Building Online Social Networks | SOMA MARTON | Skillshare

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Building Online Social Networks

teacher avatar SOMA MARTON, Videography, Productivity, Health

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

7 Lessons (22m)
    • 1. Welcome!

    • 2. Meeting People Online

    • 3. Networking in Videogames

    • 4. How to Make Friends on Bumble

    • 5. Making a Killer Instagram

    • 6. Optimizing Your Facebook

    • 7. Connecting with CEOs over LinkedIn

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About This Class

I want to talk about human beings for a sec.

Whichever way you look at it, humans are social animals.

Our brain evolved with communication in mind, and many scientists actually believe that human to human contact was one of the main drivers of our evolution in the first place.

On top of our biology, we’re also raised to make friends from day 1 – from our parents giving us playdates as babies, to being put into schools that encourage socialization, to the countless social activities available to all of us at work and in adult life.

Clearly meeting people & making friends in person is important.

But today, people don't.

Right now, in 2019, people have fewer friends than ever.

Modern society is lonely. Really lonely. It's gotten so bad that Psychology Today actually listed loneliness a "serious public health problem".

And the symptoms are getting harder and harder to ignore.



Panic attacks.

Twenty years ago, these were thought of as serious, rare issues.

Now everybody & their dog has them.

It's a byproduct of our infatuation with technology.

And while I'm not against technology, I am against people not knowing the basic social skills required to function in modern day society.

Let me put it this way: things have gotten bad, and they're continuing to get worse. And the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.

Put the two together, and clearly something has to change or we'll have a lot more on our hands than just anxiety.

That’s where I come in.

Hi, I'm Soma.

I’ve spent the last few years compiling every note, every video, every conference, and every presentation I’ve ever witnessed about meeting people and making friends...

and I want to share that information right here, right now.

I didn't always used to be this way. When I was younger, I struggled to make friends just like you.

In fact, I was probably worse. I got anxiety just asking people for the time.

But with conscious practice and effort, I’ve made it to a point where I have a huge network of amazing friends that inspire me and encourage me to do my best.

And I want to show you how to get the same.

Enter my course, How to Make Friends: The Definitive Guide to Meeting People


In this course, I’m going to teach you how to make more friends than you know what to do with.

First, I'll teach you a simple three-step formula that can start a conversation with anyone.

That's right. Anyone.

Big, multimillion dollar CEO? No problem.

The little old lady on the side of the road? You betcha.

Then, I’ll show you how to tinker that approach for unique situations – for example, making friends at work or over the Internet.

Then, I’ll show you the exact sequence of steps I use to set up my social media for networking and mass contacting. I’ll run you through how to get phone numbers & contact information. How to set boundaries. What to say when a friend pisses you off. Even how to save face when someone shit talks people right to your face.

I go through everything from a to z, and I poured my heart and soul into showing you exactly how to do it, no gimmicks. I made this course for you, because I don’t want loneliness to be a public health issue. I don’t like taking the bus and having everybody look quietly down at their phones. I don’t like awkward elevator rides. I want people in conversations, sharing ideas, and building relationships, and I’m sure you do too. So let’s get going.

Meet Your Teacher

Teacher Profile Image


Videography, Productivity, Health




Hello Skillshare! 

Thanks for taking the time to check out my teaching page! My name is Soma - I'm a professional videographer with a passion for social skills, online marketing, and health. I co-teach a bunch of courses with my talented colleague, Nick Saraev, and together we run a coaching company called Let's Improve.

A bit about me: my background is actually in molecular biology & health science, and I love tweaking my nutrition and optimizing people's health. I love watching my clients improve themselves, overcome obstacles, and gain confidence in their day-to-day life.

My goal on Skillshare is help as many people as possible learn about social skills, productivity tweaks,... See full profile

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1. Welcome!: Hi there. I'm showman. Today I want to talk to you about making friends first. Human beings are social animals. It's literally in our DNA. Our brains evolved, was communication in mind, and many scientists actually believe the human to human contact is one of the main drivers in human evolution in the first place. We've been rear to make friends from day one from our parents, giving us play date's babies to being put in school to encourage socialization. Teoh. Countless social activities available toe all of us at work, and they're in our adult lives. So why is it that right now in 2019 people have fewer friends than ever before? Why is it that mass survey after a mass survey tells us that the average human is being lonelier today than any time in the last 100 years? Psychology today called not having enough Friends East Serious Public Health issue. With depression and anxiety and panic attacks at an all time high, many people agree the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. Clearly, something has to change if we want to improve our lives. That is where I come. I spent the last few years compiling every note, every video, every conference and every presentation I've ever witnessed about meeting people and making friends. What? How is younger? I honestly struggled, but with conscious practice and effort, I've made it to the point where I have a huge network of amazing friends that aspire and encouraged me to do my best. And I want to show you how you can get the same thing in this course. I'm going to teach you how to make more friends than you know what to do with. First will learn how to start a great conversation with anyone. Then I'll show you custom situations. How to make friends that work in class, on the Internet, at events even on random street corners. Which is, by the way, my favorite way to meet some. Then I'll show you the exact sequence of steps I used to set up my social media for networking and mass communication. I'll run you through how to get phone numbers and contact information, how to set up boundaries, what to say when a friend pisses you off, even how to say face when someone should talks to you right in front of your face. I go through everything from eight. Is that and I pour my heart and soul into showing you exactly how to do it with no gimmicks . I made this course for you because I don't want loneliness to be a public health issue. I don't like taking the bus and having everyone looked quietly down on their phones. I don't like awkward elevator rides. I want people in conversations, sharing ideas and building relationships, and I'm sure you do too, so let's get going. 2. Meeting People Online: Hey guys, Shoma here and in this video, I'm going to show you how to make friends on meet up dot com Now, First of all, I just want to talk a little bit about what we've done so far. The really important thing when you're meeting people randomly, is the time in the conversation. In order to move forward with a relationship of any kind could be a friendship. A colleague. Ah person you might want to date. Even both parties need to feel comfortable with each other when you're just meeting people randomly. People that you don't work with you accomplish is by having the three rules down. Remember your eye. Contact your body language and your vocal tonality and by having a good elevator pitch. Normally, by the time you're done the elevator pitch he's being around 30 to 60 seconds, and that's usually enough time for somebody to confirm that you're not a total weirdo and that you're somebody that they could see themselves getting along with. Now. What's really cool about meet up dot com is that most of the time, if somebody is a meet up event, it's because they really want to meet people. So a lot of your heavy lifting is done or right off the bat. In contrast to you walking up to somebody on the streets, for example, people from meet up are much less likely to think that you're a weirdo cause you're among like minded people. So I love meet up and I use it all the time to meet everybody from business contacts to friends to even relationships. And what I'm going to do right now is show you how to get started using it to. So this is meetups home page to do anything you'll need to make an account. So let's go to the top right corner here and click Sign up. I like signing up with email cause I hate linking social profiles, so that's what I'm going to do now. Once you've done and major account and verified your email and all that fun stuff, you're going to need to sign up to meet ups. What's cool is meet up, uses your location to find places that you're likely to be able to get to click on this, explore button here and type in a phrase you're looking for to meet friends. I usually type in social because most of the strictly social events have that listed in the title. Now be warned. Some of these events actually are just fronts for multi level marketing businesses or life coaching gurus. If you still want to go to these, that's cool. Just so you know, most of the time, somebody in that room will be trying to sell you a product or a service instead of genuinely getting to know you. Here's a good one. I'd click request to join here, and then once I'm accepted, I'd navigate over to this specific event and click attend. Then I usually write a quick comment in the comment section, saying, Excited to meet all of you. See you tomorrow. In my experience, this gets a few eyes on you and you'll familiar as yourself with the idea that you're a social person, which helps when you're chatting with them. 3. Networking in Videogames: Hey guys, shoma here and in this video, I'm going to talk about making friends in video games. Now video games are awesome and they're definitely not going anywhere. In fact, with stuff like V are getting more and more common, we're going to see a massive increase in these social potential of the virtual world in the coming decades. Pretty soon will have virtual avatars that can model riel facial expressions and tones of voice. And at some point, VR will probably be the place to go when you want to meet anyone. So it's important that we at least understand a few of the principles of socializing in games like this. Obviously, every game is different, so there's no one fits all solution. But there are a couple of things that you can keep in mind. The first thing is that games with in game voice options a K games that allow you to use your mike to talk to teams or probably the best bet. Second are games that have local servers or worlds. Different video games like World of Warcraft back in the day had servers all over the world to decrease lag time, for example, getting a local server like the German server if you lived in Germany meant a lot of instant camaraderie and local opportunities, like in person meet ups. Third thing to remember is people are online because they want to play a game and usually leave their in person lives at the door. So talk about the game. I don't ask them about their work until you've made a meaningful connection. The game is what brought you two together, so you're going to want it shat about that most of the time. Four things to keep in mind is that everybody playing a multiplayer game wants to talk or even make friends. Some people just want to disconnect from their real life and use it as a form of therapy, and that's totally cool. But the driving message I want to give you guys here is making friends from video games is absolutely fine. There's nothing fake about it, the rial people to and in fact your relationship with them or just as riel as friendships would have outside of those video games. It's kind of like texting if you told somebody 50 years ago that a big portion of your communications with your friends would be through a wireless device. They probably wouldn't think of that as a real friend. Same thing today with video games. But that's changing, and you should change with the times two. 4. How to Make Friends on Bumble : Hey guys, shoma here and in this video, I'm going to show you how to use to really cool APS to help meet friends. Both are pretty similar the first skulled shaper, and it's actually pretty similar to tender for those UV that have used it. The big difference is that instead of meeting people for dating, you're meeting people for friendships or business connections. So, just like tender, you download it and you make a profile, then start swiping. There's a limit to the number of swipes you can do per day, so I encourage you to actually take your time and look through the person's profile before you make a slight decision. If they swipe on you and you swipe on them than you match and you can start a conversation if not, their loss the second, the second app is called Bumble. Bumble is traditionally ate dating app, where women are the ones responsible for making the first move. This is something I actually like, since it flips the script in a normal dating and encourages women toe push their comfort zone. But a little while ago, Bumble decided to branch out to friendships as well with something called Bumble BFF, so it works really similarly to tender as well. You make a profile, adding a few pictures and in a short elevator pitch in the description, which you can just borrow from the one that we created earlier. Then if you see somebody that you'd like to be friends with, give them a swipe. Bumble will match you with people that match with each other, and then you can send them messages and meet up in real life a word, though you can only match with people of the same gender on Bumble BFF, since it doesn't want people co opting the Friendship service toe look for dating opportunities. These abs are great for those super busy, since not everybody has time to go to all the events or go out with friends to meet new people, even if you do have a lot of time to meet people in person. Check it out anyways, because where technology is headed, this is the future of meeting people 5. Making a Killer Instagram: Hey, guys, show my here. And in this video, I'm going to show you how to accumulate a social network and make new friends on Instagram . Instagram is by far one of the most popular media platforms out there. It's incredibly powerful, and we're going toe learn all about it. So first Instagram is a visual platform. That's important because it means a big factor in how people use and respond to things on Instagram is through visual information. For us, that means we have to take great care in a good visual presentation of her profile. We need good pictures, captions, comments, etcetera, because things are very superficial and your first impression matters even mawr than it normally does. A couple things here, one. People like to see your face. It's how they'll grow to trust you. Make sure your faces visible and at least a few of your pictures and for sure in your profile picture. Second, take care and formatting your bio. Remember the elevator pitch we talked about earlier? The first half of it was I help X Do. Why, since Instagram bios are limited in character length, just used the first half of the elevator pitch under your name. Then add a call to action of some kind, something like Let's chat or connect with me to signal that you're open to meeting people. For me, that'd be Shoma Mart. I help entrepreneurs. Man is their brand. Are you an entrepreneur? Me, too. Let's connect now. There are four ways you could engage with someone on Instagram likes, comments follows and direct messages we're going to be using all four. The power of these methods come in the fact that they cause little notifications to pop up in the notification tab of the user's phone. Generally, the more notification someone sees of you, the more likely they will be to click back on your profile and engage. So knowing that this is what I typically like to do when I find someone I want to meet, I like a photo or two. I haven't insightful comment. I tapped follow on their profile, and I direct message them a greeting and a quick elevator pitch. Asking them to connect doesn't have to be hard. The entire process takes me maybe one minute, basically the same amount of time. It would take me to introduce myself in person and feel them out that way. Maybe half of the time I get a follow back right away 1/4 of the time I get a follow back after a week or two of liking their picks and at least 1/4 of the time they just aren't responsive. And that's okay, too. Meaning people on Instagram isn't for everyone. That's meeting people now. To grow your social network and consolidate your contacts, make sure you are liking all the pictures in your feet and commenting on at least a few of their photos every day. It sounds like a huge pain, but it's not part of the fun. And the utility of platforms is keeping up to date on everyone's life. Take maybe five minutes per day to keep active, and it really pays off tremendously. I've mean mawr friends on Instagram than every other platform combined, and you can too 6. Optimizing Your Facebook: Hey, guys, show my here. And in this video, I'm going to show you how to use Facebook to meet new people and connect with pre existing friends even better than you probably already are. So Facebook's changed a bit recently before it was just your profile picture and your timeline. Now they've significantly expanded the about me section to the point where there is now more room than ever before. To show people what you're all about. We're going to take advantage of all that added space to give. People are quick elevator pitch. So here's what it looks like. There are a few ways to optimize their Facebook profile. Four. Meeting people. The first is obviously your profile picture and your cover photo. Make sure these are inviting and welcoming, preferably a picture of you with a smile. The next section is this bio part here, remember, or elevator pitch from the beginning, we're going to put that right here, so I help entrepreneurs manage their brand. Are you an entrepreneur? Me, too. Let's connect. This tells people what were about in a couple of sentences and means that we can filter out people that we want right off the bat. Next up is our feature photo here. Put good pictures that represent your hobbies or interests here. Also make sure a few of your pictures are with you and other people. This is a phenomenon called social Proof, and it's an important part of meeting you people. This is how Facebook actors and popular products work. If you see 50,000 likes in the post, you're more likely toe like it than if it only has one. Like right, it's just human nature. Likewise, if a lot of people say that they like a particular product, like, say, a certain toothbrush, then you're more likely toe like it. It works the same way with people. If you can show someone that other people like you say with actual photo evidence, then they're more likely to say, OK, this guy's pretty cool. All right. Now that all of your basic information is owned there, it's time to meet new people. Nowadays on Facebook, the best place to meet new people is in groups. It wasn't always like this, but because of how Facebook has changed or privacy regulations nowadays, Facebook groups are the best way to go. Nine times out of 10 Just like meet up dot com. What we want to do is to navigate over here, to search, bar and type in the name of our city, plus the word group. I'm in Vancouver, so I'll type in Vancouver Group. And there we go tons of a really cool interest based groups, everything from the Camaro group to the sneaker head groups to even a hiking group, which is sweet. So join one that you have any mutual interest in. For me, this would be the Camaro Group right here. Once you're part of this group, almost every group has a weekly or monthly meet up that you can attend, attended as usual and use your introduction plus elevator pitch and you're on your way. A special thing about this platform. Once you meet people on these groups at them on your Facebook right away, it will help them remember you better. And plus, it'll make you pop up on their friends recommended lists. The recommended list is basically a list of people that their friends are likely to know, and once your phrase is on there, you'll start getting a bunch of friend requests from people you meet in their network, allowing you to start growing your own social group 7. Connecting with CEOs over LinkedIn: Hey guys, shoma here and in this video, I'm going to show you how to use Lincoln to meet business contacts and people that you want to network with. This is actually my favorite social media platform because of how unrestricted it ISS Lincoln was founded in 2002 and it functions primarily as a business social network. If you're not familiar with this, think Facebook, but more professional and executive. One of the best things about lengthen isn't everybody that's on it wants to advance their career and meet powerful people, and you can leverage the fact to build a huge network relatively quickly through their invite function. Here's what it looks like. So we're on Lincoln's home screen now. A quick and easy way to make friends. Is this tab right here the recommended for you Tab. What I do for about 5 to 10 minutes every day is just a scroll down this list and find 5 to 10 people that I think would might be interesting and would want to meet me Click Connect. You can connect with a 1,000,000 people per day. There are limits, but I haven't reached them yet. I find around one in three people typically add me back, and then once they do, I send them a quick one liner, asking them a quick question about what they dio. So in this case, hey, John, excited to connect, stumbled across your profile and was interested in your work with an andya. How are you liking it? So far, the cool thing about Lincoln is because everybody's on it. For business purposes, they're typically receptive to networking with people they haven't met in person, so you'll get warm responses most of the time. Once you've shot a couple of messages back and forth, meet them for coffee, which is the classic networking thing to do and move forward with the friendship. Another thing you can do is to get linked and premium. It's basically a paid upgrade to your Lincoln that lets you send direct messages to people you've never met. Normally, Lincoln restricts that for spam purposes, but with premium you can literally search up anybody in the world that you want to meet. Let's say Greg Greenlee, the president of Airbnb, and then shoot them a message. It's a really great tool, and a lot of people discounted just because they get intimidated by the powerful person on the other end of the line, I say Shoot them a message anyway. What's the worst that could happen? Once your network hits 500 people, you're basically a linked and guru, and people will automatically respect you a lot more for this because this little 500 plus badge right here, it's super easy to do and takes a month or two of max. And once you're there, things get instrumentally easier. On top of making a bunch of friends using Lincoln, it ensures that you're also lined up with business opportunities as well.