Body Language Mastercourse | Mind Favor | Skillshare

Body Language Mastercourse

Mind Favor, Master your mind

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27 Lessons (43m)
    • 1. Introduction

      2:30
    • 2. Section 2 - Congruency

      2:06
    • 3. Section 2 - Open Body Language

      1:24
    • 4. Section 2 - See the whole picture

      1:19
    • 5. Section 3 - Hands on heart

      0:49
    • 6. Section 3 - Hands on hips

      0:54
    • 7. Section 3 - Crossing Leg

      1:15
    • 8. Section 3 - Hand in pocket

      1:23
    • 9. Section 3 - Hands on table

      0:42
    • 10. Section 4 - Touching face

      1:49
    • 11. Section 4 - Crossing of arms

      2:12
    • 12. Section 4 - Adjusting shirt cuff

      0:50
    • 13. Section 4 - Rubbing the neck

      1:28
    • 14. Section 5 - Slightly to the right

      1:25
    • 15. Section 5 - Personal bubble

      1:56
    • 16. Section 5 - Body Position

      1:35
    • 17. Section 5 - Taking up space

      1:15
    • 18. Section 6 - Covering Eyes

      1:21
    • 19. Section 6 - Dilating pupils

      0:54
    • 20. Section 6 - Disappearing Lips

      1:14
    • 21. Section 6 - Eyebrows

      1:22
    • 22. Section 6 - Face changing color

      1:11
    • 23. Section 7 - Deeper voice

      3:07
    • 24. Section 7 - Coughing

      1:23
    • 25. Section 7 - Upswings and downswings

      1:39
    • 26. Section 7 - Power of silence

      2:03
    • 27. Bonus Section - Matching and Mirroring

      3:32
27 students are watching this class

About This Class

Welcome to the Body Language Mastercourse. Body language is something that everyone has to deal with on a daily basis. Unfortunately the school system did not teach us how to understand and pick up on the nuances of body language. Most people have a basic understanding, but understanding the subtle nuances are extremely important to effective communication. 

We will break down some common body language signs and what they mean. This includes both positive and negative signs, that way you know what you should be doing and what to avoid. 

Transcripts

1. Introduction: they do so much for checking out the course. I'm really excited that you decided to take this journey and learn about something which is integral to our everyday life. This is something that we should have been taught in school instead of learning about trigonometry or the periodic table or a lot of this stuff, which we don't really use our everyday world, something that we should have been taught is body language and understanding how humans communicate and what subtle signs that we're giving off and other people are giving off to us, right, because we interact with people every single day. That's a part of the human experience, which we can't escape. And so, in this video, in it, within this course, I want bring down and give you all the information that I've learned over the past several years of studying this field and also putting it into practice. For those of you don't know my story to give you a little context and background. Basically, I created a YouTube channel created over 150 to 200 videos where I went out and talked with strangers, and the whole idea of the videos was to make funny videos, but throw that course and throw those couple of years I ended up approaching and talking with over 10,000 different strangers. And so throughout that experience, there were certain video ideas which I was trying to accomplish. And I needed to learn how to be people first engage with people in a good way, learn how to be persuasive and influence, and ultimately, just learn how to communicate with people. And like anything in the world, if you do something enough times, you're gonna get really good at it and you're gonna pick up small nuances of what works, what doesn't work. And so the whole goal of this course there is to give you all the information I've learned over the past few years, distilled this down right to the fax range, the actionable steps that you can take today. So that way you can take these into your in real world, right? So you can take these back into the workplace. So that way, the next meeting that you have with your coworkers or boss, you can look for these subtle body language signs. Learn how to pick up on them, adjust your communication style. Again, I'm very excited that you decided to take this course buying, which is super important. Around 70% of the actual communication that we do with other humans is non verbal. So the actual words ever saying be accept such a small percentage of the way were actually communicating. 2. Section 2 - Congruency: the second key principle which we need to keep in mind, is making sure that we have a concurrency between our words and our actions. If our words mash up with our body language, this is how we're gonna do a great job of building reporter with somebody of having somebody like us and ultimately having somebody date are five, right? I've never heard the idea of, you know I can't put my finger on it. But for some reason, this person has a good vibe. They have a good feeling to them, and that's what we want to get off to other people where a lot of people come into trouble is they say one thing, but they actually feels something completely different. And I have a lot of empathy for people who act this way, right, Because a lot of times, if you're at work, if your boss wants you to do something and you're in the back of your mind, you completely disagree with it or you want to tell your boss to go screw themselves. But you know that you can't really do that because you're in a position where you basically have to listen to the boss. You don't want to make things political and, you know, get on some of these bad side. So a lot of times we are in these conflicting situations where we may deeply feel one way but were forced to speak and communicate in a way that's completely contradictory to it. And so the best way we were communicating with somebody to give off that overall good vibe and be most effective. Have somebody really like you is to be maybe not even necessarily, like right if if they disagree with you or you're completely different people coming from opposing points of view But at the very least they're gonna respect you to a certain level . And so with this just understanding the idea that we want to make sure that our words are consistent, their ashes and understanding this principle could be a great way for us to figure out, pick up on the body language when somebody isn't being straightforward with us, or if somebody is trying to be deceptive with us. Seeing if there is that disconnect between their words and their body language is a great way to 3. Section 2 - Open Body Language: So the first key principle that we need to understand that body language is the contrast between open and closed body language. No, there's several other ways people may talk about it. You could talk about it as high value or low value or power or pacifying, but it's basically the same thing. It's for the context of this. I'm gonna frame it as open or closed body, which the more body language that you have, which is open and basically exposing your body to the rest of the people you're communicating with is a sign that you're confident that you're comfortable whereas body language where you're protecting yourself, closing yourself off. So like folding your arms or hands in your pocket, shoulders down anything where you're putting up some type of a barrier, whether your arms, your legs, your feet, anything that's putting something in front of you and the person that you're speaking with or you in the group of people. So again we'll get into the more specifics. But from a general standpoint, any time that you're you're open, you're taking up space. You're allowing everybody to have a direct line of access to you that's gonna be perceived as more confident and policy. Just keeping this idea in mind where the more open you are, the last barriers you're putting between you and somebody else. It shows that you really are comfortable in your own skin. You're comfortable in this environment. 4. Section 2 - See the whole picture: the last key principle for us to keep in mind when going throughout this course is understanding that humans are very different and humans have a wide range of emotions. And for us to be effective with our communication and also picking up on body language is understanding that people are very different. And so when you are communicating with one person, it may look very differently than when you communicate with somebody else and having that range where you can basically move with on this emotional spectrum to adjust the way that you're communicating with people. So that way you can be most effective when talking with them. And conversely, when you're listening to somebody or trying to understand what they're really saying by on either body language, understand that there's a whole range of emotion and people are completely different. There are what, 7 to 8 billion people on the planet and each person is completely unique and different, and each person has their own unique set of experiences and having that ability to read a ton of different signs, you know, sometimes a lot, a lot of conflicting times to write, somebody might be giving off positive and negative signs, and so being able to see from a bigger picture is gonna be extremely important 5. Section 3 - Hands on heart: The next thing to be aware of is when you're talking and somebody places their hands on their part, this is generally assigned that whatever they're talking about, they feel really passionate and sincere amount. And there's some communicating to you that they want you to really believe them and feel the sincerity, right? So if I was talking to you and I said, you know what, This is really the best technique out there. You know, this is really the best body language dignity to use. The reason for that is because, right, So when you see him doing that, I'm showing that I'm really sincere in what I'm trying Teoh saying, Come across with this. I would only use it if it's actually something you are sincere about. I wouldn't be fake about this. And I think if you want to speak about something that you're extremely passionate about, you may find yourself just naturally doing this 6. Section 3 - Hands on hips: the next body language technique that we're talking about is putting your hands under hips when you put your hands on her hips. What you're doing is communicating that you're really comfortable in your situation and you want to take up more space as a general rule film. Any time that you're taking up more space, you're showing that you're the dominant, assertive one in the situation. Whereas we compare it to somebody who say it's a low self esteem or they're uncomfortable in a situation they're gonna try, take up as little space as possible. That's where they're gonna have morning narrow stance or in here to see the shoulders not be that as much anymore around it off. And so putting your hands under it is just another way to show that you are confident and comfortable in the situation, show and exude that power and by ultimately taking up more space. But it's still in a natural way, which isn't excessive or over the top 7. Section 3 - Crossing Leg: the next thing to keep it out forward is the light cross. So this is gonna be a little bit or situational, and you really have to keep in mind who you're speaking with and where they're positioned in relation other people. But let's say you're sitting in a meeting and you decide to cross your leg like this, right? So if you're crossing, this leg begins to face this way, you could be communicating a couple things right? The person on this side of you, you could be communicating that you are closing off that you're trying to move away from, or if moves, the conversation happened with somebody is engaged with this person over here. When you cross your legs like this, you could be suits up communicating that, that I'm moving closer towards you. I'm directing more of my attention towards you. So with this, especially if you're in a meeting or room with a ton of different people, it could be kind of difficult to pick up on reading this sign in and of itself. But generally, if somebody is crossing their leg in one way or the other, generally the direction that they're crossing their legs Facing it towards is a sign that they're more open to that person, whereas if they're moving their legs from here, they're basically closing off this section of the body to everything else that's over here . 8. Section 3 - Hand in pocket: the next thing we're talking about is putting your hands in your pocket. Now, for the most part, if you're putting your hands in your pocket, that's not a good sign. Because again you're closing off your becoming smaller than you are. It's gonna make you come across as un confident and overall that's not open, right? But there are some situations where if you do have to put your hand in your pocket, you can still look a little better. And so what I'm gonna show your But if you keep your thumbs out that still show that open willing Teoh. So if you think about humans are really just animals were more advanced animals that monkeys, dolphins, all this other stuff. But what really makes our hands you spoke is our opposable thumbs are films allow us to grab stuff, use tools and really a lot of our hands depend on our crops. And so, from a primal level, those are really important, you know, peace, peace at our biology. So when you have your hands in your pocket, you know most people, man, keep it all their fingers like this, which is ultimately, really bad poor which But if you do ever thumbs out, that's still showing that the most important part of their hand is open and it's not in your pockets that can show that, you know, still that positive open by which. 9. Section 3 - Hands on table: for this next positive body language sign. We're talking about putting your hands out in front of you. So for this situation, let's imagine there's a table right in front of me in him city down. What you should do is place your hands on the table in front. This shows a sign of comfortable nous and confidence, right, and the reason for that is your basically showing your hands to everybody else. You're showing a very vulnerable part of your body, and you don't feel the need to hide it or keep away from everybody else. So your hands are out there for everybody else to see your fully exposed versus somebody who wasn't feeling as comfortable in that situation, it may put their hands in their pocket or place their hands underneath the table. 10. Section 4 - Touching face: Now that we've covered the positive body language signs, we're gonna cover the negative ones, the ones that you should be avoiding. And if you're interacting with somebody and you see them displaying the signs, this can be a good indicator that they're feeling uncomfortable or negative or just not really liking the interaction. So the first thing to be my club when you're talking with somebody, whether it be public speaking, no video like this, or just a conversation with somebody By and large, you should avoid touching your face when talking. The reason for this is it can sub communicate that you're be dishonest, and it makes people think that you're not trustworthy. All right, so let's consider a couple different examples. One. I'm just speaking like this. Basically, how I have been the entire course and how I'm gonna continue talking. My hands are remaining in this imaginary box in front of me not really going too far outside the box and very common sent to make sure that I'm not touching my face. So even if my face does it, I'm not gonna be scratching it while talking. So you see how this looks now? Let's look at the exact same thing, but let's say I'm explaining this information. But when I'm explaining this information, I'm starting to touch my face. And if you take a look, I mean, ultimately, I'm displaying the same information, right? I'm telling you, you shouldn't touching your face. But as you can see, there is a noticeable difference when I'm touching my face. It's also distracted from the message. You know, in addition to coming across, that's uncertain or dishonest. It's just distracting, Joe. So this is something that you should be appointing. Typically, if you're having a conversation, somebody there is that good report. Things going well, somebody shouldn't really be touching the face whole lot. 11. Section 4 - Crossing of arms: The next thing that you should take a look out for is the crossing of arms. Generally, if you're talking to somebody, your arms shouldn't be crossed because this is showing that air closing off to them. And you're putting up some type of a barrier between you and your vital organs and the person or people at home. One thing I have discovered or the years of studying language is you have to take the bigger contest. The play. You can't take a look at one sign say the person's displaying the negative sign. So that means there for sure closed off. That it's for sure they're uncomfortable should be really affected. With this, you have to take the bigger picture in mind and also the history of silly. So there may be some people out there where they just naturally feel comfortable close in your arms. All right, so maybe in the past they felt closed off, they felt the need to cross their arms. And by doing that over years and years and years, this became a position that they're just naturally more comfortable with. So, you know, over these years, off for programming their body toe sit like this and then they end up talking with you. Just because they're crossing their arms may not necessarily mean that they're uncomfortable. It may, in fact, another extremely comfortable. Before you make a snap judgment about how somebody is acting based on their body language, be sure to take a look at the history and see how they act in other situations. How are they acted when they're hanging out with their friends or co workers or other people that they really like In situations where you can tell they really do feel comfortable? Take a look at the body language in those situations, and then if it changes, or if it shifts, then that's something pick up on. But if you're meeting somebody for the first time, really tried Teoh shy away from closing your arms, crossing on in whatever capacity, because ultimately a lot of people are going to assume and interpret this body. Language has been closed off, distant and not really open 12. Section 4 - Adjusting shirt cuff: the next signs to look out for is when somebody, especially males, begin to adjust their cuffs. Undershoot, right. So for this video, I'm not wearing a button up shirt cuffs. But if you were to wear any type of long sleeve, you know, professional but not sure the cuffs and then have little buttons, which you can just and generally if you see a guy, who is it? You know, having a conversation. And then he starts to adjust. The buttons were playing with the cuffs of his shirt. This is a really great sign that they feel like they need to be more assertive in situation there. They're feeling like the beta male, and they really need to dial it up a notch to rise to the occasion, that situation and become the Alfa dominant male. 13. Section 4 - Rubbing the neck: the next negative body language signs to keep an eye out for is when somebody is rubbing the back of that. This is a self soothing type of body language signs. This generally means that the person feels uncomfortable and they feel the need to self soothe themselves and basically reassure themselves that they're gonna be okay. And this is more so, a way to make themselves feel better in a situation where they don't necessarily feel the most comfortable. So this will usually look something like this. So they're they're talking. But while they're talking, they're rubbing back there. Or if they're listening and somebody said something that makes them feel uncomfortable instead of just looking straight on acknowledging that, they say, Oh, yeah, I see what you mean. There anything about the neck is a pretty important, sensitive part of the body, right? It's through the neck where a lot of veins and nerves really connected the brain, which is the operating system of our body to everything else. All the other essential organs, the heart stopping deliver. So a lot of the connection between our entire body brain runs through here, and it's very sensitive to touch And so this is a way for us to subconsciously make ourselves feel better by soon ing and massaging and really protecting such a sensitive part of our money. 14. Section 5 - Slightly to the right: the next cool body position trick that you can try is positioning yourself slightly to the right of somebody. When you're talking about them now, this will only work when it comes to people who are right handed. But by statistics, the majority of folks out there are candid. So this should work with most people. But but let's just consider a couple different situations. So for this video, and I was like all the videos, I really try and remain centered, right, that it just looks the best. But how do how do you feel if I'm positioned off here? Right, Okay. So just take a look at this. How does this feel? And now appear that too. If I positioned off cheer left, let's say I couldn't be positioned in the center. And if you had to choose for me to be either on the right like this or the left like this, which of these would you personally prefer Now? I can't speak for you. No one is sticking out one way or the other. There was a study next time out which determined that people where I handed against most people are gonna feel more comfortable when your position slightly to the right of their view. So this is something that you can try. If you're having a meeting with somebody or conversation you guys airhead on, just move yourself slightly to the side, and that may make them feel more comfortable in your presence. 15. Section 5 - Personal bubble: the next key thing to understand with body positioning is determining where somebody's personal publicist as humans. I think we've all encountered this where either we've got to close in someone's personal bubble or somebody has got to close to us, right? So if you're if you feel comfortable with people, be a couple feet away from you. If somebody gets into your personal bubble, what you gonna do? You're gonna take a step back, you're gonna move away, You're gonna maintain that distance off, how comfortable you feel with other people close to you. And we'll feel this a lot of times if you're on the subway or taking on our planet or in some situations where your personal bubble is has been compromised and you're basically forced to deal with other people in a really close situation. So with this, I don't think I need to explain it too much. But I do think it is worth noting because there are some folks out there who have a really tough time gauging and just being aware that every single person doesn't know who they are , has that personal and just because you and your spouse or you and your good friend have a certain distance that you're comfortable with. That doesn't mean that everybody has that same distance. And so when you're moving in and talking to somebody, be very perceptive of this. You don't air on the side of caution, and then once you get a little bit too close, you will definitely recognize to be able to pick up on if somebody started to withdraw, take back or let's say you guys, you're talking about somebody and they're back in a corner with their backs to a wall where they physically back of anymore. If you start to move closer and closer towards them, they may start to expressed some of these negative body language signs, like rubbing their neck or their phase for closing off or expressing some other signs that , hey, as you're moving closer here, I'm feeling uncomfortable. So just keep that in mind test the waters gauge understand people's personal bubble and certainly don't violate it 16. Section 5 - Body Position : in this section, I want to really cover some key principles from body positioning. So understanding how your body should be positioned in relationship to other people when you're talking or other objects in the room, and just understanding how the waiting position your body can be interpreted. And then also some some things to look out for when interacting with others. So the first thing to be aware of is when you're sitting down to show that you're really engaged with somebody, Typically you want to be leading slightly forward to show that whatever they're saying that they have intact, they have your attention and your sort of leading in on the edge of your seat really wanted to hear what they have to say similar to a great movie they watch. If you're watching a really captivated movie, you're gonna be on the edge of your seat and you're really looking forward to the next scene or you're wondering what's gonna happen. Nets. So this is something that you can use to be a better attentive listener, and this is something that you can take a look for your talking with others. How how their position when you're talking about that. If they're leaning forward and actively engaged, that's a great sign. Now you want to forward where your you know your heads on the table in front, or it's too far right again. With a lot of this, there is balance. There is maintained that right bounds between slash notably back showing no interest in being too far and over concert. 17. Section 5 - Taking up space: the next principle to understand is that it's OK to take up space. We for cover this in earlier section off this course, but I do think it is worth covering again. If you're sitting down, don't be afraid to take up some space. This is one of the easiest ways to show that you're comfortable, that you're confident and that you feel good in your environment like this. Don't take over word. Don't go spreading your stuff all throughout the room. You know. Don't take your backpack and everything else and put it on the chair next to you. If somebody else has to be sitting here right, But if there's a ton of extra chairs in the room, then that's something you can certainly do it. So understanding, too, that sometimes your personal belongings a lot of times are extension of yourself, especially cell phones, Right? Everybody's connected to cell phones nowadays, and everybody's on them so much where, in a sense, our cell phone is a connection of us. So even if you physically you can't take up as much space, you could spread your belongings out just a little bit as a subtle way to show that you are taking up space Still feel comfortable, but again, don't be obnoxious with it. If you're in a scenario where it's not your house, you know you want to be respectful and you don't want toe throw everything everywhere. 18. Section 6 - Covering Eyes: a good way to tell if somebody thinks certain news or information bad or they don't really want to deal with it, is it when they start to rub their eyes? So let's say you're talking with somebody, and then they suddenly start to rubbed their eyes or, you know, get something out of there. I This is generally a good sign that whatever you're talking about, they have a negative reaction to, and they really don't want to face it or accept it. And they basically want to look away from whatever it is that you're talking about. And this makes a lot of sense because you don't think about if you're driving down the road . If you were walking down the road and you see a horrific car crash right in front of you, the natural reaction is to turn away right to block your eyes. You don't want to be seeing that so similar with this. It's It's just on a much more subtle level where if there's some information that somebody really doesn't want to be hearing or dealing with or listening to. If somebody is rubbing their I that me a great sign that they don't want to deal with it with this. Just because some things are going in the right doesn't exclusively be that something might have some during the right that happens from time to time. So again, understand this and take a look in the bigger scheme of everything else that's going on. 19. Section 6 - Dilating pupils: going back to the eyes. Something else to look out for is dilating of pupils. So this is different from the Wyoming device, right? The widening of eyes is more so when the actualize themselves are opening up more. But your people, you know, the pupil is really the center part of your eye. So when that itself is expanding, you're getting bigger, not necessarily the area around it is opening up. That can be a sign of attraction. Now, this is not always the case. There may be some other physical aspects at play, So maybe somebody's really hyped up on caffeine or coffee or they're going to be drugs were out the whole involved. So this one is a little bit of a mixed bag, and I would put it more so if you were focusing on the attraction piece of that. If you're trying t o to determine if somebody talking with is attracted to you, 20. Section 6 - Disappearing Lips: the next. Some sign Teoh keep an eye out for is something called disappearing lips. So let's say you're having a conversation with somebody, and if you take a look at their lips, they seem completely normal right there, talking nothing out of the ordinary. And then suddenly their lips move inward and they disappear. So look, something like that is a great sign that person is experiencing some type of stress. So maybe the situation changed. Maybe somebody else entered the conversation, and they don't feel comfortable, that person, or let's say the conversation was moving in a certain direction, which they felt comfortable with, and then it took a sudden turn. Or maybe there was some type of point objection that they don't really feel comfortable with their lives. Turning inward is should raise your alarm that they're not feeling comfortable and they're feeling some hesitation. And I would start to take a look at some of the other signs of the situation, you know, maybe shortly after their lips disappeared away. Are they starting to close off the body? Which are they starting to lock their ankles, crossed their arms, you know, keeping an eye out for some of those other closed off negative body language science in conjunction with this 21. Section 6 - Eyebrows: The last thing that you can monitor is somebody's eye drops. So when you're having a conversation with somebody one on one, generally, their eyebrows should remain pretty neutral. You know if if their eyebrows raise up, that could be assigned at their surprise. So if your telling us your story and there are some really exciting or surprising piece of it, there are a whole wow, you know, your eyebrows raise up. Where is if you're talking and there are drivers to go down and their eyes are actually squinty? That can be a sign of either mistrust or skepticism. So say you're reciting a bunch of facts about a certain topic and you say, Ah, 100% of people are dying from cancer, which is obviously not true and that the person in their eyes may, even though they're listening to you, they may be nodding. Take a look at the rise because their eyes will tend to squint. It was a sign of disagreement, or they're really not opening their eyes as much and fully allowing whatever you're saying into the rise. They're closing them off so they don't have toe look at you as much because they're skeptical of whatever you're saying. So those are two things that remind when it comes to eyes get raised eyebrows pretty self explanatory. And then distrust or skepticism. Generally, you'll see the narrowing of the eyes. 22. Section 6 - Face changing color: What does it mean when you're talking with somebody, and then suddenly there face changes a certain color. So let's say their face suddenly turns white or their face suddenly turns red. Or, you know, ah, doctor color. This son of changing a facial tone general means that they're either scared, frightened or embarrassed. I think this one's pretty obvious. You know, if somebody's scared right and they're frightened, a lot of the blood's gonna be rushing out of its days. They're gonna have a pale look on their face. I think we've seen a lot of movies when talking about ghosts or something, be frightened, their faces completely white. Whereas on the other hand, I think we've all been in that situation where we've been embarrassed by something that's either happened or said. And as we feel that embarrassment sinking in, we can literally feel our face turned redder and redder and brighter and brighter. With this one. It is pretty straightforward, but just keep it in the back your mind and understand that if things are going in a certain direction, then somebody's facial. Tom suddenly changes. That's usually a good sign that something with their mood or the way they feel has suddenly shifted 23. Section 7 - Deeper voice: The next concept we're talking about here is buying large. If somebody has a deeper voice, especially for women, they tend to be taken more seriously and are treated more profession. A great really example of this is Elizabeth hopes for those You wanna Matter Elizabeth Holmes Waas in an entrepreneur. And she created a blood testing company called Theranos, where, basically, they created a blood test, which was supposed to test for a plethora of different diseases and conditions. One characteristic that Lisbeth had, which tended to set her apart from a lot of other women entrepreneurs out there is she had a deeper voice, and because of his deeper voice, this was part of an overall persona, which she put on to make people think that she's more professional and business like Long Story short, she ended up committing basically fraud, lying to investors and lying about the effectiveness of these blood tests She was created. But before she was exposed, you know, at the peak of her success was winning a ton of awards. She created the estimated value of their most I believe was in the billions of dollars, and she was being compared to the next Steve Jobs and eventually, once the you know accusations of fraud and you're misleading investors and all that came out, you know, the company and of closing down as we're currently filming this video. She is going through court, and it's not in a great place. But one thing that's really interesting these last couple of years as the company has been exposed and she's been out, is that former employees have discovered, and occasionally you can come across one or two times where you can tell that her deeper voice is actually been fate where that's she doesn't naturally have that baritone of a voice, but that was simply act that she's putting on. So that way her facade or her persona shoes giving off to all these really powerful business men and women that she's interacting with in Silicon Valley, that we should give off that persona, that aura of being more professional and successful. And before we get into it, you know, I just want to say that she's most likely probably a cycle path to be able to put on that type of facade and act like somebody just really not for that long into that higher degree , right? So I just want to run out there. But that does illustrate the power of understanding. If you use a deeper tone of voice, how a perception sometimes can be rally. And so if she was able to gain that much success and traction and make it as far as she did by really understanding body language and adjusting the way she communicated with others, so that way she was taken more seriously. But again, I wouldn't really suggest that, because ultimately she's in a much worse position than she was before. But just understanding this idea right of buying large. If you have a deeper voice, people are gonna take you more seriously and think you're more professional. 24. Section 7 - Coughing : Another sign to be mindful owes is when you're talking to somebody. If before they say something they cost or they clear the throat, that may be assigned that they're relying or being dishonest with you, I'll give you an example of how this good luck. So if somebody asks you, what do you think of this? Is that a good idea or not? They would say, Yeah, yeah, that's a great idea. You see how that looks versus if somebody says, Yeah, I think it's a great idea again, let's compare the two. Yeah, I think it's a great idea or yeah, I think that's a great idea. The reason why a cough were clearing your throat right before answering can make you come across as dishonest or not forthcoming is because there's some hesitancy, right? If you're asked this question, you really don't want to answer it. And so what you're doing is your coughing or clearing your throat as a way to sort of prevent having to answer that question and give yourself a little extra time to think of something else to say versus what you actually think. This is not a fastball right? That's part of everyday life. People have to cause they have to clear their throat. So I'm not saying if you ask me a question, if you're talking with somebody and they cost that there on the line. But I do want you, Teoh, keep this in mind and with reading by language, the main thing to remember is it's a bigger picture. It's taking the entire situation to consideration. 25. Section 7 - Upswings and downswings: The first vocal expression to be aware of is when you're talking with somebody, your voice should not have been obsolete, and I'll give you a couple examples to illustrate what I mean. Here's the first example. I think that's a great idea. Here is the second example. I think it's a great idea if you notice I said the exact same thing in both of those examples. But the way I said those clearly communicated something differently. The second example, I sounded a lot more unsure of myself. The reason for that waas at the end of the sentence that my voice raised up and if you noticed I said, I think it's a great idea. So as you see when my voice raises up, or when you're talking with somebody to sound more confident and certain of yourself at the end of the sentence, your voice should go down the pitch or it should. You should think of it as either remaining the same or go down a little bit. Yeah, I think it's a great idea. Yeah, I think that's a great idea versus yeah, I think that's a great idea, because when your voice moves up a pitch or when it gets lighter verses deeper. That's gonna convey uncertain somebody that's gonna convey that you don't exactly know what you're talking about, where there's some hesitancy and security, some type of negative emotion with it. So one thing to keep in mind here is, if you want to come off, appears more certain assertive, dominant certain of yourself, really trying to when you're talking, make sure that your voice drops down at the end of a sentence and you're at the very least you're not having their sentences do that house. 26. Section 7 - Power of silence: the next cool thing that you can use win. Communicating with others is the power of using a silence or pause. I think throughout most of our lives we've been conditioned to believe that we should be filling silences. And, you know, if you're in small talk with somebody and there's that dreaded awkward silence, you gotta quickly rushed to fill it or say something. So that way the conversation continues to flow. And for the most part, that isn't entirely wrong. But in this section, I do want to introduced the idea and the power of silence or pause. So let's say you're in the boardroom and your meeting with somebody, and you guys have a disagreement. But there's one point that you are not going to negotiate on. We're not gonna budge. This is a very firm stance that you have, and one of the very convincing argument for it something that you could do is after you make that rebuttal or that statement, say that then, while this person is listening to it or thinking about it, don't feel the need to continue talking over there, you know, allow a moment of silence even 10 20 30 cents to really emphasize the point that you just made and really let the point that you may seek it. And what happens a lot of times is when you use the power of a pause like a deliberate pause or silence that can often times put a lot of pressure on the other person to act. Or, you know, they may start to feel uncomfortable, right, because if you're completely comfortable Mitt that silence in the conversation that they put them on their backs yields and then they may be forced to say something to break the silence. But the thing that they say they give up additional information, which you can then use to negotiate later on the video itself within this section is not necessarily right. But I just want to illustrate the point that if you use a pause intentionally, that would be really powerful. 27. Bonus Section - Matching and Mirroring: they do so much for making it to the end of the course before we finish up. I do want to give you a bonus video and we're talking about Here is a principle from a field of study called neural linguistic programming. Now I've created an entire separate course dedicated towards neural linguistic programming , which is also called NLP. So check out the rest this website, get more details about that full, separate course. But I do want to introduce you to the idea of it. And basically, what I hope he is is a different way of communicating. And you could think of it as like a charity advanced high level, way off understanding, body language, communication and really communicating with people on a very advanced low. And so for this bonus video, I want to give you an introduction into one principle from it. And this is something that you can use and implement in your body language right away. And we're talking about here is that principle called matching and mirroring. How this would look is slept there, sitting across from somebody you're having a conversation when you can start to do is to mimic or match their body language. So let's say them talking and they start to scratch their That something you can do is shortly afterwards. I wouldn't do it right away, because that's gonna make it look pretty obvious. So let's say the first talk, what they scratched him at and then a little bit after that, when you should also do is stretch back and maybe not the exact same location, but very simply, And then a little bit later on, as they're sitting down, they designed to cross their legs a little bit later on. You should match that body language to do. There is something very similar, and by matching and really finicky their body language, what you're doing on a subconscious level is communicating to them that you're very comfortable with them and that you're really engaged in the conversation we're having. And where this gets really advanced is after you start to do that for a little bit, and you really pick up on the fact that they're comfortable with you. Something you can then start to do is the mirror excitement, Right? So the first part of your matching you're basically copying what that their body language. Once you guys are in a state report, you can then start to beer. It's so at that point you could start reading the interactions to say you pretend to scratch, you hear it, you hear. And then if you guys are invested in report, if they really are following your lead, they should start to mimic your body language. And if you can get it to the point where the other person is movement mimicking whereby language, that's generally a great sign that they are feeling really comfortable. And they're actually taking a a submissive role within this whole communication that basically, at that point, you're the leader in the conversation and they're following door lead. So with this, I would suggest me to just try it out. You maybe with some friends or family at first, especially in the board room or in the workplace, because this is a little more advanced. You don't want it toe come across this obvious or clunky because that kind of looked weird . But, you know, practice this idea when you're having a conversation with somebody, start toe, match your, you know, minute their body language, and then if you guys are in that good state of reporter. As the conversation progresses, start to lead it with some of your model, which would see if they near that back to you. If that is the case, that's a great sign that you're on the right track of having that good communication with them and moving the conversation in a good direction.