Child Psychology; Neuroscience and Child Development for Parents | Ermin Dedic | Skillshare

Child Psychology; Neuroscience and Child Development for Parents

Ermin Dedic

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16 Lessons (1h 8m) View My Notes
    • 1. Introduction (same as preview video)

    • 2. The Theory of Psycho-social Development

    • 3. Serve and Return

    • 4. Practical Tips - Serve And Return

    • 5. Fuzzy Trace Theory and how it explains Cognitive Development

    • 6. Adolescent Risk Taking and the Prefrontal Cortex

    • 7. How to Take Advantage of Reinforcement

    • 8. The Danger of Unearned Rewards (Habituation and Expectations)

    • 9. Linguistic Cueing

    • 10. Does violent media lead to aggressive kids?

    • 11. What's the most ideal Parenting Style?

    • 12. How our Culture Impacts How we see our Parental Role

    • 13. Why some children grow up to prefer Violent Partners

    • 14. A Regimented Life takes TONS of Energy

    • 15. Heritable vs. Inherited

    • 16. Dopamine and Development


About This Class


If you enjoy the course, please leave a review/rating! Thanks!

It is not possible to have a true understanding of children and their behavior without understanding child development and neuroscience. Development is simply the understanding that we go through different stages after we are born, and each of these stages influences how we perceive the world, learn, encode things in memory, and so forth. Neuroscience focuses on studying the brain from the functional organization of cerebral systems and understanding neuro-chemical processes in the brain. I discuss memory, perception, learning, the prefrontal cortex, dopamine, and other neuroscience concepts that helps you understand why children behave the way they do.

The goal of the course is to cover the most important concepts, themes, and theories in psychology, and show how an understanding of neuroscience and the understanding of development, informs us about behavior.

Each lesson leaves you with an overall message, tips, advice, so you can utilize the concept/theme/theory covered. You will appreciate how culture, hormones, developmental stage, parenting styles, reinforcement, and other factors impact your child's development and behavior.


Note: If you have any doubts about your mental health, please see a psychiatrist or psychologist in your local community where you can get an in-depth assessment. This course is meant for informational purposes only. Do not attempt to diagnose yourself or your child based on the content here.

Ermin is a former Graduate student in Educational Psychology. Educational Psychology is a clinical specialization in psychology that attempts to apply psychological principles to answer education related questions (ie does my child have a learning disability?) and addresses mental health concerns in an educational context. (ie addressing anxiety, when it originates/impacts school). Ermin also has some clinical experience, and has taken a combined 50+ psychology courses at the undergrad and graduate level in Psychology.


1. Introduction (same as preview video): Hello, everyone. My name is German and I welcome you to this course. This course is all about child psychology. I have picked out the most important themes and concepts in the subject, and in each lesson I explain a particular theme. I explain a certain concept, and then I give you tips and advice on what this means for your child, those courses for parents. But it's also for anybody that's interested in child psychology. Feel free to ask any questions that you may have in the Q and A. So what are you waiting for? Register today and I'll see you around. 2. The Theory of Psycho-social Development: So one of the theories that still has a lot of sway in the psychological community is the theory off psychosocial development. And this is by a developmental psychologist named Eric Erickson. He's the one that came up with it, and he came up with these different stages of life, and I've included the stages up to early adulthood. There are, I believe, two more stages that I didn't include, because this is a course that's focusing, of course, on Children, Children more broadly speaking, up to 18 years old or so. So when we talk about psychosocial development, we're talking about how does the individual persons psychology get impacted by their social environment? So the first stage is thief first year of life that he outlined, and he says the main crisis during that first year of life is trust versus mistrust. And he says, if you get a favorable outcome, you have faith in the environment and future events, and if its unfavorable, you begin to be a person that has suspicion, fear of future events and so forth. So this is going back to the importance, of course, of attachment of a child to their caretaker. So does. Do the parents, and especially the mother, react when in the first year of life, the child cries and has a specific need? Are those needs met? Are they being bet? Are they being changed? Are they being touched? Which is very important. Mother's touch is very important for a child, but the main thing is, are there needs being met or are they being ignored? So the idea that he says, is, if you're not getting the attention that you need from your parents and your being ignored , you learn already in the first year of life to mistrust. And it makes a lot of sense, right, because if you can't trust your caretakers, which is often your biological mother or biological father, if you can trust them, who can you trust now, in my experience, from speaking to people outside of psychology, one thing I've heard a lot is this surprise and amazement that Children so young could learn to trust and mistrust others. Ah, lot of us again, especially I find, if you haven't studied psychology, is this feeling that you can really only learn trust and mistrust and autonomy and initiative and guilt when you're old enoughto have the cognitive capability to think and reason and make judgments and all that fun stuff. But not really think of our pats. Think of our dogs and our cats. They can certainly learn to trust, and some of them have more autonomy unless it on me and they don't have the cognitive capabilities that humans have. So the way that it works is especially in the first year of life. Children are very much about sensory motor learning, so they use other senses, their hearing, their scene touch all that stuff is very, very important, especially around the 1st 2 years of life. Children of that stage left touch things. They love to see things. They get very afraid off small noises. That's because at that point they're learning is very much sensory motor. And that is why, even though a child does not understand, let's say parents fighting, they don't need to understand what the parents are fighting about. The noise itself, loud noises going to be scary. And if the child is constantly hearing this fighting, hearing these loud noises from the parents, there's riel changes to the development of the brain, so you have things like stress hormones being released. If it's constant fighting, while your child is gonna have constant stress hormone going through their system and it's going to impact their development, that development earth their brain in a negative way. So it has riel ramifications moving on to the second stage, which the main crisis is autonomy versus doubt. This is in the second year of life. The favorable outcome is a sense of self control and adequacy, or the unfavourable feelings of shame and self doubt. 30 50 years, which is the third stage of the main crisis being initiative versus guilt. So does your child have the ability to be a self starter to initiate one's own activities? Or do they feel a sense of guilt and in adequacy to be on one's own? The main tip here is when your child understands the task becomes capable of doing something by themselves. Even if it takes them longer, of course, is going to take them longer to tie their shoes than if you did it for them. But this constant doing it for them when they've already obtained a skill you taught them, they're able to now do it if you constantly do it for them, they're not going to learn initiative. They're not going toe. Learn autonomy and you might be tying their shoes when they're 30. Okay, well, maybe not 30. But you know, this is what happens. And again, I think the reason that parents don't tend to do this is Number one. Of course, it's going to take them longer to put their shirt on than if you did it for them. So sometimes it's just, you know, we don't have a lot of time, especially in today's world, to do those things. But it's really, really important that they start doing something if they're able to. Really. The same advice is given when you're taking care off your ailing parents. While it's sad to look at A you know, a parent that can't do a lot of things, there are certain things that they can do. And if you do the things that they can actually do, you're taking away any kind of good feeling that they have about themselves. So you don't want to take that away from them, let them do what they can do. But again, sometimes the other problem is that sometimes parents think, well, they don't need to do this for themselves. They're still kids. Let them let them just have fine. I'll do it for them. When they get old enough, they'll start doing it themselves. Well, that's the problem. They won't start doing it themselves because for their whole life, especially in these early stages, you did it for them. So that's really important to keep in mind that state's sixth year to puberty On Main Crisis, he says, this industry versus inferiority again, favorable outcome, ability to learn how things work to understand and organize, or a sense of inferiority at understanding and organizing adolescence. That great time, of course, for help parents, he says. The main crisis is identity versus confusion. So the favorable outcome is seeing oneself is a unique, an integrated person and the unfavorable outcome of confusion over who and what one really is. And finally, early adulthood. Main crisis Being intimacy versus isolation. Does your child have the ability to make commitments to others toe love? Or do they have an inability to form affection, relationships 3. Serve and Return: all right. So I'm gonna talk both served in return in this lecture, and I'm gonna talk more about the research behind this concept that comes from developmental psychology. And in the second lecture, I'm gonna actually give you some practical tips as well. But there's a lot of studies behind this concept that is proving that there's a lot of merit to it. There's brain imaging studies and other technologies that have also been used to study this , so the information is pretty clear up. One of the studies showed that Children who experienced more conversational turns so conversational turns is simply they had more back and forth. Reciprocal interaction with the parent exhibited greater activation in the left inferior frontal regions. This is also known as Broca's area during language processing, which explain nearly half the relationship between Children's language exposure and verbal abilities. So, just to explain this in non scientific jargon, as it can be sometimes difficult to understand what these studies air really saying. But it's saying here is that nearly half of the variants, or the variety between Children when it comes to the outcome, which in this case is the verbal abilities of a child come down to the exposure toe language that the child has in particular in this case, how maney conversational turns there are between the parent and the child. Now, before we take a look at another study, the implicit assumption when people talk about servant return is that parents are very sensitive to the needs of their child. So they are very prompt when a child signals that they need something and they also deliver an adequate response. So in line with that, there was a study that showed that sensitive parental care characterized by prompted adequate response to the child signals and needs predictor, more secure attachment relationship, higher levels of cognitive competence and fewer psychological problems. Now, while there are many more studies that support the idea off servant return, I do think one of the better ways to really appreciate this is watching a video. And it's of the still face experiment, a very well known experiment in psychology by Dr Edward Tronic. And I've added that in the resources it's a YouTube video and it really does a fantastic job of showing you what happens when a parents is not sensitive to the needs of their child . So I won't go and spoil this for you. Go ahead and watch it. And please let me know what you think about this experiment in the Q and A. 4. Practical Tips - Serve And Return: So this video will be about giving some actual practical tips. So your serve and return game is on point. The first thing that you want to do is you want to be paying attention so that you actually notice the serve of your child so you can actually react to it. So you might be asking yourself, What's an example? All these serve well. Is your child pointing at something? Are they looking at something? Are they making a facial expression? May be a sound moving those little arms and legs, all of that as a serving. You want to be paying attention as much as possible so you can return that serve. Of course. Totally. Take it easy on yourself. You can't be doing this all the time. You have other responsibilities, but the key is try your best. And one of the reasons it's really important to pay attention to these kinds of things is you get toe, learn about your child. What are they interested in? What did they need? What kind of abilities do do they have? And it really there's also strengthen the bond that you have, so when you're returning that serve, you want to be encouraging. You want to be supportive. You can give your child a hug. Some gentle words. You can help them if they're pointing to something, maybe because they wanted. So you're acknowledging that they want the thing and you're helping them get it. You can play with them if that's what they're pointing to. Maybe they want you to play with them in any way. You just want acknowledge them, even if it's just a sound or a facial expression. All of that stuff matters. And don't think that it's useless to use specific words and make connections. When your child is doing something or seeing something, if they're pointing to your leg, you can say Yes, this is Mommy's Lake or this is Daddy's Lake. So even though they can't talk or even understand those words, studies have found that language helps them make those connections. Another thing that's really good to keep in mind is that let's say every time you return a serve of your child, give the child a chance to respond. This is going to teach them self control, how to get along with others, take turns, they get to develop their confidence, their independence and their own ideas. Of course, Sometimes we want rush and help them do that thing, but let them do it. And finally, just be aware. When a child wants to start a certain activity and when they want to end it, you're gonna see certain signals for that. You know, you might see a child pick up a new toy, so maybe they didn't want to play with the other one anymore. They want a new one. They may just drop the toy, get up and go somewhere else. So they might just be done with that. And you would continue your servant return maybe with something else at that point. And of course, if they're old enough, they just might say, all done with that and just move on. So just be cognisant when they are in the moment and they want to continue working on that and when they're done and they're ready to move on to something else, we don't want them to have too much frustration if they're done with something. But you're still continuing to return, so just make sure that you're aware of that as well 5. Fuzzy Trace Theory and how it explains Cognitive Development: now, another influential theory in psychology is called the Fuzzy Trace three. And one of the things that it helps us explain and predict is why adolescence is a time off risky behavior. Now what makes Fuzzy trace theory quite impressive is that it has both good explanatory power, so it can explain a lot of different phenomena quite well. And it also has predictive power. That is, when you set up experiments to test what the theory is trying to explain. The studies turn out to prove the theory right, and this is actually quite rare in the psychological world, where often theories have explanatory power so they can explain a lot of phenomena. But the problem is that when you do the experiments, it kind of gives you unclear answers. Or often they go against what the theory says. And the problem with a theory that explains something but doesn't predict is that there could always be alternative explanations off why something occurs. So that's why it's really important that a theory is also able to predict, and one of the areas that this theory has done a good job off predicting is why adolescents tend to take part in more risky behavior. And of course, it's not just one reason there's multiple reasons we're going to talk about some of the other reasons later on. Like the frontal court tax is, of course, very, very important when it comes to risky behavior in adolescence. So the way that they go about explaining and predicting risky adolescent behavior through their theory is to say, there's different kinds of memory. There is forbade in memory where we captured the exact words numbers or images included in a stimulus. So this would be a case of, let's say, remembering a statistic and remember remembering it 100% accurately, just the way that it is. So an example would be elected earlier. Teen son is on the Internet, and they see a statistic that says one out of 909 people get HIV on their first encounter. So if they capture exactly that, just that the actual stat that is one type off representation that we have in memory and it's referred to as verbatim now the big difference with the just representation is that it adds meaning and significance to the actual stimulus. So instead of just capturing the exact figure it puts meaning to it by saying, There's actually some risk of death from this. Let's say surgery or even HIV if it turns into AIDS long term, there some risk of death here. So that would be more like categorical just or not, just would be actually quantifying it even more, for example, saying low risk of death or medium risk of death or high risk of death. So the difference is that verbatim just captures the surface, while just actually looks at the deeper meaning and the significance of the information. Not surprisingly, what these guys proposed is that adolescents have more verbatim representations in their mind, and this is what causes a lot of the risky behavior in adolescence. So, in a sense, adolescence look at a stat. Let's again that HIV stat off one out of 909 probability of getting HIV during your first sexual activity. They look at that and they actually look at it more, with more logic and reasoning that adults in the sense that it's a really small percentage , that you would get HIV. So it's actually not crazy to have unprotected sex if that is in fact, a true stat, but it turns out, as you develop more, what happens is that you start looking at the significance off. What that information. That exact information one out of 909 actually means so adults start thinking, you know, this could lead to a slow, painful death. So just the thought of that makes adults, in some sense make the wiser decision. Or really, the better way to think of it is this is the reason why adults are more risk averse. They use just representations more. They use that intuitive understanding off the information more so. This is one major reason why adults are better at preventing catastrophic outcomes and why adolescents seem to get into these catastrophic situations so much more. 6. Adolescent Risk Taking and the Prefrontal Cortex: So why are a lot of teenagers so bad when it comes to risk assessment? Why do they take such bad risks? While I mentioned one of the reasons earlier on when I talked about the fuzzy trace theory , but another one is that a really important area that has to do with all kinds of executive functions? Things like decision making, judgment reasoning are all done in the frontal cortex, an area that does not actually fully mature and is the last area to mature at around your mid twenties. So this is one of the reasons why the teenager adolescent years are the most likely to result and your teenager killing someone or the them being killed by another young person to leave home, but also to do something extraordinary, like why your teenager is the most likely to come up with an invention of some kind, and I think it is really important to realize that risk taking is not always bad. It doesn't always lead to bad results, and it's not always a bad idea. Some terrific things have happened from experimentation. A lot of great inventions have happened because people were willing to do things that other people didn't do, and then, often by accident, they found an amazing invention that just changed society for good. Now what this also means is that your teen will listen to positive fax, and it's going toe likely influence their behavior. And if you give them negative information, it's not likely to back their behavior. So when you're approaching your child, keep in mind that you want whatever you're trying to get them to do whatever positive way you're trying to impact their behavior. You want a frame. It's still in a positive kind of way because it is more likely that they will take that information and make the change. Scaring Children really does not tend toe work, and there's so much research about this, so putting something in a negative way to an adolescent is not going to make them less likely to do it. 7. How to Take Advantage of Reinforcement: all right, so let's talk a little bit about opera conditioning and how this can help you out with your Children. So first of all, I'll put the definition on the screen. But operation conditioning is simply just a method of learning that occurs through rewards and punishments for behavior. So your child makes an association simply between a behavior and a consequence, and they learned this because it is consistent. So whenever they do a behavior, there's always a consequence following right. They're not gonna learn if the consequence doesn't always follow the behavior, but we'll get into the specifics in just a second. The main thing, though, to take out from operate conditioning is that you've got positive reinforcement. You've got negative reinforcement, and you have punishment. Now it's important to understand the both positive and negative reinforcement increase the likelihood off a behavior. They just do it in a different way. So in the case of positive reinforcement, you're adding something to increase the likelihood of a behavior. So let's say you say to your child that if they washed the dishes, they'll get a toy, or if they wash the dishes, they'll get to play for 30 minutes their favorite video game. So you're just adding the toy or the video game to increase the likelihood of that behavior . Negative reinforcement, on the other hand, is your removing something to increase the likelihood off their behavior. So maybe you say, Well, if you go to school every single day and you don't miss any days, then during the summer it's gonna be, ah, whole summer where you can decide what you want to do. Let's say usually you get to plan out their summer, and you get to dictate everything that they do during the summer. But in this case, you're removed. That thing that they hate and that is you controlling their summer and everything that they're going to dio. Instead, you say, Well, don't skip any days in in school this year, and your reward will be the removal of this thing that you hate during the summer where I get to control what you do. The other concept to keep in mind, of course, is punishment, and punishment also has a positive and negative, just like reinforcement. But I won't spend too much time on it, because really, the research shows that punishment is not that effective, and the main reason is not that effective is that you really lose an opportunity for there to be a teaching moment. You're not teaching the child what they should be doing. You're just punishing them. And that's the main reason, really. The punishment doesn't work. The best based on the research, is positive reinforcement to add something if your child does so, if you wash the dishes, you'll get this toy that you like. If you wash the dishes, you'll get to play video games for 30 minutes, so positive reinforcement over negative reinforcement but negative reinforcement over punishment. Now understanding how reinforcement works will not really help you unless you know how to apply it properly. So here's a few tips. So the first thing is you have to be consistent. So it takes a while for the child to learn the association between doing the behavior and the consequence. It's not gonna happen after you do it. Once they might stop for a while. You got to get back to it, but it's about consistency. You do this behavior. This is what happens. Be consistent. Don't expect it to work right away. Is the first step. The second tip is that when the behavior occurs, you have to give the consequence right away. If you are, let's at work and you are not there to see the bad behavior when you're actually at home. If you can't address it right, then do not do it later. So one of the problems is that parents will punish a child for a certain behavior hours after it's actually occurred. And in the mind of a child, especially a younger child, it's just the emotion of the event is gone For them. It happened hours ago. So if you especially if you yell at them and don't handle it very well, it's just not gonna be effective. So it's very important that as soon as the behaviour occurs that you don't like that you react to it right? That if you can't just leave it alone. Another thing to keep in mind is that the magnitude toe, which your react to something that they're doing has to be in proportion toe what they did . So you can't yell and react really, really angrily if what they did really doesn't warrant that level off reaction. So it really, the child has to feel that it's in line with what happened and, you know, especially if if the child hasn't learned a certain skill yet. You can't be too angry about it. It's important to correct it. But you have to keep your emotions in check and not go overboard, or it's just not going to be as effective. It's got a match, the behavior that actually occurred. You also have to be specific. Sometimes parents expect their Children to read their mind. Your child doesn't know what you're thinking. They're not psychic, most likely. So you have to be very, very specific, and especially if the child is younger, you also have to request one thing at a time, right? You don't say do this and this and this and this and this just one thing at a time, be specific, very important. It's also critical when your child does the wrong behavior that you correct them and you showed them what the right behavior is. So this is, as I mentioned often. What's so wrong about punishment is you're just punishing the kid, but there's no opportunity for them to learn. So this is the time to learn. When they do something wrong, you have to show them what is the correct way of doing this. And of course, you do it in a way where you're patient and you're not angry and all emotional. That's very important. Don't be also afraid to praise your kids. When they do something correctly, praise them. Don't just focus on the negative things that you do, so make sure you do that as well. If you keep these things in mind, just remember to stay consistent and you'll do a great job. 8. The Danger of Unearned Rewards (Habituation and Expectations): everyone hope you guys were having a great day in this video. I want to talk a little bit about the dangers off, giving your kids rewards that are unearned or over the top. Now there's really two main concepts that are important to understand about this. The 1st 1 is habituation and habituation is just the idea that nothing is really ever as good as the first time. And the reason that this system exists within us is so that we can finding new experiences rewarding. The other thing to understand is expectations. The expectations that we have about something play a big role in terms of the high or pleasure that we feel when we do a certain activity. So the first problem with giving your kids over the top or unearned rewards is that at least a greater habituation. So as an example, your kids will not be able to appreciate the more natural or simple or basic pleasures that happened in life. Let's say on a nice fall day, watching the leaves fall from the tree. Some people appreciate that a lot of people, because they've received something that was unearned a lot of the time they had so many over the top, unnatural in some sense, rewards that those simple things don't give them pleasure anymore. Now the other concept that's really important to understand is the expectations that we have about a certain activity or event. Our expectations about an activity or event have a lot to do with the pleasure that we receive from that event or activity. So if you haven't given your child unearned or over the top rewards, generally those types of Children go into some activity, going to some event with fairly low expectations or realistic expectations. So what ends up happening is they get a higher dopamine ergic activation so they get more dopamine in their system, and they feel more pleasure when they do that. Certain activity. On the other hand, if a child has been given over the top rewards, what happens is that they go into activities with an unrealistic expectations, very high expectations, and then the activity really never lives up to what they thought it was going to be. So they don't get pleasure from those activities. And just to end off this video, this is the reason why wealth doesn't necessarily lead to happiness because wealth allows us to consume and consume and consume. We can get anything that we want. But the problem is with that is that the more we consume, the hungrier that we get and all the simple stuff doesn't make us happy anymore. So it's really important, uh, when developing your Children when teaching them, it's important to understand that giving them things that they didn't earn is really not going to help them in the long term. 9. Linguistic Cueing : So what would you think if I told you that when hurricanes in the United States are given female names, they result in more deaths than when hurricanes are given male names? So why do you think this is the case? You might be surprised. How about if I said to you a drug has a 95% success rate? Would you take it? What if I said that the drug had a 5% death rate now realised that 95% success rate, or a 5% death rate, is the same information it's just presented to you in a different way? Well, these are examples of something that's referred to his linguistic queuing. And this is the idea that the way that we organize words the way that we say things has an impact on how we behave. So going back to that hurricane example, it turns out that the reason that there are more deaths when hurricanes were given female names is that for whatever reason, people take the hurricanes less seriously. For whatever reason, they don't think they're going to be quite as violent as a result of that. They stay home. They don't heed the warnings and this results into more deaths. So the main message here is really to be aware of how things air said, and how that can impact our Children's behavior. So maybe if you want your child to do something, always focus on the more positive aspect of that thing, then are the negatives. For example, you could say, Well, most kids that take this test, you know 90% of them pass and they do really well. You don't have to focus on the 10% you wouldn't say, Well, Onley 10% of the kids failed this test, so you don't have anything to worry about, right? So how we say things has an impact on our Children's behavior, and that's really something to take out of this. And the other thing that I wanted to mention is the fact that we can get impacted. Our behavior can get impacted subliminally. So there have been some studies, and one study in particular looked at subliminal cues, and what they did was they had a visual stimuli which was flashed for a few milliseconds, and that gets absorbed at the subconscious level before your brain has time to process it and interpreted. Now what did they flash on the screen? Well, for a few milliseconds, they flashed on the screen. Positive words versus negative words. So one group had the positive words for a few milliseconds. The other ones had the negative words. So 0.2 seconds is what it was. And it turned out that the positive word group, the group that got the positive words where then both groups were asked to exercise. And it turned out that the positive word group exercise significantly longer and by statistically significant, all I mean is that the chances that this happened due to chance so randomness is small, so this was likely a result off some really difference between these groups. 10. Does violent media lead to aggressive kids?: one of the big discussion topics Thes days is the role of violent media and child development in particular. The question really is. Does violent media cause violent Children? Is it to blame in part at least for all these school shootings that we see in the U. S. But also around the world? To a lesser extent, And the answer to that question is nuanced. Not surprisingly, this is the case in a lot of situations now. One of the main factors is the extent to which the portrayal of the violence is realistic. So the less realistic the portrayal of the violence is, the less impact it has with actual violence. Now, one of the interesting things that you'll see and what studies have shown is that Japanese kids actually view and take part in more violent immediate than American Children. Yet Japanese kids are less aggressive than American kids. So why? Well, there's three main factors. Number one. American kids tend to play, let's say violent video games alone more often. Second, Japanese kids rarely have a computer in their room, so Japanese kids often the computer will be in the living room, an area where their parents are around. So again, it's not so much about playing the violent video game. It's more. Are you also in their presence or near them when they're taking part in playing this game or watching this violent movie? Are you watching the movie with them? That's going to make a big difference as well. And the final factor is that when you look at Japanese violence in the media, it's more likely to have pro social themes. So the topic or the narrative off the media really does matter. Is it violence that leads to good things for society? Or is the message of the movie just really, really bad? Is the movie suggesting that the society is horrible and it needs to be overthrown by a vigilante? So even the content of the media matters? And on top of all this, what's really, really important to understand as well is, even if a child views violent media in the worst circumstances possible, so they are viewing it alone. The themes in the movie are not pro social, on and so forth. They're still not necessarily going to be violent. They still have to have a gene that would make them more likely tohave that aggressive trait. So that's all that stuff has to come together. So a child that doesn't have a trait that makes them naturally aggressive is not going to view violent media and be the one that ends up shooting up a school or whatever it may be. They have to. All these things have to actually combine to make it happen. 11. What's the most ideal Parenting Style?: All right, everyone, welcome to this video. Hope you are doing well in the city. I want to talk about parenting styles. There's really four main parenting styles. I'll spend most of my time talking about two of them because I think there's two that are very useful, and wine is more useful in a certain circumstance than another one. The two that are not that useful and I won't spend that much time talking about is number one just uninvolved parents. So these types of parents, they don't really discipline their Children. They don't really communicate much with their Children. They don't nurture their Children. They don't give their Children very many expectations, so I won't spend much time. I think you can all figure that that's not very healthy for a child's development, then you have somewhat similar is you've got the permissive parents, and it just so happens that it's not that they're not involved, but they are the opposite of strict. They just have no limits or rules for their Children. Children are left to figure things out on their own. The communication is often open, but they don't really give their Children direction, which is important. Of course, when they're very young, they do tend to be warm and nurturing. So they're warm, warm and nurturing that just don't really set any standards or rules and all of that. So the Children have so much to decide. They really do need sometimes, as we talked about, you know, sometimes corrective actions and so forth. So spend time talking about where I think most of you who have bought this course probably fit into most of your probably for most part authoritative parents and these air parents that are largely reasonable and nurturing. You set high, clear expectations. So again you give clear reasons behind certain rules and you explain head to a child. So you, in a sense, treat the child a bit like an adult in the sense that you think they actually deserve an explanation. And I think kids do deserve an explanation. You communicate frequently, but of course you make sure that it's a their level of understanding. You are generally nurturing and you set expectations, but there again, clear and you actually give a chance for your child to give you in. So I think in most cases this is without a doubt the most healthiest kind of parenting. And finally, there's authoritarians parenting, and this is especially common in non Western cultures, and here these parents tend to be their strict. There's very little negotiation. Punishment is often the way that Children are dealt with. As I mentioned in another video punishment is really not the best way to deal with things. Communication is mostly one way parent telling the child at least there is communication, so that's a good thing. But, you know, he should be the other way around to somewhat typically less nurturing. And expectations tend to be high. But again, there's little flexibility. They don't tend to ask their Children. What do you think about that? Do you like that and so forth? Now I think that authoritative parenting is the best. But I also think that it's a bit of a luxury. Where authoritarians parenting tends to happen is in places where it's not all that necessarily safe. So one of the reasons that parents take on this authoritarian style is that let's see if your child is not that safe in a particular environment, you feel like you have to do it for their own good. You have to tell them what to do because you know better. You've survived that environment. And if an environment is that sort of unsafe, this type of parenting really makes some sense as well, because you're just being very protective because you have a reason to be protective. So we shouldn't give too much judgement in especially those kinds of situations. Um, but really, the healthiest thing is authoritative. Parenting intends to do the best. It's a little give and go with their kids. You're giving them some input into decisions. You are being clear with them, and that goes a long way into developing. A child can succeed in all kinds of environments, and that's really the goal. 12. How our Culture Impacts How we see our Parental Role: So I want to start this video by making you ponder a question. So when you're playing with your Children, let's say your child is playing with a toy car or a toy Barbie. What is your focus during that time? Aside from them actually playing? Are you concerned with them learning how to share that car or that dull? Or are you focused on what a car actually s? Are you focused on showing them that cars have tires and making sure that they know that? Or are you focused on them understanding that certain accessories the Barbie has and so forth, So we often don't think about this kind of stuff? But this is very a much culturally context dependence. So in East Asia, for example, it is very common that the focus off that playing is almost wholly unshared ring. While in the West it's tends to be more about what is a car. What is a Barbie? What is the Barbie wearing? What is the car composed off and again? That's because, on average, Western societies tend to be more individualistic. The idea of sharing doesn't as easily enter our brain that that should be the point off the playing activity, while in East Asia, it's much more comment that sharing would be basically the activity when kids are playing. That would be the thing that would more commonly seem logical to them now. In Western society, we are also very much focused on doing so. We want our Children to do the activity, but we don't really focus very much on observing right. We don't sit back with our child very often and say, Well observed, What's going on around you? What's happening there was happening here that is much more common in East Asia, So it's much more about observing what's going on around their environment. Instead of being focused on doing the activity in the West as well. Parents often see themselves as teachers, right? So our job is to teach our kids all kinds of stuff. In East Asia, it's much more common or apparently just see themselves as more protectors, so they don't necessarily see their role as my job is to teach my kid. It's more like my job is to protect my child, and one other thing that you notice in west compared to East Asia is that in the West. We do value more high energy effect in East Asia is actually the opposite more there's more value to low arousal effect. And I think that is partly due to the fact that in East Asian cultures, often when a child is calm, it's kind of a sign off respect and that they are sort of calm and disciplined, and that is something that's very much more valued. So the main thing I really want you to take away from this lesson is that there are different perspectives to parenting based on the culture that we come from. And there's utility in both kinds of perspectives. There's utility and teaching our kids to Not on Lee be active and learn. Let's see how to play with toys. There's also utility and learning how you play with other kids, and not just how you play with other kids, not focusing just on sharing, but also the utility of observant. So maybe before you start playing, observe your environment. Who is around you? What are they doing 13. Why some children grow up to prefer Violent Partners: So one interesting question that I wanted to tackle in this video is Why do some Children grow into adults who prefer abusive partner? So we all know people who time after time seemed to choose partners that abused them in some way that are not nice to them in some way. I thought it be interesting to discuss this a little bit now, as is the case with most things. Of course, there are multiple reasons why this might be the case. In some case says, it's been historically suggested. Some people just do happen to have a really low self esteem. They don't think highly of themselves, so they accept, you know, any kind of partner in their life. Other times, maybe you had that kind of childhood yourself. So in a sense, it's It's what you know in a sense, what you think you deserve. So you go into a similar relationship when you're an adult. In some cases, people think well, since that was kind of your struggle of childhood, you are sort of trying to recreate it in adulthood and kind of try to solve all the issues that you had with your parent. Now with your new partner, so it's like it's a chance to go through that again. But this time you think you will be successful and you'll actually be able to make them be not abusive. But there's a more biological answer to this question. So one study looked at why this might be the case, and it turns out that when your mother is around you aversive things. So violence, for example, are actually reinforcing. So as long as the mom is there, violence is reinforcing, and it turns out the reason that this is reinforcing is is the Children don't produce thes stress hormones when the mom is around, even in cases when the mom is the one causing the aversive stimuli, when they're the ones causing the violence or being mean to you it when they're around the child. The child is not sick reading these stress hormones and the stress hormones are away for our body to say this is not good. I don't want any part of this. This is dangerous. I'm gonna be a wave away from it when you're around the mother. Apparently, these stress hormones don't get released. So what happens is this bad stuff. This aversive stuff becomes reinforcing its your biology, saying, Oh, this is okay. And it turns out that the reason for that is that it insurance that the brain continues to develop properly. So despite the bad stuff going on, it ensures that the brain continues to develop. So in some sense, the way to think about it is that in some way, the cost off developing a normal brain is to in a sense, be attracted to something that otherwise shouldn't be attractive and something that you shouldn't go after. 14. A Regimented Life takes TONS of Energy: So are you the type of person that likes everything to be ordered to be simple, so it can be predictable. Are you always looking for ways to make sure that something stressful doesn't happen? So you organize and organize and your Well, this is actually not a very good strategy, and it's not a very healthy strategy. People who have this regimented way of living have shown to, on average, have more stress hormone in their bloodstream and also elevated metabolism in the frontal cortex, which is an indicator off how hard your brain is having toe work. So brain is working harder, and there's more stress hormone in the blood stream. So what does this tell us? Why is it useful while it tells us that in an attempt to control everything in our environment, so it doesn't hurt us because we're scared? It turns out that it's highly stressful to try to control everything in our environment, so nothing bad happens to us, and some parents have this approach. They think that the way to really protect their child is to set everything up, organize everything meticulously to make sure that no bad event happens and really that is not the way to create a healthy child. The way to create a healthy child is to make them strong enough to be able to adapt to any kind of situation, to make them not freak out. If something happens, the goal is to make them ready to face that situation. 15. Heritable vs. Inherited: So in this video, I want to take a little time to talk about the difference between heritability and inheritance or a trait being heritable or inherited. A lot of people seem to confuse thes, so I'll also put the definitions up on the screen for you. So heritability is the toll amount of variation between individuals attributable to jeans, so heritability looks at the individual level. That is, it looks at how much variation between one person and another can be attributable to their genes. So, for example, I Q. How much variation can we attribute between different people so again individual level? That's attributable to jeans? So let's say we say 25%. So if we say there's 25% heritability were saying that 25% of the variation between person acts and person why can be attributed attributable to jeans now inherited, On the other hand, is a population level concept. So it looks at the whole group and it asks, How do genes influenced the average levels off a trait? So let's say the fact that we have by fingers per hand well, most of us have five fingers per hand, so this is highly inherited, the five fingers per hand. But heritability is very, very low because the variation among individuals among people is very low when it comes to fingers per hand. There will be some difference, of course, because some people are born with four. Some people lose them in accidents, but generally by fingers. The fingers per hand as a concept has a little heritability. Now, generally speaking, most of us are interested in really heritability because as human beings were more fascinated in terms of the differences that we see among people. But one thing to keep in mind is that heritability is often in studies. Psychological studies are often exaggerated, so they're higher, then they probably should be. And the reason for that is when scientists are studying something, they tend to study it in a very controlled environment. And they do this, of course, to control for extraneous factors. But this also has the effect of inflating the importance of heritability inflating how much variation there is among humans. And some recent studies have really illuminated this fact because they've shown that just changing the environment a little bit really changes the results that you get in a study. So another environment may regulate the gene totally differently, even a slightly different environment. So this makes understanding the true variation among people very, very hard to decipher. So you can sort of appreciate the difficulty of determining this in the next lecture. I'm gonna have an example. Example will be on depression. So I've just outlined some of the different factors that go really into dictating whether somebody is likely to get depression. 16. Dopamine and Development: all right, so let's talk about dopamine. So to begin with, what is dopamine? While dopamine is an organic chemical that functions as both a neurotransmitter and a hormone. Now most people are familiar with dopamine as a pleasure chemical that is in anticipation of a reward. Or when we get a specific reward, let's say a food that we love. We feel pleasure because dopamine is released and there's an increase in dopamine in our system. And while this explanation is true, it doesn't really tell us what we should do, how we should live life to get the most out of this chemical Now what is useful to know about Dopamine is that it turns out that if we perceive that a certain activity or a certain goal is a well calibrated risk, dopamine is increased in our system. In other words, if we feel that we have mastery over some activity, let's say we believe that we're a great cook and we worked hard to become a good cook, and we believe and we have confidence, and we have mastery in our cooking ability. Just the anticipation off cooking releases dopamine in our system. So let's think about that for a second. If you have confidence in your basketball skills, if you have confidence in your cooking skills, whatever it may be. Just the anticipation. Thinking about cooking on Saturday or thinking about playing basketball on the upcoming Saturday leads to an increase in dopamine in our system and as a result, the feeling off pleasure. So that is what mastery and getting confidence doing a certain skill does for us. So the point being, if we want to have a nice, consistent flow off this pleasure chemical, we have to have purpose in life. We have to have goals because when we have goals when we have purpose, we work in obtaining certain skills. And once we become really good at these skills, we get a dopamine hit from just anticipating doing the activity. We don't actually have to do the activity to get that hit. So when thinking about your Children's lives and how to set them up for success, think about the journey being 90% and the goal being 10% because when you really care about a certain activity, when you really care about a certain goal, you enjoy it. Day in and day out, you enjoy the journey of getting there. It's as fun or more rewarding than actually, let's say, finally getting that degree. The journey itself is fun. And this is how you stay mentally healthy, threw out a long period of time. I imagine on the other hand, if you were on Lee happy about getting that degree at the end, you hated the journey. You had no fun. You felt no mastery in it. The Onley thing that gave you a good feeling was actually getting that degree in holding it here ahead. You're only going to get that degree and get to celebrate one day. But that journey is much, much longer.