just call him Tom and he was a sales development rep. Essentially, the entirety of his job was to get people like me account executives meetings with potential customers so that the account executives like myself can talk to them over the phone or in person at them, closed the deal. So I remember Tom came to me and he said, Hey, Patrick, I got a meeting for you with a cable company and I said, OK, cool, let's do this And this is when I was literally just starting. It was my first month on the job and I was like Cool, let's do this. Can you give me more information on the company? So I can better sell this person and Tom comes back? He says, Ah, you know, I don't really have much about this cable company. Just go in and, you know, do a presentation or whatever and do your thing. And so I'm just thinking, like, uh OK, this is strange because normally when I was working at the other, another company, before we would have to learn about all their problems before we pitched them any products or services. But in this example, Thomas literally giving me zero information about this company. And so what I do is I try to make the most of the situation and I go back to my desk and I prepare an entire presentation for this cable company, and I was to do this presentation over the phone and sharing my screen over my computer and it's similar to a power point sales presentation. So me and Tom, we go into the meeting room, our laptops are connected and we're talking to this cable company, and I'm pitching them on our products and services and stuff. And so I'm going in. I'm just trying be as enthusiastic as possible, and ironically, the meeting goes horribly wrong. And the cable company just I didn't know anything about this company, and I'm pitching my products and they're just like, Honestly, Patrick, I don't get it. You guys suck. You guys don't understand us. And basically it's his really bad conversation, really bad meeting with this other company. And obviously we're not going to get the sale. And so we walk out of that room and Tom, you know, everyone's around us. They're watching. They're like, Oh, you know, how was the meeting? And Tom just automatically starts blaming people and getting mad. He's like Patrick sake. You're trying to pitch our product. He was not a good he's not doing a good job and blah blah, blah, blah. It's all your fault, all your fault, all your fault. And I'm just like, OK, really like it? I mean sales is a team game and this guy just completely blaming me. My manager is also watching this conversation as observer. He just jumps in randomly and he's like Patrick, you know what? You also mess up that other call the other week and illiterate. I'm This is my first month on the job. I'm just going with the flow. And even though I have my own process of how I did at my last company, I am literally just going with what they're saying and it's not really working. Whatever they're telling me, it's not working. And suddenly there's Tom guys blaming me. My managers like calling me out for something that's totally irrelevant to the situation in the present time. And so I'm just there like, Dude, what am I supposed to do? Like everyone, ever. It feels like everybody's attacking me rather than creating environment of learning from your mistakes and growing there, just like putting the blame on me and expecting me to do everything about it. And so I notices and I just like Hey, look, guys, there's a lot of things that we both could have done to make the call better. I'm not saying it's anyone's fault, but it's important to recognize what actually happened and what we can do to make the situation better for next time, Right? For example, Tom could have collected more information about the company and told me that information and the call could have been better right or during the call I could have instead of trying to pitch my product. I assume that Tom is completely not going to do any work in getting more information, and I could get the information right on that call before I pitch any products or services . So again, anybody could have done a better job. But I want to frame it where it was. Nobody's fault, but everybody could have taken responsibility. Is the angle I was coming from? I was not trying to be right. I was not trying to tell people they were wrong. I was just stating what I believe to be true with the best information that I had and making suggestions on how we could make the situation better. However, my manager and Tom, they were just coming in trying to tell me that I was wrong and they were right and whatever they're doing so 100% like fantastic and what Whatever I'm doing is completely wrong, which is not the right attitude you wanna have when it comes to becoming a better sales person and just being a better human being overall. So, barring a lesson from stoicism in communications, it's important to seek truth. So in the example, I was trying to seek the truth and understanding what happened and what went wrong and how we could make it better. But on the other end the coin. Like I said, before Tom and my manager, they were not seeking the truth. They were just coming in to boost their own eagles and to put someone down. Honestly, they're not bad people. They were doing this unconsciously and just really feeding their eagles, because by putting the blame on me, it's not their fault. They can walk away feeling better about themselves. So it's very important to not be like Tom is in this situation, and you want to see things as they are rather than what you perceive them to be. So if you perceive life to be that you're unlucky and everything is someone else's fault, that's exactly what you're going to get, and you're just never going to improve and make your life better. However, if you learn to take that responsibility and say, Hey, you know, this is the truth I could have done something better. Then you're gonna be in a position where you can make your life so much better through trial and error and with experience and to be order to seek the truth. The most important thing is not to blame other people, but instead ask really smart questions and learn how to listen, because by learning how to listen, you're gonna be able to collect so much more information. And once you analyse the information and make a conclusion based off all the best information that you have, then you could move Mawr appropriately rather than acting based on your emotions and something I'll share a few from being from the sales world. The most persuasive people and the best salespeople are not the ones who are the smoothest talkers or who have the loudest voice is the most persuasive people, and the best salespeople that I've ever encountered are usually the best listeners and have the highest level of empathy When you're able to listen to what someone says and have a strong understanding of how they feel, you're going to be able to respond so much more better and what you say, it's going to be so tuned to how that person feels that it uses whatever you say. It's just gonna be so much more persuasive and getting another person to think and do whatever you want them to do. So that's going to be the main lesson here. It's Don't let your emotions pressure you into blaming other people and getting man. Others always drive to seek truth, collect as much information as possible. Listen as much as possible so you can have empathy for the other person by understanding their emotions. And again, people make their decisions based on emotion and justify logically. So if you listen to somebody, you have that empathy and you understand someone emotionally, you're gonna be able to say the right things. Pull the right triggers, move the right levers so that you can be more persuasive in your everyday life. That's what we have to cover when it comes to mind set again. It's all about being a better listener, and understanding others and asking really smart questions. And throughout the remainder of the course, you're going to see this theme constantly. Play out where again. It's not about being the best talker. It's not about being the smoothest talker or the loudest talker or being the most aggressive. It's about being the best listener and making the right moves to become more persuasive. So what? That said, if everything sounds good to you so far, I'm looking forward to seeing you in the next lesson. 4. Building Rapport: everybody. What's going on? Welcome to the section where we're going to talk about how you can build report, and what building report is. It's simply building a human connection with another person. Now, the first step in becoming more persuasive and mawr influential in your every day life. It's to get other people to trust you. And the reason why you want them to trust you is because for the most part, you know, if someone does not trust who you are as a person, they're never going to buy anything from you because they think they're going to get ripped off. They're not gonna believe in your advice, even though it's good for them. So building trust is one of the first steps when it comes to becoming more persuasive, and the best way to get another person to trust you is by building report. Now, the definition of what report is is essentially a close and harmonious relationship in which the people or groups concerned, understand each other's feelings or ideals and communicate well. Now, this is the textbook definition of what report is, and all it's saying is that you're connecting with another human being. You understand each other's emotions, understand each other's ideals, and there's a frictionless flow of communication. But if you want to put it more simply, building report is just getting someone toe like you. Because once you get someone toe like you, they're going to trust you. And once they trust you, it's going to be so much more easier to become more persuasive when you communicate with the other person. And so to break down exactly what building report is essentially, what you're doing is you're making the other person subconsciously think and feel I like this person. I feel comfortable this person gets me when people subconsciously think that in their heads when they're speaking with you, everything that you say every piece of advice or suggestion, it's gonna hold so much more weight. And they're going to really listen to whatever it is that you have to say because you've built that report. Now, most people, they make the mistake of focusing on persuasion tactics, right? I see this a lot where people are so focused on what to say, what to do, and they want to be told what to do when it comes to improving their communication skills. However, the best communicators are the ones that understand from a high level perspective that it's not about thes how to tactics its first understanding that you have to make people feel emotionally connected with you. And you have to get them to trust you. If you don't have that part down, all the tactics are not going toe work. So that's why you have to have the mind set of understanding that you have to build trust by empathizing with another human being and getting them to trust you emotionally before you use any type of persuasion tactics. Now, here are gonna be the common persuasion pitfalls. Like I said before, most people are focused too much on the technical details of what they need to say, and they're also not focus on building a human connection first. And these hype of people, especially people who are just starting out, they think in a logical mindset versus an emotional one. And persuasion is an emotional game, and a lot of times these people who are just starting out they try these different tactics of what to say, and they come off as inauthentic or even fake an example of this is when you go to a car dealership or especially a used car dealership, Sometimes they don't have the best sales representative selling the cars. And so when you go to these places, a lot of times you get this guy who feels very sleazy and uses all these high pressure, how to techniques who try to get you to buy a car that you don't want. And that's exactly what you do not want to do when it comes to becoming persuasive and influential. Because if you give off the feeling that you're not trustworthy and you're only out for yourself, people are not going to listen to you, and they're not going to do business with you or listen to whatever it is you have to say. Instead, you want to sell your persuade emotionally, and to give you an example of that, you want to look at the Eiffel. See, Apple comes out with a new iPhone every single year. What's funny is that every time a new iPhone comes out, there's gonna be a huge line of people waiting outside in front of the store so that they could be the first ones to get their phones on the iPhone, even for regular people. We all want to upgrade our iPhones every single year when our current phone works perfectly fine. The first thing you understand as people make their decisions emotionally and they justify the decisions logically meaning. So it Let's say the new iPhone 10 comes out, People will say, Oh, I have a iPhone seven right now, and the iPhone 10 has two cameras on the bag has higher definition and Bob Oh, Bob la Faster processor. And so, even though the dish wants to buy the iPhone because it just cooler, they'll justify their decision by talking about the tech specs that they literally do not care about. But they just want tohave that new iPhone because they're buying it emotionally, and they're justifying their decisions logically. So this is an example for a product use case, but it goes the same way for it, literally, almost everything in life, whether you're trying to persuade someone to do something to buy a car, to buy your product or service, or to get them to do something that they don't want to do, like quitting smoking or quitting drinking. If you are going to make their decision emotionally, and they're gonna backtrack and justify that decision logically. And so this is very important when it comes to developing your communications skill set. Because if you want to persuade other people and if you want to become more influential in your everyday life, you have to know that you need to appeal to people emotionally. And once you get them emotionally, they're going to justify their decisions logically. And so if you capture their heart, everything else will follow. But if you fall into the mindset of going for the how to tactics and what to say and what you do, it's not going to work in the long term because you're not capturing their hearts emotionally, the hair going to be some general rules when it comes to building reports. So the first step is that you want to feel comfortable with yourself. If you're not comfortable with yourself, other people are not going to be comfortable around you, and they can just subconsciously feel it. The second part is you need to make other people feel comfortable now, the reason why this is important because if both sides you and the other person you're talking to, both feel comfortable. Your ability to persuade dramatically improves because this person is going to be comfortable being around you, and they're going to listen to whatever it is that you have to say now, if any sides, whether it's you or the other side, feels uncomfortable, it's going to be difficult to really convey your message because there's this friction. There's this block of awkwardness that is just blocking whatever it is that you're communicating. So that is why it's important to emotionally you make people feel good when you speak to them. In the last thing I got to say When it comes to building report again, you got to focus on the emotions and the tactics will come naturally. So throughout this entire course, we're going to show you how you can appeal to someone's emotions and make them feel comfortable so that you can use the tactics that we will also teach you later on this course. And so once you get them emotionally, we're gonna also show you how you can use the tactics be how to to get people to do whatever it is. You want them to do but remember is important to understand that emotions come first, and then the tactics, the details will come second. And from there, becoming more persuasive is going to be very simple. So now that you have a high level understanding of what building report is in the next section, we're going to give you a deeper dive into exactly how you can build report instantly with anyone that you meet within the 1st 5 seconds of meeting them. So if that sounds good, I'm looking forward to seeing you in the next lesson. 5. Elements of Communication: everybody, What's going on? So now that you got a better understanding of what building report is, which is just building a human connection with another person in this section, we're going to go over the different elements of communication. And what we're gonna do is we're going to dissect the three elements of communication so that you can make a powerful first impression and get almost anyone toe like you within the first five seconds of meeting them. One thing I want to remind you is that the common pitfall most people have when it comes to developing their communication skills is that most people make the mistake of focusing on persuasion tactics and want to be fed lines or what to say. In reality, it's not about what you say. It's how you say it. Let me go ahead and further explain what I mean. So there was a study done at U. C. L. A. Where they were trying to figure out what were the main variables that people use when it came to whether or not they like someone within the 1st 5 seconds of meeting them and from their studies. What they found is that 55% of whether or not someone will like you on the first impression is based on your body language. 38% of that is based on your tonality, and finally, 7% of it is words based on their studies. That's essentially saying that 93% of whether or not someone will like you within the 1st 5 seconds is not determined by what you say, but just how you look and how you sound. The words that you actually say are the least significant when it comes to getting others to like you and again, the reason for why we want to get others to like you is because if they like you, they trust you. And if they trust you, it's gonna be a much more easier to become more persuasive in that conversation again. It's not about what you say. It's how you say it. So to give you an example of this, I remember back when I used to work in the corporate world, I did this little experiment in the elevator. So example number one. Essentially, what I would do is I want to put this to the test and my body language did I would have poor body language is an example. One hunchback. I'm not smiling and I look like I want to go home and I'm tired from work and I'm purposely doing it. Tonality. I'm gonna come in with a lot of low energy, tired, and I'm gonna give off that tone of I just hate my life and I just want to go home. And I hate this place. And the words I'm going to say is, Hey, how's it going? So how that would sound with that body language is tonality. So you just got a picture in your head, Hunchback. I'm not smiling. I look like I want to go home. I'm tired and I say something like this. Hey, how's it going? So if I say it like that, what typically happened was whoever was in the elevator of with me their response. And I would just do this with random people. Whoever's in the elevator, they would say it's going alright and they would just try to end the conversation right there. And they obviously do not want to be part of my negative energy and my negative vibe. So in this example, you could see that my body language was not good. My tonality was not good. I said, Hey, how's it going? And people were not receptive to it because the experiment was if I had bad body language and tonality, people would not be receptive. And I found that to be true pretty much all the time. Now an example. Number two. I flipped the script and itself having poor body language. I didn't experiment where I had the best body language possible, so I had good posture. I was smiling, and when I spoke, I looked directly into the other person's eyes. My tonality was good energy, very excited about life, just positive overall and just gave up that positive tone and the words I said literally the exact same thing that I said an example Number one, which was, Hey, how's it going? But except this time, I have I have good posture. I'm smiling. I'm looking directly in the person's I, and my tonality of my is really good. It has a lot of energy, and I sound excited to be a life. So when I look at someone eye and I say, Hey, how's it going. The response I typically got was It's going great. And though ask me any fun plans over the weekend and they try to match my energy and they want to continue the conversation. And so I'm literally saying the exact same words, except I changed my body language and tone ality to be as positive as possible. And that led to a result where other people will match my energy, and they were also positive to me. So as you can see here, like we just said before in the elements of communication, 55% of your body language 38 tonality, 7% is the words. And I just showed you that by switching my body language of tonality, I can get a completely different response with random people I talked to in the elevator, even though my words were the exact same thing, which was, Hey, how's it going? And so that's just a really life example of why it's not about what you say, but how you say it in this part. I'm going to show you some examples of some poor and goodbye language, so poor body language again, it's slouching, shifting your eyes looking suspicious and looking down as you speak. Not being confident in yourself. You give off that energy, people aren't gonna want to work with you now. Examples of good vying languages sitting up straight, your shoulders are back and you just look overall confident. And people that energy is going to rub often other people when they see it. And that's just going to help you become so much more persuasive because you arm or oven authority figure physically. Now the elements of atonality are broken down into three different elements and make this basic for you guys. It's going to be pitch pace and volume pitch is going to be how low you're speaking or how you're speaking. And of course, you want to make sure that your pitch is not too low or not too high. You want to make it something that people are used to make them feel more comfortable Now the pace is gonna be how slow your speaking or how fast you're speaking. So obviously, if you speak too fast, it's gonna be very difficult for people to understand what you're saying. If you're speaking to slowly, people may be very impatient and that may cause problems as well. So you want to make sure your pace is that the right pace that other people can clearly understand what you're trying to say? Now the volume is gonna be house off your speaking or how loud your speaking. So obviously, the volume ranges from soft, medium and loud, and you just want to make sure that you're not too soft. You're not to allow you want to hit that sweet spot. And so, by adjusting your pitch based on the other person, you're gonna be able to communicate so much more effectively, and especially if these things are tuned in and dialed for that specific individual. Now, the words that you actually use again it's going to be 7% of whether or not someone likes you. But then, as you move further in a conversation, they're gonna matter a lot more once when you that person like you, you gotta actually say something of value. So it's all about choosing the correct words you say and how you're saying it. So, for example, if you use the word problem when the sales example and I say looks like you have a problem it might give off the impression that something is wrong. If you switch that with the different vocabulary like challenge and you say, Hey, it looks like you have a challenge that's just switches the framework where it sounds like you have a challenge that you want to overcome and versus problem using problems Sounds like there's a problem and there's a negative connotation to it. So the word you actually say do matter in the long term, but they're not going to matter so much in the 1st 5 seconds. However, just know that you have to be very mindful with using the correct words in the conversation . We show you exactly how to do this and the rest of the course, but you want to make sure your mindful with this as you move forward. So again the elements of communication that are used to determine whether or not someone will like you. In the 1st 5 seconds, 55% of it is going to be body language, 38% as tone ality and 7% is the words that you actually say. So you just want to be extremely mindful with how you physically look And yes, it does matter how you physically look and how you carry yourself, because people will make a quick decision about who you are and whether or not they can trust you based on your physical appearance. You. That may not be the correct thing to do the politically correct thing to do. But that is how humans have evolved to filter out data and process things in their head. So you have to be mindful of it. You're tonality, and making sure yours tonality is tailored for a specific individual is also very important . And finally, the words are going to be important, but not as important. However, in the long term, the words that you use will make a difference in how people perceive you. So with that said, those air going to be the three different elements of communication that you can use to become more persuasive whenever you're communicating with others. 6. Mirroring: everybody. What's going on? Welcome to the section where we're gonna talk about mirroring and mirroring is going to be one of the most powerful tactics that you can use on a daily basis to build report with anybody that you meet. Now the first thing I want to start out with you guys is that people are wired to feel more comfortable around people just like them. Like I said before, the key to persuasion is making the other person feel comfortable and create that environment where they feel like they could just tell you anything. And how you want to do this is you want to position yourself so that that person thinks that you are just like them and to give you an example of what I mean, Let's say we're observing a room with three business guys who are talking about business and they're working on a business deal to generate more money and you come in right and you may be a potential business partner and you come in wearing a clown costume while everybody else dresses in business suits and you just say, Hey, guys, let's talk business now, even though whatever it is that You have to say maybe gold. It may make the millions of dollars. When you come in with that clown suit, they're just not going to take you seriously. And whatever you say, it just not gonna have much effect. This is just a really extreme example of a situation where if you don't fit in a certain type of environment than other people are just not going to take you seriously. And now I'm not saying you have to be exactly like everybody else. I'm just saying that if you are completely left field different, as in wearing a clown suit during a business meeting, people aren't just not going to take you seriously on the other side of the coin. Had you Warren a business, you obviously people will say, OK, yeah, he is one of us, and then they're gonna listen to whatever it is that you have to say, and so this is just an extreme example of how we're using a business example in a clown suit. But there's going to be lesser degrees of that in any type of situation, whether you're at a party or you're at a networking event or whatever it is. The signals that you give off that make other people feel comfortable will always apply. So before you can start using your words to persuade other people, you must get people to, like, trust and emotionally connect with you. And one of the fastest ways to do it is to use the strategy called mirroring. People are wired to feel more comfortable around other people, just like themselves. So what you want to do is you want to give off the impression that you are just like them. So here is how we're gonna mirror first you are going to mimic, which means you're parroting or copying another person's body language, their tonality and the words that they actually say. For example, we're gonna copy how they say, you know, if they cross your legs, you're gonna cross Your legs were going also going to mimic how fast they talk and the words that they actually say So subconsciously, what happens is whenever you're meeting someone or whenever you're having conversation with someone, there's subconsciously thinking in their head. Do I like this person? Do I feel comfortable? Is this person similar to me? And this is very true, Because how many times have you had a conversation where? Let's say you just met someone out of the blue. And it just turned out that you guys went to the same high school, the same college, or you like the same sports team. So whatever is, people always gravitate to other people who are similar to themselves. And so what you want to do is you want to create this effect with every person you meet, and you don't have to necessarily have anything in common, like a love for sports or going to the same college. Instead, what you can do is do something that's in your control and that is mimicking or mirroring their body language, the tonality and their words. So to give you an example of how this work, we're gonna take a business situation where I'm gonna be me, Patrick, and I'm gonna be a sales person, and I'm gonna try to sell John something. And so the moment me and John shake hands, what's gonna happen is I'm going to mirror hiss physical balling language by shaking his hand the same way he shakes minds. So if he has a firm handshake I'm going to do a firm handshake as well. If he has a more weaker handshake, I'm gonna ease off in light in my hand shake, because what I want John to subconsciously think is Wow, this guy is just like me because the way he shakes my hand is exactly how I shake other people's hands. Because if you have a very firm and strong handshake while the other person has a weaker handshake, they're going to think automatically in their heads. Wow, this guy is probably really aggressive. Or if you have a really weak handshake and John has a strong handshake, John may think, Wow, this guy, he's very timid and we he's probably not confident himself. So that is why you want to match their bogging on, which not overpower them not under power, but to match it a mirror it now moving further with the example. Let's say I go into John's office and John asked me, Would you like a cup of coffee? Now the amateur sales person would either answer that question. Yes or no, they'll say, Yes, I would love coffee. I am dying. The reason why you do not want to do that is because you don't know whether or not John will have a coffee as well. And so you want to mirror what they're doing. So the smarter thing to do is to ask a question and say, Well, are you having When John and John, if John says yes, you're going to get coffee it John says, No, you're not going to get coffee. And so this is another example of mirroring. You're literally mirroring exactly what he's doing and how he is feeling. So if John sits down and he crosses its legs, what you want to do is you sit down and you want to cross your leg the same way. If he leans in, he's interested. You want to lean in and you want to be interested. And if he's talking at a fast, excited tone, you wanna also talking the fast, excited tone. It's all about mirroring their body language, tonality and their words, because by doing that, you actually don't have to have anything in common with someone. But by mimicking these three elements of communication, you're going to create this feeling that you are just like them, and that's going to make them feel comfortable in their own skin, and it's going to allow them to build a lot more trust with you, and you could be a lot more empathetic with them. And then you're gonna have less friction when it comes to communicating and persuading. Because again, people like to talk to other people who are very similar to themselves. And so by mimicking their body language, tonality and their words, you're gonna be that much closer to getting them to few more comfortable. And so once you build that report, the rial game of persuasion starts because of game of persuasion starts when you get that person toe like you within the 1st 5 seconds. Once you get the 1st 5 seconds, that's going to be the most difficult part. And from there you can use all the different strategies and tactics to persuade someone to do what you want them to do. What's really interesting that I'll share with you with this? Is that back when I was in Silicon Valley, obviously, these strategies and tactics worked for me in California and all over North America, where I was trying to sell different products and services. Now that I have my own consulting and coaching business. I spend my time traveling all around the world, and I can tell you right now that using the strategy of mirroring works all around the world. So even when I'm in Asia, like in Vietnam or Thailand, even that the other person does not speak English. What I can do is mimic and mirror their tonality of their body language. And I can get someone toe like me, even though they're the very limited. When it comes to English and it doesn't even matter what I say. It's all about how I do it and the energy that I give off and that energy, really. It's just defined by body language, tonality and the words when you actually get there, if they speak a little bit of English. So again, this concept is universal and works all around the world with almost any person out there. Whether it's North America, Asia, Africa, Australia, it does not matter where, because almost all human beings are wired in this way, you just have to mirror their body language, tonality at them if you comes to with words. But again, body language and tonality and mirroring those elements will be enough to get someone toe like you in the 1st 5 seconds. So with that said, that's everything that we have to cover in Mary. It's going to be one of the strongest strategies when it comes to persuasion, because once you get the person that, like you and trust you, the game of persuasion starts. 7. The Human Subconscious: everybody, What is going on? So in this section we're gonna talk all about the human subconscious and how you can use it to be a more persuasive in your every day life. Now to start things off. You ever get this feeling where there's some people that you meet in life, they just have that good energy over all. And after you meet them, you catch yourself thinking to yourself, Wow, I like that guy or wow, I like that girl and doesn't necessarily have to be. You have a crush on them, but you just like their energy and their overall positive vibe. And they're going to be a lot of variables that influences our subconscious and makes us think that. But the simplest and most impactful variable is smiling. This is controversial idea that you should have fake, smiling and blah, blah blah. But the reason why I want to bring up this concept of smiling is because it's going to be a trigger that you can use in any type of communication situation where you can use it to actually understand and control another person's emotions. Now I wouldn't say it's being Fig. Instead, I would say it's putting your best foot forward. And so what? That said, let's go ahead and dive into the idea of smiling and even deeper how you can understand another person's emotions. So the first thing I want to start off with you is that smiling is contagious. It is literally proved scientifically proven that if you smile, another person will want to smile as well. And so this is how it works. So if the person on the left side looking at the person on the right side and they both have playing the faces, if the person on the left smiles, what happens is the person on the right will see the other person smiling and what will happen. And this is how human beings are wired. We want to understand what exactly that person is doing, so we will naturally just copy that emotion. Even though we may not want to smile, our brains will do it as a survival mechanism to understand why that person is smiling. And so the person on the right will end up smiling after seeing the person on the left smile, and they will mimic that expression to understand exactly what that means so that they can act appropriately again. Smiling is contagious because human beings are wired to copy other human beings who understand what the other person is doing. And by understanding what they're doing, we can make an appropriate reaction. So because the person is now smiling as a reaction, unconsciously or subconsciously, this will send signals in their brain, and that will make them feel positive emotions, meaning, If you physically smile, that will send signals into your brain telling you that you should be happy. And because of that, even though you were just playing phase and emotionless before by literally physically smiling, that is going to affect your subconscious, which were actually influence your conscious emotions is you can see here by smiling at another person. You can actually make them few a lot more positive, a lot more better about themselves just by changing their physical appearance and which will influence their subconscious, which will influence their actual emotions. So this is where we're going to dive a little deeper and go beyond smiling and dive into the emotional feedback loops. So, like I was saying before your physical reactions in the example, I just gave you smiling will influence going to the other side, your mento emotions. If I smile at you and you start smiling yourself, that physical reaction of smiling is going to make you feel happy in your head. And so the why it's a feedback loop is gonna be so much more powerful is because if you feel happy in your head, that is going to then influence your physical reactions and then you're going to be smiling for Rio. And if you're smiling for real now, it just ups the ante of how happy you are. And that's going to send another signal back to your mental emotions. And your men told me emotions and your brain's going to send more signals back to your physical reactions so you can see this feedback loop. So if you smile at somebody once you can create this feedback loop where they continuously feel more positive than positive about themselves on the other end. If you're frowning and you are giving off negative energy or of negative physical appearances, that other person's going to copy you and they're going a few negative and their heads, it's going to influence their physical body, and then it's just a spiralling loop of negative emotions. So you can use this in a positive way or negative way, and essentially, by planting the seed of how you want someone to feel, you can do it with your physical body language, and that's going to send signals to the other person and you're gonna have it in their head . And then you create this emotional feedback loop and they'll constantly be in a spiral of whatever direction you choose diving, even mawr deeper than just the emotions. Sometimes let's say sometimes when you're laying in bed and lots times me may have problems and we may think about them at night. And so if you think about your problems, you think more about your problems. And so what you think about is what you think about. So if you're thinking about your challenges and problems and whatever happened during the day, that's going to lead you to think about that more, which will lead you to think about that more and more and more, and suddenly you just can't stop thinking about a certain problem that you have, and people can easily fall into these feedback loops of negative emotions, which will prevent them from sleeping all night. However, you could flip the script. And if you think about positive things all the time, every day you're gonna think about MAWR positive things as the day goes on and it's going to be a constant reinforcement of this positive feedback loop. And that's why you see a lot of coaching or life coaching or sales coaching. There's this idea of affirmations where every day you tell yourself that you're you can do anything, everything, all your challenges. You can easily get them done, because when you have these affirmations in your head by thinking about positive things for the rest of the day, you start thinking positive, and then that's going to last for you the entire day. How we're going to take these lessons and apply these to your communication skills is that to persuade someone, you have to understand your emotions and you want to persuade the emotionally and they'll justify their decisions logically. So by planting the seed of how you want someone to feel about you or whatever product or service you're selling or you're an idea, let's say you want make them few a positive connotation to your ideas. Then you plan to see is a positive energy, and then you're going to get them to think more positive and to think more positive, they're going to think even more positive. And so it's this positive feedback cycle. So by planting the seeds of emotions and taking advantage of positive feedback loops that will work for you even though you're not there, you're able to control exactly how somebody feels about a product or service or idea that you pitch to them sometime during that day. So if you want someone to few positive and have positive connotations, whenever they meet with you, you want to smile and have that positive body language and positive tonality. And every time they see you, they're going to have those emotions. And, of course, in the selling example or just a friendship example. If you give off those in communication cues every time that person see you, they're gonna have positive emotions, and that's going to help you become more persuasive. If you can control a person's emotion, you can almost persuade them to do almost anything. So that's why this course is all about understanding people's emotions and just directing it and directing their energy in the place where you position yourself where you can become the most influential as you can be and how to end this section. The thing I want to leave you guys is that people love copying others if they believe it will help improve their lives. So if you are the authority figure that people want to be like, you give off that positive energy and whatever it is that you do, you're bringing value and you're solving other people's problems. You're going to be so much stronger as a communicator and as someone who has a lot of influence and persuasion, because the reason why people want to listen to whatever it is that you have to say is because you are going to be perceived as bringing so much value to their lives. And so what? That said. That's everything that we have to cover when it comes to understanding the human subconscious and appealing to someone's emotions. And remember, people make their decisions emotionally and they justify logically so once you understand that and you have the right mindset to appeal to other people's emotions, The tactics and strategies that we're gonna use moving forward for you to become more persuasive are just going to be so much more effective. 8. Setting Expectations: everybody of what is going on. So in this section we're gonna talk to you about setting expectations. And what setting expectations will do for you is that it's going to give you control over an entire conversation by making sure you set the right expectations in the beginning. So I'm going to start off with a dentist story with you guys. And I remember one time I went to the dentist and I was doing a regular routine cleaning, but my dentist did not say a word as he was operating on my teeth. So the whole time I was there at the dentist just doing a regular cleaning in my head. I was thinking, Is this going to hurt? Is my mouth supposed to feel like this way? Is that a drill? They got this thing that spun around and made a loud noise, and I had no idea what this guy was doing on my teeth, and there's so many things in my mouth. I couldn't talk, and the whole time I was afraid that he was going to do something like break my teeth or maybe remove a cavity, or I don't know what was going on, but and why I was so afraid was because his kite did not say a word when he was operating on my teeth. And so one of the main lessons here is that fear comes from the unknown. Pretty much how human beings work is that we are afraid of what we don't know, because what we don't know may potentially harm us. So what we want to do as effective communicators, is we want to clear up the unknowns ahead of time so that whoever we are dealing with have nothing to be afraid of and feel like they could trust us. Ah, whole lot more. After I went to the dentist who did not tell me exactly what he was doing to my teeth during the regular check up, I never went to that person again. And instead I found a different dentist, and this time distant ist was so much more different because she would actually tell me exactly what she was doing as she was operating on my teeth. So in for example, the tenders would say, Hey, this is going to hurt for a second. But don't worry, it's going to feel a little slimy on your gums, but that's normal. It should only last for 30 seconds. Or don't worry, I'm not going to drone to your teeth. Were just going to do a deep cleaning for your teeth. It shouldn't hurt, but if it does, let me know. So this dentist was so much more better as a communicator because as she was operating on my teeth, she would tell me exactly what she was doing, so that if something her I could tell her right away, or if something was going to be a little bit out of the out of the ordinary, she would let me know ahead of time. And then I would have nothing to worry about again. Fear stems from the unknown, and because this dentist was such a good communicator, she would tell me every unknown ahead of time so that I would have nothing to fear. So how we want to use it in our lives is that we want to set the expectations in any type of communication situation because we're not only making another person's fear go away by setting these expectations, you're also in control of the conversation. Wow, making the other person feel like they are in control. And what I mean by this is this is the concept called perceived control. By letting someone know ahead of time what exactly is going on? They're going to feel very comfortable in the situation, and because they feel comfortable, it's perceived that they are in control of the situation. Now. The more a person feels control in a conversation, the more comfortable they are around you. But in reality, whoever sets the expectations in the beginning of a conversation actually has full control over that conversation. So in every conversation, no matter if it's a business, do you a personal relationship or whatever it is? There's always going to be an opportunity to set that expectations for that conversation at the beginning of the conversation. So you want to make sure that you're the one to set the expectations because you're the one that's going to want. You have control over the situation so that you can be more persuasive in whatever it is that you're trying to do. And now that we understand the basics of why setting expectations is going to be very critical for you to develop their communication skills in the next section. We're going to break down exactly what it means to set expectations. And we're going to give you a business example. We're going to give you some personal examples so you can use us in all areas of your life . So if that sounds good, I'm looking forward to breaking this down for you in the next lesson. 9. Breaking Down Setting Expectations: everybody of what is going on. So in this section we're gonna talk about how you can set expectations, and we're gonna break it down, step by step. So you know exactly how you can use is in your every day life. Now, if your goal is to influence someone to take in action, and you have to understand that you basically want them to say yes or no, but you never want a maybe because when you want to be influential, let's say it's a sales example. You want them to buy something or make a certain decision. And if it's a yes, that's great. But sometimes it's not always a great fit, and they'll tell, you know, and that is totally fine. And because it doesn't make sense to actually move forward with whatever you're trying to push them now, you never want a Maybe because maybes it just that in decision doesn't get anybody anywhere . So that is why you want to either get a yes or no, but you never want to get a maybe so have that in mind when you're trying to persuade someone to do something or become more influential in your everyday life. Now, when it comes to set expectations, this is how we're going to break it down and it's gonna be broken down into five different pieces. And the purpose of this is because I want you to understand, step by, step on exactly how to set expectations and to make sure that you're setting the correct expectations to either get that yes or no, and so you can avoid maybes at all costs. And so the five different elements are time and purpose. Understand the other person's expectations, an agenda, understanding your expectations and the agenda the and what you want to happen at the end of the conversation, which is the conclusion. And finally you want to address any of the main challenges and obstacles. So now that you have an understanding of the five elements of setting expectations written , dive into each one and we're going to give you a specific example so that you understand exactly how you can use this. And because I come from the world of sales and sales ties directly with persuasion, we're going to go ahead and use a sales example, and I'm going to set the expectations for a sales meeting. I'll show you exactly how I did this when I used to work in Silicon Valley. So in the beginning of the meeting, be essentially what you want to do is you want to set the time and the purpose. And the purpose of this is you want to make it clear exactly how long the conversations going toe last and explain why you're even having that conversation in the first place. So the example is I want to talk for a quick 10 minutes to see if it would make sense to work together. Is that okay with you? Right, So I'm giving them how long it would take. And I'm giving them the purpose, which is whether or not it would make sense of work of each other. And then at the end, I asked him a question. Is that okay with you? And they're always going to say Sure, that sounds OK. Then we're going to dive into the other person's agenda and expectations. And what you want to do here is you want to make it clear that you empathize with the other person situation and that you want to address their main points of interest again, although empathy and understanding where the other person is coming from. So an example of this is, of course, you're gonna have some questions for me and how our services might be able to help grow your business. I'll do my best to answer any questions you may have. So again, I'm directly addressing the person's expectations and their agenda, and we're really looking out for them and making sure they get as much value out of the meeting as possible. After that, you want to set your expectations and your agenda and explain clearly what you want to get out of the conversation. So an example of that is, and naturally I'll have some questions for you so I can get a better understanding of how I can best help you and your business again. Now the other person knows exactly what I want from this conversation. Now, after you understand their expectations and they understand your expectations, what you want to do is you want to make it clear what's gonna happen at the end of the conversation. And so an example of that is, and at the end of our meeting, other one of two things will happen if we find it doesn't make sense of work of each other . That's totally fine, and we'll just move on. But if there's a fit, we can spend the end of the conversation working on the next steps to move forward. Does that some good to you? And so what's gonna happen is the person would naturally say, Yeah, that sounds fine. Be right, because you're give me them the easy way out where if it doesn't make sense, that's totally cool. But if it does make sense, we're going to spend the last few minutes discussing what the next steps will be. And finally, when it comes to expectations, you want to make sure you address any of the most common challenges or obstacles that you will face. So an example of this, especially in sales I might say something like Now a lot of people tell me they're interested. But after the first meeting, they stopped replying to my emails. They would start returning my calls, and they just disappear completely from the face of the earth. So if you're not interested in my services, I want you to know that you can tell me No. At any time. Does that sound fair? And they're gonna say, Yeah, that sounds fair. So in this case, I'm giving someone permission to tell me no. And so they don't have to be afraid to just tell me no. During the meeting. By doing this ahead of time, I'll get that yes or no. And I don't have to chase that maybe later on. So when we put it all together, this is how it looks. I want to talk to you for a quick 10 minutes to see if it would make sense. Toe work together is okay with you. They say, OK, then you say, Of course you're gonna have some questions for me and how our services might be able to help you grow your business. And I'll do my best to answer your questions to the best of my ability. And naturally, I'll have some questions for you so I can get a better understanding of how I can best help you. And at the end of the meeting, other one of two things will happen if we find that it doesn't make sense of work of each other. That is totally fine and we'll just both move on. But if there is a fit, we could spend the end of the conversation working on the next steps to move forward. Does that sound good to you? And then they're gonna say, Yeah, that sounds fine. And then you go in with the last step. Now, a lot of people tell me that they're interested. But after the first meeting, they stopped replying to my emails and they disappear from the face of the earth. So if you're not interested in my services, I want you to know that you can tell me no at any time. Does that sound fair to you? And they're going to say Sure. And so from there you can go ahead and go into that meeting. You set the expectations of how long the meeting will take, why you're having the conversation addressing both people's agendas, and you're making it clear what's gonna happen at the end of the meeting. Either it's a yes or no, but never a maybe, and you address the main obstacle, which is people not replying and being afraid to say no. By doing that, you just set the complete expectations. So you know exactly what to expect during this meeting. So that's just an example of what you can do if you're a sales person or if you're trying to make a sale or persuade someone to do something by setting the expectation you are in control of the entire conversation. So let's go ahead and go into another example. And let's say you're having a argument with your girlfriend or boyfriend, and you're going to enter a very difficult conversation, and you want to make sure you set the right expectations so that things don't get blown out of proportion. So this is how I would personally do it. Hey, I get the feeling I did something to upset you. Is it okay if we took five minutes to talk about what's going on? I'm not exactly sure what I did to make you feel this way, but I'll do my best to listen to what you have to say. And after you tell me what you did, I'll do what I can to make sure that doesn't happen again and so I can improve as a person . Hopefully, after we get everything off of our chest, I hope we can move forward with this. And I know sometimes when we have these type of conversations, we can get off track and we may bring up other issues that aren't related to the specific situation. So if that happens, if it's OK with you, I'm gonna bring it back to the main issue. Is that okay with you? And then they're going to say yes. So in this example, you could see here I'm using the strategy of setting expectations of having a difficult conversation with your loved ones, where you're setting the time and purpose of how long you will take toe, have the conversation, why you're having it and you're addressing that person's need and you're addressing your own needs. And this example my needs are to improve as a person and to be a better boyfriend. And at the end of the conversation, I'm saying exactly what I want to happen. We're going to move forward, and we're both gonna become better people. And then at the end, I put in the main obstacle, which is sometimes we have difficult conversations. You might bring up situations that have nothing to do with this exact situation at hand. So by setting the expectations ahead of time. What I've done is I created a frame for the entire conversation. We both sides know exactly what we expect from this conversation. We both understand what's gonna happen at the end of the conversation, and we both have an idea of how we might be derailed after when we do have this conversation. So by setting that expectations again, you're solving for all the unknowns, your frame of the conversation to go, exactly how you want them to go. And the thing is you want to know is that whoever sets the expectations is going to be in control of the entire conversation. But because you're asking questions like, is that okay? Throughout the entire conversation, the other person feels like they're in control because you ask them for permission. But in reality again, whoever sets these expectations is going to be in control of the entire conversation. So what? That said, That's everything we have to cover when it comes to setting expectations. And in the next sections and throughout the entire course, we're going to show you exactly what to do during these meetings so that you can be as most influential and persuasive as possible. 10. What Motivates People: everybody of what is going on. So in this section we're gonna talk all about figuring out what motivates people, because when you understand what motivates people, you're gonna be able to press the right buttons to pull the right levers become more persuasive and influential in your every day life. Now, the first question that I want to start with you guys is that why do people do what they do ? For example, why do people, especially girls by makeup, why do people buy a certain car, or why do people hang out around a certain crowd? So if you understand the why, behind all of this, you can pull the invisible strings of influence. Because when you understand why people do things emotionally, you're gonna have that empathy and understanding for who they are as a person and what they want. And when you understand these things, you can use your communication skills to persuade or influence them emotionally. Now here is the basis of how the global economy runs, and when you really boil it down and really think about what people want, people want to become a better version of themselves on the left side, we have this person over here and this is going to represent all people in the world, and that is essentially who we are. The definition of that is basically just who we are in the present moment, and everybody has a version of who they are right now. And then they have this next level version of themselves of who they want to be now. For the most part, most human beings have this where they want to evolve. As a person, we naturally want to progress and grow as human beings. So when you understand who people are and who they want to be, this is how you are going to master the skills of influence. So some examples of who we are and who we want to be when it comes to everyday life is that some people are a slave to their 9 to 5 job there at a job just to make money and pay their bills and the absolutely hated. Ideally, they would want to be in a situation where they are financially free and making money on their own terms, doing what they love for living. So obviously everybody who is a slave to their 9 to 5 job and hates it would want to be in the other end, where they are financially free. Another example of this is anybody who is unhealthy and overweight and not satisfied what their overall health. And that's a current stay of who they are, who they want to be is. Obviously they want to be fit, They want to be healthy, and they want to live a great life. And so this is why the fitness industry has been blowing up is because there are so many people all around the world who are unhealthy and overweight, and they want to make a change in their lives to who they want to be, which is someone who is fit and healthy. The last example. I'm a show. You is people who are shy and awkward similar to myself. When I was younger, I had didn't have the communication skills to communicate who I was on the inside, and I just came off as very awkward. Who I wanted to be is someone who was confident and bowed and someone who lived life on their own terms and so she can see here for the most part, most human beings have this version of who they are, which is who they are in their current stay of time and who they aspire to be. Now here is a challenge most people face. We all have this version of who we are, and we all have this version of who we want to be. However, there are always going to be problems and challenges and obstacles that prevent us from becoming who we want to be and a lot of times thes problems. Maybe so big that people will make excuses for why they can't become that better version of themselves. For example, they may have their 9 to 5 job, and they may say, I can't quit my 9 to 5 because I won't have any money to pay my bills and they'll never saw their own business or people who are unhealthy and overweight. They might say something like Tried everything and nothing works for me and they'll never become healthy Or some other people who may say they're shy and awkward. They may say I'm shy and awkward, and it's just not me to be both, even though they want it on the inside and they just make these excuses. So no matter who you're dealing with, everybody has challenger obstacles that they're facing that prevent them from who they want to be. So this is where you come in, how you want to position yourself as a influential character or a persuasive person is. You want to think of yourself as the vehicle to get someone from who they are to who they want to be. Literally. You're coming up to them. You're saying, Hey, jump in my car and you're you writing to the other side and you're getting them to exactly who they want to be. So if someone is a slave to their 9 to 5 job, one thing that I personally do is I teach people how to start their own coaching and consulting businesses, and I give them that step by step guide on exactly how they can do it and how they can obtain financial freedom. And so my course, teaching them how to do exactly that will get them to where they want to be similar to how fitness coaches or fitness consultants or diet consultants will help people who are unhealthy and overweight get to becoming healthy and fit, and they're also going to be a different type of life coaches that will help people who are shy and awkward and help them become the person they want to be on the inside and help them become that bold, confident person. So business does run like this where you have to understand what people's problems are, which is who they are. Their current self understand what they're obstacles are, is that are blocking them from who they want to be, and then you want to be that vehicle that gets them to where they want to be. And so if you position yourself as that vehicle, obviously people are always going to listen to whatever is you have to say, because you're bringing so much value and helping them become their higher versions off themselves. And like I was saying, everybody wants to become a better version of themselves. But they have these problems that are always stopping them, and a lot of times they're gonna make excuses, and these problems would just stop them dead in their tracks. And problems obviously will cause major pain. So to become more persuasive, your goal is to understand a person's pain and then you are going to be that solution to their problem. It's as simple as that and to understand another person's problems. You have to have that emotional empathy, and you have to understand what exactly people are feeling. And you're going to position yourself as that doctor who is going to get rid of the pain. And like we said before, people make their decisions emotionally and they're going to justify that decision logically. So when we appeal to people's emotions, one of the best ways to do it is to target people's pains because pain is one of the strongest motivators in the human mind. And so if you understand where people are, where they want to be, what problems and pains that they have that are preventing them from getting them to their higher version of themselves. You want to position yourself as that vehicle to get rid of that pain, and if you get rid of that pain, people are going to love you for that. So that is exactly how you can't directly target people's emotions and use their emotions to become more persuasive and influential in your everyday life. 11. How to Uncover Pain: everybody, What's going on? Welcome to the section where we are going to show you how to uncover pain. And this section is going to be that bist up guy on exactly how you can do this now to recap some of the things that we learned so far, we already went through the concept where we now understand what motivates people. Everybody has a version of themselves of who they are, and everybody also has a version of themselves of who they want to be. So our job is to identify what problems and challenges people have from getting from who they are to who they want to be, and we are going to be that vehicle that takes them to exactly where they want to be. Now that we finish the recap, Something I want to share with you is that there are many different types of pain. The 1st 1 we're going to talk about is called a realized pain, and this is when some people already know what their problems are. Another type of pain is called of late and pain, and that is when people don't know that they even have a problem. And so this is going to be a lot more difficult to persuade someone because they do not even know they have a problem. So typically, the first step when it comes to motivating people were pain is to make them realize that they actually have a problem Now. In some instances, people who you're going to talk to already know they have a pain, and persuading them is going to be a lot more easier because both sides are aware of what that pain is. However, if they do not know they have a pain, you have to first make them realize it before you can actually do any type of persuasion. So essentially what you're doing is that you're getting a late and pain, which is a pain that people don't realize that they have. And then you're transforming that into a realized pain and you're making them aware that they actually have a pain again. People are motivated by their pains, and if you can make the pain go away, you're gonna position yourself to be someone ah, lot more persuasive. Now here's the next level. Once you get only in pain and you turn it into a realized pain, making sure the other person realizes that they have that specific pain. Then you want to dive deeper and make that realize pain into an extreme pain. And this is when the pain actually hurts, and it hurts so much that they're willing to do anything to make it go away. And that is how you position yourself to motivate others, using the emotional pain essentially, what you want to do. You want to think of yourself as a doctor, meaning you're taking a late in pain, turning it into a realize pain than turning it into an extreme pain. And once I pain hurts so much emotionally for that specific individual, you're gonna position yourself as that doctor to make the pain go away. And what's really interesting is that whatever your solution is to make that pain go away. That's the solution that you can position to sell or pitch, whether it's a product service or idea. And if your product service or idea is positioned well to make their pain go away, they are going to take action and by or do whatever it is that you want them to do. So now that you understand high level on how to understand the different levels of pain. Where exactly are you supposed to start? I want to share with you that the most persuasive people are not the ones who are the smoothest talkers or the ones that have the loudest voice is the most persuasive. People are actually going to be the best listeners. And the people who have the highest level of empathy and empathy again means understanding somebody emotionally because people make their decisions emotionally and they're going to justify them a logically and how you want to become a better listener and have more empathy towards others as you want to learn how to ask good questions. So how we're going to do that is bring Inish introduce you toothy pain pyramid. Essentially, this is a way for you to ask powerful pain questions from beginning to end, meaning if you look on the left side over here, there's gonna be three different levels of questions. The 1st 1 is going to be the surface level questions. The second level is your business or family questions, and finally, the third is going to be the personal questions, and that is when you're going to hook somebody emotionally and get them to care. And so as you can see the surface level, questions are going to be easier. Questions that ask what they're more logical and they're just very basic surface level. However, once you dive deeper into the business or family questions, or even to the personal level thes air, going to be the harder questions, much more emotional. And they're going to get to the root of why people do what they do. So your goal, when you're asking different type of questions as you want to start off with the surface level, questions dive a little deeper into the business of family, and then once you have a couple more questions, you're going to get into the personal questions, and this is where you're going to get all of the emotion. So again, your goal is to get as fast as possible from surface to personal level questions, and the best way to uncovered pain is to ask questions once again. And so we're gonna cover the surface level questions first, so some examples of surface level questions can be Can you be a little more specific? What exactly do you mean by that? Can you give me an example? How long has it been a challenge? Have you tried anything to fix this So again, these air surface level questions I anybody can ask in the beginning of a conversation. They're not too pushy, not too edgy. These are very safe questions to get the other person talking. Next you dive into the middle section, which are the business or family pain questions why it's labeled business or family paintings. Because if you're in a business situation, you want to now talk about their business problems. But if you're talking to a friend or something like that, or someone who's in a relationship, then it goes into family. So that's why categorize them to either business or family. Some examples of that would be Why do you think that didn't work? Has anyone tried to do something about this? If you were to take a guess, how much is this costing you? Are you committed to fixing this? If you do nothing, what happens? So as you can see these air going to be a little more deeper where they're asking why and they're getting specifically into pains so For example, if you ask someone, why do you think that didn't work? And then someone might say, Well, we didn't work because this guy's done. This guy's not listening to me And the people will naturally want to talk about their problems again. You're persuading people by getting them to talk about their emotional pains. Now, once you get through the business and family pains were then going to dive into the personal pains. And so some examples of that are How does it make you feel? How does this directly affect you? Are you ready to give up? How do you think I might be able to help you? Sounds like a major issue. Why hasn't anyone taking care of us? And so, as you can see here, these air going to be a much more personal questions. For example, if you're talking to someone in the business setting and you ask them, how does that make you feel? Ah, lot of times people will say it makes me angry and makes me frustrated. I absolutely hate this problem. And so, as you can see here by talking about thes pain questions and getting into their personal emotional pain. They're going to give you their emotions on how they feel about that specific scenario. And if you do this right, people are going to talk about all of their problems. And how you want to think of it is that everybody has a story to tell. But typically no one is willing to listen. So you are going to position yourself as that person who is going to listen to all their problems. And once he tell you all their problems, are gonna trust you a whole lot more, and by understanding what they want emotionally, you're then going to position yourself as a solution to whatever problems they tell you. So again, the pain pyramid question starts from the surface level than the business or family questions and finally to the personal questions. And then you want to get as fast as possible to the personal questions and connect with this person emotionally, and it typically takes about three questions before the person actually talks about there. Personal pain. So once you feel any type of post of that pain, especially if it's personal pain, that's when you want to dive deep and constantly keep asking these questions that dive into emotionally why they care about something so much and how much pain it puts them in. So again, you can be the one to make the pain go away. So at this point in the conversation, you're not talking about yourself. Your why someone should do anything. What you're simply doing is your guiding the conversation with pain questions, listening to their answers and then building report with the other person by showing that you're listening and you haven't even said anything about yourself quite yet, because the reason why you don't want to do that is because you want to listen to exactly what people's problems are. So then, whatever you say later on directly appeals through these problems. So a rule of thumb is you want to spend 80% of conversations listening and 20% of them actually saying things. But you want to make sure that that 20% is extremely targeted to a person's emotional pain . So with that said, that's everything that we have to cover so far when it comes to using the's pain questions to draw out people's emotions, 12. Active Listening: everybody of what is going on. So in the section, brigand teach you all about active listening. Now it's not enough just to listen to somebody. You have to make them feel like you're listening and let me show you exactly what I mean. So let's say we're having a conversation and you're telling me this crazy story about something amazing that happen to you and I just give you this face that is just completely blink like this. I don't even show any type of emotion when you get into the exciting part. I don't even do anything. I just look at you straight in the eye like this. And then that happens. What you're going to feel like you're not listening and it's not gonna feel comfortable for you, and you're gonna feel awkward. Obviously, What we want to do is we want to make sure that when you uncover a person's pain and you're asking all these pain questions that you know how you can actively listen to them and make the other person feel like they are being heard, because when they feel like being heard, there gonna be a lot more trusting with you and they're gonna be willing to give you so much more information on the problems that they have and the MAWR information they give you on the problems that they have. The easier is for you to be the solution to their problem and become more persuasive. So here are going to be four different techniques that we are going to show you for active listening. Now the 1st 1 that we're going to dive into is telling others you understand. So when someone is talking to you, sometimes you could say these little cues, the little statements that just makes the other person feel like you're listening. So if you're saying something to me like Oh my God, this thing happened in blah, blah, blah and I could say something like Ha, that makes sense. That's pretty typical. I understand what you mean. So by saying thes things, you just acknowledging that you're listening. The second technique that we're going to go over is parody. Parroting is very simple. Where all you're doing is you're repeating the other person's words, exactly. And if somebody says this was really crazy, how it happened, then you're going to say, Wow, that's really crazy how that happened. So you're literally just repeating and using the same vocabulary as the other person. Now, this works really well because people gravitate to others who are very similar to themselves. And by parroting where you're doing is you're using the same words that the other person just used. And subconsciously, you're making the other person feel like, Wow, this guy is just like me. So parroting again, you're just simply using the words another person is using. Now another technique is rephrasing we're phasing as you're basically just some. Whenever someone tells you something or they tell you a problem, what you want to do is you want to rephrase that problem and just repeat it back to them. So if somebody says that, Hey, I have this HR system, but it's really outdated and it doesn't really work properly, and it's just a waste of time. If I am a sales person, I might end the conversation. I may say something like this. Seems like you have a really big problem where you have this HR system that's really outdated, and you're using a lot of time that is just wasted. So if by rephrasing what another person says it just acknowledge that you just listen to them and you heard what they're saying. And by rephrasing it, they're gonna think, Wow, this guy actually listens. He knows exactly what my problem is and that essentially, is going to build trust the next technique that we have as emotional feedback. That is, when you capture another person's emotion in your head as you listen, you just want to remember it. And so when it's your turn to speak after they finish telling you whatever they're telling you, you want to feed their emotions back to them. So if someone's very frustrated with something, what you want to do is you want to capture that emotion. Remember it in your head. When it's your turn to speak, you could say something like, Sounds like you're really frustrated with X y Z or sounds like that's really exciting, for you are so whatever it is, you just want to make sure you are repeating that person's emotions, verbally showing them that you understand emotionally how they feel. So as you listen to somebody and you ask your pain questions, you can use all these different techniques to show the other person and make them feel like you're listening. So telling them that you understand parroting, using the words that they're saying rephrasing what they're saying, you're repeating it back to them and capturing their emotions and using emotional few back to let them know that you understand how they feel. And so, with all these different techniques, you're not only showing you're listening to somebody, but you're also showing that you emotionally understand them and you're showing you have empathy. And when you combine this with the power of pain questions, people are just going to be willing to just trust you. And they're gonna constantly keep giving you information because you are going to be that great listener. And the truth is that most people in the world are not good listeners. Everybody loves to talk about themselves, but they never want to list him. So why listening is going to be extremely critical and becoming on persuasive? It's because it's so different and it's so uncommon that by doing it it's very refreshing for another person to experience. And if you use these techniques, people are just going to feel that you're listening to them so well and they're just going to trust you so much more. Then when it comes time for you to speak and picture a product or service our idea, they are going to listen to you so much more so again, these air going to be the four techniques that you can use to actively listen to somebody telling others you understand parroting, rephrasing and emotional feedback. 13. Earning the Right to Ask a Question: everybody, what is going on? So in this section, we are going to show you how to earn the right toe. Ask a question on why this is gonna be extremely critical is because most people they ask questions without earning that right to ask a question. And so to explain exactly what I mean, Let me go ahead and give you some examples. So what if someone comes up to randomly, just out of the blue and they say, Hey, can you do me a favor? And you're thinking to yourself, Well, what is that favor? Why do I want to even do you this favor? Or if somebody asks you, how much money do you make? Why would you want to tell them how much money you make? That's none of their business? Or if you're in a relationship and whether your girlfriend or boyfriend says is and they say, Hey, can I move in with you and you're thinking to yourself, I don't know. It's a little too early and viable of a lot, So as you can see here, sometimes we get into situations where we want to ask a question. However, how we ask it is very important to actually get an answer. And this is why earning the right to ask a question is going to be extremely critical. Now again, if you do not earn the right to ask a question, When you ask these kind of questions like, Can I move in with you? How much money do you make and things like that? People are gonna automatically think of their heads. Why should I answer you? Where is this coming from? I don't want to answer you right now. So again, why you want to earn the right to ask a question is to avoid these situations and put the other person in a position where they are much more likely to answer you so that you can actually get a straight answer from them. And that's going to improve your communication skills and help you become more persuasive in whatever it is that you want to do. So to do this, we're gonna show you how to earn the right to ask a question using the D. I Q formula. So what exactly the d Iike formula is essentially a way to ask a question and so d I Q is going to be an abbreviation, and it's gonna be for data insight in question. Now the deep part of it, which is data, is going to be a statistic or observation that you are just saying the insight is basically your explanation or your opinion or analysis of that data. And finally, the question, which is the question that you're gonna use your basically asking a question based on the data and insight that you just convey to the other person that you're talking about. So now that you understand the basics of exactly what the D I formula is, we're going to dive into some examples, so you get a better understanding of exactly how you can use it in your every day life. Let's go ahead and give you an example. So this is example Number one, and it's going to be a business example, and I'm going to assume that I'm a sales person and I'm trying to sell some recruiting software to another company. And if I were to ask him a question like asking them how they handle their recruiting right now, if I just ask you straight up like that, some people may answer some people, maybe a little hesitant because they don't want to give up so much information. But using the d Iike formula, we're gonna position in a way where the other person is gonna feel very comfortable in answering your question, because I'm going to show you how exactly you can earn the right to ask a question like that. So let's go ahead and get started Data. Now, most hospitals are a little slow to update their software when it comes to recruiting. Now we're going to go into insight. Sometimes even though they have hundreds or even thousands of applications per month, they're still doing them manually. And now we're going to go into the question. I was curious to know how your team was handling recruiting right now, so if you put it all together, it's gonna sound like this. Now most hospitals are a little slow to update their software when it comes to recruiting. Sometimes, even though they have hundreds or even thousands of applications per month, they still do it manually. And so I was curious to know how your team was handling recruiting right now. So when you're asking it like this with the data inside and question, it's just gonna make so much sense of them, and especially if they're in a position where they're actually doing hundreds or even thousands of applications per month manually, it's going to be easy for them to say, Yeah, you know, we're also doing it manually to or they might be saying, Oh, you know, we actually have a softer for that and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But see the differences if I just ask somebody straight up. Hey, what recruiting software using right now, they may not want to answer, and it's not very comfortable because they don't know who you are. Why would they want to give up so much information? But if you uses data inside question, you just position yourself as somebody who's actually curious. And you're coming in with a lot of value because it just makes sense to why they would answer, because by answering your question, you're providing value in that you might be able to help solve whatever problem that they have. So that's just a business example, a sales example of how you can use the data inside question, and you could use this throughout the entire conversation when you're trying to pry for information Now, I'm gonna give you a personal example for say, you want to move in with your boyfriend or girlfriend. How do you exactly say that? So if you just say, Hey, do you want to move in with me? They might be like, No, I don't want to move in a few. Or maybe they might say Yes, but if you position it this way, it's gonna be a lot more easier for you to have an open dialogue and better communication. So let's go ahead and dive in. I'm going to read this to you straight. So you have a better feeling of exactly how this goes down. So let's go ahead and begin. We've been dating for almost half a year now. So far, it's been amazing. And I love spending time with you. And from what I can tell, you enjoy spending time with me, too. Now, this might be a little early, but what do you think about moving in together in this example? What's going on is that you're putting in the data, which is we're been dating for 1/2 year now, and the insight is that based on that half a year of dating, everything's been good. I've been loving it. You've been loving it. And so now you've earned the right to ask the question, and this is a really big questions for most couples, and that is, Hey, I'd be a little early, but do you think we should move in together? So in this example, you know, you could clear to see it by positioning yourself in having that data inside in question, you're gonna be able to ask so much more tougher questions. And because you have this data and inside, it's gonna make it so much easier because you're earning the right to ask a question. And so you just want to remember that whenever you're out and about in your business war, whether it's your regular everyday life, you want to think about it when, before you ever ask a serious question or a tough question that you may be faced with rejection, you want to use the data inside question so that it opens a dialogue, makes it more comfortable for the other person, also makes it more comfortable for you and your earning the right to ask the question, and that's going to be the key difference between you and every other person that asked these blunt questions. So let's go ahead and dive into another example, and we're gonna assume that someone is angry at you for not paying them back money that you borrowed from them. Let's go ahead and use three D formula once again and again. You know, this formula is applicable in almost any situation, whether it's business or life. So let's go ahead and dive in to give you context for the situation. Let's say somebody's angry at me because I borrowed money from them. I didn't pay them back, but I need a couple more days before can actually give them the money. I understand where you're coming from, and I get the feeling that you're upset about me being late on paying you back, and now we're gonna go into the insight like you just said. We agreed that I would pay you back two weeks from when I borrowed the money from you, and I also feel bad that it's been over three weeks now. I know you want your money back as soon as possible and I want to give it back to you as soon as possible to, But I'm a little bit in the jam because of X y Z. Is it okay if I pay you back within the next three days? So as you can see from this example, the data is that I'm just factually saying this person is upset with me and that they want their money back and I want to pay them back. And the insight from that is basically what I'm doing is I'm summarizing whatever that person said and then the analysis of it is that obviously they're angry and I feel bad about it, and we just both want to make the situation better. Now, the question that I want to propose is that of course, I want to give this person his money back. But then I might be in the jam where I don't have the money right now because of X y z so that then I make the ass I need through more days before I can pay the person back. So you position it this way. You're empathizing with the other person. You know exactly what their pains are You're making it clear that you want to solve their pain in that you want to pay them back as well. But you're also making it clear that you need a couple more days before you can actually pay them back. Now, if you just said that, you just need more time like another three days, another person might get mad at you because they said, Why do you need three days? Because I already gave you an extra week and that can lead to a whole another communication conflict. Now, because you're using this data inside question, you're not only empathizing with the other person, you're also recognizing how they feel and you're letting them know how you feel. And you're giving them a clear explanation on why you need three more days to actually pay them back. And so when you position it like this, the other person is highly likely to be like, OK, go ahead and take three days, and then I really expect my money within the next three days. And then that is that. So you can just make it very clear on exactly what the situation is. Build that empathy and then the other person is gonna be a lot more likely to go with whatever you say, because you're making it so logical for them to understand. But you're also empathizing with their emotion. And like I mentioned throughout the entire course, people make their decisions emotionally and justify logically. So in this example, we're not only hitting their emotions with that empathy. We're also going in with that logic by giving them that that clear explanation on why you need more time to pay them back. And so what? That said, That's going to conclude how exactly you're gonna use C D Iike formula in any type of situations, whether rich you owing someone money or whether it's you or your loved ones, or whether it's a business scenario. And the key thing to remember is that before you ask any type of difficult questions or before you ask any type of favors, you need to earn the right to ask the question. And one of the simplest ways to do it is using the D. I Q formula 14. Answering Questions with Questions : everybody, What is going on? So in this section, we're going to show you one of the most powerful persuasion techniques that I know. And this is gonna be an extreme tactics of how to actually navigate through difficult conversations. And that is how toe answer questions using questions. Now the most challenge that people have is that we're just naturally wired to think that when somebody asks us a question, the natural thing to do is answer it right. If somebody says something like, How old are you? You want to say your age or what's your budget? You want to give them your budget or any type of scenario, and a lot of times that can actually backfire on you because sometimes you don't need to give up any information because the more information somebody has on you, the more leverage that they have on you. And so what we're gonna do is we're going to reverse the situation because in any type of persuasion conversation, whether it's a sales negotiation or just having a conversation on your everyday life, whoever has the most information on the other person is going to have the most leverage. And so what you want to do when somebody asks you a question rather than giving up the leverage and giving them more information, what you want to do is reverse it, and then you want to answer their question with a question which will give you more control over the conversation and get them in the position where they're giving you information. So let's give you an example of how this actually works. So let's say you're trying to sell something, and the potential customers says, How much is it? And you say it's only $5000 then the potential customer might say something like, That's way too expensive. By Evan, you say, Wait, we could work something out and blah, blah, blah, blah. But by the time you tried to save that deal, it's already dead because $5000 was a complete turn off for whatever budget that they had. And so in this example, a potential customer asked me how much my product was, and I told them it was only $5000. So the natural thing most people do is when somebody asked you how much it is. You want to just tell them straight up. No, it's a $5000. However, if you want to maintain control throughout an entire conversation, you want to answer that question off another question. When this person said, How much is it? I could have said something like, Well, do you have a budget that we can work with? And then he would give me his budget. And then, instead of quoting this person $5000 maybe I could make some adjustments to whatever product or service. I'm showing this person so that it fits whatever it is that he's looking for. If you just naturally just answer questions, you put yourself in the position where you might lose a deal or you might. It might hurt yourself in a conversation because you don't always want. Just give up that information. You want to understand the rule of why people ask your questions so you can answer them accordingly. So that's why I to get to the root of why people ask your questions and to really understand the core of it, you've got to reverse it and ask a question with a question. Another personal example is, let's say you have a girlfriend and they say, Does this outfit make me look fat? And if you just say yes, that totally might blow up in your face or if somebody says, Do you want to come to my party and let's say you don't want to go and you just straight up , Tell them no, you might offend this person and it might ruin the relationship for the long term. How do you answer these questions appropriately and get to the core of why people ask them and make sure you maintain your relationships for the long term. And again, how we're going to do this is we're going to answer these questions with questions. So again, instead of answering their questions directly, like saying yes or no, or I don't want to go to your party or yes, it does make you look fat. We can answer their questions with another questions to gather mawr information, and the more information that we gather, we're going to get to a point where we could answer their question appropriately. So again, the whole point of this is that if you just answer their questions right away, you may not actually answer the core of why they asked her question, but by answering their question with another question. You're gathering more information, your frame of the conversation, where you're in the position where they're just giving you information and you're in complete control. And once they give you enough information and you are confident that you could answer their questions accordingly and get to the root of why they ask it in a lot of time, that's going to be emotionally. Then you can actually answer their question and get the deal moving or persuade the other person to vo. However you want them to feel. So before I give you some examples of how you can answer questions with questions, Here's some key notes. When you do this first, you want to collect as much information as possible, and you want to understand why he asked the question. You want to get to the root because you're not a mind reader. You don't know exactly why people say what they say unless you actually ask them. And the best way again is to ask questions. The third point is that if you're unsure of why someone ask a question, you just gotta ask them from And the fourth is by asking a question is going to give you so much more control over the flow of the conversation, and it's going to give you so much more control over the conversation. And lastly, it typically takes three questions to get to the real rule of why people ask the question. So if somebody says this outfit make me look fat, sometimes you have to answer the question with three questions before you get to the root of why they're asking and then you can answer it appropriately. So let's go ahead and dive into example. So you know exactly what I mean. So some examples of counter questions, it could be something like how important is priced to you. How important is this to you? This seems really important to you. Can you explain why? What do you want me to do? I get the feeling you're upset. What can I do to help make this right? So these are some examples that you can use to answer a question with a question. And so now that you have some examples of counter questions, I'm gonna give you some questions again. Where I'm gonna show you exactly how I would answer their question with a question to get to the root of why they asked. So let's say somebody's asked me. How much is it, right? Let's say I'm a sales person and somebody asked me How much is my product or service? I could say something like, It seems like price, maybe something that's very important to you. Is there a range or a budget that you can share with me that we can work with? So we make sure it's a fit on both sides. In that example, I'm basically reframing it so that the other person tells me their budget. So I will show only show them products or services that actually fit their budget and not show them anything that just way out of their price range. So, another example. Let's say you're in a relationship, and then your girlfriend says, this is outfit. Make me look fat, and I could say something like, Baby, I love you, but what do you want me to say in this situation where I'm talking to? They might tell me exactly why they asked that they might see. No, I feel insecure about this I feel like this dress is too tight and blah, blah blah when you gather more information than you can answer accordingly. Another example is, Do you want to come to my party? And I could say, If I don't want to go to the party, I could say I'm a little busy right now. Is this a party really important to you? When I say it like that, they might say, Well, it's not really important because, you know, I have party every week, So if you want to come this week, you come next week and I say, OK, cool, right. So if it's not important to the person, I could just easily decline and I just say no, But if the person asked me again, Do you want to come to my party and actually is important? I could say I'm a little busy. Is this party really important to you? And they might say, Yeah, you know, it's my birthday coming up and we're having a big celebration. I want all my close friends to be there, and if that's the scenario, then of course I'm gonna make time for this person because it's their birthday. So rather than saying yes or no on the spot, I'm gathering more information by answering their question with another question. To gather more information. And then, if it's important, I'll go. If it's not important, I won't go. But it's better than me just guessing and saying yes or no right off the spot, because that may offend the other person. And it may ruin the relationship for the long term. Eso in negotiation. Someone might say to me, Do you think this is a fair deal? And I could respond with saying, Well, what exactly is fair to you? And so buy them defining exactly what fair is? I can answer that question by tailoring whatever I say next to ensure that after how this person defines a fair deal, I could say something that fits in that definition of fair, and then that negotiations going to go a lot more smoother, and that's a lot different from saying yes or no. So if somebody asked me, do you think this is a fair deal? And I say, Absolutely, it's a fair deal and they may say, I don't think it's a fair, do you? Why do you think is a fair to you and suddenly you have this conflict. But if you answer the question with a question and you say something like, Well, what exactly is a fair deal to you? Then you're gathering more information. You're framing the conversation where they're going to give you all the information and you're just controlling it with these questions. And once you gather enough information, you can finally make your statements on what, exactly you feel. A fair deal is it's going to align whatever they said, because you just have the upper hand. You have the leverage because used these questions to gather more information in The last example we're going to go through is, let's say I'm a buyer and somebody and the sales person says, What's your budget? And I could say, Well, before we get into the budget, do you mind showing me what different products you have at different price range? So I get a better understanding of what kind of services that you offer. So I reverse the situation where this other person, instead of me giving up that information of what my budget is because sometimes sales people will always price at the high end of your budget and try to take our your money, you could say, Hey, just show me everything that you got and I'll let you know which one makes the most sense. And then you reverse the situation where now the sales person has to do all the work in showing you everything, and then you could decide whether or not it's a fit for you or not. This is very different from if you just told them your budget. They may just finesse that situation and position it so that they're only showing you products that are on the high end of your budget, and they'll just keep pushing you and use high pressure techniques to get you to buy the most expensive thing that fits your budget. But you want to reverse it, have full control and choose whatever it is you want. True, without getting pressured by high pressure tactics by a sales person. So with that said, those are going to be a few examples of how you can answer a question using another question, and again, the whole point of it is to position yourself where you're collecting all the information and you have the control of the entire conversation, and then you can answer the questions accordingly, depending on whatever information that you get. So with that said, that's everything that we have to cover when it comes to answering questions with questions and I'm going to see you guys in the next section. 15. Softening Statements: everybody, what is going on? So in this section, we are going to cover softening statements now when it comes to softening statements, this is going to make you so much more deadly when it comes to using questions to completely take control over any type of conversation. How it works is that when you make any type of harsh statement or ask a hard question softening, it makes it easy to listen to for the other person. Essentially, you're literally softening the statement and and making easier for another person to hear whatever it is that you have to say, because if people aren't willing to listen to whatever is you have to say, forget whenever you're asking, because it's not going to communicate through their heads. And so this is why you need to position yourself in the situation where you're softening all of your harsh statements before you actually say them. So a softening statement is basically just a statement, you say before you say something harsh. Now, here are a couple examples of softening statements that you can use now again. How you use them is that you simply want to just put them in front of any type of harsh question. So some examples include that's a good point that makes sense. I'm glad you asked that. How I appreciate your question. I understand. I hear a lot of people say that. So as you can see here, they're essentially statements that don't really mean anything unless they're attached to another question. Now that you understand what a softening statement is, we're gonna go ahead and combine them with the questions that we've been learning throughout this section. So softening statements combined with their questions, so an example would be that's a good question. Can you explain why this is important to you? That makes sense. And why is this so important to you? I'm glad you asked that. Let's say we can deliver this to you in two weeks. What would be the next steps from here? I appreciate your question. If you were me, what would you do? I understand if we could do that for you, what would be the next step? So as you can see here, a softening statement basically just makes the entire question flow. And, like we learned in the other sections of answering a question with a question or using the DEA formula to ask a question. Essentially, you can always find a way to soften it and then ask the question. So, for example, when in the 1st 1 if I said something like that's a good question, can you explain why this is important to you? You can see here that the phrase that's good question empathizes with the other person and shows the other person that you're listening to, whatever it is that they're saying, if you just simply ask them, can you explain why this is important to you? That may work, but it might come off a little harsh, and they may feel like you're challenging them or question them too hard toe, get an answer. But if you say that's a good question, can you explain why this is important to you? It just makes it flow so much more and makes whatever you say so much more inviting. And by creating the environment where you feel comfortable and the other person also feels comfortable, there gonna be a so much more likely to answer whatever questions that you have. So again, softening statements are all about just making your questions a lot more softer, making them flow a lot more, making the other person feel much more comfortable so that they're more willing to give more information and answer your questions because the more comfortable you make another person feel the MAWR, likely they are to answer your questions. And the more questions that you could ask when with the more questions that you can ask, the more you have control over the entire situation. So that's why it's critical to make sure that you're not only using questions to control the dialogue but also use softening statements to make your question much more deadly by making the other person few much more comfortable. And again, this is not some manipulative tactics. You're simply just making your words a lot more nicer to here. So the other person's a lot more willing to answer your questions. So with that said, that is everything that we have to cover when it comes to using softening statements to make your questions, Ah, lot less harsh 16. Mastering Time: Hey, what's going on, everybody? Some of this section we're going to go into how you can master time. Now when it comes to persuasion and communication skills, you gotta understand that time is going to be extremely important because a lot of times people are either in situations where time is not on their side and it's working against them. But on the other end of the coin, you can position yourself so that time is on your side and is working for you. And so, with this section, I'm gonna show you exactly how to do that when you're having a conversation with anybody so that you can be more persuasive and get more things done. Now, Back when I was in Silicon Valley, when I used to sell technology, we would always create these artificial deadlines, and this is how we would make sure that time would be on her side. So how we did this was that's him trying to sell a product to somebody. And basically I would say, Hey, I would tell the company that the product will cost $13,000 I would give them a discount and say if they could sign the deal. By specific day, they could get it for $10,000 so essentially they would be saving $3000. So I could say, You know, if you sign this deal by the end of the month, you're going to say $3000 I'm gonna give this to you at a discount for $10,000. And so, essentially, what that does is it makes the other party feel this sense of loss at version. And to remind you again what loss at version is. It's basically that fueling where somebody is more motivated by the fact of losing something than they are of gaining something of equal value. So if you put that deadline and say you have to sign this deal by the end of the month, they're going to feel like if they don't do it by the end of the month, they're going to lose out on saving $3000. So basically, the person will obviously want a discount, essentially, what you're doing it. There's a duality benefit to creating these deadlines, so if the person obviously wants a discount and you want to get them to sign the deal, on a specific date. And if they have any type of hesitations to why they're not signing the deal, because obviously it's a great opportunity. It creates an opportunity for you to figure out what those hesitations are and what those challenges are, so you could address them head on. So if somebody says, Hey, I want to say that $3000 But we can't do it because blah, blah, blah, blah, and then whatever reason for why they tell you why they can't do the deal on a specific day , you try to find a solution to get them to sign on that specific day and work with them. So not only do you incentivize them to want to close the deal within a specific time, but if there are any type of hesitations toe wide the do not want to do the deal or move forward, you're going to get that directly. And you could say, Hey, you're gonna say that $3000. So why is it that you don't want to save $2000 they're gonna tell you exactly why? And you could address it head on. So let's go ahead and combine some tactics, and I'm gonna show you how we can use the leveraging deadlines tactic, and we're gonna combined it with the D. I Q formula. So, in the sales example, let's say I'm selling a product that's $13,000. This is how I would position it. I start with the data. Typically, I charged $13,000 for my services, but I do like to work with people who know what they want in a ready to take action now. So if we close this deal before the end of this call, I'll knock the price down to eight $1000. So it from this example you can see that I'm using dia que formula where the data is that I usually charge $13,000. The inside is I like to work with. People who know what they want are ready to take action because that's where real Park is is going to be made. And finally, the question The question is, Hey, do you want to do this deal by the end of the call and say $5000 I'll give you this package for $8000 and so they may say, Yeah, that sounds good. And they might say, OK, let's say that $5000. Let's go ahead and sign this deal by the end of the call. So by doing this, you're essentially using deadlines and you're creating this artificial deadline. So you get the person to feel that loss at version because if they don't do this deal by the end of the call, then they're going to lose out on saving $5000. And if they want to do the deal, if you later on, then they're gonna be charged to full $13,000 that's just not going to be good for them. So they're going to want to do the deal right now. And you're also using the D ick formula, where your positioning at where you're making the other person feel comfortable. You feel comfortable and you're earning the right to ask a question on whether or not they want to do the deal for $8000. But because you position it so that you are charging $13,000 they say 5000 then it just you basically earned the right to ask that question by providing value and saving this person $5000. However, because you're making up the price and you basically charge whatever you want and you're making up the deadline, you're just putting yourself in a winning situation where all these things may be true. You control the entire environment. So if you're giving that discount, you control how much discount you're giving and in fact, that you may be happy with the $8000 price, and then they're they're gonna be happy with that $8000 price. And the one thing you want to realize is that most deadlines are flexible. So when I was working in the tech world, whenever we would put a deadline, whether it's at the end of the call or by the end of the month, that is something that we literally just made up so that people feel the urgency to want to sign the deal and get that discount. But the truth is, if somebody uses this technique on you, you want to make sure that you do not fall victim when someone uses is against you, because you have to understand that most pricing is made up there, it's always inflated, and most deadlines on when you have to sign a deal are made up. So if you want to buy more time, you can. Because that actually means you have the leverage in that. You know that whatever deadlines that they have, it's flexible. You want, understand that time is always going to be on your side if you position it to be so if you don't want to do the deal right now. But you also want that discount, just go ahead and say how you feel and you have to understand that because deadlines and pricing are always flexible. If the person really wants to deal and they want to sign with you, then they're gonna push your deadlines. They're going to keep their discounts to make sure that you actually do deal. And when I was working at Oracle, a lot of companies realize this and that, even though when I said I would secure them a certain price by the end of the month, they would actually push that deadline further and say, Hey, you know, we literally cannot do it by the end of the month, but we need another additional month, and if you get me that price. I'll make sure we do the deal by the end of the second month, and then I would obviously move forward with it because I don't want to lose the deal. And then by the end, the second month they signed a deal with everybody wins. So you gotta understand. Any type of deadline is going to be made up and is always going to be flexible. So whether you're the one that is creating the deadline or somebody creates it, before, you do know that you can always reverse it and have control over the entire situation. But you just gotta have that mindset that time is always on your side, and you always find ways to position yourself where that will be true. So what? That said, that is everything that we have to cover in how you can master and leverage time and use it to your advantage and any type of situation, whether it's business or your personal life. 17. The Power of Scarcity: everybody, what is going on? Some of this section we're going to talk to you all about the power of scarcity on what scarcity is, essentially, how rare something is now. The first thing that I want to share with you guys is that perceived value. Essentially, all that is is how someone values A certain thing increases as scarcity increases. So whatever is as someone is valuing, the more likely it is to be scarce and more rare. And there's higher demand and low supply, the more value someone will place on that item or that service or whatever it is that you're talking about. So the harder things are to get the higher chance. It's more valuable and so far in human nature that has been very beneficial for human history, of top thousands of years that we've existed. For example, sugars or fatty foods or oils are all things. I use P rare during the hunter and gatherer days for human beings so that we would value fruits or fruit fatty foods or finding essential oils within animals. Those things were very hard to get, and because they were harder to get, we perceive them as Mawr valuable and we actually went after them more. And the more resource is that we got it ensured our survival as human beings. However, now that the world has changed and even though we have the same wiring that we had during our hunter and gatherer days, thes type of wiring usually are right, but they can be easily exploited during this day and time. For example, sugar, fatty foods and oils are things that are not rare anymore, but they used to be thousands of years ago, so things like candy or adding sugar in coffee or tea or fried chicken or anything that tastes fatty or oily. These are all things that the human mind perceives as delicious and good and rare. But in reality they're not rare anymore. So food companies are putting more sugars and fats and oils into our foods like chips and Candies and things like that to get us to buy more and constantly e and e and e and our body things. It's rare, so we keep wanting more, but in reality it's just not good for us, and it's not rare for us anymore. As you can see, it can be very easily exploited. Another example of how that works is the example of diamonds where human beings, they really value diamonds. But essentially a time in is just a rock. But then we have this value in it and that people all around world, they have value in these diamonds, and there's a monetary value to it as well. But what's really interesting is that the reason why the price of diamonds is so high is because it's perceived as rare. But there are very large diamond companies out there that have aton of diamonds in hard cold storage, and they are not releasing it to the public because they want to make sure that the price of the diamonds remains. Hi, have they just released all their diamonds to the public. Then it's going to inflate the price of the diamond, meaning the overall price of diamonds will go down. And that's not going to be good for having high profit margins. So as you can see here, human beings value diamonds. However, the price of just inflated and are manipulated by of large diamond companies. This is just another example of how a company is able to manipulate the idea of scarcity in order to be profitable. It's pretty much the same way how food companies put in sugars or fatty foods or orally foods into the market to make human beings want to constantly eat that, even though it's not good for them. So essentially, the mawr rare people perceive diamonds. The more willing people are willing to pay a higher price for it. So it's not. It's very common in America, where people are paying 15,000 or $20,000 for a diamond ring when essentially, it's just a rock with an inflated price controlled by a company. Now that doesn't mean it's not valuable is it just means that these companies were masters at creating that proceed value by making these diamonds rare, even though they are essentially are not. Another reason for why scarcity works so well is because there's this idea of loss at version, and we've been talking about loss aversion throughout the entire course, and that is, people are motivated by the thought of losing something mawr than they are to the idea of gaining something of equal value. And to demonstrate an example of this, we're gonna use the off white collaboration with Nike Air Jordans. So essentially the issues were a collaboration between a brand called off White, started by Virgil Abalo. And essentially, what he did was he collaborate with Nike to great thes special edition sneakers. And so the retail price of thes sneakers were, ah, $190. But because they purposely limited the supply of thes sneakers, they intentionally hyped up the demand. And they put these on all the blog's and and they all the influencers on instagram had them . Everybody wanted them. So even though the retail price was $190 the after market price for the shoes or over $2000 . So essentially these issues basically just completely sold out the first few minutes that they were out, and then people were training them and buying them on the aftermarket for 10 times the price so that you can see here they artificially created this feeling of scarcity and by having a limited quantity of thes sneakers, drove up that the man for and then the price increased 10 times. Now, are these sneakers worth actually $2000? Well, depending on who you ask, because it's all about perceived value. If somebody is out there willing to pay $2000 for their sneakers and there are many people out there to do it, then that is the price of that sneaker. Although there's not much practical value and buying a $2000 sneaker, that's just like every other sinker that you can get for $200. However, because there's this proceed value high demand for it, and then the price it really is $2000. And again, the more scarce and rare something is the higher proceed value that it has. How you can apply it to your life is you want to understand that whatever it is that you want to buy, you have to understand that, um, higher demand for in the lower supply there is, you know the price is going to be inflated and is going to increase now if you are a seller , if you want to sell something, you want to make it sound like everybody wants to buy this product and that whoever buys it , they're actually lucky to buy it. Then you could drive up the price to increase your profit margin and That's just the business example of how to increase profits. And but obviously you can use in any type of example where the more difficult someone is to get, whether it's, ah, trying to be with an attractive girl or whatever it is, the more attractive that person is. The higher demand there is to be with that person. And so that person has the cream of the crop and they could choose wherever they want. So again, you can use thes concept in the business scenario or you can use them in everyday life. You just have to understand that the more rare and scare something is the higher its perceived value. So when it comes to pricing, know that pricing is always going to be made up just like how deadlines are always made up . So if you understand this concept, you know that you can control the price in any type of situation by understanding how high the supply is and how high the demand is in adjusting what you say accordingly. So you have to understand Thies to supply and demand concept. They're very basic concept salary. They're very powerful, so if you can use them in your communication skill set that's going to give you so much more leverage and buying and selling power in whatever it is that you're doing. So with that said, that is everything that we have to cover when it comes to perceived value and scarcity. 18. Alternative Options: Hey, what's going on, guys? Some of this section we're going to talk all about alternative options, and this is one of the most important sections when it comes to having more leverage in any type of conversation that you're in, whether it's business or your every day life. Now, to start things off, I'm gonna tell you a little story. And for me, I travel a lot, especially in Southeast Asia, and a lot of times I go to markets, and a lot of times at these markets, people will sell similar things. So I remember one time I was going in and I was trying to buy a new key chain, and I saw this Mario Key chain and I thought, Wow, this is really cool. I want to buy it. And so when I asked the person how much does cost, they gave me a really high price because obviously I am in a more American foreigner. So they thought that they could just price really high, and they think that I would just buy it because I don't know the pricing and me being experienced in these situations and understanding that people at markets always inflate the price because they know that some people would just buy whatever price that they're given. I just said, Hey, I can get this cheaper at the other Sore and I just walked away. And so what happened was the other person knew that I was in a fool and knew that I can literally get the price anywhere else for cheaper. They came back and say, Well, wait, you know, I could do better price. I could do a better price from there. I got the negotiations started and I got the Mario Key chain at a much cheaper price. And the reason why I was able to navigate that situation so effectively is because I had options. You know, I knew what my options were, and I knew that I could buy the exact same item at any other store in this market. And because I understood the options, All I had to say was, I could find this cheaper somewhere else. Which is true, Evan. I could get the other person to drop their price until we found the price that made sense for both sides. The lesson of the story is that when you have options you are going to have the power like , say, for example, if you don't like the way someone's treating you when they're in the working relationship, you don't have to work with them. You could say Hey, I don't like the way you're treating me. I don't like the way you're treating my team, so we're gonna go ahead and work with somebody else now that's leverage because they obviously want to work with you and they want your money. So if that's the situation, they'll say, Okay, out change because I know you can go to anybody else for a cheaper price. So I'm going to treat you right. And so, from a business situation, that's exactly how you can leverage the fact that you have multiple options so that you can get other people to treat you in a fair way when they're breeding you very unfairly or they're treating you very rude business situation. This supplies any time when you're buying something or selling something, because obviously if you have options, you can go somewhere else, and they even applies to non monetary things like relationships. For example, if you know that you can spend time with anybody else and you're someone that's attractive and you have a lot of value to give to anybody. Other people are going to treat you well because they understand this and they understand that the relationship you have with them is beneficial for them, so they're going to treat you a lot more better. So having options all around, whether it's business or everyday life situation is always a good thing because it gives you a lot more freedom to navigate more freely. And if someone doesn't treat you the way you want to be treated, and you could simply just drop them and find other alternatives. So now that you understand exactly how the power of having alternative action works, I'm gonna show you this technique called options stacking. And essentially what you're doing is you're stacking all of your alternative options together to create much more leverage in any type of situation. So when you are looking to buy or so something, the key is to stack as many options as possible as fast as possible, and I'm going to go ahead and give you an example of this. So I remember when I was starting out as an entrepreneur. I started a macho ice cream pop up store, and so what I would do. I would hit up different companies and different festivals and say, Hey, can I sell my ice cream at your festival? And to actually do that? What happens is that it's a revenue split where they get a percentage of whatever you sell or you pay them a flat fee just to so at their event. And the reason why that works is because they're essentially bring in the people and you're bringing your product to sell. And so you're basically buying their traffic. So if I reach out to three different people, they might give me a price that I may like or may not like. And if I don't like it, if those are my only choices, then I'm so going to do it. Otherwise, I just can't sell my ice cream anywhere. So instead of relying on three different festivals to sell my ice cream at, what I would do is I would make a list of every festival in my area, and I would hit literally all of them up, and so some of them will say yes to me. Some of them will say no. Some of them will quote extremely high prices. Some of them will quote me medium or low prices. And so if I didn't like the pricing that someone gave me, I would say, Hey, either you lower a arm, just not gonna come to your event. And so either they would lower it or they would say, No, we're not lowering it. And I would just go to another festival and say, Hey, can I sell your event? Can you sell your event cancer? Your event? Essentially, what I'm doing is I'm stacking my options rather than relying on three festivals. I literally When I was doing this, I would hit up over 100 different companies and say, If I could sell my ice cream at your event and then from there, I would filter it down and Onley work off the people that quoted me a fair price and where the deal actually made sense and I didn't have to work with anybody that I disliked because I had so many different options. It's the same when I was a sales person in Silicon Valley, where I was selling a product or selling of service, and basically, especially in the start up stage. When I was working at a start up, I would hit up literally thousands of different companies. And I guess I got a lot of knows. But I also got a lot of yes is. So the reason why you want to do this is because you want to create as many options as possible, because if you have very few options and people know that you can try to get so many different services out of you while paying you as little as possible. But if you have leverage and you have all these different cos I wanna work with you, then you could say, Hey, this is my price. If you don't like it, I'm just gonna go to another company and that creates a lot more leverage for you. So the secret here is you want to stack as many options as you can as fast as possible, so that when you go into these negotiations situations, then you can just let the person know and give that aura of confidence, knowing that you can go to any other company of this person does not treat you the way you want to be treated. So in all aspects of your life, spending a little extra time to make sure you stack your options will give you more freedom in the long term. This was the exact same process I go through when I'm looking for an apartment to rent where I would hit up as many riel state people as possible hit up as many apartments of possible say, Hey, I like your apartment. What's the price with surprise and ask everybody that. And then I would try to lower the price on all the ones that seem too good to me. Even if someone are not willing to budge on their price, I'll say, Hey, look, I like the place. I like your apartment, but I have these three other options are giving me this price if you could get it lower than them, that I'm going to go with you. And so, by creating that Leverage and Lenny other person know that I have many different options, there are a lot more likely to lower their price because they know that I can go anywhere else so that works in a business situation where you're selling something. It works when you're when you're finding a place to rent for a good price. Whether you're or you're buying a car even when it comes to dating is the exact same human thing where the more options that you have, the more leverage that you have, the more leverage that you bring in any type of negotiation or persuasion situation and again, a place of business relationships and, literally how you live your day to day. So if you have options in every aspect, from where you buy coffee to what office you work in, or your entre manure the type of companies that you wanna work with, where the type of employees you want to work with, the more options that you have, the more leverage that you have in the more control you're gonna have over your entire life . And the key thing here is that when it comes to stacking your options and creating alternative options, it's all about protecting yourself, because if you're only working on one person and you never met them before, how can you trust them? If you never met them, for example, let's say you're trying to rent an apartment in the one person messages you on Facebook and they say, Hey, come down to my apartment and see if it's good for you Now this person, you don't know them at all. They might try to rip you off. They may try to quote your high price and try to use high pressure techniques to close you so you just can't trust them. If you even go into that situation to learn more about that apartment, even though if you only have one option and you're running low on time, even though they may rip you off, you may take the deal because you just don't have time to look for another apartment. And so you just can't always trust people to do the right thing. And I found that in every situation, whether it's finding an apartment to ran or a business situation, people a lot of times you can't always trust them to do the right thing. So by stacking your options, you protect yourself from the bad people out there. They're trying to rip you off. Now, not everyone's trying to rip you off, So if you find someone that you like and you meet them for the first time and they're actually good. Then you go ahead and do that. You have options, but you don't need to use them. However, if someone treats you badly, try to rip you off. Then, by having all these options, you could simply say no. You I know what you're trying to do. I'm just gonna go somewhere else. So option sacking really is a technique to protect yourself. Not only are you giving yourself options of flexibility, your preventing yourself from being taken advantage of, because when you get the hint that someone's literally trying to take advantage of you get say, Hey, look, I know exactly what you're doing Either you're going to stop right now or I'm just gonna go somewhere else. And so that is going to be a technique for you to protect yourself. So But that said, that is everything we have to cover when it comes to creating alternative options and using the technique of options stacking to create more freedom and flexibility for your business and your personal life. 19. Conclusion: everybody. What's going on? I want to congratulate each and every one of you for completing communications skills machine now to recap some of the things that we've learned through this entire course. First, we learned some of the best strategies and tactics top performers and the top companies are using to get people to by their products or services or listen to their ideas. We also covered some of the best communication skills you can use to make a phenomenal first impression. And finally we learned how to persuade others simply by tapping into their emotions, understanding their pains and then becoming their solutions to their problems. Now it's not enough just to wash these videos and believe that you're just suddenly more persuasive. You actually have to go out into the real world and practice these strategies and techniques. And I'm confident that if you work hard and if you're patient and you constantly practice and you put yourself out there, you're gonna become extremely more persuasive in your every day life. And if you need help any time during your persuasion journey, feel free to reach out to me at any time, and I'm happy to help now. Finally, if you feel like you got a lot of value out of this course, go ahead and leave a five star review because every review does count, and I do read every single one. So if that said, Congratulations again on completing the communication skills machine and I'm going to see you guys in the next one. 20. Next Steps: Now, if you're getting any value out of these courses, make sure to leave a positive review. Sharing your experiences. I read every single review, and I really do appreciate your feedback. And if you want to see more videos like this, make sure to follow me on skill share so you could be notified on when I release my latest courses.