Communication Mastery: Sub Communication | Jason Mighty | Skillshare

Communication Mastery: Sub Communication

Jason Mighty, Life Coach

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9 Lessons (1h 38m)
    • 1. Promotional Video

      6:56
    • 2. 1 -The Importance of Sub Communication

      21:53
    • 3. The Body Part 1

      18:45
    • 4. The Body Part 2

      7:01
    • 5. Our Voice

      11:04
    • 6. Breathing and Pausing

      24:13
    • 7. Eye Contact

      11:46
    • 8. Smiling and other Facial Expressions

      3:20
    • 9. Activation Techniques - How to Practice Sub Communication

      14:30

About This Class

In this course we lay down the foundations to communication on a whole by understanding the subtle things we do which are separate from the words we use when communicating with someone. We call this sub communication and it partially involves body language as well as many other aspects of ourselves that we never think much of in relation to communication but often speak louder than our words.

We are all familiar with body language to some degree but sub communication goes much much further than this in relation to effective communication.

Here are some signs that you need to work on sub communication:

People don't listen to what you say,

People don't respect what you have to say,

When you repeat cocky-jokey comments you hear other people say you come off offensive rather than cocky,

People you are sexually attracted seems repelled by you in only a short matter of time

You are sometimes the "butt of the joke"

You are defensive,

People don't listen when you say no,

People rarely laugh at your jokes,

Unfortunately the list can go on and on and often it does. Instead of having this be your life, and instead of adjusting to the negativity why not put in the time and effort to learn how to communicate in a manner that is captivating and commands respects. This is easily achievable by taking this course on sub communication.

Be surprised by what effect little adjustments to your sub communication can make. Let's grow your self-esteem by building the greatest foundation for unstoppable communication regardless of your age, sex and race.

And once you decide to take this course and put the teachings into effect, please send us a comment or review telling us how things have changed for the better.

Transcripts

1. Promotional Video : either. My name is Jason Mighty, and I'm a life coach. He specializes in teaching people communication and social skills. And today, after eight of this substantial course on communication, the reason why I've done this because I see many people struggle in for being aspects of their life being the home environment, the working environment, relationships and friendships. These are four environments we all want to improve. But we don't have the skills to improve at it. So instead, we feel anxious. Okay, We try and stay away from these environments, stay away from communicating with new people with strangers with people we may find ourselves attracted to. Okay, Understanding how to better our home environment on working environment. These are all things that can be improved that when you understand the communication, this is why I say communication is key to everything. It is one the greatest life skills to improve it. Because you improve that everything. Okay, so let's not listen to society. That tells us to be great at communicating to be great at talking with people and opening up that we either have to be drunk or an extra Bert. Okay? You don't have to be drunk to actually have the charisma to hold a conversation and be the life of a point to your interaction or any environment. Okay, on. You don't have to be an extra vert to know how to communicate effectively. Okay, To control the floor to show that you have a high self esteem, you don't need those two things that don't listen to science is to society. Let's instead understand, Andi feel in our knowledge. So this is wife great. These courses and I split them up into three main modules. Module one is our sub communication. These things that we do that's behind our words. Okay? These are the foundations for communication. Okay. He may have heard of body language. Body language is one aspect, but therefore other main aspects of sub communication. Okay, on we look at this completely, and while we do this, the great thing about understanding so communication is that as you improve acted, you also improve your self esteem. Okay, so this is the foundation to communication. Have people respect what you are going to say before you even say it. I know it may sound perplexing and confusing that you can come off powerful E and attractive before you even say anything. But that is true. And that's all done. We understand that in module one, Sub communication module two then moves on to all of our calls off you Munich ation. This is every way, every type of way that we can communicate. Okay, so all of us we uses on a regular basis, but I want to feel in that knowledge completely. This helps Would never run out of things to say to be free flowing with your mind. OK, when you get to conversations is no like you have in a chess battle, but rather free flowing, okay. And how to do these things effectively on a get rid of the four main floors that I see when it comes to communicating part of me and very gassy today. For some reason, um, those four main floors are, um, neediness, eager, putting people above you and low self esteem. So as we look at the course, we look at them in a way that we use them as effectively as possible. Andi, we understand how these make each court ineffective. Okay, on that understanding will stop you from communicating ineffectively. Okay, stop these bad habits that people just feel repelled by you. Okay, then we move on to module three. This is what I like to call our tactical talk it. The reason I call it this is because it is everything that we can do to make sure that we have the power into coming in the conversation, that we other words controlling it, or at least that we don't feel fresher or antagonized while we're having a conversation. There's something that we don't like, and we know how to express that effectively. Okay, so this is more for, like, if you're somebody that isn't like in a working environment, you feel that people are always putting their foot in your mouth. Then this is perfect for you to understand. Um, your tactical talk it, I found, like with love women. They love the tactical toolkit because often they feel like they are lacking the power or control they need in that conversation. And these this is one way to get that back and understand that. Okay, so in the future will bring it out. More more topics. But these are more advanced topics. These three modules are the main thing. If anything, I would say if you only decide to invest into one course from me ever in your whole lifetime, invest into module one module, one being our sub communication is the foundation to all communication. But if you understand that for a lot of people that will alleviate anxiety, alleviate a lot of your sticking points when it comes to talking, interacting with other people. So module one is a must I guarantee you that 100% I wasn't. You probably go into that and you realize how effective it is. And I'll probably see your module to and Marge or three. But don't feel pressured. The feeling it like you have to do the whole course. Okay, if you only take away one thing I repeat, if you only take away one thing, it's much of one. Okay, that's it from me. Hope to see you in the course is thank you 2. 1 -The Importance of Sub Communication: either. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my course on unstoppable social skills through mastering communication. Now we're gonna begin with our foundation on our foundation is I will sup communication, Andi body language, which really is sub communication as well, but an aspect to sub communication. So this looks at all the ways that you are conveying yourself without even knowing on this has to be the foundations that you build upon on for a lot of people have noticed that sometimes all they need is learning off body language and sub communication on their conversations. Flow better. And it will actually have to, um, enter the father with Marshall's model to and module three and so one that just getting the right foundations sets you up for lifetime off good conversations on valleys to an improved social social environment and proves your social skills. So, um, what does bad sub communication? How do you know you have bouncer communication? So, you know, you have bad sub communication. Youth. If what you say people do not gravitate to what you're saying. So let's say you're in a meeting, Okay? Do people listen when you speak, do people appreciate every single word that you have to say when you're in a social environment, are you able to join in and shared floor without with looks without feeling like you don't belong? Do you sometimes find that friends, family people that you know are able to say like cheeky, cocky comments. But whenever you try to do the same sort of thing, say the same coming, it doesn't come across right? Andi, people have a negative assumption to you. Are is absolutely awful trying to express an idea, say, a topic off interest, something that has true value. But you're saying in such a way when no one cares to listen, no matter how important that information that topic back conversation and you wouldn't bring up is it does not matter if you're not presenting it correctly, Okay? So for a lot of people who have conversational skills from a lot of us do have natural conversation of skills that we've nurtured since we were like three years. Plus these are natural conversation of skills. But over time we've painted our natural skill by lowering lowering. Pardon me, I was self esteem and you can see this through. I was sub communication and body language. And often we don't even realize we are sub communication sub communicating that we haven't lower value or that we see ourselves with low self esteem on what I love about tackle in sub communication on your body language is that through this process, you actually build up your inner love, your self esteem, your courage and charisma just by looking on understanding the foundations of communication . This is why again, I say, follow people they're sticking points may be mitigated simply by understanding sub communication and that you may not even have Teoh look into or even consider purchasing my module to or module three on master and communication because this has bean such an effective life skill, but you don't actually need anything else. So let's start here and let's let me give you an analogy. Good. Well, not just good. It's up communication. Let me give you an allergy off. What? This is life. Okay, so let's say you go into a restaurant on the restaurant run down. You have waiters and waitresses in uniforms that aren't pressed that have lots of stains on the table. You sit down. There's stains on the cot Marie The glasses. Um, the plates underneath the table gun has seen, like, stuck to the bottom of the table. I'm going to the toilet on. You realize there's urine all on the floors. Now, this is, um this is an environment you will not eat at. Okay, you go in. See all these bad negative signs. Andi, naturally, you just go now. I'm not feeling this place. This place is not clean. It's not fresh. I don't want to have my milk come from this place because the assumption is that whatever is being cooked in the kitchen is gonna be horrible. Okay, Is gonna be on satisfactory and may even be rotten. Gonna taste bad. You're just gonna have a good, um, a good evening going to this restaurant on These are signs that you have seen your going there for the food. And the experience on the environment has tainted your idea of the food before. You've even seen it. The kitchen could be immaculate. The dish that comes out to you could be one of the finest issues you've ever had. But you will not stay. You will leave. I know. On Lee, would you leave you were full encourage to treat that place. With this respect, it's shown you so that so you're chewing gum. You may feel inclined to stick that gun underneath that table instead of putting in tow. Bid, like everybody else would naturally do. But why? Because the table really has 20 plus pieces of gum attached to it. What's one more going to do to that? Okay, you go to toilet the bathroom. Are you gonna be conscious and accurate, or are you not going to really get? And if you spill a little bit, the environment is a really dirty, you know, really changed in their environment. Okay? No, only do you dislike that environment you are encouraged to disrespected as well. So now let's flip it. Let's say we go into an environment where, um, you walk into this restaurant on your greeted with an amazing smell. The waiter and waitress comes up to you with a amazing, um, full bodied smile of their uniform has no stains. Your cutlery, sparkly, your glasses sparkling the table sparkling. That's even linen on the table. You go to toilet. Is that being there being like a hand royal? They have fresh towels that you wipe your hands on these small little towels and you put it into a tower. Been now, that environment that presentation at a restaurant has given you, you're going to stay there, you're gonna want to have a meal. Okay? You don't even know if the mills gonna be good. But environment is presented itself in a way where you can almost guarantee about that meal is going to satisfy you more than satisfy you. And think about how bad on awful you would film if you were Cuban gum and you decided to stick that gun on the table under this table that sparkling has nothing underneath that has been presented world. How bad would you feel doing that? If you go to toilet and you washing hair and you know, sometimes the soak dispenses, we press it and a little bit drips off our hands and trips under a sink. If that's a spotless sink, I guarantee you you are gonna take the time and effort to wipe that little bit of soak off . I've seen this. I've seen restaurants where people are shy and sheepish about spilling red white onto linen on a linen is there to sir? Copy stains. That meant to the stain. But even staying in that people feel sheepish. And you really have to think about that. Okay? Think about no, only do you really want to eat that place, the prices are gonna probably be through the roof. Okay. That places demonstrated at high respect for itself. Okay, event. The price of its mills are going to be higher than anywhere else. So no, only do you appreciate for this environment on want to be in it, but you owe soon are encouraged to respect it. And you do on any disrespect you give to that environment. Makes you feel bad. Doesn't damage the environment as much as it damages. Um, the thought of yourself. You feel bad. You feel like you stole it from the place. If you damage anything, even if you're staying something that's meant to be staying, do that. That place that shown such a high respect for it so that it's hard for you to even comprehend being disrespectful to any aspect of that environment. Okay, let's give you another analogy. Okay? Let's say instead of a restaurant, um, you want to buy these shoes there a few £100 of dollars and you be searching for them online. And you finally found a place that those, like a good deal on them. Still very expensive sort of issues that you were. People know that Are those expensive shoes are no. Which type Those are. Those are the LA blah, blah, blah, blah. People see them and they know our person. I spend a little bit more Ningbo shoots. There was a really nice let's say you're wearing these. You walking down the street with a friend and they accidentally step on your shoes can lead a little Scott Mark scuff month. You easily wipe off. Okay, so it was no big deal. However, your friend knows the price of those that love that you have most trainers. The care has gone into making them. The Kiev you've put into presented them. Well, how bad is that friend gonna feel about stuffing? So it's trainers. Are those shoes Okay, Janice. Flippant. Let's say we're shoes that you've had thought five years that you've not really taking care of that. You you go running in and muddy field with okay? Do you think your friend Sam apologize. If they stood on the shoes, they would apologize for potentially helping you. But that apology isn't cool. Um, accidentally scuffing shoes. Zoom. What I'm trying to stress here Is that how you present yourself with your sub communication tells people around you how to treat you if you so sub communication that is powerful, that indicates to your self respect and high self esteem. People are gonna feel bad doing anything negative to your person. So in one case where you may be having a conversation, people keep butting in to that conversation, Cutting you short? No, listen to what you have to say, because you demonstrate yourself were no self esteem through yourself communication. Now let's say you flip that people are gonna respect what you have to say. They're gonna give you the time to communicate and get your ideas across. And they're gonna listen to those ideas because the way you send them is captivated. It comes from a place of power. So this is why sub communication is the foundation. It doesn't matter how well your communication skills are if you don't have the backing off a powerful sub communication to everything you do, then that thing that you communicating is not gonna go as far is not going to reach as many years is not gonna be appreciated is not gonna be respected. You are not gonna be respected. As much a dish truly should be. And it's even worse if you see highly of yourself. Did you see highly of yourself? And you're wondering why nobody else those because stop communication. And this is something that a lot of us don't realize we're doing wrong. Okay. In London, in the analogy off the restaurant, the restaurant I presented itself well, could still have a role town. Awful mill, okay. Or a subpar meal to what you were expecting. No. You're still more likely to go to their again before you ever try the first restaurant that looks run down. No matter. Um, how good The food coming out the kitchen actually is. Okay, so keep that in mind as we look at self communication. Now, this £5 to sub communication, there is the body. Of course, on this refers to like body language. Okay, then there is, um, your voice. Okay. How do you say things that gives them more traction in people's ears and makes things more captivating. Next we have, um, breathing. Um, Cools is so this goes hand in hand with your voice. Okay, Um, so when you having conversations, this waste time, you breathe and you communicate That is ineffective. So we'll look at that. Look into breathing pauses on your speaking pattern, okay? And develop a speaking pattern that is natural to who you are on how from captivating all at the same time. Then we've got understanding eye contact on all the aspects that go around eye contact. So, um, no stone is going on turn when it comes to eye contact, which I see. And, uh, people that talk about communication. Skipper passed a lot of things that contribute Teoh understanding. Eye contact s So we're just gonna look at what's effective. We're gonna take our time to understand. Um, I contact completely why? It's effective and so on and so forth, then, Lastly is mild. What I want across the Ellen that on small goes 100 100 eye contact. Okay. And these are the main £5. We're gonna go through them step by step, understand it. I understand them. Hum elite, Lee. And the reason why I love this so much is like upset before when you go through the process , truly build and not be a sub communication. Understanding it on building up to where you have a powerful, suffocating vacation where it's natural and free flowing. That builds up one. The most important things you can ever achieve in life I'm back is so bestie, most important thing you can aim to achieve in life. Okay, so and like, I see professional pro athlete go through a life off positive reinforcements to the action , yet they won't. Well, sometimes they do. But they may not still be able to build up the level off self esteem about you will build up after going through just module one. Hey, before we even get into the actual, um, communication, the cause of communication being tactical with topics on power control. Before we even get into that, we a build enough the greatest foundation you could ever have, which some people we would expect to have the highest the highest self esteem do not have often Lee do commit some. Do you know on the reason why I love this course? okay, it's a little bit biased, but the reason why I love it is, let's say you're somebody who's built self esteem degree an activity through prowess. Three. Um, being vacuous in any activity. Okay, on, let's say, let's take away football in, Okay, They've gone through the life there getting up in the sport, people recognizing them, knowing them just from that sport that if given a life, too, they have instagram full of words that are in the thousands 200,000. But let's say that person has an injury and is unable to form back task. For whatever reason, do you think they will still have, Ah, high self esteem? What do you think? Oh, plummet because that self esteem is linked to is linked to that activity. So when you have it self esteem, it's linked to simply your will and you want on understanding, then your self esteem camp never be knocked down. Okay, Most important thing, this is what underlining it like 17 times here it is the most Horton face that you will achieve and gain from. I'm going to marshal one completely so saying that let's dive in and talk about the body 3. The Body Part 1: okay. When it comes to the body, there are the main subsections. You spying on being a line? Okay, there is your good chest, Andi, to be space around you. Okay. Amount with body language in my time of building on my own body language of noticed quiet. A few things I just piqued my interest on this is how I like to teach it something that you should always look out for in your life when it comes Teoh. Well, let's just get into it. So when it comes to what language, I often hear these comments that sound cheesy. They've been over said Onda said, in such a cliche aid way that it becomes cheesy. Now One thing I realized about these is that they actually come from a place both off profound knowledge. So let's start by thinking about your face. So you often hear the comment. Hold your chin up. Okay. It's so cliches so cheesy. Something that's normally said to black it here or someone used failed I activity in there looking down. Okay, Hold you to know. Even looking down is a lot of phrase. You're looking down. It's your press. You're deflated. Okay, hold your chin. Oh, so that's number 14 folks up Communication is that no matter what you're doing your walk in talking somebody else. Okay? Now you don't look down, okay? Look in when you look down, okay? It shows you're deflated that you think low of yourself. Okay, so, chin, however with whom sub communication, everything lies on this spectrum zone one end. You have, um, Suffolk in a medication that is negative. That is small. We quiet. These are the associative terms of this end. And then on the other end, you have things are two out too big to exaggerated. And these are the terms that you would associate this end. Okay, so let me draw it out here. So one end is wait on the other end is to room. This is just unassociated term. It may not be about one end this week. It may be One end is why it on the other end is loud. Okay, these are just They're sotus tive terms. Damn. So you get understanding this spectrum OK on all sub communication lands on the spectrum. So when it comes to looking down on holding your chin down, you're around here. It's a week. Um, posture. It doesn't show highly over yourself. Okay. No, the other thing is that being at this end of the spectrum is bad, but being at yeah, I don't even know what that was be. This end of the spectrum is Oh, so bad. Okay, so when it comes to the chin and holding your head up, Okay, so looking down is on this end, But actually, if you're looking up, okay, it's on this end. What are people you always hear? The term off nose in the air is like somebody who's snooty who thinks too highly of himself . Okay, so when you're het is too high, it goes over here on the other side, off the spectrum, OK? Equally as bad. So when I say, consider the head, Your chin should be parallel to the floor. It's not actually about the chin. The phrase hold your chin up, talks about it should, but all it's doing, it's going. You look straight in front of you. Okay? No. Higher. Because then you go in after the wrong side of the spectrum. Okay? Which is equally as bad as being weak. Um, So yes, That's number one. Go ahead. And you find that just now. When I was talking on looking down, if only found that my projection wasn't where it should have bean. Okay, so my linemen house been hindered by me looking down. And that has, um, ruined my ability to project. So that's not only affected how I look physically to somebody how I'm demonstrating my self esteem in Oh, so thanks how I voiced my topics. You can talk to somebody looking down. It caught song. You're really to object on build a connection. It actually hurts you on the read on three places will look into the other three as we go into voice on eye contact. Okay? Lost when you can have eye contact if you're looking down and I compact is one major part off some communication. Okay, so going on, we've then got chest. You often hear the term chest out. Okay. Is a form of having pride and who you want. Now people always say pride of the bath thing. Yes, too much pride about that spectrum again. Okay, If you're walking around, punched over your chest, this collapse, it affects projection again inspects your breathing. And like I said, earlier, breathing is the I think that the topic of sub communication on a So just by collapsing in the chest, you're visually showing that you don't have much respect for yourself. Okay? The vast this end of the spectrum, and then the end is being to both, Like I'm so proud, You know, it was like, Yeah, you know, guys and girls both do this pumping off the chest too much. Okay, that lives on this side of spectrum. Okay, it's to try hard. Okay? People look at and think Are there trying to hard they think low off themselves because you don't need Teoh. Exaggerate. Overcompensate if you have high self esteem. Okay, so remember, both extremes of the spectrum are bad. So that's the next part chest. They're able to take in a lot more air. Your voice projects your voice resonate through your chest. Okay. Given you more depth in your voice, Um, when I'm looking at voice, I'm only gonna top and touch on the main topics of voice. I'm not going to talk about how Teoh add depth to your voice because that's part of another much another course that I have, which is very cheap. Now it's about I've in depth to your voice and having a powerful voice. I want to show you the main points, but I won't give you like tips and techniques of how to, like, truly deepen your voice. Okay, um, for this, let's continue with body language or the body. So remember, before we move on that the main aspect of body is being able to be comfortable in the space around you. If you cannot be comfortable in the space around you, you have to improve on work on body. Okay on. There's no about being small because that means you can't express yourself in this space around you. There's no about being too big, meaning that you have to overcompensate for this idea that you do feel small in the space around you. Okay, so any reactivity you want to, I take full advantage. The space that's around you, it's your space. Okay, that has to be stressed. This little bubble around you belongs to you. Okay, people, get into your space. Walk away. This space is yours, sir. Moving on. We moved to alignment. Okay, so, like having you face. Look forward. That's a lie in your head, then going to the chest, having it out as a line chess. Next, we need to think about the full body alignment, okay? And having our feet underneath our shoulder and that stats is an incredibly powerful stand . And now you know you are allying. However, you also have to consider posture. And I really like using the word posture because it sounds too much like I'm a teacher, stressing about importance of question. But I will say the greatest outfit you can ever Where? Yes, your posture. Okay on. You want to make sure you have posture. How come we double check that we have Good question. When we're lying to double check that we are in line. The way you make sure that you are a line is that you go against the war, find yourself a wall of some sort on on that wall, find against it. Put your heels directly. I'm touching that war. Okay, so your heels should be touching the warm. And then Rome you showed us back. Let your head touch the warm so your head should, because in the war now you should also have two other points of connection to that woman. One day in your upper back on the next being your but Okay, sir, put yourself completely against the wound. Okay. You don't want your lower back to the caution. That war could We need my lower back just above the bomb. But make sure that your chest there's touching a warm, but your head is touched. The wall. It was a collection of warm. And if you can do that and be comfortable, then you know you have the issues like the majority over. Now, there also be a few rubles who won't be able to do the activity that I just said that we may have paint. I'm simply trying against that wall. So that indicates to lifestyle staff affected your posture. Best damage a posture over long term. Okay, that's a long term problem. So when it comes to this, I would say Talk to your doctor straight away. Okay? Seek out medical ways to have your back improve. Okay? Have it a line you can't train and muscle if the reason of muscles, I can't train you to have a powerful stance and to be a line if your body just won't allow for it. Okay, Some are possibly may be on our computers too long. Every day we may slouch on our couches and we sit down the whole day in a bad position. On over months. Two years of our life back all accumulates too slowly, ruining our posture. So little tips, Teoh, Help improve your posture, but definitely do talk to a medical advisor first to go talk to your doctor GP first. With these are mine. Look, tips and trips. Okay, But only do this after you've talked to your doctor or sort out medical advice. So one is sleeping without a pillow. Sometimes we have, like, three pillows on. We're pushing our head way too high while we sleep. And for the whole night, where back should be relaxing. Okay, straight or not is not given that chance, because you've got too many pillows holding up the neck, okay? And push enforcing it to be bent around that area. Next, think about when you add a piece that you were hunched over. Are you straight of? You sit. You have good lumbar. Um uh called number protection number. Support artery. Make sure that you have good lumbar support when you're sitting on the chair, but you're straight, Okay. Comes to when you're lounging Zin account. Okay, The selling your counting, you just release your body into it, and then you go like this. You're back. Uh huh. Okay. What do you sit properly into? Account and you're not slapped in any, um, thing that you may sit in. Okay. Next is looking at phones or device. Are you walking around looking at your phone like that? Okay. And to somebody else, it may look a little bit weird how exaggerated you are with your phone. But that is such a better stance to look at your phone or your device, Then a lot of us, we walk around all day like this. Okay? Are you watching a video? I know this new generation. A lot of us again to the practice off being a YouTube, watching videos, reading the news, doing things on our phone for long amount of time. Okay. How bent over are you want doing activity? So these are just a free meal, scientists. And look at that wound a battering your linemen. But I gave my stress if you are. I'm one of these people that do feel pain and you're unsure about, um, ability to perform that task off. Simply stand against the wall. Make sure you see cats medical help first. Okay, um, so that's with alignment after stress that would these about 100 start accumulate together on ruin your ability to to project? Because if you can't be a line that hampers your projection, the hampers your fundamental really teat communicate. So don't let bad habit ruin you. Don't let your, um, bad habits hold you back. Crume demonstrated your true self work. Okay, no amount off working pewter sleep in with 84 pillows. No amount of them will ever be work Your ability to communicate effectively. None of it. So don't let these bad habit. Really? You have Billy Teoh build self esteem to communicate. Okay with that point, that's a move on 4. The Body Part 2: So the last bit I need to talk about is pertaining to self holding himself. Come. Okay, so these, uh, bottle body language that demonstrates that you don't come, but not necessarily bad, unless you're constantly doing it on it, creeping into your everyday conversations. I know friends that always, like, hold themselves like this in every conversation, I'm even going to the part where they were collapsed. When it comes out your arm or fix our drinking, they feel very insecure. And it just shows the body language. Yeah. You have to make a conscious effort to stop budgeted and self holding. There's no bad. Every once in a while, you may feel like you need a little bit like a comfort in rub out to yourself, but it can't creep into your everyday conversation on the problem about trying to be conscious about Is that often we don't know. It has if you are able to be conscience off bad habits when it comes to myself holding and fidgeting of this, um, your conscious off? Yeah. Try and stop it. But sometimes you need to talk to somebody else, talk to friends and ask them. Do I have any parts of my body language, things I do what I realized that makes me come across as well. You know, you're allowed to ask your friend full of that bison things because when you've done something for so long, okay, become such a part of you that you don't even realize it. Okay, So ask external people for their input So you can truly understand, are OK, that is a bad habit. I didn't even read lifestyle, and some are so money Minute. It may take you years to truly get them out of your sister. Really? I used to have one, which was like raise eyebrows constantly. So, like if I'm talking in a situation where just trying too hard in that conversation, my eyebrows were raised like this. I realize so much to rest was like piling up in my forehead, which a lot of people cumulate stress and like the forehead and showed us. You know, if you always walking, ramble like showed it, you really need to leave it that definitely, definitely definitely talk to somebody else and have them point out your floors when it comes. Teoh holding yourself, um, about your represent patient in the world around you. If anything feels like it's showing that you uncomfortable in the space around you, then he needs to be looked at addressed, fit So little tips that I have for stopping self holding is replacing it with something out . Okay, so some of us we like Teoh self hold like this not to show you can see it. So I hold like this and we'll hold this position hours in a row. No, a powerful position is no bad because, like I said, everyone, some while you do on need to have those comforting holds and appreciate who you are, that's not a bad thing. But like I said on that, a creep into your every waking movement. When you find if you find I've used becoming a big part off how you express, um, represent your character, then replace it. So replace it with, like, hands on him a one hand, not so much more power taking advantage of the space around you. So I know I used to be like this. I would fidget with my hands of, like, things like like I would hold my hand in the back. I replaced that was simply one hand on the hip. Okay? And it puts that or than their nervous energy into that one position. Focus. Is that nervous energy? Not for a lot of us. It may be hard to focus that nervous and in June to one spot. So a little cheeky tip, however, still learned. Teoh, get away from this. Tipped I'm going to give you is Let's say you're in a business environment. You talked with some colleagues and you normally teach them with your hands or something. Always do it. So much nervous energy going into situations. Try die renting that nervous energy into your feet. Okay, wriggle your toes. No one can see your toes in your shoes. Okay. Give all that negative energy into place that people don't even realize you're weekly and and showing signs of, like, a of insecurity with anti ACOs not showing it so much. But also time learned to stop. Okay, because we look at later the importance of keeping bees things up. How about, um that allows you to hold good, charismatic body language without even thinking about? Okay. Comes part the self esteem by your building up through how you present yourself becomes part of you. We look at that and last part of this module, So yeah, that's a great way of just General read off Baton Energy. Okay? You don't know if I'm doing it right now. I could be having so much nervous energy while filming this whole thing. And you don't know if I directed it into mine conceiving, right? No, that's it. Full body. OK, so a quick recap making sure you're headed straight. Making sure your chest out. No, overly. Remember that spectrum? You don't want to do things too much. You don't want to do things to collapse. Chest is too little over the top chest by first announces too much. Okay, Just be proud. Reimer, Mongie! Rhoda showed us back. Allow that chest adjusted out. Then you want to make sure your line comfortable in your space. Expressing yourself in your space, Andi. Mitigating your nervous energy. So that's a quick run down off that and now we can move on to Was the next voice nice 5. Our Voice: Okay, Next section is voice, and this is one of my favorites. Um, this sub communicates what you think about yourself in every single word. Voice is important. So, like, think about when you try to get your point across on it seems like no one's listen to what you have to say. Let's address that. And it's not about the content of what you're saying is about the way us saying that we boys. So the main aspects of voice is you're loudness your in election on your which isn't too much of warrior just touching on pitch because there's a lot of misconceptions when it comes to so going straight into it. Best talk about loudness. Remember earlier I was talking about this spectrum, I will repeat it and repeat it and repeat every part of sub communication lives on the suspect. So full loudness you have on this and okay, you're simply too quiet. People can't hear what you're saying. There you go. Whispering you. I want to say something bump behind your work so it shows when you're quiet that you yourself do not believe in what you're going to say. If you cannot say it loudly with the expectation of people. Well, listen, will appreciate what you're saying. If he can't say life, it shows what you think about what you're saying. What you think about who you were, so don't want to be spend where you're quiet. Next. We've got too loud. Okay? You probably I've seen the person who's too loud in, like, a bar environment. That person, that gun and drunken you can hear them from outside of the venue. And they're just so loud on off noxious. Okay, so you don't want to be on this and you want to be in this middle spot. This thinking, Dean, that is where you want your loudness to be. However, I won't say this for caviar. That's true about again with this being a quiet in this being allowed. Okay, this is your neutral CenterPoint. I would say while you're practicing, your loudness is actually being more around. Yeah, okay. When you find with a lot of people, they think they're being loud object in north, but they're really not. So I don't want somebody, Teoh, because you can only gage the representation. I'm giving you off a neutral loudness through this video on this video can be manipulated. You can put the ball down. You can put it off. There's not a great representation of your loudness. Okay. And the way that I know that you are achieving a powerful speaking both of you is if you learn to just be a little bit too much like you can go to this sort of area and not be obnoxious. You know, as long as you hope in this sort of middle area don't feel for that's absolutely fine. Um, but yes. Learn to project and push your voice out. Now, a lot of us may have found that hard to do in the past because walking around with a collapsed chest heads always down, and I'm were not alive. When you're lying, you're able to project and push out that voice and a lot more. So everything works hand in hand with one Did, uh, next we have I would inflection Hello. People don't actually know what the destruction is. Know what? Let me. Okay, So we have I want normal, um, speaking pitch people have a deep voice. Okay, So this is my natural pitch. A lot of people always want a deeper pit. Okay. That's why I created that first course reading. My course are We say that a deeper pitch isn't actually the most captivating way to use your voice having more. I can't turn your boy those alone a lot further than your pitch. However, one part of pitch that does say a lot about you. Yeah. Elections. So, what is an inflection? An inflection? This how you bend your pitch towards the end of a cent or the end of a word so I could go? Hey, which is a reflection that hasn't changed. Get a pitch hasn't shifted. Go. Okay. Okay, So that's going high. Hey. Hey. You know, goes high towards the end. I could be like, Hey, you hear that little dip? Hey, gonna go a little bit closer. Mike, over here. Hey, so the pitch has shifted low. Yeah, or this pitch has shifted higher. Okay, Okay. It's and then and neutral is Okay. So hopefully you understand elections now a hi inflection. Okay. Hey, this is your high election on. This is your low. And like I always say you want to stay neutral. Everything lives on the spectrum now. Sometimes it is effective to wobble around here. Okay, you go a little bit high. Sometimes it shows, um, appreciation, but begin too high, I think off Mike. A groupie like a Justin Bieber groupie. My God. Just like how high pitched, the inflection just goes. The whole voice is pretty much ah, high picks, inflection that shows so much connection or so much, um, over commitment to that person that it comes off. Look in we our lives on this end of the suspect, then you've got ok, okay, on that is young collection going deeper, and that lives over here where it's like, you really don't care about any, all right? Not caring about being committed. You're not caring that, that you're not connection on. If you're saying everything with this, no inflection this, really. I don't here about anything. You can watch my video. No, I do know. Yeah. If you go run with that reflection of goes low water time, it's hard for people to actually build a connection with you on. The whole point of this course is social skills are mastered communication. This is a form off communicating right stocks communication. Okay, that shows that you don't really want to communicate. You have no interest in anybody. So that's how hi shows a lot of interest. Low shows. You want to stay around this and middle section lies, I will say. And lastly, we have page now. A lot of people believe that having a high pitch voice here that I want to say, having a high pitched voice is not bad. No, make you seem weaker. Having a deep voice does not make you seem stronger. It's how you use those pictures. Okay, yes, if you have too high pitch of the voice, it sounds weak because it sounds like a height reflection or the time okay to the ear is every haunted food shape. If you're inflicting a height, itude it. It sounds like he always have a high pitch right. That's like you really have to have hard voice, and that's not natural. You don't naturally have that high. Same with like a super low, deep voice, like some people may go over that six, but it's not sexy because of how deep it is sexy, because a deep voice is able to vote that, um, that crow key, Uh, you're humming good which I realized my voice. Quite a few of the however, look at my course. If you want to develop voice looking, my course and that will develop your voice there that you can have in your voice. But it doesn't matter. Pitch. I just want to stress that as much it matters. Deflection. It matters, Um, pausing so that is a great way to section into the next part, but so communication. 6. Breathing and Pausing: What breathing? I'm pausing. Thank you. Now, this is what will truly mayhew come across week Powerful. Okay, that all about your breathing, your pores and on how much communicate to you're speaking pattern. So let's jump straight in every find my moves. Um, I always say, for this part is the most underappreciated part of sub communication because, um seems sort of underwhelming, causing breath thick. You're some communication. Fix how powerful you can come across to somebody just pausing and breathe. So the main components of this is you're your speed, actually have been the wrong way around. The main components of this is actually causing breath. Think of Savannah, then your speed. Then you've got your cohesion on me code the usual. And that boils down to speaking. Okay, so this diving and talk about the reason and paused aspect. So as you all know, we need to breathe when we talk. Okay? You cannot talk forever. That comes inevitable point in your sentences where you will have to caught up your sin and breathe on. That's your poor Okay? No. A lot of us rush into what we're saying. Hey, may run out of breath. We still feel compelled to talk on, well, Russian. It's dumping over work. Why is the reason why someone wants may feel like this is imaginary time pressure a self imposed? Because you feel like the person won't have the attention span to listen to what you have to say long enough because you are somebody who shouldn't be listened subconsciously. That's what, um, Russian your would communicate. You may not think that about yourself, but so consciously, that is what it is communicating to other people on. Um, it's up communication. Even if you don't think that about yourself. If you perform bad communication, you will eventually think that about yourself is like a prophecy. You're doing an acting that subtle way. You naturally become certain it was important to do it as powerful as possible. And then you become. But we look at that at the end. Okay. Um, so imaginary kind pressure. Good. Um, you don't you feel like you don't have the time wars and breathe. You have to get everything that you're talking about out as quick as possible for lessons loses. Interest is what you're saying is effective when you find, like, a lot of intelligent people who think fast rush over the work. Okay, Time to create this environment with and not taking time to breathe that rifling the next word trying to rush it. One trying to stress here you need to schools to breathe and that you incredibly powerful. It shows that you believe that you have the time to hold the conversation off, that no one's gonna interrupt you. And if they do, then you have your skills to combat that. So let's look so the way I like to teach about slowing down your word and adding we're not slowing down You would, um, about not rushing but slowing down enough that you your pauses for breath the well, I teach. This is with an analogy. Okay, sir, let's say you want to have great meal in the world, right? You've been checking, You've been checking website reviews and you finally found the highest rate restaurant in whichever country you. What makes the UK find a restaurant that's in the center of London is the highest rated restaurant in the whole. You I'm gonna go and eat there. It's amazing best meal I could have ever. But then I have to act. Is there anything better than that? New cannot have a meal better on that meal. That's a, um you looked at the years listing of movie. Okay. You want this year? Greatest movie experience you've ever had. Okay. And you're deciding On which one are you gonna enjoy the most out of this lineup of movies ? That would be really And you decided. You think? Okay, this one is gonna be the summer. Look, I'm going to go into this truly enjoy it. Gonna be the best thing. Best movie I've watched in the last 10 years. Then you go and watch it on. It's incredible. Can you have hard on experience? Better down that movie on. I like to argue that yes can have a movie experience that's better than an actual movie on a meal experience that's better than the meal, the route, your anticipation, some rights in that pound. Because it's important you're entous. It's a patient. I'm spending that correctly. Your anticipation Why you check in on these Web site reviews can imagine in your greater than one you will eventually have While you're looking. I want movie. You're gonna watch and enjoy the anticipation and thought, Okay, what could be in that movie? It's better than actually. How many times have you watched a movie trailer that was Tacuary? Okay, And then you go on, What? The movie and it doesn't hold up. Why? Cause that movie trailer has built up such an incredible anticipation off the end result. Within your mind, How many times do you walk into a restaurant or like a fat suit place? And you see an image of something amazing something through the opulent on a plate Jack own like uber eats Onda. Um, what's the other one deliver you'll see on every advertisement. Image will be the opulent picture there, you know it's taken photographer a good five minutes to an hour just to take that picture or select one because that image so the anticipation on that meal and makes you want them think oven create thoughts that go beyond possibilities of reality. That's how that powerful that's the patient. No, what is anticipation? A simple description I would you is simply causing, causing, allowing the other person a moment to anticipate what you're going to say. No, that with every pores that I'm adding right now into the conversation bill. Tiny bit. Oh, anticipation on frustration within yourself to get the can't you see dramas. They do this all the time. He shows award shows, he said of Reid in that name Straight away. And the award goes to La Blah, blah yourself, reading in, Straight Away they go. The award goes to pause. Then they say that they because in that pool you're able to create so much dissipation. So much drama, so much oration. Okay, so when you pause to Berea that actually adding moment of anticipation, which is so think about that in the past, you rushed your work and you 12 1000 words a minute and you rabbit id through your conversation topic that you actually have an interest in. You wouldn't be saying it otherwise, you said, in such a way that other people can't be invest to what you're saying. Not powerful. Look captivating when you slow down on those pauses, ads in the capitation, a captive ation that you've been seeking in your conversations for the longest time, seeking people to truly respect what you have to say, Well, we have to do was pulled, allow them captivate himself on. All of this is powerful. This is how you have your work. Reach is on B. No matter what you're communicate you could be talking about. Could be talking about artificial insemination. You could be talking about stringing up your guitar. You were talking about your love off, man. You can captivate people to something that day. I'm not naturally interested in. By the way you said it, you made interest. I'm linger on every single work. Now that then leads us into who? Losing all my notes here, Matt now leads us into speed. Now would speed this. I assumption you're speaking too fast. I feel like prove my last analogy. I've presented this assumption, Teoh you all as well. Um, speaking too fast Is weak lives on this. That isn't true. Nor is speaking Cruz slow. It doesn't live on this part. Most important thing causing again. So there are people who naturally speak. Do not change your natural speaking pattern. Simply those pool. You can't be speaking bastard back. No, cause that takes all the air out of your lungs. You can't project you can't be powerful and that you're not pausing. Is that a person's like on a roller coaster ride, and they don't even realize that you but take that time, have them appreciate stop moment each high and deep of that conversation. Okay, so you can actually talk really fast and communicate powerful E, if you add proposes, I'm trying right now to talk really fast. You can truly on the appreciate this underappreciated Appreciate this, but my natural speaking back, in fact, it's about yeah, yeah, but if I speak really fast But then I added the pauses. You can truly appreciate what is like to think fast and have it be part simply because you added in those forces are incredibly used on that Now leads us to cohesion when you speak. Okay, so you have to have cohesion with a natural. Um, if you're someone that speaks fast, do you speak? In fact, don't forget the poses. Remember, you hold the conversation off. You can take your time with nobody's Russian. Some people doesn't actually speak fast because they think that that's not a bad thing. Me to think slow or speak slowly and lo fi sound among the people I speak very slowly love learning through sound. No, bad thing just aren't in appropriate that sometimes we have conversational topic that needs more needs, more speed. Okay, so sometimes jokes need them and more energy, so you have to speed up the pace of would just speak. So it's cohesion. Talking about confusion to speed that you naturally speak depend on which topic as well, and that creates speak. All speaking pattern is, is the process on which you speak? Do you speak like 3 to 4 words? Sheikh Farid forwards holes you naturally speak to would cause speak seven. Woods Poor speak two words. Pores. What is your natural? And you can see Right now mine is loved by blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So there'll be long moments off talking. Be a short pause in a short talking, then a slightly longer poor in back. And that's like my side. Yeah, it's We're trying to understand your cycle, Burke. It's very match. Don't forget. If it doesn't feel natural, it's not cohesive with you or the conversation talking so unnatural would be, you say to cool, say, to who will say two more words. Four that would sound so that would sound something like this. It doesn't matter unless you're in the right environment. So you find, like, Shakespearean plays that they speak in that I am victim and Tammy of that style of writing goes hand in hand very well. With speaking like that, that down dot dot that down horses. So okay, did professor his love to you know? So it's like two syllables. The event is for the environment, so that's good to play to the structure. What's being said? Okay, which is not so structure. You want to use the conversation. Remember that on the structure that I use when I'm teaching, as opposed to when I'm talking with friends is ever so slight where the main thing is making sure that's not adding in those pauses, being conscious. But you're speaking back in, and then just beginning about, I'm having it being every once in a while, you will have to come back to it and remind add pauses to what you're saying. You need to breathe every breath taking now eject more because of how Long's work, which I talk about in my force, how long to work you need to have them. A certain amount of value. Object effectively. So that's the for for important, um, posing and breathing. Okay. Now for love, this stuff I'm teaching you will have to go deliver it a few times. Truly have it. Ray on, then. Okay, So one final analogy for when you feel rushed is think about when you have a red light, okay? As a pedestrian, and you want to cross the road to get to the other side. Okay, on. Right now, the it's on the red man. So you can't walk on all the cars going past. Okay. If you walked into that street, you get hit by a car, okay? Not a good idea. However, when it's your turn to walk. Okay. If a car decided to then speed through a red light or hit you, there will be some massive re precautions for that. Okay, so this is a lot like when you have the conversational floor. Okay? When you have the conversation of floor, you don't need to rush across the road, okay? Because the road is yours. That floor is yours. Okay. No lunch. Cool driver. We'll go through that red line, and if they did, don't be re precautions for that. Okay, In your case, you have the ability to tell the moth. Okay, that's a Reaper. Caution that somebody take in the conversation of floor that you hold. I remember you don't have to rush because the conversational floor is yours. So anybody who but into that is violating you. Okay. Violating your space and power. So make sure you caught into that on it Doesn't have to be a big thing. You just Hey, I was talking. Hey, I like to finish. You know, we all have, like, meetings and we're talking with on the professionals and everybody's button in left on riot . We may be having a meeting, a conference. You're saying something, and then somebody jumps in. Just a simple one second book. Let me finish up. Okay. When one thing that I hate seeing when people want to effectively not quite tell somebody off, but get that conversational floor back is that they have such a ego and push another world personal weight verbally. Okay, As you just heard me simply say one second. Charlie Bob Reader Sandra, whoever they are, one second let me just in a shop. It was so incredibly polite. It didn't have an eager on love people. They want to tell somebody something with an eager. So it becomes a com Casual request. We all deal with requests on a regular basis, but doesn't it comes from being a request to being antagonistic on being a tell off. Okay, No wants to feel like that. Told off. You know, we're all grown men and women, but the whole idea off again, the commission ation, all floor and controlling that conversational floor is something that we look at later. And Module three, which I call the tactical, took it to communication. Okay, Um, right now we're just one of focus completely on sub communication. Okay, But that's just a little tip, because I don't want people to feel like they have to invest into Module three is certainly worth well, if you find that you're an environment where you always have to contest your verbal power and contest with people of high powers. Well, so that's always useful. However, everything in this course will give you the basis on the standing off that so you don't feel like you have to commit to something when much of one is so substantial anyway. Okay, so that's my last little on a boat. Full feeling rushed is your conversational floor. Take your time crossing that road. Okay, Take your time to finish. You find, um, like, going back to the analogy off the street. If you're crossing the road on somebody, you haven't got to the other side yet. The car, even though it's green for their and they won't coming through the street. Okay, so the conversation als Look, the floor is yours until you want to recruit Lynn Question. I can't remember that. So let's move on. 7. Eye Contact: Okay, So the next part of sub communication look at is I contact, which is incorrectly. I will say you cannot be connection with If you do not have that, we're going to go through and completely understand it. So, for on contact, we've got, um, understanding, interest, off eye contact, understanding you're in connection, um, understanding my contact when it comes to be neutrals. Yeah, Rome on. Understand that contact comes to how will. Okay, so those are the main four topics that we're going to dive into the eye contact. So the first being interest. So quite obviously your eye contact demonstrates where your interest is going. I often like to play a little game. I advise you trying. This is Well, when you're having a conversation with somebody, they're up to something on, see if they for your game nine times out of 10. Therefore, the U. K's immediately not only shows what your interest is, you can know. So, um, guy Rick, other people's interest with your eyes so often people feel that looking away from somebody who's holding you a sign of weakness, actually see, like boxes always high hold, like like, yeah, I'm ready let's do it. But then you have some boxes that don't look, Don't hold eye contact. Axel. Yes? You know, you don't see that personal weakened. Why is that? I was looking away. Doesn't naturally show weakness. It shows same way looking at something. Showed you interest in that away from that thing shows that interest that shifted. We have no interest in math, Rick. So folks in just look demonstrating have no interest in this fight. Looks like that they're going to go into um, sir, when you look at somebody, you're showing them that you have an interest in them and they also showing that they have an interest in you station. So this is why bills connection, that you show interest, you cannot build connection in a way. Can I ask somebody a question? Yeah. Okay. Right now, even though I'm talking on what I'm saying, right. Of course, there's still home for you to truly pretty shape that I know show an interest in you. So now this brings us to connection. Man is hard to hide your thoughts when you gays and staring winds and holding that How cool . And since I'm going on this journey myself, My own communications. I realized that holding eye contact. Why people say the eyes are gate way too. So well, you can truly see contention, All right? And it's incredible. And I also love holding my contact and see how they react. I could tell a lot about where that person thinks off me by how they hold away. I know. You know, I know when hospital about me. Because they can't really home on. I'm going on. The posted isn't a true friend. Okay, calling hold that can't action. You have? Yeah, and good. I couldn't Danny, Connection. Hot friends, Any loss, you have somebody, right? Build that You somebody a question? Um, look away. Well, asking that question on received an just such a, um, do with that connection and hope that I and if somebody hopes marriage towards you, you'll see it. If somebody appreciates you see through the And this is why I also say that I contact is rarely We find that provoked eye contact one of right on the steep places around you either love or hate And these places where I hate and love activate, right? We're to place. Really? So the way you can dispel any ambiguity and show that it's coming from a place of love rather than hate. Really, Miley? Okay. When you hold that eye contact, have you given introductory smile, you know, smiling for the whole direction moving, But have you sometime backing special? Have it getting given a smile The spell that you okay, Like I said, Israeli. Do you want that? Like them? What do you want to show? Hey, I'm just in love to, uh, don't like like you, You know, um and yes, you can be new. However, that's not the right. Oh, that That is all that with a smile. How you use your face, Facial expressions. You what? This is why I always say, for people who have like the rest, right? Wasn't that of your guard? Go that people think that goes go an equal amount. Okay? Nothing wrong with a resting the face that is neutral. However, what makes it wrong is when you meet some could be a friend. Could be anybody you don't have. That smile already sends Nick now. Sometimes we want to show addictive. No women get did a hell of a lot. So It's like, you know, going to smile the hell are you that do you keep in the back of my mind? You want to build a actual connection with you? Will may that I with a smile I'm not revealed How I wouldn't heart Yeah, How show you have in a strange sheepish about holding somebody's gay gazes power You can stand up They're somebody's eyes And see how long their way You know you want gays? I was point to point on People are much more sort to the power power If somebody is able to hold that is no, no, that is how so movement any mountains that make sure power I could type greatest way of showing himself yet Look and appreciate it right on this. So, sir goes for the people. No. One thing I will say about my contact, uh, we'd situation to make crop up where you objective When you wait, learn to hold long. I can fire hold somebody like a long period of time. That's what I want you to take away. However, there rare situations where you don't I'm just gonna go with it quickly. So this moments where you may hold. Okay, so? So one of these moments would be showing interest. Be okay. Like I say, your eye contact says what your interest is going. Well, let's say you and a friend of walking down three talk with you. How do you mobile? It's wrecked. We walk in and give them inappropriate way. Making sure you Oh, your compromise. So trying show to invest. Now, let's reverse it about show in this interest joining his life. Asking them what? Why, I'm that usually Chris question You clearly just Oh, your icon, the appropriate the way shouldn't be to and shouldn't be shy about. 8. Smiling and other Facial Expressions: and lost. Mostly we have my favorite smile. Yeah, smiling isn't just about smile about the host facial expression Talking about something that that was okay. Using protest. That's so much. Communicate. We're people in your face and in your hands a little bit, but mostly in shin go a mile Somebody my I and you have a great morning. They have amazing morning. Won't believe they should. Mouth great to posted energy and expression, given you is competing telling the story you Russia allows in the share in the motion story but more um so let me tell you re off when I was doing some going door a business idea Younger. I remember going and they come out here? No. And the guy looks at me. Move me smile. And incredibly, I and that made my arrested They home? Yeah. Go just from that. That's Marlon. How I was I shed in back. So having a smile, sharing this seven, you're not somebody that take right. Be somebody. You give a smile. Yeah, and it give expression in your face. Yes. Okay. I question you are doing that. You're really no coming across. Who in your interest. So use your wow Russian rest with People are ready track, so make sure you have back positive in Spain. 9. Activation Techniques - How to Practice Sub Communication: Okay. The final part to self communication is understanding how it works. And this is something I like to call. All right. Privation, technique, court techniques. There on what I mean by this is let's look at a study that was done a while ago about smiling. This study, um, was conducted part of me. This study was conducted to see how forcing the smile would affect your emotions even if you weren't happy. Okay? And what this study found that people who weren't happy became happy through spake in a smile. Now, if you ever faked a smile, do you know how we'd and forced it feels OK? You're being fake. Okay, imagine you're just there on I advised to do this. Now just fake it slow. It feels incredibly weird. But over time through doing that, you do become happy. And once you become happy in that smile, no longer is weird or forced. Okay? There's the emotional response. It's what's driving that. Okay, now us smiling because you actually feel happy. Okay, You have done activity. It's activated the emotion, and thus the emotion fuels the activity. Okay, so let's look at and not a study that was done on skydivers. So there's two groups of skydiving Sky divers find me. Group A was towed to just jump whenever they felt like it. Okay, Group B was told to hold this stance. Okay, What they found was group B After holding that stance for 30 seconds, Have a lot more courage and enthusiasm to jump. And it was found like group B jumped. I think it was something like in 30 seconds. After holding that pose, they jumped within 30 seconds. Okay. However, to repay some of them half on hour later, still havent jumped. Okay, So what does this mean? This stance is a stance off celebration. People who are aligned when they celebrate do this stance. OK? It means that it's something that's built into you as a human. Fundamentally. Okay, So what happened to Group B is that they had done the action. Okay. May have felt forced. Try right now. Do this. Yeah, celebrate a reaction. Feels so forced bath alot while you feel really good and incredibly pump. Okay. That emotional pump, feeling those good emotions drove the action to jump. Okay, What you find is that you first start with the action. Okay, on the action, he's forced. It feels weed. Okay. Does not feel natural with yourself. Then that action activates the emotion. Then the emotion. Okay, the emotion fuels the action. And then let's do one last arrow. And then it is not we it but natural. Okay, So what I want you to understand from this is that doing these actions of sub communication holding killer eye contact, having a powerful stance, standing when your chest up, holding your head straight forward. Okay. Taking pauses when necessary. On incompetent everything that I've just gone through through this, I think there may be an hour to to our course to win this if you haven't done it before, will feel weird. However, understanding, activation technique. All of these fall underneath that same example that same equation that when you do the action for long enough, it invokes the emotion. Once he invoked the emotion of that is what fuels the action. So the end go. Okay. I want this to stick it. Everybody's head. The end Go. Okay. Is not the action. Okay? The action is not the end. Go is not what you're striving for. Yes, you may be standing with a stance, but you're not doing the action for the sake of doing the action. Okay, The end go is full. The emotion. Okay. So in a way, what kind of cheating? Because athletes, people off talent off any skill off any particular area or field go through years off positive reinforcements. Okay, so you will find Let's go back to example off a football player will stand up straight and talk with pauses. I'm be powerful with the sub communication, and that's not because of what they've done in life. Well, it is to a degree, but because those actions and those positive reinforcements have fueled the emotion on the motion is what fuels the action. Okay, so we're skipping completely through past having external forces give us positive feedback . So we have these emotions. We're creating these emotions in ourselves simply by doing the action. And if we do the actual long enough, we vote these emotions on, the action becomes powerful, natural and part of us, once you get to a place where the action feels natural, is very hard to lose that. And I want you to remember that okay is like a self fulfilling prophecy. The move. You display yourself as powerful, the more you fundamentally become powerful. The more you display yourself as captivated, attractive, showing all of these positive sub communications, the more people will gravitate to you. For that and more, you will naturally become that where it isn't a thought. You don't have to think. Oh, right now fidgeted. Okay, Let me like like the gentleman on the screen said, Let me direct my nervous energy away and enter power pose Okay, after, Well, that will simply become you like it has for me the last five years. Okay, we all have moments off having goods up communication on the really awful sub communication , because we're not conscious of it to train ourselves to always have good sub communication . So I found with myself and I guarantee for 9% of the people watching this is that throughout their life that have moments when they have incredible fun with friends and they have some situations where they have not been able to achieve a great result with people, um, or people have some bosses. They have a great boss worker relationship, or you might be a boss and you have a great boss worker relationship them to other people and at some time in your life, you realize, actually, you don't have that. Okay, the reason for this is that out of those points, um, when you felt good, you had the emotions, and these emotions powered the powerful, positive, effective sub communication. Okay. And when you didn't have those emotions Boston down. So we're skipping through that whole process completely. Teaching the physicality and the physicality is what draws out these emotions. Activate these emotions. Okay, so I know for a lot of you, it will feel weird doing this. It will feel way to begin with, but just know, holding it out will make it incredibly natural and add to your character to who you are. You will become powerful, charismatic on a captivating attractive to everybody. You meet in the same way footballer, a rapper, celebrity and athlete book writer. The same way that these people, charismatic on engaging you, will be equal, or maybe even better than them. When it comes to your sub communication on. That goes a long way to build in relationships, to build a friendships. The butin a better home life to building a better working environment. Okay, We need good communication for all of this on this is our foundation. So four through it and know that after a short period of time, it will become natural to your character on again. Because all of this takes time. Don't expect to get everything in a month, Okay? Work on holding eye contact for one week, two weeks a month. Once you get that down, go to the next thing. Work on taking nervous energy away from you do that until you feel happy with that. Okay? Some of us we can dive into everything. Sort out posture, sort out this nervous energy. Be a little bit louder with our voice. I'm holding eye contact. Smile winningly gauge people. Someone's can do that whole list easily. But for a lot of us, we have to take it one step at a time and have each thing become natural first before we move on to the next thing. So that's it from me for this course on sub communication on your body language, that's more do one. Please let me know how effective this is. Speed to your life in the long run. Okay. Send me email. I think you can come in on this video. I want to know what you all have taken from this. Okay, Before you even go into module to now, Module two will be coming out soon. Urging war too. Also, think about investing into it. We all won't have to maybe feel like, OK, I've got the basics down. I like this teacher. I want to learn more, Then jump into module to and jump into module three on. Let's go through everything. I understand your body language on your sub communication. There's a great, um, great foothold to understanding communication that you can go on. I release you into the wild. You can go on and learn on your own. Okay? Because you have the foundations down. However, for if you do want to progress teaching, then joined me. Module. What? Much of two? Economy module Three on. I think I'll have some advanced, um, conversational skills as well videos for the future. For, like a complete understanding off floor control. Andi, reality projection. Okay, which is something I love on. I think is as important as the fundamentals that I've just taught today. Yeah, that's it from me. I love to see you, Wharton. Next one on the hope your future's I've become just a little bit brighter through the help off this video.