Begin Again: 5 Strategies to Carve Out a New Life Path | Kassandra Vaughn-Worsley | Skillshare

Begin Again: 5 Strategies to Carve Out a New Life Path

Kassandra Vaughn-Worsley, Author. Speaker. Mindset Coach.

Begin Again: 5 Strategies to Carve Out a New Life Path

Kassandra Vaughn-Worsley, Author. Speaker. Mindset Coach.

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25 Lessons (2h 28m)
    • 1. Introduction

      3:30
    • 2. 3 Things That Keep You Stuck in Life

      7:33
    • 3. Why Self Doubt Keeps Us Stuck

      11:33
    • 4. Why Lack of Self Trust Keeps Us Stuck

      6:15
    • 5. What to Do When Self Doubt is Paralyzing

      5:28
    • 6. How to Commit When You're Afraid to Fall

      6:56
    • 7. How to Develop a Vision That Lasts

      5:58
    • 8. Strategy #1: Focus on You

      6:56
    • 9. Establish Your Climate

      6:35
    • 10. How to Make YOU Your Priority

      6:41
    • 11. 3 Ways to Level Up Your Life

      5:12
    • 12. Strategy #2: Create Milestones

      4:04
    • 13. Plan Out the Milestones

      6:29
    • 14. 5 Ways to Fall in Love with the Process

      11:36
    • 15. Strategy #3: Change Your Tribe

      6:27
    • 16. How to Find Your Tribe

      7:05
    • 17. Who Belongs in Your Inner Circle?

      3:03
    • 18. Strategy #4: Work with a Support Team

      3:48
    • 19. Who Should Be on Your Team?

      5:16
    • 20. How to Work With Your Support Team

      6:01
    • 21. Strategy #5: Track Progress

      4:05
    • 22. How to Track Your Progress

      5:16
    • 23. What Happens When You Fall Short

      5:01
    • 24. Final Thoughts

      4:19
    • 25. Class Project

      2:59
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About This Class

Join author and YouTuber Kassandra Vaughn for a class that will teach you begin again and create a new life path. 

There are moments in life when we find ourselves at a fork in the road- we can stay in the same path and continue repeating the same patterns... or... we can go down a different path and take the road less traveled.  Whether life has pushed you out of your comfort zone or you have a burning desire to start over, one thing remains the same: "You are always one decision away from a totally different life." - Mark Batterson

By the end of this class, you’ll have 5 strategies that will help you overcome your fear and self-doubt... and finally create the life you know you are meant for.    

In this course, you’re going to learn:

  • what's holding you back
  • what to do when self-doubt is paralyzing
  • how to commit when you're afraid to fail
  • how to develop a vision that lasts 
  • the 5 practical, tactical strategies to begin again
  • and much, much more! 

Remember that watching the video series is not enough.  To get your best results, you'll want to take action on everything you're learning in this course.  

Enroll now and let's work on helping you take your life to a whole new level!

Meet Your Teacher

Teacher Profile Image

Kassandra Vaughn-Worsley

Author. Speaker. Mindset Coach.

Teacher

AUTHOR. SPEAKER. CATALYST. 

I’m an author, speaker, and transformation catalyst.  I've written 27+ books that you can find on Amazon at overcomingfearbooks.com.  I coach women in their 30s, 40s, and 50s on one thing that’s everything: rebuilding their minds so they can redesign their lives and re-establish their powerful sense of self worth.  When it comes to mindset (and how to level up yours), I’m both student and teacher, master and novice, devoted follower and rebellious skeptic. I firmly believe and teach that when you change your mind, you change your life… BUT… the key isn’t to change your mind once; it’s to do the persistent, consistent work of keeping your mind changed forever… and that’s where ... See full profile

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Transcripts

1. Introduction: Welcome to begin again, five strategies to carve out a new life path. I'm Cassandra von, your instructor for the course, having written over 27 books, one of which is actually called begin again, 32 ways to release the fear of starting over. I can tell you I have had to start over many times in my life and it doesn't cut easier. Let me start there. It doesn't get easier. And my whole thing is, in this course, I'm going to teach you how to make the process of beginning again, whether you're beginning in after divorce or beginning again after foreclosure, your beginning again after unemployment. Doesn't matter. You're starting over point is, this course is designed to give you the five strategies that are going to make the beginning, again, as easy as it can be. Not that it's easy, but that if you have strategies that I've used, that many people have used, it at least makes the process for understanding what to do next that much simpler. Now, in this course, these strategies are going to talk you through how to work through issues of self trust, how to get over the fear of sorting over units. So many of us, we are afraid to start over because have you ever heard the saying, the devil that you know is better than the devil that you don't. And far too often we linger in seasons of our lives that are long gone in relationships and jobs and businesses and situations that we knew five years ago needed to end. But because we thought, and I'm going to talk about this because we thought we were in a comfort zone. We stayed in things not meant for us because the unknown see much more painful. And in this course I'm gonna help you flip the script on that belief. Because at the end of the day, if you are staying in anything not meant for you, you are actually causing yourself Long-term much more pain then going into unchartered territory than going into the unknown. And so the point of this course is to equip you with the strategies you need to not only be willing to start over, but to carve out a new life path, something that is meant for you when you know that you're sitting in situations and circumstances that clearly are not meant for you. The final thing I want to say in introduction is please take notes. There will be lots of aha moments. There will be moments where you just go, oh, I need to write that down or all white. I need to sit with that. They're going to be Hill huts of, I need to sit with that moments. Be sure that throughout this course, you keep a journal, you keep paper, you keep a pen around, and you give yourself the reflection time. You need to think about the things that we're going to talk about in this course. Because again, beginning again is not easy, it is simple. It is not easy. But these five strategies, and I'm going to walk you through, we'll make it as easy as it can be. And you know what? There's no time to begin again, like the present moment. So if you're thinking to yourself, Well, let me wait till the kids go to school. Let me read to the kids graduate college. Let me wait till I retire. There's no waiting on this. If your soul is calling you in a different direction, time for you to move in that direction is now. It's right now. Now, let's get started and look forward to seeing you in the course. 2. 3 Things That Keep You Stuck in Life: In this section of the course, we're going to talk about what is holding you back from starting over, from beginning again. And typically, when you think about wanting to begin again, wanting to start over, and you say to yourself, okay, I know I want to do this, but something is holding me back. The answer to the question, What's holding you back is typically three things. It's either fear or self-doubt or a lack of self trust. So again, three things that will really hold you back from starting over our fear, self-doubt, and lack of self trust. Now, let's talk about fear. There are all of these cute little acronyms about what fear stands for. So false evidence appearing real. Forget everything and run. There are lots of them. And the reality is, is that fear is a normal, natural human response to experiences we've never had before, or two experiences we have had before, which lead to bad results, which then leads us now, when we see the signs of a similar pattern happening, we feel fear. It is normal to feel fear, especially when you're starting over. And the truth about fear is that we're all going to feel it. We're all going to have it. It's never going away. You know, I love those people who go. You just gotta be fearless. I don't believe in being fearless because the reality is, is we do have the neurological thing we call fear for a reason. It's built into us for a reason and they're not all bad. So fear is going to be there. But the question that you always got to ask yourself, especially when you're trying to figure out what's keeping you from starting over is is fear in the car of my life with me, or a sphere in the driver seat? Sphere in the car, because there's always going to be in the car. So a self-doubt and a few other things. Fears always going to be the car with you. But it's fear in the backseat of the car of your life or is fear actually deriving the vehicle? That's the thing you want to ask. So when we look at what's holding you back, I always like to tell my coaching clients fear can be an engine or fear can be a break. Fear can be the thing that propels you forward, or fear can be the thing that keeps you stuck. And now when you think about it, so you're, you're, you're hearing me say, okay, one of the things that holds us back from starting over a sphere and you're like, Okay, Cassandra, that's fine. Like, what do I actually do with my fear? I think one of the first actions you can take when it comes to understanding and having awareness that you feel fear. You you're afraid to start over, right? Like I think the older we get, the harder it is to start over because a, we've lived, so we know, we know things can go really bad. Be the older we get, the harder it is to start over because we have such history, we've invested so much time and things. And so if you're watching this, you're saying, well, okay, fine. Fear is holding me back from starting over, but what do I do with that? Like, what do I do with it? Here's what you do with it. The first thing you've gotta do is, and I call this invite your fear over for dinner of service in many books, invite your fare over for dinner. Get real with the fact that one of the things that might be holding you back with starting over is your fear and sit with it. And when I say sit with it, literally go okay. So I'm afraid to start over because and you keep either journal or you say it out loud in a quiet space with yourself. And you call up all the reasons I'm afraid to start over and begin to get into my life because of my age. I'm afraid to start over and begin again because of my finances. I'm afraid to start over and begin again because it would mean I'd have to go back to school to start a new career. I'm afraid to start over and begin again by starting a business because I've never been an entrepreneur. And this might completely fail and I don't know if I could take that. I'm afraid to start over again because I don't want to go on to the dating world. I've been married for 10 years, five years, 15 years, 50 years. Call out, open the door, like call out the elephant in the room and jot down all of the things that are at the source of your fear. You've got to actually make it real and just call it what it is before you can actually deal with it. So the first thing is list all the reasons that you're afraid. The second thing is really look at all those reasons. And ask yourself, for each of the reasons that you're afraid. Is this sphere bigger than me or am I bigger than the sphere? Is this fear bigger than me or my bigger than the sphere? Because that helps to make the monster so much smaller than you actually think it is if you say, I'm afraid to start over because of my age. Okay. Is the fear that you're too old to start over actually bigger than you, you as the person who has the fear is the fear of building a business and it failing. Is it bigger than you, you as a, as a soul, you as a person who's lived you. Because what you're going to find out is that none of your fears, no matter how well founded they are, are actually bigger than you as a soul, as an energetic force, as being none of them. So that's the second actionable step you can take. The third thing you do with your fear. Once you've identified all the fears, you've asked, each of those bigger than you like, Who's bigger? You know, are you owned by your fear or do you is that your fear, meaning you're bigger than that because it's yours. Third thing you can do to deal with your fear is to now say, okay, I don't have to tackle all of them. I don't I don't have to do that. And I don't have to start over. Like it's some extreme makeover show. I could actually say. Okay, which one of these fears feels the smallest, Timmy. And what is one simple step I could take to eradicate that fear, but to take action even in its presence. What is the, what is the thing that I'm scared of least in this list? And what is one? Next simple step towards starting over that I could take two, operate with the fear in place. So if your fear is, I'm afraid to change careers, I've invested so much time and you know that changing careers is going to require you doing another degree. Maybe that's your smallest sphere. And maybe the one action you take is you just go look on school websites to see which program you might apply to. I'm not even at the application stage. Just going to do some research on different university and college websites to see what is out there for you. That's a simple next step. So again, we're not trying to conquer all of fear in one day. We're not trying to just say, Okay, I'm going to push past the fear and I'm going to go start my life over. Doesn't work that way. We're going to face the fierce. We're going to identify the fears were going to really assess or the fears bigger than us who own them. And then we're going to say, Okay, what do I fear at least? And what is one simple step I can take to move in the direction of starting over as it relates to that fear and then take that action on immediately. That's how you deal when it's fear that is holding you back. 3. Why Self Doubt Keeps Us Stuck: So the second thing that keeps us stuck in life is self-doubt. And that's a no-brainer, right? Because when you think about it, when you are wanting to start over, when you're wanting to pursue a bigger goal, a different goal. When you want to totally create who you are inside and out and what your life looks like. Self-doubt also in the car with your life, but should never be in the driver's seat, like I said about fear, self-doubt creeps in. And it's one of them was a common like the silent but deadly killers. And it's one of the weapons that are inner critic will use against us. And self-doubt is this idea that what if I can't do it? What if this is not possible? What if I want, if I'm going for something that isn't even possible for me, self-doubt, There's a quote that says self-doubt kills more dreams than failure ever well. And the reason why self-doubt kills more dreams and failure ever well is because self-doubt keeps you from even taking the first step in the direction of a new dream. Failure means you're working on it. Failure means you're taking the steps and you're doing the things, and you're failing at them. But self-doubt kills the dream before you even get on the journey to it. And so self-doubt like fear is going to be in the car of your life with you. It's like you can tell me the most confident people in the world and I will tell you they still have self-doubt about something. And it's really important to understand that you won't necessarily have crippling self-doubt about everything in your life. When you want to start over, you may firmly believe that given your focus on your career, if you want to change careers, you have very little self-doubt about that. Like you, you may have built up a career, you say to yourself, I know I can make that shift. Would it be hard? Yes. Would I have to start over? Yes. But do I feel like I can actually do that? Absolutely. And call it self efficacy. You've got a proven track record of focusing on your career. You might have less self-doubt there, then maybe self-doubt and Arena Rigo, but I want to lose 50 pounds and I've never done that before. So your self-doubt amount is going to shift depending upon the area of your life and the goals that you have that you want to work on. But here's what I want to say about self-doubt. This is something that I think a lot of people don't talk about. And it's, so, it's so important to talk about the reasons self-doubt, especially as it relates to starting over, could easily keep us stuck if we're not careful, is because we are telling a story to ourselves about our inability to make the changes that we need to make. To begin again, in R, we keep telling ourselves a very disempowering story. And we are looking externally to the current temporary circumstances of our lives to confirm for us the story we're telling ourselves is true. So for example, if you're living in a one-room studio apartment in the middle of Hell's Kitchen in New York City. And your dream, you want to, you're tired of the city. You're saying to yourself, I want to live in the country. I wanna I wanna move to Connecticut. I want to move to Vermont. But you don't have a driver's license because you grew up in New York and you never really meet at one. You don't have a car, you don't know how you're going to have money to even purchase a car. And now you want to live in Vermont. I mean, the story that you're probably telling about the possibility of starting your life over. In a more rural state is I have the money for a car. I don't have a driver's license. I mean, how am I going to do that? Help like you can't even conceive of what that transition would look like because it is so far from your current state. And when you look at your current state and your studio apartment in Hell's Kitchen, you're like, I take the subway and it takes me where I want to go and everything is within walking distance and my job is here and they will not let me work from home. Like how all of your current temporary circumstances confirm the disempowering story that you're telling. And here's the piece I think a lot of people will talk about. And meanwhile, you are talking to friends and coworkers and family members who've never started over in a big way, who've never stepped out of their little, they've all been in New York the whole time. They'd never left New York. They have no desire. So you're going to people for advice who aren't starting over or have never started over in the way that you want to right now. And then you're getting all of this confirmation that your self-doubt is right, that it's going to be too hard for you to do. And that there's no way that you're going to be able to do that. And here's the other piece that a lot of people will talk about. And a lot of times we want to start over, we're very impatient for how long it's gonna take to do so. So you're sitting in New York City in your studio apartment. You're going, I want to be out of here now. I want to be ADI here in six months. I want to start my whole life over in a year. And even the idea that it might take you five years to do that scares you to death because you're worried that you're going to lose the momentum. You're not gonna be able to stay the course. Five years as a super long time. You'll waste five years of your life trying to get to the starting over place. And so I think a lot of what our society does is it doesn't teach us that. Over doesn't happen in one moment. It is a series of moments that leads to the mountain top of feeling like, Okay, now I'm in a new life. And then when you're in the new life, there's a whole bunch of moments that have to happen after that. And I don't think we prepare people for the fact that starting over is not going to take you six months. It may take you six years. It may take you 16 years depending on what your definition of starting over is. And so if you think that starting over is about making a clear decision in one moment. And like the wave, a magic wand, everything changes in the next. You're going to be super disappointed when you make the decision that yes, I'm starting over. And the next moment you're still in the studio apartment in the middle of midtown Manhattan and you still don't have a driver's license, you still don't have a car, you still don't know. So starting over is not a decision. Starting over is a series of transitions that take place over a long period of time. So I want you to really understand that because that helps you to put self-doubt and proper perspective when you can say, Okay, I have this self-doubt because I've never done this before, never started over in this big of a way before. I have this self-doubt because there are actually some issues that have to be handled for me to even begin the starting over process. And I am scared. When you can tell a different story about your self-doubt, give it some credence, but also be separated enough from it to say, yeah, I have self-doubt that I can do this. But there's a way to do it because other people have done it. And since other people have done it, then I've gotta figure out the steps that are going to take me there. And some of the steps are going to be right, and some of the steps are going to be wrong. But I'm still gonna go on the journey because I don't know what I don't know and I'm not going to be able to figure those things out until I actually get to them in the journey. So now you look at self-doubt differently because self-doubt is not a sign that you should stop. Self-doubt is a marking posts that yes, you're going to move forward and it's still going to be there. And you're going to figure it out, right? You're going to, Marie for Leo says she has a book called Everything is figure out a bubble. And that's what's true. Everything is figure routable. And so when you're dealing with self-doubt, what you've gotta do is, and this is a mindset thing, right? So when we talk about how do we actually deal with myself, doubt, It's not something like with fear I told you, okay, write this in a journal, face it. Self doubt his own mindset work. It's all. Sing it S2 yourself. Okay, right now I don't think I can do this. Right now. I I don't think I can do this. But somebody's done this exact journey before. Many people have. If they'd been able to figure it out, There's gotta be a way for me to figure it out. And so I'm just going to take the next step, whatever that looks like. And the New York City example I gave you. Okay, so maybe I get my driver's license. Maybe that's the next step. Maybe since I live in New York City, there are DMVs all over the place. Maybe the next step is simply to get my driver's license. So when I do figure out how to be able to afford a car and where I'm going to work if I want to live in Vermont, at least I have the license to drive in Vermont. So again, these are not big steps, I think lots of people look at starting over and they're like, It's going to be this like, you know, is going to be I'm Starting over. No, no, no, no. Starting over happens in so many little ways. Over so many days, weeks, months, and years. And I would argue that we're we're in some way, shape, or form. We are never the same day-to-day. So our whole lifetime is a process of starting over. Now there are bigger starting over seasons and points than others. But part of what we've gotta shift about the way we look at beginning again is, it is not this dramatic. Go over a cliff moment. It is a series of little moments where we make certain that seemed seemingly little decisions that actually change our lives forever. And so when Mark Patterson and his book, the circle maker says, you are always one decision away from a totally different life. And love echo. Mark Patterson, you are always one decision away from a totally different life. He is not saying that you make a decision to begin again and your whole life changes. He's saying, in every moment, in every day, you are every little decision you make is either moving you into a totally different life or it's keeping you stuck right where you are. And so a self-doubt, the way that you deal with it is you've gotta change the story in your head about what self-doubt means about the information it's giving you. And you've got to say to yourself and to yourself, Dao. Everything's figure out everything. If one person has done this before, if one person has changed career versus before, if one person has met the love of their lives in their 60s before, if, if, if any, one person has done it, that means there's a way to do it. And what I've gotta do is let self-doubt talk. It's nonsense, but tell the story of what it, what self-doubt is telling me in a way that empowers me to take the next step, whatever that next step is, you don't have to figure it all out in one day. Like give yourself time to figure out all the pieces. The most important piece to dealing with self-doubt and keeping self-doubt, preventing self-doubt from keeping you stuck. Is this. Save yourself everything is figure routable. Somebody's done this, which means there's a way to do it. What is my next step to figuring out the way to begin again and then take the step immediately. That is how you keep self-doubt from keeping you stuck. 4. Why Lack of Self Trust Keeps Us Stuck: So the third thing that keeps us stuck in life is a lack of self trust. When I say lack of self trust, I think so many of us were taught as children to not trust ourselves, right? We look to other people to tell us the right thing, the wrong thing. We did things to please our parents and our family. And so over time, when you do enough of that, being totally focused on what will make other people happy, you at some point get disconnected from your own inner knowing, from your own intuition. And so self trust is all about reconnecting to your intuition. So the reason why lack of self trust will keep you stuck. And we'll keep you from beginning again or from starting over, is because when you don't trust your own inner knowing, when you don't trust your own intuition, you second guess. Those powerful intuitive hits that you get that go. Don't do this, do this, make that phone call. That's not the right thing for you, especially the intuitive hits that go, That's not the right thing for you. I think most people, when they think about major mistakes they've made in their lives, if they're being honest, they will admit that there was something in them before they fill out made the decision that said to them, don't go that way. Like they're a little inkling, a little voice, a little sit. Don't, don't, don't go that way, don't don't do that. That's not the right way. And because of a lack of self trust for a lot of us, we don't listen to that still small voice. And we go, no, no, no, it's going to be fine or no, no, they're expecting me. You know how many people have if Venus on their wedding days and they're in their wedding day and they're like, I don't know if I should get married. And the way that they talk themselves out of that inner knowing is they go, Penn, I've bought the dress and everybody's outside. And this, this reception is expensive and I can't let all these people down. And yet your inner knowing is like, no, don't show up for your own Whitman. Don't. So I sale of this because you can begin at this moment to start cultivating yourself trust, to start in small things like if something in you, you wake up in the morning and something goes ticket different way to work. Listen to it. If you're at the grocery store and something in use like, why don't you go by this, listen to it. Like cultivating self trust is not about all of a sudden saying, Well, I'm, every time I get a big intuitive knowing I'm going to listen to it. It's about the little things at first. It's about the practice, the practice of getting still and quiet. Maybe not necessarily meditation but going, okay. I feel kind of anxious about something. I'm about to make this decision. Let me sit here for a minute and just listen to my own inner knowing and see why do I feel uneasy about this? Why do I feel uneasy about buying this house? Why do I feel uneasy about moving forward in this relation? Why do I feel uneasy and just giving yourself enough of a pause to just listen you for some more information about why you're feeling a certain way as you're making certain decisions. That's how you cultivate a greater level of self trust. You also cultivate a greater levels of trust. And this is where we get to actionable tactical, practical strategies. You've got to stop asking other people for advice. I know. Like I am a coach. I could give you the, I, I could, I could coach you in amazing ways and I could give you great advice. But the only person who's still the expert on what you should be doing in your life is you, you are the expert. So if you find yourself going into Facebook groups and forums and asking your friends, what do you think I should do and what do you think I should do and what can't stop it? Stop. Like you are eroding yourself, trust every time you're going to mom, dad, sister, brother, best friend. Every time we're saying, I don't know what I should do. What do you think I should do? Cut that way down. And I'm not saying don't ask people for advice. But what I am saying is we get into this whole thing of making life decisions by committee is what I call it making life decisions by committee. And what we're not realizing is that every single time you postpone making a decision for you so that you could get advice from multiple people who are probably, let me tell you, going to each tell you something totally different, which is then it's going to totally confuse you because you're like, But this person said to this and this person said do that and there's no glyph in growth in circuiting into the habit of saying, you know what? I'm not going to ask five people what I should do. I'm going to listen and I'm going to listen until an answer comes from within myself. And then I'm going to sit with whether I feel like that's the right move right now. And if I feel like it's the right move, I'm going to take it and see what happens. And I'm going to journal like did that work, did that not work? And if I fail, fine, because Failures feedback. And then I'm going to make another decision. But anytime you're living your life or trying to change your life based on what other people did, what other people are doing. It is, first of all, it erodes yourself trust. And second of all, it's a set up for failure because honestly, they're not you. So what they did might've worked for them. But because they're not you, like all bets are off and whether that's actually going to work for you. So lack of self trust is the third thing that keeps us stuck in the way that you develop self trust is your stop asking everybody for advice. You stop making life decisions by committee, and you start to get with yourself on a more regular basis in silence, listening, listening to what your intuition has to tell you, listening to it. Your spirit guides have to tell you listening to like, okay, what, what's ringing true for me? And what feels wrong? And then moving in the direction of what feels true for you. That is the way you overcome a lack of self trust. 5. What to Do When Self Doubt is Paralyzing: Okay, Let's talk about what to do when self-doubt is paralyzing. There are going to be moments when you have the perfect storm of an unexpected life store and emotional gut punch, you are emotionally triggered by a situation, circumstances, a person, and even ever been in the situation before, and you feel shattered and unsure and you have no clue how you're going to get yourself out of a situation? I don't know if he's ever been aware of those, but they are super, super difficult to navigate. And self-doubt is powerful in those situations. Because not only are you weekend by being, receiving an emotional gut punch, by being triggered, but you're also we can because you're in a situation you'd never been in before and you don't even know how you're going to get through the next breath, let alone the next day, let alone solving the situation. So whenever you're in a moment and you feel like you are paralyzed by self-doubt. You feel you're looking at a situation and you're like, I don't think I can do this. I don't I don't know hunger. I, I don't think I can do this. Here's the thing that you do. Once F dot is parallelizing. Number one. This is not about making major leaps and bounds out of the perfect storm whenever it is. This is about in shock and upset and being fully triggered. You saying to yourself, okay, self-doubt is not leaving. I'm paralyzed by it. This is horrible. What is the tiniest thing I can do in this moment? To feel a little bit better, to be a little less triggered. You know, sometimes that's self soothing. So, you know, patting yourself on the arm to sort of calm your heart rate down. Sometimes it's going for a walk, sometimes it's taking a nap because you just you've got so many thoughts going on. You can't deal with what's happening. Sometimes it's doing some deep breaths. But the question is the same. What is the tiniest thing I can do in this moment? To feel a little less triggered, a little less paralyzed. So self-doubts still there. You've got your inner critic raging on the inside. Not going anywhere, not asking it to go anywhere. But what's the tiniest thing I can do to feel a little bit better. That is the first thing you do. Once off datas parallelizing, once you've done that thing, whatever that thing is, then next thing you do when self-doubt has you paralyzed, is you're going to have a get together, talk with yourself where you say, okay, This is tough. I have no reference point for it. I've never been in this situation. It absolutely sucks. I don't know how to solve it. But one thing I do know is self-doubts not going anywhere. So I'm not going to wait for self-doubt to be gone because it's not leaving. Whatever I'm gonna do, I'm gonna be taking those actions in the presence of self-doubt. Now, I can do everything in my power to make sure that self-doubt is not in the driver seat of my life. But I just need to accept the fact that self-doubts going to be here. And I'm going to take action in the presence of self-doubt. It's really important to get real with yourself and the fact that lots of people do this thing where they go. I'm going to build my confidence and I'm going to work on building my confidence in them. When I build my confidence, there won't be self-doubt and the number take all this action doesn't work that way. Does not work that way. You build confidence by taking action in the presence of fear and self-doubt. So when self-doubt is paralyzing you, the biggest thing that's gonna get you out of its paralysis is for you to get real with the fact that self-doubt isn't going anywhere. So you're gonna take action in the presence of it. You're gonna take action when you don't feel confident. You're gonna take action when you don't know what to do next, you're gonna take action when everything self-doubt is telling you, you probably agree with, does not matter when you decide that self-doubt doesn't get to decide whether you take your next step or not. You win, you win, and then you're no longer paralyzed by self-doubt. Now, is your inner critic still raging? Yes. Is self-doubt fully there and you feel afraid is you make them at next move. Absolutely. But the wind is not about getting rid of the fear and the wind is not about getting rid of the self-doubt. The width is about taking the action despite both of those things being in your face at the same time. So to get over paralysis first you go tiny moved, Can I make to feel a little less triggered, a little less shell-shocked. You take that, then you have to get it together, talk with yourself where you go. Okay? I'm not going to feel confident in a day. I don't know what I'm gonna do, but I'm going to get up and do something and self-doubts going to be here anyway, and that's fine. That is what to do when self-doubt is paralyzing. Now, in the next module, we're gonna talk about how would you commit when you are afraid to fail? How do you commit when you're afraid to fail? Let's talk about it. 6. How to Commit When You're Afraid to Fall: Okay, so let's talk about how to commit when you're afraid to fail. And this is for all of my fellow recovering perfectionist out there. For those of us who love guarantees that everything is going to work according to plan. And that if we invest all of these hours, these weeks, these months, these years into something it's going to lead to something all of us who've gotten one degree or multiple degrees. And so we're used to the paradigm that goes if you do a, b, and c, you will get that diploma, you will get that degree. There are advantages to having gone through things like higher education and having degrees. But there are also disadvantages to that. And one of the disadvantages that I think being somebody who has a number of degrees experiences is that you learn early in life that so long as you do a, you will definitely get to B. And all other things outside of higher education, outside of getting a college degree or graduate degree or any other degree, life doesn't work that way. Actually works like this. The higher the risk, the higher the return, but the higher the risk, the higher the rate of failure. So you will notice that salespeople make a ton of money because they are putting a lot on the line. They're not getting paid, but their commissions are high because the higher the risk, the higher the return. Entrepreneurs. Another group that take lots of risks invest years and years of their time before they ever really see what they expect in terms of profit and revenue. But again, you have to be willing to take those risks and you have to be willing to fail forward. So I'm speaking all of my recovering perfectionist, my fellow over achievers. Who when you think about starting your life over, when you think about beginning again, one of the things that really scares you is that you have spent a number of years being really solid in what you know and being like your life. Although it's not exactly what you want or maybe it's even far from what you want, at least you know what to expect, at least you know how it's going to work. At least you have some guarantees. Even if you're unhappy and the current state of your existence. Get it. Here's the thing. But that also means that, you know, there's a better life for you. That also means you know, that you want to carve out a new life path. But the reason you're not doing it is because you're actually afraid to fail. So the question becomes, how do you commit? When you're afraid to fail? How do you begin again when you're afraid to fail? And it is simple, it is not easy. You're going to hear me say this a lot throughout this course. It is simple, it's not easy and it's this. You don't commit to the new life you want. And now let's, uh, lots of, um, a loose people. You don't give it to the new life you want. You commit to failing as many times as it takes to get to that life. So when you're afraid to fail and the reason you're not starting your life over or you're not carving out a new life path is because you are afraid that you're going to do all this work and it's going to prove fruitless. You're going to fail at it. The reason why you're still stuck. Not because you aren't committed to the new life You say you want. It's because you're not committed to failing as many times as it takes to get there. There is this term from John Maxwell, I think one of his books is called this failing forward. And so you've gotta do whenever you feel like you have that, I'm afraid to fail thing, right? Not the I'm afraid to succeed, but the I'm afraid to fail. Whenever you have the fear of failure, you've got to remind yourself that the commitment is it too. I've got to achieve this new life in two years. That's a nice goal. It may take, May 10, take five. You may get you in your life and six months. Who knows? But committing to the end goal is not the point because that doesn't alleviate your fear failure if you want to get over the fear of failure. If you want to commit to carving out a new life, even though you're afraid to fail at getting to that new life, the best way to do that is to actually commit to failure and failing as many times as it takes to get to the goal. Because when you start something, see, let me give you an example. So in my 20s I used to say stuff like, all right, I'm gonna give this new venture six months. I'm going to give us six months. If it works out in six months than that means it was meant for me. But if it doesn't work out in six months, that I'm going to go the next thing because that's the sign because it didn't work out in six months. That that wasn't meant for me. That's a cute idea, but that's not actually reality. Here's how reality works when you know, you want a new life or you know, you want to start a business and work for yourself. Or you know, you want to write a book, you fail as many times as it takes to win if you don't put, I will say this. There are no expiration dates on dreams. So there is no expiration date to starting a new life. You literally say, this is the life of a house. This is the life I want. I'm not stopping till I get there. So however many times f to fail, however many times I have to follow my face. It does not matter. I'm not leaving until I get when I came for. That is how you overcome the fear of failure. Because now you're looking failure in the eye and you're saying, I know you're going to show up. I know you're going to be here. I don't know how many times you're going to show up on my way to New Life, but I'm willing to go to toe with you failure. How ever many times you show up and on not leaving till I get to the life that I say that I want. Now, when you do that, when you're committing to fail, you're committing to failing forward, failing as many times as it takes. Are you still kind of afraid of falling on your face and everybody looking and noticing? Well, yeah, you're, you're still going to, you're still going to have the fear of what happens if if all of this was for nothing, you're still going to have that. But you don't allow the fear of failure to stop you is the point when you commit to failing and failing forward and failing fast and feeling as many times as it takes. Now, you don't stop taking action just because you fail. You fail and you go, I expected you to show a failure. I expected it. Now, Let's go again and again and again and again. That is the key to commit to beginning. Again. When you are afraid to fail, It's not about committing to the new life you're carving out. It's about committing to as many time of failure as it takes to get to that new life. Very big distinction. All right, next we're gonna talk about how do you develop a vision, a vision for that new life. How do you develop a vision that labs? We'll talk about that in the next module. 7. How to Develop a Vision That Lasts: Okay, let's talk about how to create a vision that lasts. Because if you're going to begin again, if you're going to carve out on your life path, one of the first things you gotta do is have a vision of that future version of you that pulls you. So it's not that you're creating a new life path and you have a vision of who you are on that new life path, and you've got to push your way into that new life path. You really want a vision that pulls you so you don't have to push it. Typically, when we feel like creating a new life, are creating a new version of ourselves or leveling up. Is this boulder that we've gotta push up hill. It doesn't work out too well. So when you are developing a vision that lasts, it needs to be a vision that you are pulled to or not that you're pushing towards. And it's gotta be a vision that you can close your eyes and you can see so crystal clear like you don't have to go into meditation is C8. You don't have to read a letter he wrote to your future self to see it. You literally can close your eyes in a moment and that vision is crystal clear. Now, there's a process for getting there. So I do want to talk about a visualization that you can use and practice consistently so that your vision becomes that crystal clear that you could be at work and you just take a two-minute break, close your eyes and you see yourself in that new life. So here is the exercise. In order to develop a vision that last, you want to spend some time doing what I like to call outcome visualization. And so what that means is you sit in a quiet environment, you close your eyes, and you just imagine yourself on your new life path. So whatever beginning again means to you, whatever starting over means to you. I want you to imagine yourself in a visualization as that future version of you living that life. Where do you live? What do you do for work? When do you wake up? When do you go to sleep? How do you see your life? How do you see your day? Who's in your life? Who's not in your life? How much money do you make get as specific as you possibly can. Now, here's where this is a little different from most outcome visualization exercises. Not only do I want you to spend time preferably every day for a series of weeks. I'd say at least six weeks, if not longer. Closing your eyes and imagine yourself in that future life, that new life path that you want to carve out. I want you to sit with that version of you in that future setting. And I want the current year in the visualization to ask the future you, what did you do to get there? What did it require? What's the blueprint? What's the recipe? I want you to see that future version of you as that wise mentor who can give you the information in the details you need in your current self to take the steps to make that happen. And so in each visualization as you do it daily, I want you to say to that future version of you, and I've done this exercise many times and I will tell you the future version of me always gave me new information. Every time I sat down, it wasn't the same things over and over again. Sit with a future version of you. Once you've imagined what that life looks like and say to the future version of you. What you do to get there. What are the things that I need to consider? What are the things that I need to do? What's your advice for me? And then when you come out on the Visualization, every time, write down what you heard, write down what your future version of you said because that is vital information. Once again, let me go back to something that I didn't express. Luis L. Hey, who is now no longer with us. She wrote a book called you can heal your life. She started hey house publishing, one of the most successful self-help, personal development, spirituality publishing houses in the world currently. She said, within us are all the answers to all the questions were ever going to. Let me say Louis, I'll Hayes words again within us are all the answers to all the questions were ever going to ask. Which means that you already have all the answers to get yourself from wherever you are right now to your greatest life. That next level version of u is already in here. So the reason why you do the visualization every day is because you need to tap into the wisdom that's already in you. Even though you have a carved out the full, the new life path in a tangible like I see it way you'd already exists. And that future version of you who's done all of that work is already in you. And so the visual, in the visualization you are asking for advice because the answers to the questions of how do I begin again? How do I carve out a new life path? You already got them there, there. You just have to tap into them. And the best way to tap in to them is to sit quietly, close your eyes. Imagine yourself in the life that you're working to create and ask that future version of you that is already in you right now. What did you do to get there? What do I need to think about? What mistakes should I avoid? What are the next steps that I need to take? Where should my focus be? What needs to leave my life? What needs to stay? What needs to be brought in? How do I create space? All of those questions daily do this visualization and speak to your future self and get the answers and then come out of visualization. This is really important. Write the answers down. You will not remember that. Write the answers down and then start to live the answers that you're getting from your higher self, from your future self. That is the way that you develop a vision that lasts. 8. Strategy #1: Focus on You: In this course, we're talking about five strategies that you can use to carve out a new life path. It is called begin again and strategy number 1, which has a lot of sub strategies under it is focus on you. In other words, when you're going to begin again, when you're going to carve out a new life path, you have got to focus on you. You've gotta make use your number one priority. Now, know that there are going to be those who say, I just had a baby. Like how, how exactly having just had a baby, am I going make me my number one priority? Lots of ways. Lots of ways. Let's start with what I want to talk about, which is, what feeling are you reaching for? So when I say make feeling good, your number one priority. Meaning make feeling good about you, your number one priority. When I say focus on you as strategy number one, I'm not saying Let me, let me give you the extreme of that. So people hear a strategy like focus on you. And I know this from my own personal experience. I I was raised as the oldest child in being raised by a single mom. It was me and my brother and my mom. I remember my mom constantly saying in some way, shape or form to me growing up. Cassandra, don't be selfish. Don't be selfish. And I think so often when we are raised in an environment and obviously our parents do the best that they can with what they have, right? I think we're, we're reason environments you to constantly be told, don't be selfish, which to a child is. What that really means is you are selfish by nature. So you need to work to not be who you are, which is selfish, right? A five-year-old doesn't understand contacts and a five-year-old doesn't understand that people come to life, even parents with their own stuff. So to a five-year-old or a seven-year-old or a nine-year-old when they're hearing constantly from apparent told me selfish, benign, benign, don't be selfish. What they're really hearing is also, I'm selfish by nature, so I have to work hard against my nature to please you so that you say I'm not being selfish. And so, and the reason why I tell you that story is because so often when people here who were raised in environments where that was the messaging. When people hear strategy about carving out a new life path or beginning again. And the first strategy they here is focus on, you. Focus on you, really make feeling good about you, your number one priority. The immediate internal reaction is, ooh, that feels really selfish. Woo. The first year, you start to feel like that isn't that super like self-centered and nurses cystic and egotistical? No, it's not. Because if you actually want to give from a really profound place to others, the first thing you're gonna do is make you the priority and fill yourself up. And then give from a place of being full, not from a place of being empty because you're running around trying to please everybody and you will not even taking threw herself enough to even be able to come close to doing it. So. I want to ask you the question what feeling or you're reaching for. Because if your life is busy, if you're taking care of elderly parents or newborns, or you just have a life where you can't do, you can't do the focus on you think from a standpoint of, I carve out two hours a day to meditate and do yoga. If you don't have that kind of time, this is a really good strategy. By saying, okay, maybe I can't carve out the time I'd like to carve out to to give myself the time that I need every single day because my life is levied a logo. But what I can do is I can decide as soon as I wake up in the morning, what feeling am I reaching for? In other words, when you wake up in the morning, one of the ways that you can focus on you, which will help you begin again and carve out a new life path, is you can wake up and you can go, okay, this is my day. No matter how many things I have to get done. No matter how many, no matter how busy it is, this is my day. How do I want to feel today? Daniel report talks a lot about this in The Desire Map. How do I want to feel today? So maybe you can't do a one-hour workout. Maybe we can do a 30 minute workout today. And that would be focusing on you. But what you can do is you can say, okay, today, no matter what I'm doing, where I'm doing it, I want to feel powerful. I want to feel sexy. I want to feel confident. And I always say try to stick with when you ask the question, how do I want to feel? Stick with no more than three things because you get become three and then it's challenging. So what you can do is really answer every single morning when you wake up, what feeling am I reaching for? How do I want to feel? Identify three ways you want to feel. And then say to yourself after you say, Okay, I want to feel powerful and confident and sexy. Then say, okay, throughout this day, what could I do in this day? Not when I lose 50 pounds. Not when I make a million dollars. Not what I mean, it wasn't my life. What can I do today to feel that way? And then look for opportunities no matter how busy your day is to find ways to feel that way. So if sexy looks like okay, I have a 10 hour workday, but I'm going to put on a sexy brought underneath. Or if sexy feels like I'm going to do 20 minutes of ab work for lunch incentive eating lunch, or just quickly after I do that, because whenever my core is activated, I feel sexy or whatever it is for you find ways to feel that way today. But the only way you get there is if you actually start your day asking the question, how do I want to feel today? What, what are the three things that I really want to feel today? That is a great example of focusing on you without having to do two hours in the gym or an hour of yoga, or even 30 minutes of meditation. You could have the craziest life and still wake up every morning and say, how do I want to feel today? Right those feelings down and then say, okay, what can I do today to feel like this? Answer that question. So that is a strategy you can use to live into strategy number 1, when you're carving out a new life path which is focused on, you, ask yourself, how do I want to feel today? Write down those three things, and then what can I do today to feel that way? Today, it's a great strategy. 9. Establish Your Climate: Another strategy that you can use to focus on you, which is strategy number one, is to establish your climate and build your life around it. Now you might be thinking, okay, so that is what is my climate exactly? Well, your climate is the result of how you think, how you feel and how you see your life, your climate is your inner, whether temperature, thermometer. Think about it this way. When somebody is in a bad mood, their climate reflects that, right? When somebody did a crappy mood. They are irritable, they're annoyed easily, they're angry. That is their climate in that moment when they're super angry or in a really bad mood. So in each moment, we can shift our climate. But in general, we want to be sure that our climate is actually an inner world that produces positive energy. That then allows us to go out into the world being fully present, fully hold, fully available for life, open-hearted. That's your climate, all of that stuff. And so we can have really good climate in general or we could have really bad climate in general. And I kinda, I like Winnie the Pooh references because I think this makes it a lot of sense. You know, Winnie the Pooh. So Eeyore is a climate, right? So there are people out there who have that gloomy Solon like pessimistic outlook on life. That's their climate. They're very warlike in nature. And then you've got triggers. And triggers are like get up and go when everything's gray and let's look for the bright side of things and let's go. That is a climate. And the reality is, is that nobody's born in E, or nobody is born a trigger, nobody is born a poo when terms of climate. But what ends up happening for a lot of us in life is that instead of focusing on, are on ourselves, which is this strategy number 1, focus on you. We focus on the external conditions of our lives and we allow what we see on the outside to determine our climate, on the insight, and that is where the problem lives. So when I say establish your climate and build your life around it, meaning establish your climate and think about who do I want to be in this new life that I'm carving out? Who do I want to be when I start over and what kind of climate does that version of me living establish your climate and then build your life around it, which means don't let the conditions of your life, especially the current temporary conditions of your life, train you into a certain climate. And a lot of people have loud, you know, the drama and the things that are going wrong currently in their lives to train them into a climate of being an IOR rather than a ticker. So here's what I want to tell you about that. The key to this one in terms of how do you, how do you establish your climate and build your life around it so that you are doing strategy number 1, you are focusing on you. It is all about reminding yourself vigilant on a moment by moment basis. Get to decide how I feel. Nothing external to me does. Let me say that again. I get to decide how I feel. Nothing external to me does. You don't have to feel like crap because you're hanging out with people who feel like crap. That's a choice you're making. You don't have to be around people who make you feel like crap. You could choose to kick them to the curb. You don't have to look at your financial troubles, financial problems, lack of career opportunity, and start to use the current temporary circumstances of that to say, I'm a bad person, I'm awful with money, I'm no good. You don't have to go down that road if you don't want to. So if you're going to focus on you, I want you to focus on building a climate, establishing a climate with yourself. It says, on a regular basis, I want to feel confident. I want to feel hopeful. I want to feel positive. I want to feel energized. I want to call vital. And then you say, Okay, so what are the external condition that I now have to create in my life to ensure that I consistently have that climate. So let me give you an example. Rather than saying, I need to feel energized, but should eat like crap. You see yourself. I want to establish a climate for myself where I feel vital, I feel vibrant, I feel full with nurturing foods. So what do I have to do to establish and keep that climate? Well, first of all, I'm going to decide that that's possible for me. Second of all, I'm going to say that's my standard. And third of all, I'm going to make sure I cut junk out of my diet so I'm not feeling like crap when I have a sugar high and then a sugar crash. Again. You're not starting with the flu. You're starting with what climate do I want to establish? And what are the things that are going to enable me not just to establish the climate, but to keep it there. So when I say strategy number one is focused on you, part of focusing on us knowing the German, determining how you want to feel. It's also saying, what is the climate that I want to live in? Do I want to be a hopeful person? Do I want to be optimistic? Do I want to be somebody who loves simply because I can love rather than saying I love you, if you, if you know on this Can, Do you want to be conditional? Do you want to be uncut? Like who do you want to be? And what does that climate feel like to you in a consistent basis? And once you've established the climate, certain noticing the things that take you away from your climate and say, I'm not letting the conditions of my life. Other people dictate whether I'm either a ticker today. I'm going to start up the setting that I'm going to be ticker. And when I start to notice that there are things in my environment or people in my environment that are pulling me into the ER category. I'm going to distance myself from them. And I'm going to focus on the things that actually bring me joy that actually keep me in the climate that I want to be in and I'm going to not have the rest here today. And so that's what it means to establish your climate and build your life around it. Which again, allows you to just simply by establishing your climate and then building your life around it and allows you to do strategy number 1, which is focus on you. 10. How to Make YOU Your Priority: Strategy number one is focused on you and I want to spend a little bit of time talking about how to make you your priority. In other words, how do you mindset wise? How would you truly make you your priority, especially if you spent years or decades putting everybody else before yourself because you felt that that was what was needed or because you felt that's what made you worthy or valuable or any of the stuff we tell ourselves about why we put ourselves last in the priority list. I think people find it super challenging to put themselves first aid because it feel selfish, be because they really haven't been good at doing that before. And see because they're getting messages from everybody close to them, that they like you better when you put them first. Which logically that makes sense, right? Who wouldn't like you better in terms of feeling good about what they're getting from you when you put them before yourself, who wouldn't enjoy that kind of attention? I don't know anybody who would enjoy it. But just because other people enjoy what they get from you when you put yourself last, doesn't mean it actually serves you and doesn't mean it actually truly serves them. They're feeling good about it. But they haven't seen the flip side of the coin when you show up to relationship with them being fully available, whole, full. They don't know what that u looks like or that experience of you is like. So how would they know if they, if they like this, this people pleaser not putting yourself first better. They, they don't know. And so I wanna talk a little bit about how do you put you first because you can do it in big and small ways. And so oftentimes when people have been people pleasing for a long time, they resist this idea of putting themselves first. And I'm in second, third, me for, I mean, first. And they resisted because they go There's no way I can do that. There's like it would people would be upset with me. It would throw missed. There's no way can do it. I'm here to tell you if your goal is to begin again. If your goal is to carve out a new life path for yourself, the reason why strategy number one is focused on you is because you haven't been focusing on you, which is why you feel stuck, which is why you also feel the calling to begin again. So let's talk about this. There are very little ways, small ways that you can actually make you your priority. Let me give you a few examples. Do you go to bed early enough and to wake up and get at least six to eight hours of sleep a night. Do you do that? If your answer is no, then I'm going to say, you know what the best thing you could do right now to make you your priority would be get the sleep you need. Now, I'm not saying asleep you want because that's not always possible. Again, I've had babies. So I know that in that first year of life with breastfeeding every two hours, like eight hours of sleep and that was the one that wasn't on the shelf of my life in that season. Now it is. So I'm saying, given where you are in your life, what season of life you're in. Are you getting the sleep that you need or are you staying up late to accommodate other people to either accommodate work or accommodate spouses or like who are you accommodating are trying to put before yourself and therefore not getting to bed on time and waking up when you need to wake up and being rested when you wake up. That's one way you could nip that in the bud right here now. Are you eating well? Or are you always on the go, always on the run? And when I say eating well, that doesn't mean you need to meal prep. You might not have three hours a week to meal prep. That doesn't mean that you spent an extraordinary amount of money on all organic foods, maybe you can't afford that. But what it does look like is you set a standard for your life or you go, I don't go more than four hours with eating something. Therefore, I will take the time to make sure I have caches in my bag. I have protein bars on my bed. I make sure that I bring with me, even though I'm constantly on the go on the run, those things are going to feel my body and I stop every three to four hours. Okay. Where am or what I'm doing and I feed myself something that's good for me because I am my priority. That's how you make yourself a priority. Not a big thing, but a little thing that really has big effects. So you have to really remember something about me, about making you your number one priority. And a lot of people might take this wrong. I'm just gonna say it anyway. You are your longest commitment. Let me say it again. I don't care if you've been married 50 years, 30 years, 20 years, 15 years. You are your longest commitment period. U is u in U for, for the lifespan of your u and u. Since you are your longest commitment, you have to start to really look at what does it look like to have a great relationship with myself? What does having a great relationship with me it look like, what does having a great relationship with myself? Why you're me? How am I spending time with myself? How am I nurturing my inner child? How am I doing self-care and enemies, self-care like bubble baths, although those are nice. I mean, self-care like making sure you do have protein bars in your purse or in your book bag, so that you can give yourself the food you need in the moment that you're needed, even though you're running from one place to the next. It means, how do I have a great relationship with myself and my listening to my inner knowing, am I trusting myself? If I'm Tiger, do I give myself permission to rest? I mean, these are like they sound like little things. Only there you through huge when it comes to focusing on you. So make you your number one priority by doing these little things that signal to you on a deep level that yes, I care enough about me to make sure I go to bed on time. I care enough about me to make sure I pack snacks. I care enough about me to make sure that when I'm exhausted, I don't keep pushing and keep working. I go, you know, and I'm closing the laptop. I'm going to go watch Netflix and chill because my brain is done. That's what it means to make you your number one priority. 11. 3 Ways to Level Up Your Life: To continue our discussion of strategy number 1, which is focused on you, I want to introduce three ways to level up your life. So focusing on you is really about even beginning again is really about focusing on you. If you want to carve out a new life path. If you want to start again, start over. If you want to begin with a fresh start, a clean slate, so to speak, then there are certain things you can do to level up your life and moving into a new life path. Beginning again does require that you do level up and become a different version of you, a more powerful version of you. So here are three ways that you can level up your life. Number 1, do your inner work. So in our work can take thousands of different forms. Only you know what's best for you. And when I say inner work, I mean forgiveness, especially of yourself. The forgiveness work is critical. Me, inner work. Whether it's Louisa, Hey, you can heal your life or you're doing Joe dispenses work or you're doing I'm just trying to think somatic therapy. So you're working on healing trauma, whatever it is, seeing a therapist, hiring a life coach, you gotta, you gotta work through the stuff that you haven't been willing to face in order to carve out a new life path. So do your inner work. It is how you embody strategy number 1, which is focused on you. You can also find a new try. One of these days I'm gonna write a book called inner circular, inner cage. And I'm going to talk about the power of firing people from your inner circle. I won't do that today, but, you know, I've said this to many clients. Some people that are in your inner circle have no business being there and you need to fire them. No two weeks notice dropping like it's hot. Find a new tribe. You know, anytime you want to go from one level of your life to the other, one of the things that will hold you back and that will constrain you and keep you from focusing on you. Are the people you're consistently hanging around. If they're not going where you want to go, if they aren't where you want to be, if they are yours and not triggers, but you want to be a ticker, keeping those people close to you. And I might even go so far as to say keeping them in your life is going to be very challenging to you, focusing on you and you leveling up. So I'm not saying drop people out of your life because maybe their family members. And so there are energy drains, but their family members, you can't just assign them. What I am saying is create a new tribe that embodies this new life path. You want to go down this beginning again that you wanna do, find a new group of friends or new group of people, a new inner circle that really embodies the leveling up that you want to do in your life. Because in the long run, it is very true that we become the people we hang around the most. And you want to be sure that whoever you're around, they are elevating you and not denigrating you. So finding new tribe. Third thing you can do to really level up your life. Get Fit, get in shape. Now, fit is different for every body. Every body. Your definition of fit maybe super different from my definition of fit. If there's one transformation that is physical that I would say having been a personal trainer a long time ago, if there's one transformation that I can tell you, wil, will force you to level up mentally, physically, energetically. It is that the journey of losing weight and getting fit, and you may have only five pounds to lose. You may have a 100 pounds to lose. But there's something about prioritizing your nutrition and your fitness. And then carving out a new body. Because you're doing both of those things that literally changes the game for your life and levels you up in many, many ways. Now, you're not doing that because you're like, I'm fat and I'm not good enough. Like if you're losing weight from that paradigm, what's going to happen is you're going to lose the weight and you're going to still feel not good enough only now you're going to be I've lost. So this way I have loose skin or I don't look good or look to man like what you're gonna say. So if you're, if you're starting a journey like that, like physical transformation from a not good enough place. You will still feel not good enough when you get to the goal. So there's a big mindset piece to this. But if you start from a place of saying, I want to put my health first, I want to put my desire to have the body I want first. And I am good enough to do that right here. I will be good enough over there, but I want to actually challenge myself and see what I can do physically to transform. That's a good mindset to do this with. And so getting fit, whatever your definition of fit is, is a third way that you can level up your life. 12. Strategy #2: Create Milestones: Strategy number two is create milestones that liked you up. So we are talking about five strategies to carve out a new life path. Essentially, how do you begin again from any point in your life? And so strategy number 2 is about creating milestones and not just any milestones, but milestones that when you think about getting to those moments along this journey of carving out a new life path. You're excited. You can't wait, you can close your eyes, you can see it, taste it, touch it, smell it does all those things for you. And so strategy number two, create milestones at that light you up. Now how do we even start doing that is the question, and here's the answer. You've got to start with the vision. You've got to ask yourself some really important questions. So whenever we say begin again, people think, Okay, am I starting over? What does that mean? What does that look like? Well, you start with the vision and you've got to create the vision. And it has to be something that when you think about the vision of the version of you that you're going to be when you get onto that new life path, it lights you up inside. And so before we can even get to creating milestones, we've got to actually start with division. So who will you be on your new life path? What version of you do you see when you close your eyes and you think about starting over, you think about beginning again. How do you walk, how you talk? What do you do for a living? When do you wake up? When do you go to sleep? Who will you be in that new life path? At the finish line? Like once you have started over, once you feel like man, I am on a new life path. What does that look like to be at that finish line? Who are you at that finish line? How are you different from the version of you that you are today? What are the differences between who you are right now and who you're going to be when you get to your new life. What, what is that distinction and how are you different? Why do you want to become a different version if you, why do you want to even go on a new life path? Why are you being called to more? Understanding the why behind your vision is also super, super important. And then what in your life will change when you get onto your new life path? This is a really important question. I think a lot of people walk around feeling like, I want a different life. I want this. I want a different life. Lots of people walk around feeling that way, but they never go so far as to ask and answer the question, what in my life will change when I'm on a new life path? Like what's going to be different is where I live, going to be different is what I do for a living going to be like. And I love to use solutions focused therapy or coaching. They have something called the miracle question. And the miracle question, this is where it comes to like what my life will change when I'm on a new life path. So the miracle question says, let's say you went to bed tonight and you woke up in the morning and your life was totally different. Your life was everything you wanted it to be. You woke up in a brand new life. So you went to sleep, a magic wand got waved to what's called the miracle question. You woke up and your life is completely different. It was exactly what you wanted it to be. How would you know that it was different? What would be happening? What would you be experiencing? What would tell you when you woke up and got out of bed the next morning that a miracle had happened and that you are in a totally different life. That's the same kind of question as what in your life will change when you do carve out a new life path. So the first thing you've got to do to create milestones that light you up, which is strategy number 2, is start with the vision. 13. Plan Out the Milestones: Okay, so in order to create milestones that light you up, one of the core things you have to do. After you have the vision, you can close your eyes, you can see who you would be in that, on that new life path. You could see where you would be at that finish line once you've got the vision. Now what you've gotta do to create milestones that let you up is you have to actually plan out the milestones. This is where the project manager and me loves to live in the planning phase because so much of where we go in life is a result of us actually charting out a course and making the necessary adjustments to that plan as we go along. And so in order to create milestones that let you up, you need to plan out the milestones and what does that actually look like? So when you're beginning again, when you want to start over, there are so many moving parts to this. Like I cannot, I cannot underscore enough. The power. I can't underscore enough the power of planning. And some people love planning and some people hate planning. But I can't underscore enough that when you, So I have I have begun again or started over in situations where life sort of forced me into it, you know, stuff hit the fan. I didn't see it coming. Like I was like, there were times when you're thrown into a new life because of sudden unexpected things that come up, life storms that happen. And I've also had begin again opportunities where I chose the path. I was intentional and deliberate about charting out a new course. And I can tell you that the charting out your own new chorus and deciding that you're going to begin again is so much more fun than being thrust by life. So let's go there. But it's also what I'm learning and what I have learned about when you're choosing to carve out a new life path for yourself, it takes a long time. It's not like a six month deal. And because it takes a long time, typically hears you want to be super intentional and not just about this is the new life. I want the vision, but you also want to be intentional about, okay, here is my initial, because the plants can change an initial plan for getting there. And here are all the steps that have to happen, not to overwhelm you with all the steps, but to at least be aware of what they are. And then here is the sequence of priorities of the steps. And then after you have all of that on paper, then you just go cabinet, put my blinders on next three steps. I'm going to only focus on the next three steps. But to get to that, let me only focus on the next three steps to carving out a new life path. You really have to plan out your milestones. So let me put my project manager hat on again. The way that you plan out your milestones is you really need to start with, I would say get a journal, get a notebook. Pen and papers best. And you really have to ask yourself the question, what will it require for me to begin again? What will it require for me to carve out a new life path? What will it require of me to become the next level version of myself? Is that an additional degree? Is that saving a certain amount of money? Is that buying a house? Is that moving across the country? Is that losing a certain amount of weight like put in a journal somewhere. What are the requirements for you to get to the vision we talked about in the last video. To get to that vision of yourself at the finish line. So put down all the requirements then once you've brainstorm all the, all the requirements of like okay, a new life path for me would mean that I have done this, this, this and this, I've achieved this, this, this and this. I have this, this, this and this. And here are the things that are going on in my new life. And here is how I'm showing up to that new life. Once you've written down all of those descriptors, then you need to say, okay, what are all the steps that will be required for me to get to that new life. And now you're brainstorming all the steps. You're writing them down also in the same journal or a notebook. Just don't worry about the order of the steps when you get to this part once you've identified, okay, what what will that new life require of me? And you're brainstorming all the steps. Just put a brainstorm mind-map that put all the steps on paper. Order priorities. Not that we're not there yet. Brainstorm all the steps, then you're going to step back. After you've put all the steps you think it's going to take to create that new life on paper, then you're going to say, okay, what are the key milestones? Okay, what are the key milestones that need to happen along the way? In other words, of all the steps that I just wrote down, what is the sequence and the priority of those steps? What order do they need to happen? And then you will now take all the steps you brainstormed and you will list them out by sequence and priority. So use go, what are the most important steps? What are the key milestones you put them first? What sequence to those prioritize steps need to happen in? So now you're taking all the steps you brainstormed and now you're putting them in the proper order based on priority in sequence. And then you say, okay, so of all of these steps, now that they're in order from start to finish from what I see right now, because that that's going to change as you do it. What are those key milestone moments of all this? Which steps represent the key milestones that let me know that I'm well on my way to carving out a new life path. So those are the steps very project management based, very like, Okay, what is it going to require? Write all that down. What are the steps to meet those requirements? Brainstorm all of those. Then take all those steps and list them in order of priority and sequence priority first, sequence seconds. And then you say, what are the key milestones based on now the priority and sequence of steps I have. Which one of these represent key points along the journey to my new life and identify those key milestones. That is how you begin strategy number 2, once you have the vision of creating milestones that light you up. 14. 5 Ways to Fall in Love with the Process: So once you've planned out your milestones, once you have your vision, the last piece of creating milestones, that light, that lights you up really is about learning how to fall in love with the process of becoming great. I think so many of us want to get to the finish line, right? You want to get to I just want to get to my new life. I just want to start over. I just want like Can I close my eyes and have this whole phase of working to start over b over and just be in my new life. And what ends up happening is it's kind of like what a course in miracles says, which is infinite patience produces immediate results. Let me say that again because it's taken me years to really understand what that means. Infinite patience produces immediate results. It is only when we are infinitely patient that life seems to move much faster. But when we're sitting in every moment going is, are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we very, are we there yet? Then everything goes slower. And so one of the things you can do to create milestones that light you up is you can learn how to fall in love with the process of becoming great. Now being somebody who's super impatient, who wants to get to the goal Yesterday, I totally get it. If you're like, I don't really know how to do that and don't even know if I can do that. Let me give you some examples of things you can do to learn how to fall in love with the process. So number one, you can create on a daily basis for yourself a daily challenge and put all of each day's energies into the challenge of the day. So you sort of force yourself with a daily challenge to be in today. And whatever the challenge is, it's connected to one of the milestones that get you to the new life. But instead of focusing on all of the key milestones that get you to the new life every single day you wake up and you go, okay. I'm going to challenge myself to get this one piece done before I go to bed. That I know is one of the steps that's going to get me to my new life. So I won't focus on the new life or getting there. But I'll focus on today. I'm challenging myself to do because it's going to get me to that new life. And so when you set it life as a daily challenge, then it forces you to be more in today than in when am I going to get there? And it helps you fall in love with the process of becoming great. The next thing you can really do is this is a hard one. You got to let go of the time and that's going to take I think I've said this earlier and I hope I'm I'm really hitting this home. Starting over can take a long time. It can take years. And I think we watched so many movies that portray shifts in life like that. So quickly, write in a two hour film, their whole world changes. And I think we're so used to the immediate gratification of we can call an Uber with our phone, right? We can order an Uber, we can order from Uber Eats DoorDash. Like we live in such a fast-paced world were things that used to be so challenging to come by r so quick that I think when it comes to starting over or beginning again, we also have a bias of thinking like that supposed to happen in months. Or even in weeks and years. And so another thing you can do to really fall in love with the process of carving out a new life path. So that you do create milestones that light you up and that you actually enjoy as you're working towards them, is you've got to learn how to put whole mind in present action. Those are the words of Wallace Stevens models that he wrote in a book called The Science of getting rich, put whole mind and present action. In other words, the all here. Now, meaning as you're taking this course, be here with me. Now thinking about, well, what I'm going to do after I watched this video or what I'm going to do next week or what do I? Future focus is great. I'm a very future focused person. But at the end of the day, if I'm not doing in this moment, what I've got to do to get to that future me focusing on that features. A total waste of time because I'm not actually handling business in this moment. Hermite in present action to get me to the next moment, which then gets me to my future. So in order for you to fall in love with the process of carving out a new life path. It is super important that you really do your best to get yourself to be present, whole mind, present action, home might. Next thing you can do to fall in love with the process and start filling the way you want to feel. We talked about this in terms of asking questions like, when you wake up you go, how do I want to feel today? Start feeling the way you want to feel. In other words, let, let me clear this up a little bit. Start today to give yourself permission to feel the way you're going to feel in your new life. If you're new life is going to feel free and fun and purpose-driven and satisfying. You know, like do things today, they're going to give you those same feelings. So maybe you want to move across the country and you know, that's two years out. And you know that to move across the country into live in a different state, in a place that you want to live or different country is fulfilling. And it feel satisfying than maybe the way you get to the feeling of satisfying today as you eat it, a delicious piece of chocolate. And as you eat the chocolate, you really savor the chocolate and you feel satisfied eating that piece of chocolate. Now the satisfying feelings going to last all of about a minute as you eat a piece of chocolate. But you're still allowing yourself and giving yourself permission to feel today, that sense of satisfaction, that when you get to that next move in two years, you're going to feel by making the move. Which again, let me just say this because I think a lot of people don't understand this. When you're carving out a new life path and you actually do it and you actually get there. It's going to feel satisfying for a minute. I mean, it's good for great for a couple minutes, maybe a day, maybe a week if you're moving to new locations. But eventually that feeling, that, that victorious feeling goes away. It goes away. And so when I say, find ways to feel those feelings right now, as fleeting as the satisfaction feels when you eat a piece of chocolate. It's going to be that fleeting when you move to the place you want to move to right now when you're not living in a place you want to live. It doesn't seem that way. It seems like all once I moved to the place I want to be I'm going to feel satisfied all the time. No, No, You won't. You'll achieve the goal. You'll cover in your life path. He also satisfy for five seconds and then anybody, Okay, what's the next thing? So it's important to keep in mind that feelings are fleeting. But you can give yourself permission to feel today the way you're going to feel when you've carved out a new life path. So really focus on how do I want to feel, how do I think I'm going to feel in that new life path? And then find ways to feel that way today. Give yourself permission to do that other thing. Express gratitude for every part of the journey, including the sexy stuff. This is hard. This is our, There's going to be a lot of sucky moments on the way to carving out a new life path. I do not want to underscore the reality that beginning again is challenging for anybody. It, you're going to have moments where you second guess yourself, you're going to have moments where you go. Is this really working? Why is this taking so long? You're going to have, you're going to detour moments where you think you're on the right path and then all sudden you hit this brick wall and you go, well, I got to turn back. I gotta go ten steps back because I have to go on a different route. And those are going to stop. They're going to suck bad. And so, it's so important when you're using strategy number two, which again is create milestones that light you up, that you find a way. Like sometimes if it was like you're making it up, but you find a way to feel grateful for everything that's happening, cleaning the psyche stuff. You give every experience along the way to your new life path. A very empowered meaning. You say, okay, that really sucked, but that happens so I could learn this. So I could see this. So I could make a different decision. You've gotta give everything including the heart, self empowering meanings so that you really can find a way to feel grateful and you know what? Sometimes gratitude is hard. I remember doing a podcast episode where I talked about getting going home from a particular event and having a layover at an airport in my state and being so angry about the layover and the I mean, just I could not cultivate gratitude for the layover because it delayed me getting home a day. I couldn't find gratitude. And in that podcast episode, I was really blatant about saying there was not there was not an ounce of gratitude my body, so I get it. There will be moments where cultivating gratitude for what it is is very, very challenging. And moments when you won't be able to do it. So give yourself grace. But what I am saying is for the most part, we can always find ways 90 percent of the time to find something to be grateful for, especially in the hard moments, because the hard moments strengthen us. The hard moments they define us, but they also show us who we really are because, you know, it's easy to be nice and optimistic and positive when things are going the way you want them to. When things are not going the way you want them to, that you want to see how do you really show up for life? And then to really say, OK, How can you do it differently next time? And there is gratitude to be had for those lessons. So gratitude is another way that you can fall in love with the process of becoming great. Fifth way you can fall in love with the process. Becoming great of carving out a new life path is really trust yourself to know what to do next. I mean, it goes back to that self trusting that we talked about, but, but trust yourself to know what to do next really means you don't have to have it all figured out and you don't have to have it all planned. And you know what, There is a way for you to you may not have everything figured out and you may not know every single step and you may not be totally clear on what should come next. But so long as you trust yourself to know what to do next, even in moments where you don't have a clear picture of what to do, you can get quiet. You can listen. And then you can say, Okay, I'm going to bet on me. I'm going to just make a move and I'll learn from it whenever the outcome, I'll learn from it. So it's really important that if you want to fall in love with the process of carving out a new life. So it's becoming great that yes, you've got to trust yourself to know what to do next, even when you don't really know what to do now. 15. Strategy #3: Change Your Tribe: The third strategy to carve out in your life path, essentially to begin again, is one of my favorite strategies to talk about, because it's one, it's a strategy that we don't leverage enough. And it has such a powerful impact on our lives and our ability, our desert again, that it's worth speaking about. It's worth having a class by itself. I know I'm not going to do a whole class by itself on, I'm going to write a book about this though. But this is something that I'm super passionate about and hear a strategy number 3, you want to be getting at. If you want to carve out a new life path, he got to change your trial. I set it. You can call it tribe, you can call it inner circle. You can call it your core group of friends. You can call it the five people you spend the most time with. If you want to begin again, you have got to change your tribe. And here's why you remember how your mother told you in your little that you become the company you keep? That's true. I know a lot of what mom said may not be true, but that one that is true. You become the company you keep. Here's the other thing. There is no leveling up. If you're constantly in the presence of people who pull you down, let me say that again. There is no leveling up in your life. If you are constantly in the presence of people who pull you down, There's no leveling up. So and let me share my own personal anecdote about that. There was a time in my life, in my 20s to my 30s where I really hated that concept. What I just said, I really rebelled against it. The, I, I really firmly stood in the territory of saying, knowing can still your shine. No one could impact your life unless you let them know and can bring you down unless you allow it. I was firmly of the belief in my 20s and 30s that you could be in the presence constantly of somebody who's super negative. And if you decided how you're going to feel that day, then you almost had a invisible shield around you. And so you could be with anybody in the presence of anybody and still be on your path and still get to your path. Now, I'm in my forties. Let me tell you a little how I sort of changed that belief. Do I believe that as human beings, we have complete control over how we think, what we say, what we do, who we give our power away to or whether or not we even give our power away. Yes. However, let me add what I've learned in life about this. While you could be in the presence of, you can be in a really toxic work environment and still find ways to succeed well, you could mean a very toxic relationship and still fun weeds to be yourself and to do your thing and to achieve your goals. The problem with having a really bad inner circle. Or really negative tribe. Is that yes, you can still achieve all those things. Yes, you can still level up. But it's like trying to get to a destination on asphalt versus trying to get to a destination moving through mud. It's going to take you so much longer to get there. When you're dealing with the mud of negative influences, other people, negative or toxic people. So can you still get there in most situations? Yes. Will it be way harder and take way longer unnecessarily, if you keep the wrong people in your inner circle are in your tribe. Yes. So the lesson that I learned is, while we all still control what we think, what we feel, what we say, what we do, who we give our power to, who we don't. Why would we introduce or keeping our lives negative people who only drag us down, who only hold us back, for whom we have to work three times as hard to get to the same spot of leveling up. When if we just let them go and we just dropped, fire them from the inner circle, we can move so much faster without all of that, right? Like life is hard enough, white add unnecessarily unnecessary elements of hardship to it. That's the lesson that I've learned in the caveat to that. What am I saying? It's very hard to level up if you if the people closest to you, our negative Nelly naysayers, skeptics, judge, you criticize you for wanting more, for going for more. Try to keep you down with them. Any of that sort of energy drain, emotional vampire dysfunction that a lot of people know what I'm talking about. Gotta go. Gotta go. If you're going to begin again, there's just no room and there's no time if it's gonna take you years to, to really carve out a new life path. Do you want to add even a year to that because you're dealing with people who shouldn't even be in your inner circle in the first place? I think not. So keep in mind that who you choose to allow into your inner circle, who you choose to allow it to stay in your inner circle. They will cost you your dreams if you let them. We're talking about the negative influences. So if you keep your sister and your inner circle and you say, Well, she's my sister and I I know she's an emotional vampire, but I like I can't just assume I said I'm not saying disowned your sister. I'm saying she doesn't need to be in your inner circle. Like you can create some distance. And at the end of the day, here's it's true. Your inner circle, when you keep those energy drains those emotional vampires in it, they will cost you your dreams if you let them. So strategy number 3 and we're gonna continue talking about this is change your tribe. If you're gonna go higher, you gotta travel light. And if you're going to travel light, you need to go higher with people who see your vision, share your vision, have already achieved division like yours. Or at least clap when you, when you're not like at least people who are happy for your happiness. That is strategy number 3, change, you're trying. 16. How to Find Your Tribe: Okay, so strategy number 3 is change your tribe if you want to begin again, if you want to carve out a new life path, you've got to change your tribe. And we just talked about what your inner circle is costing you, meaning when you allow negativity to live in your inner circle, when you allow energy draining people and emotional vampires to stay in an inner circle that is yours, that they don't belong in. We just talked about what that costs you. Now what I want to talk about is, how do you actually find your tribe? If you're looking for under life and you're saying, like, I need a new group of friends where I don't have any friends. Why I've been so on my own and so isolated that I don't I don't even know where to start at my age and my stage of life. I don't you know, or even if you're in your 20s, you're like college gave me built-in friends and now that amount of college, I don't even know how to do that and I don't want to go to a bar and I don't wanna go to a club like, how do I find my tribe? This is going to be a good module for you because I do want to talk about how to find your tribe. Let me start by saying that there's no point no point in looking for a tribe until you've set the standards for being in one. Let me say that again. There is no point in going in search of a tribe until you've set the standards for being in one. So remember, you're looking for a tribe of people. Not a click, like you're not looking to enter somebody's click. You're looking to have people be attracted to an enter your tribe and become a part of your tribe. So the person has got to set the standards for what it means to be a part of the tribe, since it's your tribe is actually you, it's you. And so you need to answer some questions. You need to pull out a journal, pen paper. And you need to, you need to really think about before you even go in search of a tribe. You need to think about some things like, what are my standards? What am I boundaries? Who do I actually want to be around? What kinds of people? What are their personality characteristics? What are they working on? What are the Achieving? Are the in a certain industry, do they live in a certain geographic location or can they be all over the world? Who inspires me? Like who, who wrote my role models. And if I were to say, man, if I could just be mentored by them and look at those role models and what are the characteristics of those people that you would like to see enter your tribe in the form of other people. You know, what qualities are you looking for in someone who's going to be in your inner circle? Let's get through a difficult question now. All the qualities that you're looking for, for members of your inner circle or your tribe. How do you embody those qualities? Because here's the truth. This is a quote I'm sure you've heard at your vibe attracts your triad. Let me say to get your thigh attracts your tribe. So you can't be in a Winnie the Pooh scenario, an IOR. And you want to have a triumphal of triggers like you gotta get to the ticker territory yourself. And then you will naturally attract other triggers. But all the qualities that you say you want and people who are in your inner circle, do you actually embody them? And if you don't embody them, what are you gonna do to change in your life into your habits and what you do every single day to begin to embody them so you can attract those qualities or characteristics. What will it take for you to actually embody the qualities you say you're looking for in your inner circle. And where can you find those kinds of people? The thing about it is, I gave you a very simple example, especially having been a personal trainer years ago. You cannot say that she wanted to become someone. Let's say you're totally unfit right now, totally sedentary unfit. You're like, I couldn't even do the Couch to five K up. Okay. But you say to yourself on the back of your mind, my vision for my new life is that I want to be fit. I want to run marathons. Maybe I want to do bodybuilding show. Or do you just say, I just wanted to Spartan Races. I just want to be so fat. That part of what I do two different times the years I run Spartan races. Number 1, if, if that's a new life path that you're carving for yourself, going from somebody who's very unfit to somebody who is extremely fit. That's a whole new life right there. Like you don't change your job. That is a whole new life. You are beginning again in your fitness. So you need an inner circle that can support that kind of vision, that can support those kinds of goals. So if you're still hanging out with friends who want to go to the local diner every Friday, Saturday and Sunday. And 6 thousand calories at a city. And don't work out, how do you expect to get to the place where you're going to be doing three Spartan races a year, you actually got to find the people and surrender. So with the people who are doing Spartan races or who are training for Spartan races. You have to start to get around the people who are living that lifestyle and hang out with them because then you'll be doing the same things they're doing. But you can't stay with the same friends were like, Why can't you have a Sunday go run? Why don't you like stay up till midnight and then don't wake up on time to go do your run. And then we go to the diner in the morning for a big breakfast. That's not going to work. Soccer work. So you have to remember a, your vibe. It tracks your tribe, be, your vibe is based on what you do and who you are choosing to be in every moment. And what are the decisions you're making as a result of who you're choosing to, B, and then C, You've gotta get around the people who are where you want to use a certain living the way that they live in doing the things that they do. And not to say that you are prescribing their specific approach to you because again, they're not you, you're not them. Their specific approach is probably not going to work for you in its entirety. But it's going to get you lot closer to hang out with the Spartan Race folks. Then it is the people want to go the diners on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. So again, to apply strategy number 3, which is change your tribe. You've got to make sure that you know how to find the tribe of people that you're looking for. And it always begins with you. It always begins with you embodying the qualities that you say you want. But before you can embody the qualities that you say you want, you need to set what the standards are like. What are the standards for your inner circle? What are the standards for the people you want? You're like, what are the standards? And then you got to live into that. And then you'll start to attract that. And you will also get better at saying no to anyone who is not. That the boundaries, things, everything. So that is how to find your tribe. 17. Who Belongs in Your Inner Circle?: All right, we are still in strategy number 3, which is change your tribe. And what I want to talk about right now is who actually belongs in your inner circle. So your inner circle should be at max three to five people. It's small. It is not a conflict by any stretch of the imagination. It really is smaller than a click. Typically, it should be three to five people, three to five people, max and five is a lot. By the way. I love inner circles of three to four. I think two is a little small, but it still works, especially for those of us who are introverts. But three to five people is a good number for your inner circle. Now your inner circle represents the group of people who can see your vision. Who can hold your vision, who will clap when you end? Who will call you on your poop? When you're not acting right? Okay. Who will hold you accountable for doing the things you say you want to do. These are the people who you will hear clearly, right? Like some people will try to hold you accountable and you'll get all defensive. The people in your inner circle are the people that you trust enough to, when they call you on your stuff. You may be a little upset about it, but she go. Okay. Fine. Yes. Yes, I take it those are the people who actually belong in your inner circle. So they're three to five people. They can see your vision, they can hold your vision, they can hold space for you. They can call you on your stuff. They can hold you accountable and you allow them to do that. Now, your inner circle is also embodied by people who actually clap when you win. Let me sit on this one for a minute. Because sometimes you think you've got somebody in your inner circle who sees your vision? They hold your vision. They will call you out on your stuff. They hold you to a high standard. But the problem with that, with those people is that whenever you do succeed based on their involvement, most of the time, they seem a little jealous of you. They seem a little they have a little like there's a little bit of, I don't know, animosity about you winning. Those people don't belong in your inner circle. If they don't clap when you, when I'm going to help you out. Like forget the other standards you set for inner circle members. If they don't clap when you win. If there's any level of envy or jealousy or, or, or belittling of your accomplishments. They have no business being in your inner circle. None. Fired, not even two weeks notice fired. So I'm just saying members of your inner circle, they should get you, they should know you. They should see you. They should be able to validate you, call you on herself and the clap when you win. Those are the criteria. Besides the standards you're sad that we talked about before? Those are the criteria for anyone who's even going to be considered to be in your inner circle. 18. Strategy #4: Work with a Support Team: Okay, we are talking about five strategies that you can use to carve out a new life path. Now, it's good to strategy number four, which is going to assign sounds Hooper, businessy, career professional project manager, but it's so for real. And I'm going to help you understand how that relates to your personal and your professional life. So if you want to carve out a new life path, if you want to begin again. Strategy number four is this. Work with a support team. Work with our support team. You need a support team. Now, you might be thinking to me, thinking, what do you mean as it were obtained? You mean like I need to hire a personal assistant to help me organize my life. Not exactly. We're going to get into it. But first I want to give you four reasons that Yes, no matter where you're beginning again, no matter how you're starting over, if it's in one area of real life or all areas of your life. Let me give you four reasons why you need a support team. Reason number one, nobody does it alone. Okay. No man is an island. I've tried it. I've tried to be an island. It doesn't work. No one does it alone. So you need a support team simply for the fact that if you want to go farther faster, you're gonna do it together with other people. So the first reason units support team is the pure and simple fact that nobody does alone. The second reason you need a support team is because accountability I've talked about this is a key to follow through. You listen, you could be the most self-disciplined, focused on IT. Person that you know. And having an accountability partner will still make it better. It'll still make you more endpoint. It will still make you level up faster, farther, you name it. So reason number 2 that you need a support team is accountability is a key to follow through. And what does your support team give you a accountability? The third reason you need a support team when you're beginning again, is super simple. When you have a support team, you can put all of your energy, all of your drive, all of your effort on the essential tasks. And you can delegate the rest. I'm going to talk about what the rest is. But when you have a support team, you get to focus on what's most important that the things only you can do to begin this new path and you can delegate the rest. And the fourth reason why you need a support team as you begin again, as you carve out a new life path is with a support team. You can do a John Maxwell says in one of his books, you can staff your weaknesses so you can further develop your strings. Again, we're not, we're not going for perfect when beginning again, I don't know if I've said this in this course. Let me just, let me get this out of the way. You beginning again is not about being perfect. Because if you're going for perfect was starting your life over or starting one area of relief over you will never get there because perfection sucks. It's not real, it's not true. And it's a lie that so many people buy into because they were raised to believe that they weren't enough exactly as they are. No. No. Perfection does not exist. It is like a purple walrus doesn't exist. However, when you have a support team with Reason number four, you get to stop your weaknesses so you don't have to worry about the fact that their weaknesses. So you can focus on developing your strings, which is where you should spend most of your time anyway. So those are the four reasons that yes, when you're going to begin again, where you're going to carve out a new life path. You do need a support team. Now, let's start to talk about how exactly should be on that team. 19. Who Should Be on Your Team?: So let's answer the question. Who should be on your support team? So those individuals who should be on your support team, especially as you look to begin again, to carve out a new life path. They have to be people who have strings that you don't. They've gotta be people who see your vision, can hold space for your vision, believe in your vision, and are willing to assist you with getting to that vision via their specific roles. On your support team, you've got to have people who are willing to do specific things you ask of them within a specific timeframe on a deadline. Oftentimes the members of your support team are people that you hire given the deadline, you know, follow my directions, guided thing. I think people who aren't working for you find it more challenging to do that. Those who are under support team are also they've got to be on board with your why of beginning again. So let me give you some examples of members that could be members of your support team. If you're trying to start your life over and you know, you've got a lot of inner work, Deep Work healing work to do. A therapist weekly that's a member of your support team. If you're in a lot of physical pain and you want to rehabilitate your physical body, sing a chiropractor. Chiropractors are part of your support team. A personal trainer is a part of your support team. You may want to go back to school and you really need your spouse, your partner, or family member to help you help watch your kids so you can get your study time in those individuals would be members of your support team, albeit they'd worked for free, but there's still members of the support team or hiring a nanny or a babysitter. If you don't have that level of family support, hiring a writing coach or a life coach or a business coach. So I mean, let's, let's go move. Hiring a Reiki healer, a shaman. They're part of your support team. So everybody's support team is going to look really different depending on where you're trying to begin again, how you're trying to begin again in what new life path you're going to carve. You might have a financial planner because you wanna get your money on order. Your house in order. That would be part of an attorney, would be part of a support team. So again, it's going to depend on specifically the way in which you want to begin again and the new life path that you want to carve. But all of these examples are examples of people who are in your support team. And let me say a couple of things. One, for people that you pay and for people that you don't pay. You need to have boundary conversations in advance. You need to sit down with this. People used to say, Okay, this is what I'm trying to do. Here's my y, Here's what I'm trying to do it here, the key milestones, here's one, here's the goal date for being here. I want to be in my new life. Here's how you fit into this. Here's what I'm asking you to do. Are you on board with doing this? Are you on board for fully supporting me with this? Are you on board for meeting these deadlines by these dates? Are you on board for meeting me every Thursday at 03:00 PM for therapy? Are you on board for doing this legal work for me? You want to get crystal clear with people and this is where I see people mess up with their support teams. They go, Hey, I have this dream, I want to do it. Are you on board? And then the other person goes, yeah, I'm excited. But you never talk about the specifics of the arrangement. You never talk about expectations, you never talk about boundaries, you never talk about, well, what happens if they don't follow through for you? All of that should be discussed in advance of deciding that that person is actually going to be a member of your support team. And you also need to talk about what if I find or discover at some point that or what have you discover as a member of my support team that you're not actually in full supportive when I'm doing that, you actually feel maybe some kinda resentment if you're my spouse and I'm going back to school and all my time instead, like, what if we figure out that this arrangement doesn't work, what will we do? Talk about that in advance. Don't wait till it comes up to then have to manage conflicts and set boundaries all at the same time, which is what most people do or don't do it. Have those conversations when everything's good, before you actually engage in having that support team and then, you know, see how people respond. One thing I'm going to say about support team members that are not working. Fire them quickly. Fire them quickly. Be slow to hire. Quick to fire. Slow to hire quick to fire. Trust me, you'll feel bad about it the first five times you do it, but it'll save you a lot of money, a lot of time, a lot of heartache, a lot of everything. In the long run. Slow to hire, quick to fire. They can't do that with your sister and he can go with your spouse. But those are different conversations to be had. I'm still seeing at the end of the day whether it is family members who are going to be part of your support team or people you pay, have those boundary accountability, expectation conversations in advance of both of you saying yes, we will engage in the support team relationship. So that's what you want to be able to do. Now, I'm going to talk in the next module about how to work with your support team once you've established it. 20. How to Work With Your Support Team: So strategy number 4 is work with the support team. Now I want to talk about how do you tactically practically work with your support team once you've established those individuals. So a few things. Number one, you always want to start out by sharing the deeper vision with your support team. So obviously in recruiting those people to support you, as you begin again, as you carve out a new life path, you've told them a little bit about where you're headed. But I really want you to have a vision conversation when you onboard anyone who's going to support you in this endeavor and you say, here's what it means to me, this is what it looks like. This is how I, this is how I'll know that I made it to my new life path. This is what I'm willing to give to this. You really lay out the vision as if it were a movie or you painting a picture for each of those individuals, and I would prefer that you do it on a one-on-one basis in a one-on-one setting. So you could take their questions, you could answer them. But you really want each of the members of your support team to walk away feeling like they could close their eyes. And they can imagine you in that new life. And they could see exactly who you are, exactly what was required to get you there. They are sold on the vision of you in that new life. So you definitely want to share the vision. Once you've shared the vision, then like for yourself, you want to define the milestones for each of those support team members. Is that a nanny who watches your children 20 hours a week, starting next week, and for how long you want to really define for each person, like where it, where does their role in supporting you begin? Where does it end? When does it begin? When does it end? You really want to work with them two together. Define what those key milestones are and what the metrics of success are for you and the support team member. You also want to give people specific things to do a specific guidelines, deadlines, his me deadlines. So you would never hire an Andy go well, I'll call you when I need you. Usually when you interview for a nanny or a babysitter who say, I need somebody to come in Monday, Wednesday, Friday nights from six to 10 PM. Sometimes I might come home a little bit later, 1030. So really I need you to be available from six to 11 PM. Does that work for you? So for each person, even if it's a sister or a spouse, you want to say, I need you to do the dishes five nights out of seven nights a week, preferably Monday through Friday. I can do the dishes Saturday, Sunday or could you cook every every dinner and then we do breakfast on our own. And then maybe three times a week we do lunch out or we call DoorDash or order DoorDash. Again, you've got to give every member of your support team specific things to do with specific deliverables and specific due dates or deadlines. So you've gotta give them that so that both of you can assess in a real-time basis. In real-time, like is that person fulfilling their role? Are they doing what you ask them to do? Or does there need to be a different conversation? So all of those are super important. You also want to make sure that you're working harder with him. They do. I know it sounds like common sense, but there are lots of people who actually expect other people to believe more strongly in their dreams than they do. And they expected their people to work harder on their dreams and they do. That's not how this works. If it's going to be successful, you need to make sure that with the people you have asked to support you, to help you, that you've delegated things too. That with their own eyes, they can see that you are the hardest working person in the room when it comes to rebuilding your life or beginning again or carving out a new life path. They've got a C, They're going to continue to believe in you and invest in you that the person who's working hardest to get you to your new life is you. And if they don't see that, they're going to start to doubt your vision. They're going to doubt your sincerity. And eventually they're going to stop supporting you in a good way because they're going to feel and an appropriately so they're going to feel like, why should I be working harder on getting so and so to their new life than they are not going to do that. So make sure that they can always witness that you are the hardest working person in the room. Finally, working with your support team, please please, please show gratitude for all that they do. Be grateful appreciative, care for their needs too. Never hesitate to say to them, I couldn't do this without you. I couldn't do a so appreciate I so appreciate that you're great at those, and I so appreciate that you do this for my gratitude. Goes along way to success, goes a long way to success and it gives you power and it gives the other people power. It, it, it changes the game on the connection and the level of collaboration that you can achieve with your support team. Focus on gratitude. Now, when there are moments when folks aren't doing what they're supposed to do. And there will be those moments. And there are moments when people say they would support you and they don't show up for you repeatedly. Well, see, that's not an issue if you're not being grateful enough, that's an issue of you chose the wrong person for your support team and you need to fire them immediately. Immediately. That's different. But if they're doing what they're supposed to do, if they're doing what they've been asked to do by you, if they're doing a good job. Be grateful. Share your gratitude. Show your appreciation in both words and deeds. And let them know how much, how indispensable they are to you because gratitude changes everything. All right, Now, we're going to get next to strategy number 5, which is track progress. 21. Strategy #5: Track Progress: Okay, so when we talk about the five strategies to carve out a new life path, essentially, how do you strategically, tactically and practically begin again, or CRT over? Strategy number 5 is probably people's least favorite and it is track progress and adjust accordingly. Which for most people it's released favorite, but actually it's one of my favorites because unless I have data and almost I know exactly what's happening and what I'm doing, then I have no benchmark by which to say, okay, this is going the right way or this is going the wrong way. And here's why. So if you want to be able to fail forward as you begin again, you need strategy number 5, which is to track progress and adjust accordingly. And what I want to talk about right now are the three metrics that matter. So when it comes to starting over, when it comes to beginning again, there are three metrics of tracking that matter more than any other metric you could come up with in here. They are, they are frequency. So what you do on a daily basis and I didn't say three times a week. I didn't say five times a week. I'm talking seven days a week frequency, what you do daily. The second metric that matters when it comes to beginning again is consistency. How long you pursue your new path. And it's measured in years, not months. I have said this throughout this course. Let me say it again because ten, say at 10 weighs 10 times 10 ways. There's something that says that 10 times 10 ways for people to truly get it. Consistency is measured in years, not months, I think so many people give up on starting over and beginning again because they buy into the lie that you can start over and six months or in three months, or even in a year, and then they get to the year and they go, why is my life not different? Why are things not knew? Why? They get into this whole conversation in their heads about why their life is an improved. So I want you to understand that the second metric that matters is consistency. But consistency is how long you stay the course on developing and getting to this new life path. And consistency is measured in years, not months. The third metric that matters is results. Results. At the end of the day you're getting to your new life path is all about whether you actually get there. It's about your results. And so at the end of the day, results matter. So when I say results, I don't mean you're only waiting for the big result of getting to the new life path. I literally mean every single day before you go to bed, you spend five minutes and you say, What did I do today to get myself closer to my new life path? How effective was that? Mi actually even a little bit closer to my new life path tonight. Then I was this morning than I was yesterday, that I was last week than I was last year. That's what I mean by results. And so you're looking for results that compound over time, like interests, right? Results that compound over time. But you've got to be measuring those results on a daily yes. I sent daily daily basis every night. You say, What did I do today to get me to that new life path? Did it actually bring me even a tiny bit closer if I didn't do anything today, what am I going to choose to do tomorrow? That will produce by the end of tomorrow night, me being closer to my new life path. Those are the three metrics that matter when we talk about tracking progress and adjusting accordingly. Frequency, what you do daily, consistency, how long you stay true, and on the journey to the new life path measured in years, not months. And then three results. What results you're getting on a daily basis that leads to weekly results, monthly results, lifetime results. Those are the three metrics that matter. 22. How to Track Your Progress: Let's talk about how to track your progress. Obviously, strategy number 5 is track their progress and adjust accordingly. So we've got to determine what is going to be the best way to track progress. That's really going to depend upon what area of life or areas of life you really wanted to begin again now, I am a person. I love spreadsheets. I love color-coded spreadsheets. I love to be able to see at a glance in my spreadsheet for the areas that I'm trying to change, whether I'm consistently getting them done. So I will track daily and I will put a blue Y or a red. No. And so at a glance, I can look at a period of time I've been tracking every single day and I can see at a glance, how many red boxes are there, how many nodes are there? And that will show me at a glance where I'm slacking, where I'm not being consistent. We're not producing results and also why I mean, not be producing results. So I think spreadsheets are amazing, apps are amazing. There are, you know, habit trackers like habit bowl. As an app, you'll find lots of apps that will help you track your progress. I have a, a Vivo, a Garmin vivo active. And so it will tell me, let's see if I can get this thing to actually do something for me. That's where that it's not doing what I needed to do. Strange. It's probably updating. So anyway, I have a Vivo active that will literally show me the number of steps that I take every day. And I have a 10000 steps a day goal. And so in my app and on my actual phone, it will show me how will I slept or didn't sleep. It will show me what goals I've hit. It will show me if I didn't hit the goals that are needed to hedge. So those are just some examples of tools that you can use to really keep track. Let me see if I can show you. I just want to show you the garment out because I think it's so cool. Okay, so if you can see this, my garment apples show me my heart rate, which is pretty high at this very moment. It will also show me my calorie burn. And it will show me the number of hours I slept less ICU with house really crappy to just see the number of hours. I slept four hours and 41 minutes last night and 17 minutes was deep sleep. For hours was light sleep and only 22 minutes REM sleep. Oh, that's not good. That's not good. You can see from the stages of my sleep that was bad. But I have really good energy today. So that's kinda funny. What I'm saying at the bottom line is this, if you're going to track your progress in any area of your life, It's super important that you have some form of progress tracker or trackers. I do use habitable for certain habits. I use my garment vivo active. I don't think it's thick, it's still doing crazy stuff that's so weird. It usually works. That's what's crazy. That's kind of annoying me to any of you have that thing where you're like, I want my thing to work and the fact that it's not working is driving me nuts. Well. And now it shows me it's 68%, so it needs some charging, which is fine. Oh, there we go. Okay. If you see, you probably can't see, but it will give me my number of steps so I know exactly where I am. The bottom-line as I digress into garment vivo active is that you've got to have ways to track your progress. Whether you use a journal, you put a calendar on a board, you use a whiteboard, whatever you choose. But you've gotta be able to see visually every single day the data that tells you whether you actually moving in the direction of your new life or you're not handling business and doing the things that you need to do. Which is why if you want to really begin again, this is a super important strategy which is to track progress and adjust accordingly. But you can't adjust accordingly if you don't have the data. If you don't actually see what's working and what's not working about what you're doing and whether or not you're actually being true to the frequency consistency and results metrics that we talked about earlier. So all of those are really important and yes, is it a hassle to track data? Well, you know, like the garment vivo active app makes it less of a hassle. But yes, my spreadsheet is kind of a hassle to do, but it's worth it because every single day can look at it. And I can say, am I moving in the direction that I want to go in? Or am I not? Am I still stuck? Or am I moving forward? And just remember in life with human beings, with energy, There's no such thing as neutral. Nobody is neutral. And every decision you make, every action or inaction you do, or don't do, those lead to you either to the same life you're living right now, or to the new life that you keep saying that you want. So it is super-important to figure out what system of tracking your progress is going to work for you, but also to stick with that system. Now, let's talk in the next module about what happens when you fall short, not if you're going to fall short as you begin again. So what happens when you fall short? And let's talk about it. 23. What Happens When You Fall Short: Okay, we've spent this whole class talking about how do you go about beginning again? What are those five strategies that you can use to carve out a new life path. And I think one of the biggest questions that you may come across and that as I've coached clients, they've asked me is, What if I fail? What if, what if I keep failing? What if I can't do this? What is what do I do when I'm not doing the thing I know I need to do to get to where I say I want to go, what do I do? And so I want to talk for a few minutes about what happens when you fall short because you're going to what happens when you fail? Because you're going to what happens when you hit a dead end on the way to your new life path, it's going to happen. What do you do? And rather than getting in your head, rather than letting your inner critic rage, rather than being somebody who goes See, I knew I couldn't do it. This is horrible. I'll never get to where I wanna go. No stuff all that. Here's what you do when you find that you are doing your best to beginning at and you are falling short time and time again. Here's what you do. You need to in that moment that you feel all of the sentences? I'm not good enough. I don't know if I can do this. I this is not working. All of those emotions which are normal and natural when you're beginning again, by the way, in the moment, I want you to stop, breathe, reflect. Really decide what needs to change about the way that you're approaching it. Because if you're hitting dead ends or if you're falling short repeatedly on your way to your new life path, it's because you keep trying to apply a strategy and you keep trying to get to your destination in a way that is not working. So in the moment, I want you to stop, I want you to breathe. I want you to reflect. I want you to decide what needs to change about your strategy, not about your destination, about your strategy. And then on what you're going to immediate action. That's where people get stopped, people stop. They breathe, they reflect. They figured out what's not working. And then they spent a lot of time in analysis paralysis in over analyzing the situation. No, I want you to go from center to what am I not? What am I missing? What am I not doing? What am I doing that's just not working? And then immediately try something different. You don't need proof that something is going to work as it might not. You just need to go, okay. Whatever I'm doing right now, it's not working. I'm just going to go left instead of right, or I'm gonna go right and center left. Try it immediately, see what happens. Trust the process. So now don't get paralyzed by the failure. I know it is so much easier to say it than it is to live it. I know because I get I have failures. Just go ahead. I have failures, right? Disco. Here. I go again. I get it. But in the same breath that you're saying to yourself as you failed again at something. Here we go. Again. You also need to say to yourself, but this will not hold me back. I'm not leaving until I get to the life path I want. So you can feel the failure and you can take it in. But it cannot be something that paralyzes you. You've gotta be able to say, ah, I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm sick of being wrong. But I'm going to figure this out and I'm gonna keep on moving. You know, like in a host that movie, Dory. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. You gotta. That is really the nature of getting to any level of success in life and nobody really teaches as well. Just keep swimming. Eventually, you're going to find your way. A Vietnam may take way longer than you wanted to, but eventually you're going to find your way. Just keep swimming now. Don't get stuck in analysis paralysis. Don't get into decision fatigue. Like just keep swimming, keep moving forward. Take the next step. Yes, there'll be scared. Yes, we'll have self-doubt, especially if you failed recently. Keep going. That's the key. The whole, the whole thing about staying the course. A whole thing about laser focus, which I teach. The whole thing about being consistent, which I teach the whole thing about staying the course on a dream or goal or an beginning again, boils down to this. Just keep going. When you're scared, keep going. When you fail, keep going. When you don't think you'll get there, keep going. Just take the next step and you will get there. If you don't quit. That's the key. Now, let's talk about final thoughts. 24. Final Thoughts: Congratulations on making it this far in the course that tells me that you have had the time to really take in the material, to think about what beginning again looks like for you to really get intentional about how do you now carve out a new life path for yourself? I will tell you from experience. I have had situations in my life like bitter divorces, cross state custody battles, where life's Horta threw me into the beginning again process, the starting over process. And I had to figure out in those moments, in those big like, what am I going to do? My life's imploded moments, how to begin again? And now in my forties, I'm beginning a can, but this time intentionally, this time with a focus on let me decide who I want to be and how I want my life to look. And I'm going to move with laser focus in that direction. So I've had the life storms that just come out of nowhere. And I've had seasons like right now where I'm really saying to myself, I'm creating the exact life I want no settling, no going back, only going forward. And both experiences have their values. And so what I'd like to say it's final thoughts is, please come back to this course often, please review this material. Often they're going to be parts of it that are going to be super relevant for you at different points in your begin again journey. Please come back to it as many times as you need to. Here's the other thing I want to leave you with. This, this begin again thing, this starting over thing. It is not for the faint of heart. It, it will, it will challenge every part of you. There will be moments, minutes, hours, days, where you will find yourself on the floor and you will have to figure out how to pick yourself back up. There'll be times when you're moving forward on your dreams and moving forward on carving out a new life path. And you hit a brick wall that feel so big and massive that you just sit for a few days unlike this twilight zone of I don't know how I'm going to do it. I just I don't know. Normal. Please do not normalize perfection when beginning again, normalize the obstacles, normalize the failures, normalize the moments where you feel like nothing's working and you don't know what to do differently normalize the feeling like it's taking forever to get there because it turns out to be years and not months. All of that is normal and none of it means you shouldn't keep moving forward in the direction of your best life. You deserve your best life. And the only person who can actually give that life to you. You're the only one. And so don't turn back when things get tough. And don't turn back when the people you thought would have your back on moving forward with this dream, walk away from you and don't turn back on the people you thought what support you're actually trying to sabotage. You don't turn back because your best life, your new light is not for them, it's for you. So they don't have to believe in you and they don't have to hold space for you, but you got to hold space for you. You have to. And you're the only one who matters in this equation. Would it be great to have a support team? We've talked about this, yes. Lovely. Is it mandatory know. So make sure that as you work on carving out a new life path, you take the strategies that work in the seasons of your life that, that work for you and leave the rest. Make sure you come back to these videos when you feel a little unclear, you can always leave a comment. You can send me a message. If you have questions about specific things that relate to your specific journey, I will answer them. Please. Do not give up on you. That's the one thing that asked. Do not give up on you. Because at the end of the day and I think I said this before, you are your longest commitment. You are your longest relationship. You giving up on you is not an option. It's not an option. So we'll just agree right now. None of that. None of that. All right. Let's talk about the class project. 25. Class Project: All right, Let's talk about the class project. In the class project, what I am asking you to do is to take everything that we learned in this course and to put it into something that I've provided for you as a resource, which is the new life worksheet. I probably should have Golden the new life workbook because it is more like a series of worksheets in one document that you then can use to really fill out all the things we talked about. So in each of the sections of the new life worksheet, I gave you specific directions on what to do to create your vision, to create your key milestones, to identify who's in your tribe or your inner circle, your support team, your accountability measures. This is really a many workbook and it's called a New Life worksheet that is designed to help you think through all the different things we talked about over the span of this course and to actually put them down on paper. Now, there's a reason why I give these to you in PDF format and not in a Microsoft Word document that you could just type really quick on. There is something about writing in your own handwriting with pen and paper that creates a, what do they call it, a neuro psycho motor activity. It makes it real for you and your writing in your own handwriting. It's like a contract that you are signing with yourself. So ideally what I'd like you to do is to print out the new life worksheet, that mini Workbook. And to work with pen in that paper, get more paper if you need to, to complete it. And so I want you to really think, take time with this project. Think about the new life you want to carve out. Think about what it means for you right now at this stage and H to begin again and then go through each section. It will take you some time. This is not a quick assignment. This is really something that takes a lot of thinking and processing and in listening to your inner knowing and making some key decisions. Now can you change your mind on the things you put on this? Of course you can. But what I really love for you to do is be so deliberate about this and so intentional about this project that what you write down is a contract between you and you and you stay the course on it. You don't go flip-flopping every time you turn around, you're not looking for the next shiny object. You literally are thinking through this in such a powerful way that when you write it on that paper in the New Life worksheet, it's real. It's true you are not changing your mind. That is my hope for you. That is the class project. I will describe it at length in text in this course. But please download the PDF. Really think about the questions that are in it, read through the directions, complete it once you feel really confident about the answers that you find. That is the class project.