Charisma: Boost Your Charisma, Communication & Social Skills | Alain Wolf | Skillshare

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Charisma: Boost Your Charisma, Communication & Social Skills

teacher avatar Alain Wolf, Social Skills Consultant

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

15 Lessons (49m)
    • 1. Introduction + What You Will Learn

      1:09
    • 2. How To Use The Power Of Presence To Draw People Towards You

      5:25
    • 3. How To Use The Feeling Of Warmth To Be Charismatic

      5:11
    • 4. The Power Of Optimism

      4:50
    • 5. The Hidden Power Of Giving

      4:30
    • 6. How To Use The Power Of Your Voice

      4:38
    • 7. How To Be More Interesting

      4:37
    • 8. How To Be Liked

      3:47
    • 9. The Power Of Politeness

      1:12
    • 10. How To Remember Names

      2:45
    • 11. The Power Of Giving Compliments

      2:15
    • 12. Remove Low Value Behaviors

      1:35
    • 13. How To Maintain A Powerful Eye Contact

      2:51
    • 14. Smiling

      2:08
    • 15. Your Charismatic Body Language

      1:42
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About This Class

Boost Your Charisma, Become A Social Magnet & Boost Your Communication + Social Skills

Would you like to learn why some people are charismatic but most importantly how you can have more charisma using some simple techniques to be the most interesting person in the room?

Do you want to have that unfair advantage?

Boost your communication and social skills!

What if you could have more charisma during a job interview, become memorable when you approach people and even have comments like "who is this man/woman, he/she was really interesting and charismatic?"

There are charisma secrets and communication tools that everyone can learn and that are used by the world's charismatic people like Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, Brad Pitt and so on.

Everyone can boost their charisma skills and communication skills to become more socially successful.

This is what you'll discover in this course:

  • How to unleash your charisma

  • How to be more present

  • How to use the feeling of warmth

  • The power of optimism

  • How to give socially

  • How to be more interesting

  • How to be liked

  • How to remember names

  • Charismatic non verbal

I've coached thousands of people, from people who were really shy and had zero charisma to people who were already socially advanced. They all got great tools from my trainings because I go over all the basics again (so you can master them or learn them) and then I go over the advanced concepts (so you can have an edge over other people). 

Are you ready to boost your charisma and boost your social skills?

Are you ready? Enroll now!

Meet Your Teacher

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Alain Wolf

Social Skills Consultant

Teacher

 

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Transcripts

1. Introduction + What You Will Learn: Hi, let me ask you a question. Do you want to learn why some people have charisma? But most importantly, how you can initial charisma. We simple techniques and tips that I'm going to share this course so that you can become the most interesting person in the room. Hi, my name is around move, I'm associate skills consultants and I've already had more than 200 thousand people to develop better social skills. And now it's your turn. In this course, you will learn what is charisma? You, we're going to learn how you can activate charisma in yourself. How you can speak with confidence that you can maintain eye contact, how you can smile. You actually need to understand what is charisma and how you can have it. We're going to talk about how you can activate positive emotions in yourself so that others can feel it. You are going to understand how to be interesting, how to be liked, what are the things that you can say so that people will be drawn towards you. So in this course we're going to talk about charisma. So that at the end of this course, It's not something magical, but it's something that you can understand what it's about and so that you can work on it so that you can become more charismatic. So go ahead and roll in this course and let's start your transformation. 2. How To Use The Power Of Presence To Draw People Towards You: How to use the power of presence to draw people towards you. So charismatic people, they understood that presence. It means that being three aware to what's happening around you will impact your charisma. So what does it mean to be present? It means that you are fully there. You're not thinking about the past, you're not thinking about what happened, what you did, and you're not thinking about the future. You're not thinking about what to say, what you, what you are going to do in the future. Your lounge we like, you are not thinking about that. You're fully there yet fully listening. You are fully aware. You give your attention to the person and you are fully listening. And it's really difficult right now because we all have phones. And it's difficult for us to be present because we all have notifications that birds on our phones and we're not really there with the person. So advice number one is if you want to increase your level of charisma, increase your level of presence. So I don't, how can you do that? A practical advice is to put the sensations back in your body. It means that when you are not present, your focus is not on the sensations in your body, it's elsewhere. So the idea is to focus on, for example, the weight of your tongue. If you try it right now, and it gets a little bit weird, but let's try it right now. You focus on the weight of your tongue. If you do that, try now, can you think about your laundry, about the things you have to do next? No, it really puts the sensations back in your body and the focus in your biology. Another great way, great way is to focus on the sensations of your toes. If you do it right now, you may be, you will feel toes on the ground or in your shoes. And you will see that the sensations are back in your body and your level of presence is increased. So it means that when you are talking to someone and you're not really there, you actually present with that person. Remember, put the sensation, the weight of your tongue on your toes, start to feel your toes. And it can be also try to feel, for example, the back on your chair, the robot on the chair, you legs on the ground like tried to really put the sensations back in your body. Another great way also is to focus on the way you breathe. So for example, if you are not really present, you just take a few deep breaths. You relax and you purchase and say you put your sensations on hybrid zone tried to control higher risk, but you just observe your breath and by doing that, you will be present again. And even right now, I'm doing this exercise to illustrate that my level of President has totally increased. And other advice, it's about listening to the person fully listen to the person. Most people say, Oh, I can not be present with the person because I have to think about what to say next. And the fact that you have to think about what to say next, it because you're not fully listening to what the person is saying. So instead, I would like you to fully listen to what the person is saying and you're going to trust yourself, trust your judgment, trust yourself that you will come up with things to say, because you will be listening actually to what the person is saying. If you want to increase your level of presence, another great way, it's about meditating daily. It means that every day, I encourage you for 10 or 20 minutes. You're just going to take time for yourself. You're going to sit on a chair. And I'm going to illustrate how I do that. So I set an alarm clock to 20 minutes. And so I take my phone and I said, Okay, 20 minutes is going to ring in 20 minutes. I'll put it next to the chair. And I sit in front of a blank wall. And what I'm going to do is that I'm just going to stare at this blank wall. Nothing passionate here. You know, like I'm just looking at a blank wall. And I'm going just to focus on the way I breath. Another way to control it. I'm just going to observe it. So I'm going to put the sensations in my body. So I'm going to do that for one or two minutes. And then I'm going to scan my body. It means that I'm going to scan for the tensions in my body. It means that I will put my attention, I will start with on my toes and then I will go on, on my ankle, and then I will go on my legs, my bots, my stomach, and then and so on. And I would go to the head and I'm just going to scan the tension. I'm not going to try to release any tension. I just want to be aware of the tensions that there is. And I'm going to do that for a few minutes and then I'm just going to look at this blank wall. So I'm still looking at this blank wall. And I'm just going to say and I'm so I'm just going to let my mind go where it wants to go. And you will see that there we thought that would becoming coming in into your mind at the best way. And it's a psychologists that gave me this does tips. Is that when there is a thought in your head that enters your head, you just imagine that there is a cloud passing by and your thought is on the Cloud and it goes away. And that way it empties your mind. And if there are noises around you, there are parts of the experience. Accept the noises that are around you. And you will see if you do that over and over again, you level of presence will increase and so will your level of charisma. So this was the number one presence. 3. How To Use The Feeling Of Warmth To Be Charismatic: How to use the feeling of warmth to be charismatic. So studies have shown that warmth is a factor that helps with caries. Now, what does it mean? It means that when you are talking to someone, the other person will feel something warm about you. It may be that you are carrying with the other person. It may be you have a vibe that cares about the other person. It can be that your mindset has a warm component in it. It means that you have something friendly about yourself. In other words, you have something friendly about yourself. So how can you activate these warmth yourself? So the first thing to understand is that whatever you feel, the other person feels, it means that if you are stressed and nervous, the person will feel stress and nervousness. Because the communication between two people, only 7% are words. It means that 93 percent is the nonverbal. It means that it's the emotions. It's your posture, is your non, so it's the non-verbal, it's the tone of voice, your eye contact, the energy that you exchange with the other person and all the things. And they are all aligned with how you feel. So that's why if you take control about how you feel, you are going to be able to activate this feeling of warm. So how can you control how you feel? First, you focus, you put your attention on something that will trigger that emotion. So for example, right now if I think about something horrible in the world, how am I going to fulfill? I'm going to feel upset or stressed, not a great mood. But what if instead, I focused on a happy memory? If I do a try now and I focused on a happy memory, you can see I'm smiling and feeling happy inside. And that's the secret here. If you want to experience warmth in yourself, just remember memory. When you felt friendly and warmth. Maybe it was with someone you love, maybe it was with someone that you cared about. Like maybe you have a memory that you experienced these warmth and friendliness IMU. And the idea is when you approach someone, when you are talking to them for a few seconds, suggests remember this memory. And then it will activate this feeling of warmth, and then the other person will feel that. And it's really, really powerful. That's why I would like to say here that controlling how you feel. And I know it's not, it's not easy at first. But if you do that over and over again, you can go from someone who is too angry to someone who is calm, someone who is excited, someone who is depressed is 0 because I'm able to trigger these emotions because I have them associated with memories in the past, and I know how to activate them. So you're in control of your emotions and other, when you're an interaction like there is stress that all these emotions. But over if you do that over and over again, you are going to be able to control how you feel in interactions. And you're going to be able to activate this feeling of warmth and friendliness. Another thing that is really important is the mindset that you have about people. If you think that people are bad and Egypt's guess what? You will be working in a bar or in a social setting with the mindset of people are stupid people are Egypt and you are going to project that onto them. It means that people will sense that you vibe has something weird because you expect them to be stupid and Egypt. So you're going to connect with stupid people and people. That's how, that's how it works. You struggled connecting with the DAC, the great people that are positive, outgoing, that really encourage you to do great things. Because you have this negative mindset about people and charismatic people. They have a great mindset about people. I'm not there. I'm not telling you that everyone is friendly. The word is amazing. No, no, that's not what I'm saying. Undressing that maybe it's better to have a better mindset so that you can really connect with the people that you really want to connect to with and the people who are negative egos, but you're not going to connect with them. You're going to interact with them, but you're not going to connect with them. So that's why I encourage you to think about the mindset. The mindset that I have is like people are friendly and I can share my warmth and friendliness with them. People are friendly and I can share my warmth and friendliness with them. So it means that when I'm in a bar in a networking event and I want to approach someone. I just think, Oh, people are friendly and I can share my warmth and friendliness with them. And it puts me is a great vibe and have the right mindset. And when I approached them by vibe is charismatic and then people say, Oh Alan, you're charismatic and this is how it works. So you can see here the fitting of farms and finance is really important because it's really, really make a huge difference in the level of charisma that you have. 4. The Power Of Optimism: Charismatic people are more optimistic than other people. Charismatic people, they choose to see life with the glass half full instead of half empty. You can see here a situation is a situation and you can choose if you want to look at it positively or negatively. Let's say that for example, if you get fired from your job, most people, they will look at it. Negative omega was fired. Oh my God. What am I going to do? I deserve it, and they're going to interpret it negatively. But you also have the choice. If you choose to do interpreted positive, you can say, oh, finally, I, finally now I can really live my dream. I can build my own business. I can be my own boss. It was about time. And you can see here the situation is the same. It's just an interpretation that changes. And it's the same thing with life. If you see a situation, if you see someone looking at you and you say, Oh, this person is looking at me because my hair is horrible or oh my god, this person is looking at me because I'm a loser. It's interpretation that you have that is destroying your self-confidence and it's destroying your level of charisma. But if instead you say, Oh, this person is looking at me because maybe this person thinks I'm attractive or unsexy. The interpretation that you have about the world changes. And that's why charismatic people, they choose to see life more positively. It's not that this only see life positively and they forget about the negative things. No, it's just that they choose to interpret in to interpret life more positively. It just you imagine that you have two glasses. You can wear the red glasses. And if you wear the red glasses, you're going to see all the problems, everything that is going wrong, the wrong or bad in the world right now, all the problems, like all the things that you are not doing well. And if you wear the green glasses, you're going to see the opportunities, everything you did well, you're going to see people smiling at you, people complimenting you. And it's your choice right now, if you want to increase your level of charisma, you should see life more positive is see the glass half full instead of half empty. And this is going to impact people when you're going to talk to them. Because if you just say, oh, hey Frank, Yeah. What you did is not that great and you're always negative. You're not become, you're not going to become charismatic. So I encourage you to see the glass half full with the people that interact with. So it's important that when you talk with the people that you interact with, your always encourage them. You always tried to leave them better than you found them. You can compliment them. You can always encourage them to see the positive side about life. It means that they have this difficult situation. You can just tell them what's great about this interaction. You had been complaining for one hour, but what's great about that? What's great? That's what's great about the fact that you failed at building your business. Or maybe you learned so that you can build this other business that you truly want it in. Like in my case here, like the failures that I had, well awesome. I loved my failures. There were painful as hell, like it wasn't really, really painful. But I learned from them. And the more you are able to encourage people to say, Oh, what are the things, the positive things that are in the situation right now? You can encourage them to see the positive side and it will increase your charisma and who will help them find a solution. Because if they are always focused on the problems, they're not, they won't be able to find a solution. So try to help them see the bad side of things and see the positive outcome and show them that there is always a positive side. It's like when you flip a coin, there are two sides, two sides of that coin, and encouraged people to see the other side, the positive side. And another great question that you can ask people is once you're watching your control, if people say, Oh, I'm so stressed for this presentation and say, Hey, what's in your control? You don't control how people react to you. You control hieroglyph, the presentation. So instead of focusing on, I want everyone to like my presentation, focus on how can I give my best presentation? And this is the other, these are the pieces of advice that you can give people and you can see it will really, really make a difference. So encouraged people to see the glass half full instead of half empty. But first, you have to start seeing life as the glass half full instead of half empty. So practice today we see it will really make a big difference and it will increase your level of charisma. 5. The Hidden Power Of Giving: The hidden power of giving. If you want to increase your charisma, he must be a value given person. So let me ask you this question here. When you interact with people, are you valuing, giving person of value taking person, it means that do you give value? It can be verbally with the things that you say or non-verbally, for example, with the motions that you give, or are you someone who take things from the interaction? You take energy from the other person. You're always asking advice and giving nothing in return. Are you a value given person or a value taking person? So if you want to become a charismatic, It's important that you give value to other people. So how can you do that? The first way is verbally. It means that you can share information that is valuable to the other person. You can given advice, you can share your opinion. You can say something that will improve the other person's life. You can, for example, let's say that the person is looking for a restaurant where they can eat sushi and you know, the best place in town. You can tell them, Oh, you know what? In that place you can eat the best sushi is the name of the restaurant. The person says, or I'm looking for I'm looking for some amazing self-help books. Do you know any of them? Yeah, you can you can you can read that book. That book. That book. And it happened to me recently. I joined I joined a gym a few days ago and a coach that was there. He said, Oh, I just arrived here. I don't have an apartment yet. I'm just looking for like, I'm doing all the administrative stuff and, you know, like I'm just I'm just setting in and say, Hey, you know, like the best the best place to find apartments is on this website. You can go there, there, there. I just gave value. And you should have this value giving mindset. It's not that you are trying to solve everyone's problems. That's not what I'm saying, is just that you can throw some pieces of advice, of information, of things that you say that will increase the quality of life of the other person. And if you do that, you will see that people will like you any relief. And people will say, Oh, this person is charismatic because most people, they don't give Alice, they're always taking values. They don't give anything in return. And if you are someone who give value received, you will become a big success. Now, I'm not saying to judge other people. For example, if someone has a problem and you say, Oh, the solution is that you have to do that and then you judge the other person. Don't judge them. Otherwise, it's going to turn off that charisma. Okay. So this is, this was here, part number one, which is verbally how you can give to people. The second part is non-verbally. It's about the vibe that you have, the emotions that you have. So for example, you can, for example, tell a joke. I would say like telling a joke is more verbally. So you take that verbally. Saying a pellet joke is more verbally, but I would say the non-verbal, it's about sharing you a motion. Okay. So the idea is to always focus on a memory that triggers the emotion that you want to experience. For example, you want to experience positive emotions so that you can share these value with people. Focus on memory that made you happy. Focus on the memory that made you extend asic, focused on a memory that makes you super, super happy and passionate. And if you do that, and I can do it right now. I've had a really great energy. Now what if I approach people like that? Hey, my name is Allan. What's your name? You can see here that I have a better vibe. And it's all about what you focus on. So instead of focusing on, oh my god, this person is going to reject me or is this person going to like me? You say, oh no, no, I have to focus on a positive memory so that they can activate these positive emotions so that when you will interact with people by the law of whatever you feel, the other person fields. People will feel this positive energy and people who are giving this positive vibe will be categorized as value giving people. And you're going to become a big success people we say that you are charismatic, so don't be afraid to give value to people verbally or non-verbally. 6. How To Use The Power Of Your Voice: How to speak with more confidence. So charismatic people that are able to speak in a confident way. So how do they do that? First, the project, the voice, though not yelling, they're just projecting the voice. And there's a big difference with people who are not charismatic. Thank talk like that, taken want to be heard. They don't want to disturb people and charismatic people. They project their voice. And when you project your voice, it will project confidence. So how does it work? You just imagine that the person is one meter behind their actual position. It means that if you do adjust in front of you, imagine that there are one meter behind and talk a little bit louder. And this would be the right volume that you should have when you talk to people, you'll be able to project your voice. Now it's important that you understand voice tonality. It means that at the end of the sentences that you speak, the intonations, there are some good intonations and some bad intonations. The first one that most people have is trying for rapport. It means that at the end, the voice will go up, Hey, where are you from? Can I help you? And they will be always at trying for rapport. It means that at the end, the voice will go up. And this is really a behavior that is not attractive socially. So you will hear that when someone is not confident and they talk to someone of value, they talk to someone and they say, they think have a lot of value. So it means that, for instance, when you talk to, when you talk to a cop, or when you talk to your boss, or when you talk to someone that you meet and that's impress you. You may have this triumphal proportionality. So it's not that attractive. And I would like you to have more neutral. And this is the second type, a neutral. It's how I'm talking to you right now. My voice is not going up. It's neutral. It means that at the aimed, at the end, the intonation is neutral. Neutral. And neutral doesn't mean that it's without emotion. Certainly that hygiene be told me who is a lot of emotions, and then it's neutral. It just the end of the sentence that is neutral. And then the third one is breaking rapport, is for example, when the voice at the intonation at the end of the sentence go down. For example, Hey, where are you from? What do you do is when a cup, for example, arrest you or the pull you over and say, Hey, give me your paper, please. Our breaking rapport. I don't encourage you to use that because the person can feel that you are trying to address them, that you are trying to dominate them, and that's not a base, the best thing to do. So I encourage you to go with a more neutral voice. So how can you be aware of your voice? First thing we want you to just record it. It means that when you are home, you pretend that you're talking to your boss. You pretend that you are talking to this person at the bar. You pretend you're talking to this person at the networking event and you just record it. So I'm not saying to record yourself at at work or something. No, no, that's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying here, you record yourself home and then you listen to it and say, Okay, am I talking with a breaking rapport, neutral or trying for rapport? And another great way to be aware of that is to listen to people around you when you're at a restaurant or at a cafe. And if the tables are really close to each other, you can listen to what the other person is saying. And immediately you can say, is this person speaking with confidence? If the answer is yes, the person will be neutral and slightly breaking rapport. The person won't be trying for rapport because if someone is hey, can ask Can I ask you a question? What do you do way from when someone speaks like that is not someone who has confidence because the intonation is going up is a butler is trying for a pore instead of just being neutral with the other person. So this one here, which is really important to how to speak with confidence. And if you project your voice naturally, you will be in the right tone of voice. In that is neutral. Don't over-complicate things. Just project your voice and have confidence and faith in yourself. And you will increase your charisma. 7. How To Be More Interesting: How to be more interesting. So the first advice here is to put passion behind the words. For example, if you talk to people, okay, So today I woke up, I drank coffee. People want to say that you are charismatic. But now listen to this sentence here. So today I woke up and I drink my coffee. You can see it with this example here, that the first time I didn't have any passion, I didn't have any emotion behind the words. And the second time I had passion attached to the words. And you can see here that the second example was more charismatic than the first one. So why is that? Because people will perceive the words. And the words are only 7% in a communication between two people. But there is the 93 percent, which is the nonverbal parts. It means that if you throw emotions behind your words, people will captivate, will feel the emotions that you will understand the words that are only 7%. But then there will be also impacted by the emotions that are behind the words. So that's why it's really important that when you talk to people, you just add passion to what you are saying. And you could talk about the most boring things in the world. If you add passion, people will love it. And I tried it. I tried when approaching high-end clients at networking events, I would talk about the most boring stuff I could say, but literally the most boring stuff. I was talking about tomatoes. And I was closing high-end clients. And I was talking about tomatoes. I don't care about tomatoes. It's boring by talking about tomatoes like it's boring. But there was talking with so much passion about tomatoes. People felt dispassion and say, Oh, this person is passionate about, about tomatoes. And as the words are not that important because there are only 7%, they felt the 93 percent and this end. And then they had a great emotion that the felt create emotions because they felt my passion. So an exercise for you would be to, when you are home, you go in front of a blank wall and you share what happened during your day with passion. I want you to exaggerate it because I want you just to feel that you are able to throw passion behind the words. That you are in front of this blank wall. And you are just going to talk about what happened during the day. And you're going to add passion. I don't want you to say. Okay, so today I drove to work. I did my work and nothing happened. Now I want to say, Okay, so today I drove to my work, something happened and I was I was so stressed because I didn't understand what happened. And you can even use gesture to activate the charisma and the emotions that works really, really well. So you can see that, that works really well. If you want to be more interesting, is about you fill first the emotion of passion and about the fact that what you are saying is interesting and it can even fake it. Like I did with the tomatoes. You just add emotions. Because when I took two, I could add passion. I could add depression. I could add joy. I could be neutral. When you understand that a whole new words opens up because you understand that you are in control of the motion that you throw behind the words and how people will perceive that. And if you want to become more interesting, just become more interesting. Be like James Bond. And a great advice for that is take ten minutes a day and try to learn a new skill. You can go on YouTube, for example, or Google something for example, you want to learn how to change a tire. You want to learn how to cook something. You want to learn how to shoot videos, google it for 10 minutes a day, and learn a new skill. If you do that for every day, for a year, you're going to have three hundred and three hundred and sixty new skills the island and 65 new skills per year, which is really amazing. And you're going to be a more interesting person because you'd have more things to talk about and more dire, diverse things to talk about, which is really great and really cool when you talk to people. And that way, your charisma will increase. 8. How To Be Liked: How to be liked. So I would like to share here my technique that is really powerful. I am going to show you how you can be liked. So what do most people do? They ask the following questions. What do you do? Where are you from? And they took about negative things. They talk about what's going on, what's going on in the world right now. And you can see here that you're not really in control about it. You're not really controlling people are going to like you. Instead, I would like you to ask positive framed questions. So it means that instead of asking what is everything that is happening in the world right now? And that is horrible. If you ask this question, how is the person in front of you are going to feel? The person will feel negative emotions. The person will feel. Maybe it's the person would be upset, angry, and the person will feel negative emotions. When I talk about negative emotions. Emotions that are not empowering them is emotion that don't serve them to live a better life. Just not, not comfortable emotions, okay, That's when I talk about these negative emotions. But instead, you want to make them feel positive emotions. And if you are able, when you ask your questions to make the other person feel positive emotions in their body, they are going to associate this positive emotions with you because people don't remember what was said in an interaction there. Remember how they felt. If I asked you this question here, what was the first sentences that I said in this online training? I'm sure you don't remember, but right now, you are you are having an opinion about me. You are getting a feeling about me. Oh, I like this guy, I don't like this guy. I hope you like me. So what is really interesting is that people remember how they felt. So the key here is to ask the positive framed questions. It means that you're going to ask questions about their passions, their interests, projects that they did recently, and that made them proud. You're going to ask questions about the vacations, about what they like to do when they have free time. Because everyone likes talking about the passions and their interests, the things that excite them. So if you talk about that, if you ask questions, the person, the person that is in front of you is going to generate this positive emotions. And if you talk about that, depression is going to say, Oh, I had a really great interaction with that person. And you can see here that you can become a big success with the strategy here. So think about the questions that you could ask people that are positively framed. For a four, for example, when I was studying at university, I had a friend who has really popular and I analyze why he was charismatic. And most people were talking about the exams, about the stress, like all the negative stuff. And my friend, she was asking questions about vacations, about what they enjoyed this year, like the relationships they had. It was a choice. He was not asking the boring question that we are leading to negative responses. In other people, he was asking questions framed positively. Some people say island, you are manipulating people. I'm not, I'm just making a choice that instead of asking What's going on in the world right now, that is horrible. I prefer asking, what are you passionate about? It, just a choice that I make. And if you do that, you're going to become a big success because people will be able to feel your charisma and to see you as a more charismatic person. 9. The Power Of Politeness: The power of politeness. If you want to increase the level of charisma, it's important that you increase your politeness. So don't be afraid to say thank you. Excuse me, please. When I was having dinner with Brian Tracy in Stockholm, he told me Allen, people in my company, they loved me. And then I start asking question. What do you think? Do you do? That makes them laugh. And he said, I'm always thanking them. I'm always polite. I'm always asking please. And I'm always showing appreciation. It means that when someone did their work and the delete well, they did disfavor from me. I'm always saying thank him, saying, Oh, thank you for your work. You did a great work. Thank you for, for for showing up. Thank you for doing that. Thank you. I really loved your presentation. He's always complementing people. And you can see that if you make the other person feel good about themselves in an authentic way, it's not in a forced way. People are going to love you and you're going to, you're going to become a charismatic. So think about that. How can you show more appreciation to people around you? And if you do that, you're going to become a big success. 10. How To Remember Names: How can you remember names? So people who are charismatic, they tend to use the other person's name often in the conversation. So who are the people who call you by your name and conversations? It's people who are close, can be your friends and family. It's people that you have a deep connection with. So you can use that as your advantage. It means that when you meet someone and they give you their name, you can use this name often in the conversation so that the person will feel a feeling of connection and that helps you boost your charisma. But how do you do it if you are really bad at names? And a few years ago, I was really bad at names. People who tell me the names that I had no idea. I would repeat many times and I would just forget. So I'd like to show you here a few techniques that I use now and that I don't forget names anymore. The first one is about associating the name that the person gave you with someone that you know. So for example, if the person says, Oh, my name is Mark, I'm going to associate the face of the person in front of me with the face of my friends from university that is called Mark. And I'm going to do that for a few seconds. So that next time that I see the person I associate IS as I associated the face with my friend Mark. And I know that the person is mark. That works really, really well. Another great way is about really listening to what the person is saying. Don't think about what to say next or other things. If the person says Donate, oh, my name is Sonya, my name is Mark, My name is Frank. Just listen to the information because then the information can enter your brain and you can remember it. Another great way is about using the name as soon as possible. For example, if the person says, Oh, my name is Mark, you can say, Nice to meet you mark. And then a few sentence later, you can ask a question, say, Where are you from? Mark, Use the name often so that you don't forget it. Another great ways about repeating the name in your brain. It means that when someone says My name is Mark, you're just going to repeat and it's going you're not going to say that out loud. You're going to say merc, merc, merc, merc, merc, merc, merc, just that your brain can remember. And if use these techniques here, you will see that it will be easier for you to remember names and you're going to become more charismatic if you use the names of the person more often. And it's really rare to have people that use the name often in conversations. And you are going to stand out and you're going to become interesting and charismatic. So do that. 11. The Power Of Giving Compliments: The power of giving compliments. So if you want to have more charisma, it's important that you give compliments. It means that you tell people what you like about themselves, about their looks, about their behaviors, about the way they show up. And you just, you're just going to say that. So it's important that when you give compliments, you give them in an authentic way. Because I'm sure that you had a compliment in the past and it backfired. It means that someone gave you a compliment and he said, This person is not authentic and it made the opposite. It means that instead of making you feel good about yourself, it made you feel bad about yourself or about the situation. So it's important that when you give a compliment, you give a compliment because you want to give it because it's authentic. What can you complements people on? You can compliment people on their behaviors, on their looks, on things that they did, for example. So for example, if you complements people on their looks, tried to be careful here if it's more like a personal situation or professional situation, is it more like a seduction setting? Or is it more like a casual conversation? You should use common sense to see to which extent you can compliment people on their looks. But the more precise you are of the complement, the better it is. For example, if you want to complement a woman and you just say, oh you the Q tonight. The complements is generic. It means that you could say that to every woman. But if you say, Oh, you look here tonight because I really like how you breath out, how your how you dress matches your, your eyes or how you dress matches your bracelet. It's more precise, it's more specific. So it helps the more precise you can be. And then he can complements people on their behavior. Hi, I'm hi, my name is Alan. I just wanted to say hi because you look friendly because I really liked the presentation that you give. By the way, the presentation that you gave before was amazing. By the way, how you reacted before was really great. You can appreciate people and get compliments. So becomes someone who is used to getting compliments. And you will see that your level of charisma will increase. 12. Remove Low Value Behaviors: It's important to remove low value behaviors. So if you want to increase your charisma, you can have the techniques that will boost it, but it's also important to remove the things that are killing it. So think about the behaviors that you have in your life when you interact with people. Where they are comments in the past that people told you are what you, what you're doing here is not greater, is not attractive. Baby, you don't have a good hygiene. Maybe there is something that you do with your hands that feels weird. Maybe there is something that you do with the, with the way you look at people. Maybe there's something that you do that is not attractive socially. And if people commented, commented on the past and is something that you want to improve, do it. So how can you remove the low-value behaviors? To know what they are? You can ask people around you. You can say, oh, I'm trying to remove three low value behaviors that I have. Could you help me? 13. How To Maintain A Powerful Eye Contact: Now let's talk about eye contact. How can you look people in the eyes? So it's important to understand that charismatic people, they know how to use the power of maintaining eye contact. Because we say that the eyes are the windows of the soul. It means that you are able to convey emotions. So how can you maintain eye contact if you are shy, for example? So a great advice that someone gave me is that you can look at the outgrowths instead of the ice and you won't notice the difference. When my friend told me that as a no way I'm going to notice the difference. And he said, let's try it. So we did it. He he didn't tell me if he was looking into my eyes or at my eyebrows. And he and I was not able to tell the difference. So it's a great tip if you want to increase your level of comfort and make the other person thinks that you are looking directly into the eyes. You just look at the eyebrows instead of the eyes. And yes, you want on the long-term to be able to look people directly into the eyes. But that can be a great starting point. So try that if you are a little bit shy and if you are more comfortable and you want to look people in the eyes, what you can do is when you're talking to them, you try to maintain eye contact. It means that most of the time you'll be looking at them when they are talking. You will be looking at them. And 70, 80% of the time, you just look at them. You don't look at them with a creepy, creepy phase or weird face. Now, you just look at them with a relaxed phase. And it's normal that some people will be uncomfortable if you look at them too much. So what you can do is that when you feel that the person is a little bit uncomfortable, you just break the eye contact to the right or to the left. Don't look down because it shows that the person is more dominant than you. You just break it to the right or to the left. And most of the time when this person is talking, you look directly into the eyes and when you are talking, try to maintain eye contact. But most of the time, your eyes will go into two different directions. It's something that is normal. It's because your eyes have to access information that are stored in your brain. So as you have seen here when I'm talking and not just looking at the camera and not moving. Because for me it's really difficult to know what I'm going to say. It's just that my eyes will go up, down to access some information, but most of the time I will be looking directly at them. So don't over-complicate it. Just look into the eyes. And if you're not that comfortable, you can look at their eyebrows instead. And that works really, really well. 14. Smiling: Now let's talk about smiling. If you want to increase your level of charisma, it's important that you smile more often. So now there is the right way to smile and there is the wrong way to spine. Let's start with the way that is not that attractive. If you are smiling because you want to make an impression. You want to get something from the other person. You can think about the cheesy salesman that really wants to sell you discard. He's laughing at all your jokes. He wants your money, he wants, he wants you to like him, like he wants something from you. And you can see that the way he smiles, not authentic is forced. And this is the way that it's not attractive. And some people do that because they really want the approval of the other person. They really want the other person to like them and they smile too much. The smile it's forced is because they want to make an impression. And I did that a long time. I was trying to get other people's approval. And I was smiling too much because this is not because I wanted to smile, but because I wanted to make an impression. And then I switched to the right way to smile, which is expressing your inner smile. You smile because you want to smile. You smile because you are happy. You smile not to make an impression because you bought you, because you want to share your inner fire, your inner smile with the other person. And it will be completely different. You want to be smiling to make an impression. You'd be smiling because it's an expression of yourself. The distinction is really small, but it really makes a huge difference. To understand that better. When you look at people in restaurants, cafes, when they smile, ask yourself this question here. Are there smiling to make an impression? Or are they smiling to express themselves? Does it come from an expression? Or does it come because they want an impression? They want something from the other person. The more you are able to smile from within. It means that smile because you want to express yourself the most success you're going to have, and the more charismatic you are going to become. 15. Your Charismatic Body Language: Now let's talk a little bit about body language. The body language that you have with impacts your level of charisma. So most people, they have a body language of a depressed person, a low confident person. They put the shooters down, the closed their chests, the lockdown, no emotions, no gestures. And they say, Oh, I don't understand why I'm not charismatic. But instead you should have the charismatic body language. What is it? You imagine that you're Superman? You open your chest, you put your shoulders back. You hold yourself straight. You have, your head is straight. You just imagine that you have a string pulling you to the sky. You have great facial expressions, but you're not depressed, you're not bored. You have neutral to positive facial expressions. And you gesture a lot. You take space by gesturing. You are going to activate emotions. You are going to activate passion. If you see the great leaders, charismatic leaders, they use gesture, the eye, not like that. They use the Superman posture and they use gesture. They speak with passion. We have seen before in the course how you can speak with passion. And now it's the way to put everything together. You smile, you maintain eye contact, you speak with passion. You use the big gestures. The big gestures. Don't try to make them like that. Tried to be more control of the texture. Imagine slow gestures. You justice are big, but they are small. Thus, there are huge and they are controlled. They are in control, and that will show your confidence. So try that and you will see it will improve your level of charisma.