Building Emotional Intelligence | Nicole Le Maire | Skillshare

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

6 Lessons (22m)
    • 1. Building Emotional Intelligence. What Is Emotional Intelligence?

    • 2. Lesson 1 - Self-Awareness

    • 3. Lesson 2 - Being Self-Motivated

    • 4. Lesson 3 - Identify Your Emotional Response

    • 5. Lesson 4 - Emotion (Feelings) Drive Your Behaviour

    • 6. Lesson 5 - Relationship Management

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About This Class

Emotional intelligence has four key skills that align to two competencies, personal and social competence. Unlike IQ, which tends to remain fixed throughout a person's lifetime, Emotional Intelligence can be improved over time.

The key skills for building your EQ and improving your ability to manage emotions and connect with others are; Self-awareness - Self-management - Social awareness - Relationship Management.

Discover (hand-in-hand with Nicole @ThePeopleEngine) how you can manage your emotions, and positively influence yourself and others.


Check out some of Nicole's other courses on Skillshare:

 What Is Emotional Intelligence?

Learn How To Become An Emotion Coach [Emotional Intelligence]

Develop An Effective Emotional Intelligence Programme For The Workplace


Managing The Freelance Workforce - Course Sections 1 and 2

Managing The Gig Workforce - Course Sections 3 and 4

Manage The World Wide Workforce - Course Sections 5 and 6


Managing Multiple Generations

The Future Of Work With Multiple Generations

The Perceptions And Similarities Of Multiple Generations

Cross-Generational Conflict Solutions


Introduction To Training The Trainer - [Styles of Training]

Understanding Adult Learning

Design A Learning Experience - [A Course, Workshop, Training]


Modern Human Resources, Mini-lecture

The Role Of HR Is Evolving

Short Guide For Digital HR

Introduction To Organisational Design And Development

What is Organisational Design?

What Is Organisational Development?

Achieving Excellence Through Collaboration and Culture Change

The Ultimate Employee Brand Advocates Course

Meet Your Teacher

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Nicole Le Maire

Modern People Ops for remote teams.




Today, the world is our workspace and online collaboration is my passion. I share it with businesses and their team(s) and help them implement, manage and enhance remote working practices.

Hi I am Nicole, an entrepreneur ( with lots of experience in people operations management.

Remote working and distributed teams were my “thing” long before it became “a thing.”

Nowadays, this term is used everywhere. I believe that this is more than a trend, it needs to be supported by expertise and experience which is why I am here to guide and assist.

In other words, I design, create and support modern people operations internationally helping global professionals to work effectively togethe... See full profile

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1. Building Emotional Intelligence. What Is Emotional Intelligence?: The ability to solve quadratic equations may be a function of a person's i Q. But the ability to deal with every day job stresses shifting priorities. Demanding customers in difficult co workers is a function of e que or emotional intelligence with the risk of over simplifying. Emotional intelligence is the dimension of intelligence. Responsible are Billy to manage ourselves and our relationships with others. There are five components of emotional intelligence. They include a well honed timing for emotional expression and emotional control, empathy, brothers social expertise that allows us to develop strong working relationships, personal influence that helps us advance our purpose with others and integrity that aligns us with our lives Purpose. In fact, those employees who score high on the E que scale work with the different yet vitally important kind of intelligence. That is not to say that intellect or like you, is not important. Intellect has proven invaluable and will continue to be invaluable to drive our business to success. But if we want to soar beyond our present horizons, we must blend the progress that we have made in business using intellect and I Q. With the invaluable competencies of emotional intelligence or CQ. It is our emotional intelligence that will solve our retention and morale problems, improve our creativity, create synergy from teamwork, speed our information by way of sophisticated people. Networks, drive our purpose and ignite the best and most inspired performance from our people. 2. Lesson 1 - Self-Awareness: There is only one corner of the universe that you can be certain of improving, and that is your own self. I'll just Huxley. Thanks. Often some of our inner drives are hidden from our consciousness. Emotional intelligence enables us to access this information but helping us to tune into our responses and identify our hot buttons, those core beliefs and values which, if pressed trigger and emotion and propel us into action for good or bad, be aware of our goals. Immediate and long term beliefs about ourselves and others values those things. We hold dear drivers that affect how we work rules that we live by the should must and odds self talk, the inner voice that tells us we can or cannot do something and the ways in which these impact on what we dio. 3. Lesson 2 - Being Self-Motivated: motivation comes from the Latin word to move as human beings. We are goal oriented, and being self motivated means pursuing our goals with commitment, passion, energy and persistence. In order to achieve high levels of motivation, overcome setbacks and perform at our best, we need to be able to manage our own internal states, harness our emotions and channel them in a direction that enables us to achieve our objectives. Being self motivated calls for four essential actions. You can remember them by using the acronym. Same one. Adopt positive self talk to build an effective support network. The A Team three. Visualize an inspirational mentor, real or fictitious. Four. Create a conducive environment. Air light, sound visual images. Affirmations are always written in the positive sense, so there are no negatives right out each affirmation three times in the 1st 2nd and third persons. This is because our current views of ourselves are usually formed by a mixture of what we tell ourselves. What others tell us on what others say about us. Here are some suggested statements with which you can practise positive self talk. I am beautiful and lovable. I am talented, intelligent and creative. I am growing clever each day. I have much to offer, and others recognize this. I am getting slimmer every day. I have a lovely sense of humor that others appreciate very much. I am becoming happier every day. Daniel Goleman describes Flow as the harnessing of our emotions to achieve superior performance and learning. For some time, we have been aware of the different functions of the left brain logic, reason, maths, reading, language and analysis and the right brain recognition, rhythm, visual imagery, creativity, dreams, symbols and emotions. Developing your emotional intelligence means accessing all of the resource is you have available. A central idea is that the brain, when it creates an image, whether real or imaginary, gives rise to emotional states that will evoke behavior, changing the way you think will change the way you feel and therefore change the way you behave. Think of a place where you were happiest. What did you see in here? Was there plenty of light inspirational images? Identify what you need to have around you to make you feel motivated to create an environment that is conducive to developing high E. I make sure your environment meets the following criteria one healthy and helpful. Is the air clean? Can you hear helpful sounds to light? Is it a motivator? Three. Contains motivators that you can surround yourself with, such as pictures, people phrases four organized. Clear your desk, Clear your mind. 4. Lesson 3 - Identify Your Emotional Response: who am ISA manager. Internal dimensions. Self talk. I'm not good at handling conflict. Beliefs about self and others, emotions own and others hot buttons. The years and anxieties judgements. Individuals are difficult when they a good team member is self confidence. Driver behaviour rules as a I must I should. I ought. External dimensions, personal style skills, physical presence, impact on others, energy levels, nonverbal behavior. Let's look at an example. You've been asked to carry out a particularly difficult project usually given to more experienced colleagues. You feel valued, trusted and excited. You are also a little anxious yourself. Talk tells you that you are not good enough. Most working hard on the project. Your emotions swing from elation and joy to fear and frustration. You achieve the task on time and within budget, you feel relieved and proud. You tell your boss and show her your completed work. Your boss gives you no thanks or praise and picks up a minor fault. You then feel angry and decide that you are never again going to put yourself out. You feel exploited. Self talk clicks in to reinforce your belief that you weren't good enough. Do you think about leaving the company. One of your beliefs is that hard work should be valued and that has been challenged. You begin to feel disappointed and upset you. Update your resume. How can you begin to identify the filters hot buttons that trigger your emotions and use this information positively to change events and achieve a more positive outcome? You can identify your emotional responses by this means paying attention to what you see in here and not what you think you've seen here. Your beliefs values drivers and rules actus filters, distorting and deleting what otherwise might be. Important information. We see what we want to see and discard the rest. For example, going back to the scenario with your boss. Did she actually pick up on a minor error? Or was that just perception? What information did you use to make this appraisal, how she looked or something she did or said that you could have misinterpreted. Alternatively, perhaps some hot button was pushed. The triggered what Daniel Coleman calls emotional hijacking, the bypassing of information from our higher thinking brain directly to our older and less developed emotional brain. Who's evolutionary purpose is survival. Thanks 5. Lesson 4 - Emotion (Feelings) Drive Your Behaviour: feelings drive behaviors within psychology. There has been a great deal of debate about the exact nature of an emotion for our purposes , and emotion can be seen to consist of four elements. One what we think, our interpretation of events that produces a particular emotional response, or thought to how we feel. A label that we used to describe a particular state. Three. How our bodies react racing, heartbeat, Feeling tens for how we behave running away or hugging someone. It is generally accepted that in emotion is not simply an automatic physical response to a situation but our interpretation, although our feelings our internal there often accompanied by outward, often physical manifestations. By paying attention to these external signals, you can begin to understand what these feelings mean for you. Moment by moment, certain feelings, Dr Particular behaviors. They were tracing the link between a physical response, your interpretation and the feeling You can begin to identify your emotional responses in any given situation. Our goals are what spur us into action. Thes might be short term, but we want to accomplish right now or next month or long term, for example. But we would like to have done with our lives. As with our feelings, our desires or intentions are not always obvious to us the value of becoming aware of our goals. We can use this information to help us develop strategies necessary to get what we really want. For example, suppose you receive a call from an associate who asked you to stand in for him on a project in a week's time. You've recently freed up your diarrhea derided paper so you could physically do it. Do you agree, but feel guilty because you have moved other commitments out of your schedule to focus on your writing? Say no because you have commitments, say possibly, and leave it vague. You will see what you can dio and then get back to him. If you decide that one you want to impress your associate with your ability to help out, despite obvious cost to yourself, you will say yes to you recognize the importance of producing work that is going to contribute to increasing your profile for long term success. You will say No. Three. You want to demonstrate your concern, but really want to say no. Maybe you will think how both your needs and his convey satisfied. What are the implications? In the first case, your underlying motives might be the need to achieve approval in the second. You have a clear sense of direction and know what your goals are, and you are prepared to assert your needs to achieve these. In the third, you are engaging in avoidance behaviour. What would you dio? Three things to keep in mind. Believe your behavior. When we are enthusiastic about something, it is because we want to do it. If you are delaying getting started or avoiding a task, ask yourself that this is something you really want to be doing. Listen to the answer and observe your behavior. This might reveal your true intentions. For example, agreeing to stand in for your associate might give the impression that you are dependable and supportive, but in what costs to your own needs. Trust your feelings when you feel happy, satisfied or content in a certain situation, it is likely that you are in alignment with your inner and outer self. You are doing what you want to be doing, referred to as being congratulated. If you have agreed to undertake something and you feel resentment. It could well be that your original intention is in conflict with some underlying goal. For example, in the scenario with your associate, you may have agreed to help him out, begin to feel angry at his demands. In this case, your real intention was to say no and focus on what you really wanted to dio write your paper. Be honest with yourself. Find out who you are, where you have come from and why you are here can provide the map for finding your path. Are you harboring any hidden agendas, for example, like agreeing to stand in for your associate because of your need for external approval? Remember, if we don't know where we're going, we may end up somewhere else. State your goal in the positive what you want rather than don't want own it. Make it sensory specific. What will it feel like when you have achieved this goal? What will it sound like? What will it look like? Check the ecology isn't something you really, really want what or who else might be affected when you have achieved your goal? Identify the resource is you need and go for it. Remember Posey positive statement owned by the initiator. You sensory based intention preserved. What will you gain or lose ecology? Check. Remember, we exist in a system family, friends work. If you achieve your outcome, what or who else might be affected? 6. Lesson 5 - Relationship Management: relationships are vital for personal growth and development over the last decade of organizational restructuring, relationships have changed. Where once the psychological contract was based on such expectations as a job for life, this is now characterized by transactional relationships, which are transitory, flatter organisational structures and the need to manage our own careers mean the developing an effective internal and external network of relationships is vital. Relationship management means being effective at managing relationships and building effective networks. Types of relationships, personal partnerships, friendships, relationships with work colleagues. Reasons why we get together companionship, sense of belonging. Establish a support system, build our identity personal development. Enhance a sense of common purpose. Develop a sense of teamwork. Produce a product or service. Reasons why relationships fail. Unrealistic expectations. Black of empathy in maturity. Low EI dependency. Co dependency. An ability to assert own needs. Poor communication. Ineffective strategies for conflict resolution. Personality differences, different maps of the world. Defining a relationship coming together of two or more people for their mutual benefit. What makes an effective relationship? One reciprocity. This means meeting each other's needs. You support I support. For example, if you repeatedly asked colleagues for help, advice or information, but do not find the time to respond to their enquiries. Eventually, they will withhold their know how and support think how devastating this could be at an organizational level. Often it is Onley through repeated interactions that we can begin to identify the real needs of an individual. Check out your perceptions to skills dynamic listening actively. Listen by paying attention to both verbal and nonverbal cues. Toe. Identify what is really being said or not, said established empathy. Step into their shoes and tune into their language To access their map of reality. Use questions directly. Ask what an individual's needs are relating over time. Continuity. Build up a picture of the other person. See them in different situations and different contexts in order to gather clues about who the person is. Their beliefs, values and hot buttons. This will help you relate. Better build trust. Establishing report involves trust and comfort, both of which need to be nurtured. Learn from each interaction and used this new knowledge to ensure subsequent interactions are positive and productive. Four. Engage in exchange to build an effective relationship, exchange, factual information, thoughts, feelings and ideas. It is an interactive process. What you disclose has an impact on the other person, which affects how you respond. Remember, the ways people treat us are reflections of the ways we treat ourselves. Relationships are not made outside. They are made inside six steps to building effective relationships. No the boundaries of the relationships, what can and can't be said or done. Behaviors that are acceptable outside of work may be inappropriate within the workplace. Check out expectations, perspective, needs and wants. Review your perceptions. Avoid making assumptions on basis is of little evidence. Review the other person's perceptions of you. Take a risk. Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen? Examine interactions. Consider what worked well or not so well and why this might be the case. Determine the desired outcomes, said exceptional goals that have power. Appreciate individual skills, knowledge and capabilities. Recognize individual uniqueness. Be flexible in your style and approach. Understand their map of reality. Most people have to work with other people. No matter how enjoyable a job is, it can become stressful and unfulfilling or downright miserable if human relationships break down. The first thing to realize and accept is that you cannot change other people. All you can do is change yourself when someone says or does something that annoys you. Annoyance is not the thing being done, but in your response to the thing that is being done. Things and actions are not in themselves annoying the annoying lies within ourselves. In the response, managers need to change their whole approach to managing. And instead of relying on systems and control procedures, managers need to get to know and trust their people as individuals.