Build an Influential Voice Today | SOMA MARTON | Skillshare

Build an Influential Voice Today

SOMA MARTON, Videography, Productivity, Health

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11 Lessons (58m)
    • 1. Welcome!

      2:07
    • 2. Social Value Theory

      9:32
    • 3. Projection: Introduction

      2:24
    • 4. Projection: Loudness

      5:30
    • 5. Projection: Using Your Lungs

      4:57
    • 6. Projection: Visualization

      5:37
    • 7. Tonality: Introduction

      1:49
    • 8. Tonality: The 3 Types

      6:12
    • 9. Tonality: How to Speak With Inflection

      7:44
    • 10. Pacing

      3:29
    • 11. Bonus: How to Stop Stammering

      9:08

About This Class

Are you tired of having a weak voice? I was too, until I learned the secrets I'm about to teach you..

Hi!

I teach people how to speak louder and more confidently, and do so in a way that's both safe and practical.

If you've ever had to be a leader before, you've no doubt run into the problem of getting people to listen to you.

It's Step 1 of leading anybody, since in order to mobilize a team you first need to show them you're worth being the mobilizer.

Now, this is usually difficult, since winning people's respect is hard. Sometimes, it can takes years to do effectively.

But what if I told you there was a quick and easy social hack you could use to accelerate that process 10X? And all it took was a simple change in the way you inflect your voice?

You'd probably want to know it, right?

No, it's not too good to be true - studies have actually been done on this. The way you inflect your voice, your tonality, is critically important in both public perception and compliance.

Additionally, how loud your voice is - your projection - also strongly impacts how likely people are to do what you tell them.

And by utilizing these tools in a certain way, you can rewrite the social hierarchy and put yourself on top.

You can rule the social landscape in business, relationships, and public speaking, using just your voice.

Are you ready?

Let's start giving your voice some credit :) 

Sign up today, and I'll see you inside.

Transcripts

1. Welcome!: Hey there, I'm showman. I'm a vocal tonality coach. Did you know, every time someone asks you to repeat yourself, you lose authority and you lose respect. And both of those take a long time to win back. Imagine you're in an interview and your employer asked you a question. But because you're so used to mumbling, he has to ask you to repeat yours. What do you think is going through his head? Or let's see her on a date with a beautiful girl again. If every few seconds she has to ask you to repeat yourself, then you're probably not getting a second date. So how do we fix this? It's actually pretty simple. Just stop having a bad voice, see having great voice. All it really takes is two components your projection, which is just how loud you could be without yelling and your tone ality, which is just the pitch of your voice through your sentences. What's great about both of these things is that master and them it's actually super easy. Two or three simple steps is all you really need to do to take your voice from a weak and small voice to a strong and commanding one. See, I've been coaching people for a while now, and one thing I've learned is the way you speak is a microcosm for the way you live your life. When people learn how to truly control their voice, their confidence changes. They get what they want more, they walk differently and the people around them, they really notice. And I want you to know that if you're unsatisfied with my course, for whatever reason, we offer a 30 day money back guarantee, no questions asked, meaning that at the end of the day, you really have nothing to lose by taking a step outside of your conferences, So let's get you on board. 2. Social Value Theory: Hey there before we began. I just want to put a quick disclaimer that this video is going to be reviewed for some of you who have seen my other courses. But it is a very, very important concept, so I'm going to take the time in this course as well to review it in some detail for those of you who have not heard it yet, this concept is called social value theory, and it's super important to understand, because in order to really connect with someone and move them with your language and captivate your audience, you need to know the mechanics behind how human beings operate at a fundamental biological level. This might be a bit science e and a bit odd to some of you who have not heard it before. But I promise it will make sense by the end of the video, and you'll have a deeper appreciation for our culture and our evolution Now, To start, we need to look back way back into our tribal days of humanity. The period of time we're ream or or less just stopped evolving. We stopped evolving because we stopped being part of the natural order of things, so to speak and started forming social groups and tribes that could bypass natural selection and allow people that would normally have died if they were alone to instead survive and sometimes even thrive. And so this is when our basic operating system was established. In other words, the fundamental biological way that humans nowadays respond to their environment was not changed much since then. This isn't a Kontras a sponsor. For the most part, it's a visceral response to certain stimuli. It's a vibe or a feeling. For instance, a CEO inside of his office looks like a CEO. But outside of the office, regardless of the fact that people may or may not know who he is, there's just something about him, something in the way he walks and the way he talks. That just screams that he's a powerful individual. And the reason for this is because back in our tribal days we had a social hierarchy that was based on a set of criteria that mainly centred on the ability of one human being to physically kill the other. The ones at the top of a social hierarchy of the social ladder will call them office for simplicity were the top dog. They could physically dominate any other person in the tribe, and they could do this usually really easily because of their sheer genetic advantage, like genes that just made them bigger and stronger and scarier. And ultimately, this would obviously give them a lot of leeway when it comes to their pick of who they bred with and the amount of Children that they father usually much more than the sort of the betas of the group. Like the other male individuals of the group. Because of that, the alphas were, for the most part, the leaders of the society, and they enforce this rule by the fact that if you didn't follow them while then that would be pretty much it for you because they were probably much, much bigger and stronger than you. So a quick recap offers were the top dogs because of their sheer power and strength, and this made them the default leaders of the social hierarchy. Now we need to add another idea. Human beings are fundamentally animals, and the big problem with animals is that they live in nature, and the problem with nature is that a small nick or a cut could potentially kill us due to an infection even 100 years ago, before the days of antibiotics. Ah, cut could be a very serious thing. Now imagine tribal humans and their level of both cleanness and medicine. Ah, lot of their time. They're pretty much toast after any kind of battle. So humans wanted to avoid physical altercations as much as humanly possible. So we have these big, scary alphas who theoretically could pretty much kill anybody else they wanted. But getting into a fight was very risky. So instead of risking their lives with every small combat over the course of, you know, thousands of generations, people needed a different way of displaying their scariness and their power without necessarily resulting in a physical fight. So instead, it made sense for us to evolve social cues that would settle physical arguments without actually getting physical. Think of posturing. Think of the two drunk bro's of the bar. They probably are very puffed up. They probably have very strong I contacts. They're loud. They get into each other's faces, you get the point, they take up a lot of room and they get writing to each other's faces, but they don't actually swing at each other, just kind of size each other up. And these cues that the drunk pros at the bar are giving each other are more or less actually, these same ones that we've been using for thousands of years again, since we haven't really evolved biologically since then, toe test each other out in terms of dominance or power without actually taking any lives, the power displays or sub verbal cues that these bar bro's were doing our classic alfa behaviors. You know, the puffed up chest, the loud commanding voices and all these contribute to the implication that the other person is powerful. And this is one part body language and one part your vocal characteristics. A key, how your voice sounds and changes over time. And if you guys are interested in the body language portion, feel free to click on my instructor bio and check out. There are many courses I've done on the subject, but for now we're just going to stick to your vocal characteristics. And so now we have these signals. I'll call them Alfa Signals for simplicity that if someone had they would command the respect of the people around them. The Alphas no longer needed to be the biggest and the most powerful person around. They just needed to be the person who could make everyone else think that they were the most powerful person around. Because even if they weren't the most physically imposing person, countless generations of evolution had hard wired our brains to respond to certain ways of walking and talking. If you walk like an Alfa would have done generations ago, then people would intrinsically think that you were powerful. And if you talk like the Alfa would generations ago, then people would again intrinsically think that you are powerful, even if you weren't actually that huge. And now back to present day now, we don't really beat each other up or physically dominate each other anymore. So many of you are probably asking, How would this apply to me and for good reason? Well, in order for us to understand that we need to talk a bit about power, the purpose of physical prowess back in the day was to give you power. And just to be clear, let's define power as the ability to control other people. Our society has since evolved to be a lot more nuance and less obvious about power. People in most developed countries don't really go around to settle their differences by picking up a club and bashing each other's brains out. But at the end of the day, power still has not changed. It's still the ability to control people. It's just now. Instead of physical power, we've transitioned into a subtle version of social power. Basically, these subtler version of power is, for instance, a boss who can refuse to pay their employees if they stop doing work, or someone who could make everyone around you dislike you and thereby socially isolating you. It no longer has to be physical but social, because in many ways social isolation is just as threatening nowadays as being beat up back intertribal days. Waas. So to wrap it up, all in the context of your voice. If you talk a certain way, people will subconsciously associate what you say with power. If you talk the way the alphas used to, regardless of the fact that we no longer live in tribes or bash people's faces and with clubs, people will think that you are a higher power person because of the brain machinery that has evolved to understand people's place in the social hierarchy, based off of those alphas signals who talked about earlier. This is her ancestry in a nutshell. So keep this in mind as you continue watching the more Alfa traits you have the mawr, those social cues that you exhibit and the more people are likely to associate you with power, since we have more or less evolved to obey these traits. Remember thousands of years ago, our lives were potentially on the lines if we did not. 3. Projection: Introduction: with a show of hands. How many people have gone the response? Sorry, could you say that again? Now? I can't actually see you, but I hope you raise your hands. And in fact, had you played along, I would have bet that you would have raise your hand. And if you did play along Thanks, you're a good sport. Why did that happen? It happened generally, because you are most likely weren't loud enough, which is fine. I was there with you guys not so long ago. Literally. I would have to repeat almost everything I said because I mumbled most things. It was not fun. And more importantly, it wasn't high value because I wasn't displaying one of these Alfa traits that we talked about in the last video. So what then, is the Alfa trait that we want? In this case? It's to be allowed and to quickly demonstrate us. Let's go through social value theory. So alphas wanted to be big and essentially very noticeable. In order to convey that they were in fact alphas. So would they have bean loud or meek with the mumble off course not. They would be loud and heard over the voices of pretty much everyone else. This straight is called projection and ill defined projection as the ability to be allowed without having to shout. And what's nice little proper projection is it will actually lower your voice a bit and make it a lot more resonant, which will make it a lot more pleasant to listen to. And this happens whether or not you're male or female. Now, being loud conveys that you're confident enough in what you have to say to say it in such a way that other people and by that I mean people other than the person you're talking to can here, meaning that what you have to say must be correct if you're willing to just put yourself out there to be criticized by pretty much anyone who can hear you. So with all that out of the way, I'm done convincing you Being loud is a skill just like anything else. It's not an easy skill. It does take practice and a lot of patients. But if you've made it this far, that means you see my point. You see that it is important to have and you're ready toe learn in the next three videos. I'm going to dive deep into the actual steps you need to take to be allowed. See you soon. 4. Projection: Loudness: Hello. Welcome to the first step in having a deep and resident voice. Before we begin, we really to dive deep into the mechanics of the lungs because, like in everything else, it's key that you understand the fundamental reasons behind what you learn to be able to truly master it at a deeper level. So this is going to be a little bit wordy and a little signs heavy, but I'll keep it as brief as possible. What? The main point I'm going to emphasize here is is that you need to understand the diaphragm because that's where all good projection comes from. Projection ultimately comes down to three things. One is the amount of air that you breathe at. Well speaking, two is the force that you pushed it there out at, and three is kind of an odd one. It's a smooth rate of air coming out. The more air equals the more force and the louder and more resident that your voice can become. However, that delivery needs to be smooth and constant. Otherwise, you end up yelling and yelling is kind of the extreme end of those three things. Ah, lot of air coming out very, very forcefully boat. I'll get into that a bit later. Now I'm assuming that you know what they look like, but just really quickly. Air goes in through the mouth down the trachea, which branches into the two lobes of the lung. Phoned bronc eels, a k. These smaller tubes down into the functional unit of the lung called the al viola, which is where the oxygen gets into the blood and the carbon dioxide gets into the lungs, ready to be exhaled. Now, the interesting bit for us is this thistles, the diaphragm. It's attached to the bottom of the lungs. Here it is relaxed, as you can see, and this actually makes a long small, which is kind of odd, especially when you look at the lungs contracted a key. When the muscles are active, they get bigger. Your lungs working in this manner explains a really interesting quality of the lungs, which is that they work via what's called negative pressure. Or to put simply, it expands to draw air inside them. And you can think of this kind of like a syringe. When I pull this handle back. That's like the lungs expanding as you know the air is rushing into the syringe, and when I push this handle in, it compresses the air, which then once escape and it does threw out of the spout of the syringe, and you can kind of think of this like the air escaping through my throat. Now there is one key difference between the lungs and a syringe, and that's that. The lungs are made up of elastic tissue, meaning that it bounces back into its original size when the muscles aren't active. That's like if I were to attach an elastic band over the syringe, and now when I pull it back and I, like go, the plunger goes back to its original length. What this means is simply relaxing. The muscles around your lung will make them go back to their original resting size, therefore pushing the air out when I tense of these muscles, that's how I draw air in. So when I'm speaking, my lungs slowly relax, letting the air out, vibrating my vocal cords. When I stop my muscles, these muscles freeze, and it no longer lets the air out. Now shouting comes from needing the air to come out with much more pressure. And so you squeeze your lungs, meaning that it's no longer a passive action. It's not your muscles just automatically pulling together by relaxing, but it's instead other muscles that are forcing your lungs closed. So now let's combine what we learn to sum everything up and move on to how to activate your diagram. So three things you need it first is a large quantity of air. You get this by activating your diaphragm to really fill up your lungs as far as possible. The second thing is force. You get that by your lungs, expelling air the natural way, a K by relaxing your lungs and letting them shrink down to their resting size. And the third is an even pace at which the air comes out. And you get this by not squeezing your lungs out, a k a yelling. So now that we've reached the end of the video, let's quickly recap everything. First we talked about the three things you need in order to have good projection, which s I'm sure you now remember, were the amount of air that you breathe out, the force that you used to push that a road and these smoothness that that force ISS Next. We talked about how the lungs are kind of like a syringe and how they're actually made up of more elastic tissue that allows the air to come out smoothly. We then combined the three concepts together with the biological site of the lung, to really be able to conceptualize how to have great projection. 5. Projection: Using Your Lungs: Hello. Now that we have the theory of the lungs down, let's learn how to properly activate it. This is actually very simple. What is hard, though, is to make it a habit so that you always have good and proper projection. So you've most likely heard the term speak from the diaphragm, and now you know exactly what that means. It means to follow the three principles of having smooth, forceful air in a high volume. Go through your voice box toe vibrate your vocal cords to speak from the diaphragm. Let's go through a few very simple exercises that I want you to follow along with. Also, it's probably best that you do these in private because they do look a little odd to someone who doesn't know what you're doing. Put your hands on your stomach like this and breathe in as normally as you can. I know you're now breathing manually, but just try and relax and observe what happens to your stomach. Observe doesn't go in or out when you breathe in. If it goes out, you're on your way there. However, if it goes in, then you're using the wrong set of muscles to breathe. Giving you a more nasal voice when you're doing is you're actually using your ribs and your intercostal muscles, which sucks in your diaphragm and does not fill your lungs quite as much as the diaphragm can. To remedy this, keep your hands in your stomach and focus on having it rise up as you breathe in and down as you breathe out and make sure it's just your stomach moving. Not your chest and torso area. Great. So now you know how to do that. Try to consciously remember to breathe like that any time you can. It will take some time to essentially relearn how to breathe properly, so just be patient and persistent. It took me roughly 3 to 4 deliberate weeks of effort to really make this a habit, so don't be discouraged if you don't get this within the 1st 2 days. This next up is kind of an odd one, and it doesn't require you to play along and make some noise. To really understand. This is about how to originate your voice from your stomach and not your head. Here's a quick way to test this out. Plug your nose and keep talking. Your voice like mine should not change much, if at all. If you're speaking from the chest and not your nose. Now, here's what it would sound like if you're speaking from the head. Notice how to a lot more nasal E and it's okay if that's you. Once I walk you through these X exercises, you'll have FIS mastered so hum kind of like this. Mm. You'll feel kind of a tickle or a vibration somewhere between the top of your mouth and the back of your throat. Then what I want you to do is by changing the pitch of your voice, bring it back and forth down from the roof of your mouth all the way down to the back of your throat. A few times it should sound something like this. Ah, when you're confident with it, try holding a note in the back of your throat. Kind of like this. Mm. And now try speaking, it should sound a little different now. Here is what it would sound like if the note was in the top of your mouth. Notice how it's a much higher pitch, and then here's what it sounds like normally at least in my case, when my voice is coming from my the back of my throat slashed the belly area, so a really aim to have your voice coming from as deep down from your lungs as possible and not your head as you can see and hopefully here. Now there is a big difference both in my voice and hopefully in your voice is well, Hopefully it's much deeper. It's already getting to be a lot richer and more resident. So with that, we've reached the end of the video here. We talked about first how to test if you're speaking from the diaphragm. Next, I demonstrated the proper breathing techniques, which are extremely crucial to proper projection. And then we finished things off with a bit of ah admittedly weird exercise that helped you better feel where your voice was coming from. And if you remember, it should be coming from the back of your throat slash year stomach area 6. Projection: Visualization : Hey, welcome back in this video, we're going to be going over one very powerful visualization technique that you can do to really boost your projection. And it's really simple. Just speak to someone as if they were further back than they already are, and let me explain what that means. Generally speaking, the thing that's wrong with someone's projection after they know how to properly project with their diaphragm is that they don't project much simply because they are too shy about being heard. What they do is they speak to the person they're talking to, and in fear of having other people hear what they have to say, they let their voice taper off much before it actually reaches the person that they're speaking with. The way to fix this is to speak through the person by imagining that they're twice as far away as they actually are. Speaking to them like that is critical. Since that way, you're not having what you say taper off before it gets to them, and that way they'll be able to hear what you have to say with full force. This not only makes it so that you can come across as more confident, but they no longer have to concentrate on hearing you and so they can focus more on what you have to say. This is great for you, since now what you have to say is going to be more prominent in their mind. Here's a little graphic to really emphasize this point. This is you. This is your voice. Notice how it kind of tapers off by the end, symbolizing that what you have to say gets quieter and quieter as it travels long in space . This is how normal people talk. Notice how, at the end of what they have to say it on Lee really barely reaches them. This means that the person has to really concentrate on hearing each word and not on understanding what you have to say Now. This is what someone who's projecting should look like noticed where he is aiming, his voice is much, much further than the person, so that where the person is, he can clearly hear every word that you have to say, This is how you want to speak, like as if the person is twice as far away as they actually are. Here's a good exercise. You can do with a friend to really tie everything we talked about so far together. Or if you don't have a friend, you can always replace him with, ah, phone or a laptop or some other way of recording yourself. One thing you need is a relatively large space like your living room. Have them stand close to you about an arm's reach away and talk to each other normally so that you can both. Here is other comfortably. Make sure that you activate projecting your voice a k A. Activate your diaphragm by having your summit go in and out and activate your voice so that it comes from the back of your throat slash stomach and not from the top of your head. Then take a step back. But keep talking without shouting. Keep going backwards until you are as far away from your friend as possible. But again keep doing this without shouting. Do this for, say, 10 to 15 minutes. Talk about anything you want. It really doesn't matter. What does matter is that you remember how it felt. I know it's kind of a wishy washy statement, but projection is more or less a feeling you can feel the fact that your voice is going further and further resonating around the room. Feel this feeling and remember it. Well, now, when you stop, you'll notice you'll be much louder than you were before. And if you record yourself playback and see how you did. But I'm sure you did great. Now that you're in these swing of things as and now you're properly projecting, don't lose it again. Make sure you remember the feeling and mawr. Importantly, when you do inevitably lose it, you now have the tool to reactivate your projection because now you won't need your friend to do it again. You'll just be able to turn it on and off. Essentially, it will. And it seems that we've reached the end of yet another video. I hope things were clear for you guys. If not re watch this video because this is the big one. All the others were really just a set up for this video. In this video, we started off by talking about the key problem that people have with their projection. Even if they know all the theory behind it, that is that they are in fact too timid to project. Well, so I gave you a visualization techniques toe break you from that habit. If he has recall, that was to imagine that the person is further away than they actually are. Now, then I give you guys a really handy exercise to activate your projection so you can turn it on or off it. Well, well, there we have it. The end of projection. I'm very glad you guys made it this far and truly it means a lot to me. Keep at it because in the next section, we're going to build on top of projection to be able to captivate your audience even more. 7. Tonality: Introduction : either. In the last module, we talked about social value theory and how that relates to great projection as well as how to achieve that great projection in your life. In having a great verbal presence and being as high value, it's possible. It's not only important that you have great projection, but also that you have great tonality. So what is tonality? Atonality is kind of a nebulous term, but ultimately comes down to the pattern that your voice takes during a conversation. What I mean by that is, say of a sentence. And that sentence can be mapped out over time, where your voice goes either up or down during each word from the beginning of the sentence to the end. This sounds a bit confusing, but we'll really get into that specifics in the next sections. The next question is, why is tonality important? Because, like most things, we do, the clothes we wear, the body language use and the loudness that you speak communicate your social value. Your tonality, also, as we'll see, goes a long way in communicating your social value because it gives the impression, however false, that you have a lot of value to be giving away each statement that you make, believe it or not, either gives or takes value based on very strict set of criteria that is, surprisingly, eats to learn high value people, by definition, have a lot of value, and so are able to really, easily be giving it away, which honestly makes people respond really, really well to them. Now that I have your interest peak with this, let's get into the specifics. I'll see you in the next video where we'll be going over the three types of tonality and the values that are associated with each one of them. 8. Tonality: The 3 Types : Hey, welcome back. So without any further ado, let's get into seeing how you give and receive value. Using your tonality using tonality is a central for establishing the higher could we keep talking about like we talked about in the intro? Alphas have a lot of this value. This was simply due to the fact that they were usually in charge due to their physical prowess, so they could give a lot of this value away. They didn't need to hoard it or take value from others due to their abundance. And this is the basis of tonality. See, there are three types of tonality seeking report breaking report and neutral report. I'll go over each and how they really to each other with giving and seeking value. First is seeking report tonality. This is the low value tonality that essentially says that you are seeking to gain value from your interactions. What does this look like? Well, if we bring up our chart having time on the bottom and our pitch on the side If we were to graft seeking report, it would look like this. See how it starts kind of low, but ends up really high and it sounds like this. Can I have that? What time is it? Would you like to sit? What do you think all of these are instances where you are essentially seeking approval. A k when you don't know the correct thing to do and once someone else to tell you how to do it, This sounds a bit extreme, but it's the meat of it. Because if you were certain about something, you wouldn't be asking it as a question. Even something as simple as asking for the time can be low value of asked in a seeking report tonality, since that implies that you're lower than them and are bothering them when asking for the time. If you look at all of this from the lens of the social value theory, that's essentially a beta going up to an Alfa and asking how something needs to be done. Since the Alfa clearly knows so much better. Using this, you are essentially saying that they have power over you and whatever it is that you're trying to currently do, for instance, can I have that if you say it like that? Clearly, whatever it is, it does not belong to you originally or so you would have us believe, Think of like a kid on the playground asking a much bigger kid to play with his toy head down eyes. You know, no eye contact. Can I have that? Who holds the power in this situation? Now compare that with Can I have that same question? But one asks if you can have it and the other commands to be given that thing. That is the power of breaking report. Tonality Breaking report is the exact opposite of seeking report because it assumes that you are correct and therefore people should listen to you in the example of Can I have that if the same scenario played out except the kid went up and asked with eyes locked and confident body language Can I have that the outcome might have bean drastically different before giving you more examples? Let's just quickly graph breaking report first, like we did for seeking before on the same graph. Remember timers on the bottom and pictures on the side. It would look something like this, going from high to low, some examples of the same questions as before. Can I have that? What time is it? Would you like to sit? What do you think? In all of those examples, you are in the value giving position. Can I have that assumes that it is yours? And you are simply asking for a back. What time is it assumes that you are above them socially and therefore them Giving you the time is actually a favor to them. And so they will obey you. Would you like to sit? Ah, Boss telling the employees, What do you think implies that they will be impressed? Ah, quick exercise that you can do now to better understand breaking report tonality is to say Arrowhead. But say it like me. Arrowhead once again, Arrowhead with that seeking arrowhead and again breaking arrowhead. Nothing too complicated yet extremely powerful. There is 1/3 and final tonality. The neutral report Tonality. This is used in case of a friend to friend. Once you trust someone, or in the case where you really could not care less above the person. And unlike seeking or breaking report, it's just a flat line, not a line cramping up or down. Essentially, the point of neutral tonality is that you're not trying to give or take value in most cases because you are comfortable enough with the person to not have to muscle for rank. This happens it intimate friendships and relationships. But you will find that if the person generally more on top a k a, the Alfa or the parent is this, please. They revert back to breaking report tonality and the other party will revert back to a seeking report tonality so that we've reached the end of this video and tonality. Here we learned about the three types of tonality that we can have to set up the front. Our shoot. All right, so with that, we've reached the end of this video and tonality. Here we learned about the three types of tonality. We can have to really set up the fundamentals so that we can get over toe how to actually use them effectively. In the next video, the three types of tonality are seeking. When your voice goes up at the end of your sentence is neutral when your voice stays flat and breaking when your voice goes down at the end of the word or sentence. In the next video, we will go over how to speak with inflection to get what you want out of life using tonality 9. Tonality: How to Speak With Inflection: Hello. Welcome back. So now that we know the different tools in our tool kit, let's try to put them all together in one concise package. So how do you speak with inflection to make you seem commanding and interesting? Well, first off and this is obvious, but I have to say, you have to have inflection. Don't be that boring teacher that speaks all in one voice because that's really boring and definitely not worth listening to. If you do, you'll find that people don't even listen to what you have to say when you're telling a really interesting story, let alone when you're trying to get something to them. So now with that out of the way, let me give you a few simple steps to follow. Went starting out with tonality. These are the exact subset I followed to have tonality be a really ingrained part of my life as well as a habit. But before we do, I do have to say that before any of this can impact your life, you actually have to set the conditions and practice like with everything else. Practice is the most important part of any of this, so keep at it and don't give up. The first step is to realize where you are in terms of your tonality. To do this. Go about your normal day, but keep a mental note of your tonality now. It will probably be a little bit better already just from paying attention to it. But try to keep it as normal as to how you're before as you can. This is to get you a baseline in terms of your tonality. Basically, what we're trying to do with this step is to figure out what kind of tonality use who you use it with. And was the tonality used the most appropriate for the given situation? This is because there are few do's and dont's atonality when you first start out so you can get the most amount of good without any drawbacks will go through a few scenarios. Now example. One. You're speaking to your neighbor but his dog pooping in your lawn and use seeking report. Totality. This is a case where you probably naturally use seeking report tonality to be as nonconfrontational as possible, which is OK, but will it get you any results? No. In many cases, this is probably not the only time you've spoken to him about his dog. In these cases, using seeking report, tonality will encourage your neighbor a friend or coworker to walk all over you instead of stopping whatever they're doing. Use breaking report in these cases, example to your speaking with your father with seeking report tonality, given that he is your father and therefore you should probably respect him. This was inappropriate choice, since he probably would want the respect. And so not speaking with breaking her poor will provide that this is an instance where being humble will get you great results. Unlike in last case, being humble and non confrontational to an authority figure, assuming your father is one will actually provide the most amount of good since usually being stubborn won't really get you anywhere with them. And on authority figure I will be defining as someone who has virtually complete control of the situation or likes to think so. And not much will change his mind of that. Let me give you another example of this example. Three you've been pulled over by the cops asking you how fast you were going. Now I've actually sat beside a friend who was asked this exact question, and he responded with seeking report. Tonality. Andy Pleasant smile. Conveniently enough. The cop also pulled over my other friend, who was driving ahead of us for speeding, and my friend actually responded with a hostile breaking report. Tonality. Now, words aside, who do you think the cop would respond well to? Obviously, the friend I was riding beside, who is doing, seeking her personality since he didn't challenge the cops authority. And so the cop could be graceful, ultimately, feel good about himself by doing something good for someone else who seems to deserve it. While my other friend got a pretty happy speeding together example for you seeking report finality to a grocery clerk. This is actually not the best thing to do. Let me explain. You do want to use breaking report analogy as much as you can, since it does put you ahead in the eyes of people. It gives you the place of authority due to the confidence you exude, which you should use to your favor, meaning that unless the person is clearly above you like a boss, a teacher or a police officer, you would want to use breaking. Report tonality to put yourself ahead of everyone else. However, you don't want to come across as potentially degrading or haughty, which you could easily seem went if you're not careful, so watch out for that. So now that we talked about breaking report and seeking report, let's go over neutral report in your life. If you find that you're almost always using neutral port tonality, that should send some red flags. Since this probably means that you're almost always monotonous, not really that you're comfortable with everyone else. So beware of being boring and unnoted in the eyes of the people around you. The second step, now that you have identified all the areas of your life that can be improved on by following the examples listed above and comparing it to your own life, focus on deliberate effort and changing where you use which tonality be purposeful and end your sentences with downward inflection. In most cases, it can help to overdo it a bit at first to get it down that ease up a bit, want to get better and better. What I mean by that is you really hammer it home that you're using breaking report have a downwards inflection in every word you use while you're at home for an hour to get you really trained in speaking this way, then after a while, you can go back to not over doing it. But I think you'll find that it's much, much easier to do it normally then before Step three is to get this into a habit. At first, it can help to tell someone what you're doing and have them tell you when you don't do it. This is just because it's easy for you just slip and then quit when you don't have someone to keep you accountable. You know it takes between 2 to 4 weeks to really make this into a habit that will last you a lifetime, and it will feel really oughta first. But one thing that helps is if you notice how people react to you differently now that you have great tonality. And with that we've reached the end of this video here we went over the three steps of reaching your goal to have great tonality, which, if you remember where step one was to realize where you are in terms of your tonality and give you, ah, pretty exhaustive list of the different scenarios where to use what step to was to contrast what I said to how you do your tonality and decide on a plan of action for a deliberate and effective practice. And Step three was most obviously yet most crucially, that you practice practice practice, keeping in mind that it takes between two toe four weeks for all this to become any sort of a habit. So don't give up. After a few days in the next video, we'll be going over the last trick to get us captivating as humanly possible, and that has to do with how you pace yourself. 10. Pacing: Okay, So now that you have tonality down, let's add another twist toe. How you say your words to better be able to impact the people around you and be able to exude control. So if you've noticed, I've, for the most part, being speaking at a very even pace, with only a few micro speed ups and slowdowns at appropriate times. And though I wasn't speaking slowly, I also didn't rush anything that I said. I kept at a very even and good pace throughout the whole time. This was intentional, and it's a habit I've worked very hard on to be ableto have in my own life. Pacing is a combination of not rushing nor being too slow. It's an even pace that you follow, basically, no matter what. This adds control, since you don't seem to be dictated by outside circumstances but instead dictated by your own volition. If we look at social value theory for just a second, would an Al funny to rush if someone was around what he needs to slow down to give commands ? No, he would simply continue on. Since he had all the power in the interaction, he wouldn't need to speed up because others we need to be patient while he finished whatever you wanted to say. Nor would he need to slow down when explaining something because it would be expected that the person will pay a lot of attention to him. And so naturally you would want to imitate this too. A great example of this is to think of emergency responders. They have bean specifically trained to be always deliberate and not to rush, no matter what. This is to keep everyone calm, since they will look to the emergency person for guidance again because of how calm he is and they will try to imitate him and essentially will calm down. This is how much control you can have, especially in high pressure situations. So you should try and always remain level and even paste. This also has the benefit of having a mind body feedback loop and can actually help you remain calm even if you are in actuality, stress out of your mind. All this just comes down to a mind set that you can essentially practice the same way you did for vocal tonality. First see how you react to the people around you and in this case to particular situations , focusing on high stress. One, since that's where you will most likely speed up and rush things, the next step is to deliberately slow down what you say in most things, especially when things get hard, even going so far as to exaggerate how slow your pace is for a short time, say like an hour at home. And then the final step is to be mindful and follow through with all this for a prolonged period of time again, somewhere between 2 to 4 weeks before this becomes a habit. So this was a very short video here. We talked about the last thing you need to know about tonality, which was pacing. It's great because it exudes an air of control over others, especially in high stress situations like an emergency. This is definitely a skill to add to your vocal arsenal and combine it with everything else we learned here to have superhuman control over others. 11. Bonus: How to Stop Stammering: Hey, that and welcome to the bonus section of our course. Now, this is a section I'm really excited about, actually, because this is basically the sort of how I stop my own stammering, a little bit of background. I used to stammer a lot, and by stammering, I mean, like the ums and ahhs that you put in a lot of, you know, at random and unnecessary places in things you say. Now this isn't the king's speech you've ever seen that movie I don't claim or pretend to be qualified in any literal sense. I'm not a speech therapist or anything even remotely similar. But I use ever really bad stammer, and it sucked simply because it really, really killed my self esteem. However, I found a way around this. This method also has actually helped a lot of my friends whom I've told, and so I thought I'd share it with you. But again, this isn't a solution for everyone, but I'd venture to say that the vast majority of people, at least in my experience, would greatly benefit from this. Most people have at least a minor, stammering problem, and in all honesty, you probably do as well. And you do have to be a bit humble to realize that. But this may actually apply to you more than you realise. The problem that I had with stammering is it wasn't just killing my self esteem. It killed my ability to communicate with people, too, and hit. Did this not only because I would actually avoid speaking to people on days where I got really bad out of fear of being laughed at, but because anything I did end up saying automatically looked, ah, lot less credible simply because I didn't seem confident. But like all good stories, I eventually found a solution. I noticed that around my really close friends I didn't stammer at all except at times when I became stressed and at those times ID stammer at my way through everything. This happened over and over again, and at first I didn't really notice it, But after a while it became really obvious to me. But honestly, just because something is obvious does not mean it's easy to fix. So basically, I would stammer because I was feeling and confident because of the pressure that was on me every time I spoke. Now The funny thing about this kind of anxiety and honestly anxiety in general is it's all in your head, which is good for us. It's good for us, since anything that goes on in your head, in theory, we should be able to control. Now, I know this isn't the case 100% of the time, but in this case, it very much is since anxiety that we feel is very much dependent on the amount of emphasis that you put on people. And because of this anxiety, I would just kind of blurt out whatever I was going to say without first thinking about it , then a boat halfway through my sentence. I'd usually catch up with what I was going to say and what I had just said and get all jumbled up in my head since I started to actually revise what I was saying as I was saying it, this cause me to lose my train of thought and stammer because suddenly I was trying to say two different sentences. Obviously, this didn't help and made me even more self conscious, which only perpetuated this negative downward spiral. If this sounds familiar, which if this sounds familiar, which I'm sure it is to at least a few of you than there is good news. It's not actually a very hard fix, but it does take a bit of time and deliberate effort first, what you want to do, and I get that this is a big cliche, but believe that what you have to say is worth saying This is the first step, and some of you might be passes a long while. But for those of you that aren't, this is where you need to start. If you are there, it's not a nisi step, and there isn't any real way to get over it. You just have to take a deep breath and just let yourself be. The second step is to think of your interactions and identify the people who may have the most amount of trouble speaking Teoh that essentially give you the most amount of anxiety to be around, be it your coworker or your boss or that cute girl. You keep bumping into think of this and proceed to step three. Step three is to take a beat 1 to 2 seconds and just let yourself think about what you're going to say, because this is the next big obstacle. Someone comes up to you that you know will cause you anxiety and make you stammer and thereby starting that downward spiral that we talked about. Take a second before you respond to them and compose what you're going to say. One thing that you don't want to do is to overthink everything in that beat. Think of the first appropriate thing that comes to your mind. Phrase it into a sentence and don't rephrase it. Once you start speaking, go with it and own it. If you're using proper tonality and projection, it almost doesn't matter what you end up saying because you will sound confident and so you won't be questioned as easily as had you had a week. Beta voice. Basically think of everything we talked about in this course and apply it. Step four is where it starts to get hard, like with all things you have to practice. So go out there and actually seek out those people who know will make you stammered. But this time use the strategies who talked about above, which was to believe that what you have to say it was worth saying than taking a beat before saying anything toe someone who you know will make you stammer. And using those strategies we talked about in the course will help you immensely. I know it's hard to fail, but don't think of this like life or death like you're probably thinking of right now. Remember, social isolation is justice threatening nowadays as having the Alfa threatened to beat you up was back in our tribal days, meaning you'll actually feel something pretty closed toe life or death when speaking to certain people in fear of social ostracism. And this was actually a big thing for me personally to realize once I realized that it's not life or death. Suddenly it was a lot easier to go and have those tough conversations. This is by far the best way to practice your tonality because it's live and you have no safeguards, and so you'll learn to pretty quickly speak smoothly without stammering. But there is actually a much less intense way that will work for you, at least at first. This is a fantastic way to start out speaking smoothly because the camera actually adds a lot of pressure Even now, after all my practice, I get really nervous every time this camera starts rolling. So his the ideal for step to practice. If you don't want to be thrown into the deep and right away, what you want to do is to pick up your camera and hold it and speak into it. Well, it's recording, and that is actually key. You can speak about anything that you want. How your day, Waas, why you love cats so much It doesn't really matter what you speak about. What does matter is that you're putting pressure on yourself by pretending you're gonna put this somewhere where potentially millions of people are going to see it. This will be a great simulation speaking in a high pressure environment. Do this for as long as it takes. But I suggest doing it every day for at least a month doesn't have to be long or super professional. Just 10 minutes of you saying whatever you want. But one thing to keep in mind is to take a beat before each sentence, if necessary, to really be as smooth as possible, because that is key. You want to practice to be as smooth as humanly possible for as long of a period of time as possible without stammering. When you're comfortable with that, try step for again. Go out and say hi to that pretty girl or have that conversation with your coworker. Or, you know, whatever made you anxious. Use the tools that taught you in this course, and you'll b'more than prepared for anything that comes your way. Well, this is the end of this video. I hope you found it useful just as a quick recap. If you stammer, that's most likely due to you being nervous because of that life or death mentality we talked about. You can squish this through the thought that what you have to say is worth hearing. Then remember to take a beat before saying anything and really composed what you want to say. Thin said. Exactly how you compose it without any alterations. Again, that whole alterations bit is actually probably what killed you in the first place. And then the hardest part. You have to go out there and actually practice, or if that's too much for you. For now, vlog for a month or so than attempt to get that crucial life practice in Thank you so much for watching my course and from the bottom of my heart. Good luck.