Authentic confidence for male introverts! - Make the most of your introversion! | Joe Claire | Skillshare

Authentic confidence for male introverts! - Make the most of your introversion!

Joe Claire, Trainer

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35 Lessons (1h 57m)
    • 1. 1 intro

      3:02
    • 2. 2 what introversion is

      5:31
    • 3. 3 imposter

      2:19
    • 4. 4 imposter solutions

      5:02
    • 5. 5 social anxiety

      2:41
    • 6. 6 social anx solution

      12:15
    • 7. 7 rejection

      1:53
    • 8. 8 rejection solution

      4:31
    • 9. 8 routine intro

      1:13
    • 10. 9 thought loops

      3:22
    • 11. 10 victory pose

      4:07
    • 12. 11 power music

      2:22
    • 13. 12 push ups

      2:33
    • 14. 12 mindsets intro

      1:25
    • 15. 13 growth vs fixed

      5:38
    • 16. 14 luck

      4:21
    • 17. 15 intro men types

      0:55
    • 18. 16 type 1

      2:15
    • 19. 17 type 2

      2:02
    • 20. 18 type 3

      2:15
    • 21. 19 type 4

      7:30
    • 22. 20 strategies intro

      0:29
    • 23. 21 body language

      3:07
    • 24. 22 eyes

      4:18
    • 25. 23 friends

      2:46
    • 26. 24 alone

      2:06
    • 27. 25 toxic

      2:52
    • 28. 26 small talk

      3:12
    • 29. 27 listening

      2:11
    • 30. 28 speak

      1:56
    • 31. 29 work alone

      1:47
    • 32. 30 results

      1:49
    • 33. 31 career

      5:09
    • 34. 32 important recharge

      5:41
    • 35. 33 end

      2:44

About This Class

You're a quiet boy or man? People around you describe you as reserved or still? Do you know the feeling that you often stand in your own way? Whether at work, in love or at school it is often difficult for you to find the right words? Would you describe yourself as a quiet guy?

Are you fed up with seeing yourself as strange and socially incompatible?

Have you ever thought about being an introvert?

Does the concept of introversion mean anything to you?

Whether you know it or not, this course is designed to help all introverted guys and men to gain more self-confidence. Together we will work out what it means to be introverted.

We will talk about fears that often accompany introverted people in their everyday lives. And we will talk about strategies for overcoming these fears. Your introversion is not a handicap, but a gift for society.

I'll teach you tricks that will immediately help you to get a boost in self-esteem. You can become a real self-confident boy or man with the right strategies.

I will teach you how to become an authentic, self-confident, introverted man.

We will also work together to find solutions to better master social situations, even if we prefer to enjoy time alone. The tips, tricks, and methods in this course are really immensely helpful and easy to implement in your everyday life. You don't need much money or time to finally become more self-confident.

You have little to lose and a lot to gain.

So if you don't want everyone to call you a shy boy or man anymore, sign up now.

See you on the other side.

Transcripts

1. 1 intro: Hello, my dear friend. And thank you for your interest in this course. This course is dedicated to all introverted boys and man who have enough off the low self confidence. I myself I'm an introvert. Since the day I was born more than 25 years, I had to fight with my very low self esteem. The goal off this course is to show you that your introversion is a gift and that you are not just a weird guy. I am going to give you tips, tricks, mindsets and practical methods that will help you toe estimation a truly deep and authentic self confidence. But before we dive into the course, let us shortly Have a quick look. First we will talk about the concept off introversion and what it means to be an introvert . For most of my past life, I had no idea about introversion. I and my closest family and friends just assumed that what I waas shy by nature, however we introverts are much more than that. But later, more on that topic. Next we will talk about anxieties and fears from which introverts often suffer. From after that, we would talk about a successful t here, I will show you easy tricks which will help you to quickly boost your self confidence. After that, we will cover mindsets which will empower you to truly maximize your potential. Once we have done that, we will dive into the topic Different types off men and we will work out what kind off a man we want to be. A really important chapter will then follow where we will talk about social interactions. Here we will talk about strategies when dealing with other people in your private and work life. Last but not least, we will then have a little conclusion at the end. As you can see, we have a long road ahead of us. So get ready. Back up and let us enjoy this right together. 2. 2 what introversion is: So what does introversion mean? Introversion and on the opposite extra version are two opposite poles off a personal characteristic trade, which is characterized by the way the person handles interactions in the social environment . Extroverted people get their energy from the outer world and when interacting with other people, introverts. On the other hand, I'm more reserved and quiet. They prefer to be alone and social interactions rather drain our energy when thinking off introversion and an extra version, you should think off a spectrum only in very rare cases, someone is totally introverted or totally extroverted. Most people tend toe a higher or lower extent to one side off the spectrum, so we introverts rather gain energy. When we are alone, We like to deal with our inner thoughts and feelings. On the other hand, extroverts do need external stimulation to thrive. An extrovert loves to be around people, and he or she enjoys to interact with others. The following table shows you more differences between introverts on extroverts, so extroverts has already mentioned enjoy that time with other people. They are very sociable. They, for example, like toe work in teams. They do enjoy talking and speaking and in many cases they have a lot of friends. On the other hand, we introverts. We really like to spend time by Watts Health. We are more reserved and quiet. Are still. We rather prefer to work in the and also we rather enjoy listening instead off speaking and in many cases we have less friends as we rather enjoy quality or friendship rather than quantity. These are just some examples in just a few characteristics which define us introverts. Maybe you already have recognized yourself in the one or the other point, especially when interacting with other people. We introverts do have issues to show what we are really about. We should not make the mistake to compare hours health with excellent extroverts that enjoy to get in touch with people. This is an issue which followed me, my entire youth and young adult life. I just thought I was weird and socially awkward. This, of course, had massively harmed my self confidence and made things very difficult for me in school, university and at work. I also really struggled totally regarding the topic dating and romantic relationships. Luckily, I sorted it out, and today I'm really happy with my work. I have a small but great circle of friends, and I am married to my wonderful wife and I am a heavy debt. What I can achieve you can achieve as well. Do not waste any more time by trying toe Fight your introversion, but learn to love your introverted nature. Let us talk in the next chapter about feels and anxieties, which we introverts often face in our daily life. 3. 3 imposter: many introverts often fight with the so called and pasta Centrum. But what does this mean? Persons with this syndrome really struggle with health Doubts. Maybe you know the following feeling you are really successful and school in college. Allred work nonetheless. You have issues being proud off your own achievements. You do not value your own successes. No matter how great you are, you always have to feeling that it waas pure luck or maybe just a coincidence. When people appreciate your achievements and give you positive feedback, you are not able to accept that feedback. You may think that those people are over x reject, accept orating or that they just want toe uplift your low self esteem at your deep core. You think that people few just pity for you. You feel that you are really not dead, special or talented. Quite contrary, you even fear that one day everyone else will also realize that you are really not good at what you do. You fear that one day everyone will also see us an imposter and cheetah. If this resonates with you, then in the next videos I will show you some strategies how to tackle your fake perception 4. 4 imposter solutions: So how can you stop Senior's health as a cheater or imposter, although in reality you are really talented or hard working the next time, but and catch yourself thinking that was just luck. Post your thinking and listen to your thoughts as an external viewer. Remind yourself that this is again the imposter syndrome and not the general valid truth. Recognize that this is once again your FIA playing tricks with you. Another trick is to write a list in our busy daily lives. We just tend to forget all the great things we have achieved in the past. We forget about the challenges and obstacles which we successfully managed an hour prior life. Unfortunately, on the other side, we tend to focus on all the things that went bad and which are not working out the way we want. So in order to not forget the fact off your inner greatness, write yourself a list off all the great and amazing things you have done up to now in your life. Put this list into your pocket and carry it always with you. Whenever you have again, some self adults pull out your greatness list and remind yourself that you are indeed really amazing. Often the simple effect off being thankful can be really helpful. Remind yourself daily about all the things you are thankful for, not just your own achievements, but also about the things and people in your environment. This can be big, but also small things. Moving your focus on things and experiences you are thankful for. It's an easy and yet powerful way to raise any feelings off pity and self doubt. Also, just be proud. Next time someone applauses you or gives you positive feedback, then simply accepted and do not undermine your own success. Do not say something like it was easy anyway, or it was no big deal. Instead, just say thank you. When your inner critic again wants toe undervalue your successes, then remind yourself that this is not true. You have most probably land, and not to get the good. Great you have most probably worked really hard to make the project successful, acknowledge joke greatness and reward yourself with positive feedback 5. 5 social anxiety: as introverts. We often are in danger to become socially anxious by nature. We tend to socialize less with other people, and it may happen that we totally isa light. I was health from the outer world. But what exactly is social anxiety, social anxiety or social phobia? It's the fear off social situations that contained interaction with other human beings. Socially anxious people here being judged by at us. The fear that other people see one's health as weird or awkward or inferior is omnipresent situations as lunching with others. Going on dates or just normal conversation with others can create high level off anxiety. Very often, even the body reacts with science, such as a fast pumping heart. No business sickness, our sweat. And to avoid those feelings and the possibility off being judged social ancients persons try to hide from those kind off interactions. As you can see, social anxiety can really have a massive negative impact on a person's life. If you are really suffering deeply from this, then you may consider professional help. If you are only socially anxious toe lower extent, all right, just a few specific social situations make you anxious. Then the next vigil could help you 6. 6 social anx solution: So how can we have less fear regarding social interactions? First of all, try to exactly figure out which social interactions cause stress for you. Maybe you just hear small talk, but you do not have issues with normal conversations with other people. Maybe you feel public speaking, but you are really charismatic when interacting with small groups. Maybe you're just feel floating or speaking with people with authority. The better. You know which exact situations make you feel anxious, the better you can. Prepare yourself for those interactions the next time you again have those feelings off anxiety and fear, and then just allow your feelings and accept them. Do not try to suppress suppress them. Be thankful. Be thankful for your free and breathe slowly. Remind yourself that you are not the only person in the world that suffers from nervousness and anxiety. Many people fear being judged by others. Many people have the same negative or even worse feelings. You are not alone. Chances are quite high that the person you are talking to also is nx anxious and nervous in that situation. It sounds hard, however, the more often you face these situations that you are afraid off, then the less fear you will feel over the time. If you do feel small talk, then next time try to do it in an environment where it is not so stressful for you. Maybe you can do it in the supermarket with the employees, all with persons in your neighborhood that you No, you can see it as your own personal challenge. You still will see your value, react with fear, but instead off hiding. You will show your subconscious that you are not afraid off these feelings off anxiety and that you are willing to face them the next time you have a job, interview or date. Just imagine the worst case scenario and you should really exaggerate. Imagine how everything will go bad. You mentioned that you will be a real joke and that everyone will laugh at you. The entire nation with you as a clown and no one ever again will respect you. Imagine that all your family members and friends Well, then I despise you and cut all relationships to you. So, my friend, my question to you now is how realistic is the scenario? Yes, I do agree with you that this scenario is really unrealistic. Often subconsciously we've here so much over exaggerated fear. Our heart pumps widely and we are full off stress hormones. It really feels as we are in real danger and that we may die from the upcoming situation. Although we just have a date or a job interview. Even if that interaction fails, we will surely net not die. Life will for sure go on the dealing and the perception off your fear feelings are really important. Give your fear a loving name Whenever pops up again, talk with your fear and tips, empathy and compassion for it. Remember that as a child you already faced many situations. You were afraid off. And still today you are here, still breathing and still alive. Your fear wants to protect you. Thank you off you for that. However, in many situations you do not need your fear, friend toe over, protect you Then just tell you feel that you can handle that situation on your own. Your fear can be a great India. You identify growth potentials for you So do not try toe Always suppress your fear with pure power or to hide it but accept and embrace your fear and move on from there on this slide, I want to show you a quick, practical process on how to minimize your social anxiety in a special way. So just do the following exercise with me. Think off a really bad moment in your life where you had a very high level off anxiety and fear and try toe. Imagine this situation as clearly as possible. Try to set your self back in time and do this as loan so that you really feel again. Fear in your body. Once you feel the fear, just stroke your right here. Once that is done, distract yourself. Look around in the environment for one minute, and once you've done that, repeat the 1st 2 steps for five minutes for five times. Once you have done that. Now on the opposite. Think of a really great moment in your life where you were full off pride and Choi Try to imagine the situation as clearly as possible and set yourself back into that time and do this so long until you really feel again those feelings off joy and pride that you had back then, Once you feel this good in our feelings again. Try to strengthen them and maximize this feeling off awesomeness and greatness. Once you are really feeling amazing now stroke your left ear after you having stroke your left ear again, distract yourself. Once you have distracted yourself for one minute, repeat steps for till seven for five times. Then again distract yourself for a minute. You have distracted yourself. Now, this time stroke both. Yes, repeat the last two steps five times. Once you have done this entire process, think again off the bad moment which you imagined on step one. Think again off it very clearly. How does it feel now? Do you recognize the difference instead Off fear? You may now have the feeling off joy and pride and energy. So whenever you face again and situation well, fear rises, just stroke your left ear. Maybe at this point you are not really sure about process. And it may not fear very realistic for you that this will really work. I can only highly recommend you toe try this out and really do this exercise deeply with real emotions. And I'm pretty sure you will feel the difference 7. 7 rejection: another problem that many introverts face. It's the fear of rejection and the fear off failure. We introverts often tend to be in our own mind, and we like to analyze situations critically and often. We have a focus on all the things that may go wrong. It could be flirting. Oh, it could be in any situation regarding your work or school life or any projects regarding your work. We like to really focus on all the possible things which might not work out well for us. Those we often do not have the courage to, for example, speak to the woman that we like. We do not apply for the new job. We are not able to change our car year because we have the fear that at the end we will be rejected anyway or that it will be a failure anyway. But what can we do to stop our fear of failure so that we can finally maximize our inner potential in order to find this out state you want and watch the next video 8. 8 rejection solution: the best answer against the fear or failure or the fear off rejection is to respond with action instead to focus on all the things that will go wrong. Just do the first step. You can try to apply to the new job, and no matter what happens, at least you have tried it. You should try to speak to the woman that you like and no metta. How she reacts. At least you had the courage to try it. The more job interviews you have, the easier it will be for you in the future. The more you have helped meetings or speeches in the public, the easier it will be for you in the future. For sure, there will be situations where you will experience some kind off failure. However, you will grow with each test. But on the other hand, if you do not try anything just because out off your fear, then you may not get hurt. But you will not move any step forward in your life. So try to view it as a game each time when you fail at a certain level. Then the next time, try again, do it better, and with a lot off exercise, you will be able to reach the next level the next time you are trying to handle a new challenge, like talking to a girl that you like. Then just have another mindset. Just do it and no matter what happens, it is great. If she responds in a positive way, that's awesome. If she responds in a negative way, that's awesome, too. No matter what happens, life for you will go on. Whenever Wonder closes, another one will open for you. So even if you do not get the new job, which you have applied for, then I'm pretty sure that the universe already has another job somewhere else waiting for you, even failure in a certain way. It's good for you because it will help you to grow toe a riel man. Whatever happens in your life, please make sure that you realize that at the end off the day everything will be OK. Do not hide yourself from the world just because off here life will always be full off heights and lows, and even when you are at a point in your life, when you are really having a low, then you will do everything. What is needed to make things better again, Just have deep faith in your own abilities. Trust the people that you love and trust the universe that everything which will not kill you will make you stronger and will help you on your way to become really self confident man. 9. 8 routine intro: in the next videos, I'm going to present you some practical methods for your daily life. These tricks will help you to handle difficult situations, and they would give you a riel confidence boost. These tips can always be performed. For example, if you have a customer talk waiting for you or if you are having a public speech, or you can even do these tricks before a date that you are going to have. Furthermore, you can do these tricks as a part off a morning routine, which you will perform every day. Once you have gotten out off, bet you will see that these tips are really helpful and we'll give you not only a really good feeling, but they are also very easy to perform, and you do not need to invest a lot off time nor energy. 10. 9 thought loops: my first hip, our so called thought loops. I am pretty sure that you have already held off informations. However, we do not want to always write sentences or read them out loud. No, we just simply used the power off positive thoughts, which we will play as the loop. You know I had. We also don't talk those thoughts out loudly. This means that these loops are very discreet and you can use this to everywhere at any time. You can use them in the car, in the train, on the toilet before a meeting or even within your office. Whenever you want. You can play this great record each morning. Once you wake up, set yourself a time on your mobile phone, for example for two minutes, and then just say the following loudly in your mind. I am really confident. I am really confident. I am really confident and repeat this sentence in your head as long as the time it's not up . Every time when you are facing a difficult situation, you can play this record in your head. Since you have decided consciously for positive thoughts, you do not leave any space in your mind. for any negative thoughts, so there's no more space for self doubts. When you play your great in a record, please make sure that your thought loop has formulated in a positive way. Do not tell yourself I am no child, but make sure to say something like, I am really communicated or I am really confident. Try this out for a T least 30 days every morning and in every situation. Whenever you need a confidence boost, I am pretty sure that you will see differences, which will also be recognized by your environment. Since this tour is pretty easy to perform, don't wait anymore and start playing your great inner record today. 11. 10 victory pose: next, let us talk about the so called Victory Post. Professor Amy Cuddy, from the Harvard Business School, has held a really great Ted talk about this. Just search for Amy Cadie on YouTube and you felt you will find that video regarding power posing. She has found out that body language can influence your hormone levels in a very positive way and that Onley in two minutes in just two minutes, you are able to increase your levels off testosterone and lower your levels off court is old at the same time, testosterone has a very positive effect on your self confidence. The higher your level off testosterone is, the more confident you feel. On the other hand, cortisol is a stress hormone which causes feelings off here with less cortisol, you feel less fear and anxiety. So how this how does this victory post work and how can we start implementing it today? Just have a look at the picture, and we will do the same. Stand up and your feet should be set apart so that you form a huge V, just like on the image. Raise your arms and your hands and raise your chin. Look up to the roof or to the sky. Hold this position for five minutes. This position will help you to increase your levels off testosterone. Also this exercises Perfecto. Combine it with our first routine with this thought loops so you can do the victory post for five minutes. Set your timer and in your mind play your great thought loops while you are performing the Victory Post. Say in your mind for five minutes. I am really confident. I am really confident. I am really confident. I am really confident and go on like this. Make sure to perform this exercise as well Each morning once you wake up and whenever the time and the situation allows it during your daily life, just imagine how great this is. It does not cost you any money and only costs a few minutes off your precious time. And still you are able to positively influence your own home own. Levitz. So what are you waiting for? Start implementing and performing the victory post today and make sure to do it at least for 30 days. I am pretty sure people in your environment with soon start to say something like you have changed recently 12. 11 power music: Now that we know about the power post, we should also create a playlist full of power music for winners. Make sure that you create a playlist with positive and strong music, which will help you to create positive feelings. Maybe you have some favorite songs, which reminds you off your youth, or which reminds you off a great time off your life. You should listen to this playlist each morning. Once you have performed the 1st 2 exercises, emotions are contagious, and music with energy can really help you to increase young mood very quickly whenever you face difficult situations. For example, when you have a customer meeting ahead, make sure that you are able to listen to your music before and if the situation allows it sing alone and tense. This will also help you to reduce the levels off nervousness that you have. I really can just recommend you toe also perform this whenever you have a drop interview or maybe a date ahead. Your positive mood well, most likely also influence the people around you. So before you go on with the next video, make a playlist off all the songs full of energy that you like to hear and which reminds you off a great time in your life. Make this music playlist part off your daily successful team. 13. 12 push ups: so up to. No, we have increased our positive thoughts. We have influenced our hormone levels in a positive way. Furthermore, we created music for more positive energy. Another simple but yet powerful trig to create good feelings are push ups. Once you have danced out and sang along your power music playlist, perform 30 push ups at the beginning, it could be also less or if you are stronger person then, of course, you can also perform 50 Sports in the morning can also help you to better your Homo Nevers in a positive way. Also, sport will, of course, help you to stay healthy and strong. You do not need to go out and you do not need any extra material. Of course, you can also do additional sports in your free time by going to the gym or doing any other kind off spot. But I can also understand that often daily life is stressful and sometimes time or money is not present to do those kinds off activities. This is the reason why we consciously decided for push ups because they do not cost us any money and they do not cost us very much time So before you continue with the next tempter, please post this video and foot starters just to 20 push ups. Your body and your self confidence will be really thankful for it. We will see each other again after your many workout. 14. 12 mindsets intro: in this chapter, I am going to talk with you about some helpful mindsets. These mindsets should help you to develop a more positive and more confident mindset for the future. We introverts often are caught in our own feelings and thoughts, and that's not dead bed. However, it is bad once you are only focused with negative thoughts. So it's OK to think about risks when thinking about an upcoming situation are about the future. Hello, since we introverts often think more, then acting spontaneously, there might be the chance that we miss out on a lot off opportunities just because we only focus on the risk. So the following videos should help you to act more. 15. 13 growth vs fixed: in this video, I'm going to talk with you about two different mindsets. On the one hand, there is the fixed mindset, and on the other hand, there is the growth mindset. Let's begin with the fixed mindset. Someone who has a fixed mindset, things that features properties and abilities are fixed. This means you're confident. Are you, aren't you? Are either a good speaker by natural are you aren't a good speaker at all? Someone with a fixed mindset does not see the opportunity that everyone can develop a certain skill. The owned properties and abilities are fixed and cannot be changed anymore. Maybe you know someone with this mindset Or maybe you yourself say to yourself that you can never be that confident as other persons. Then, on the other hand, we have people who have a growth mindset. They think that abilities and skills can be developed. They know that with every challenges, a person has the ability to grow. Thus people with a growth mindset to put a lot of value on learning and self improvement. If you have a growth mindset, then you know that with a lot off diligence and effort, you can achieve a lot again. See it as a video game. The more you try, the better you work it. And this is true for most areas of your life. It could be floating. It could be small talk. It could be public speaking or any other area you can think off. So which mindset do you personally have? Do you think that you are born self confident or not? Do you think someone has intelligent D n A material or was simply state dumb forever? Do you think someone can be very communicative or he's just born that way? The fact that you have bought this course already proved that you are a learner. You really believe that you are able toe work on your own self confidence. That is a very important step. No matter which area off, your life needs improvement and is currently causing you a lot off pain. With the right mindset, the right energy and the right strategies, you will improve just because you are an introvert. It does not mean that you cannot have awesome social relationships. Just stick to the growth mindset and allow yourself to learn and allow yourself to make mistakes, Miss takes also part off the game. The more you try, the better you work it. You can learn to be more communicative. You can learn to develop awesome charisma. You can learn toe, have great small talks. One huge advantage off your introversion is that you are willing to work a lot with your own thoughts and feelings, and by determining the right learning strategies for yourself, you can work on any ability and improve it with the right strategies. I also was able to become a really good student, although before I was just below average. What I have achieved, you can achieve as well the right mindset, the right attitude, the right work ethic will help you to achieve a lot in your life. 16. 14 luck: another great mindset is the luck mindset. What if I told you that you can provoke your own luck? I think we all agree that the positive attitude towards life can be really helpful. Maybe you already have heard off the book. The secret. If not I can really recommend it to you. The core off the luck mindset is that you really focus on all the awesome things that can happen in your life, even when you are thinking off difficult situations. So once you apply to a new job instead of focusing on the negative risks side, imagine the feeling. Once you have received the confirmation that you will get that job, make a vision board for all the awesome things and experiences that you want to have in your life. Make a list ofall your short term and long term goals. Train your brain consciously to look out for positive things in your life. Even when you're facing difficult situations. The universe is here to help you. You just need to have the right mindset. There were, for example, times in my life where I was always finding money on the street, not only coins but serious money and the funny thing Waas that oftentimes I was just thinking about finding money and all of the sudden it just appeared in front, off my feet. The same happened to me when I was looking for jobs. I was really frustrated. But once I sort it out what I really wanted, then all of a sudden I saw an amazing job off her. I applied and I got the job on the same goals. Also, for other areas of my life, there was even a time in my life where was very lonely and single for a really, really, really long time. I just neglected that part off my life. But once the void was increasing massively and I was not able to handle any more the loneliness in my life. I then really focused on how awesome it would be to finally find the woman off my dreams and guess what she appeared. And guess what? We are married now. What I want to tell you with this is not to just simply think now that everything will work out by itself and you do not have to do anything and you can relax on your coach all day long. No off course. You will do everything what it's needed and what is in your hand to change, to have the results that you want in your life. But also make sure to focus your thoughts on the good things that will happen for you. And I am pretty sure if you put the right energy and the right effort, then the universe will respond and a proper way. 17. 15 intro men types: this course is dedicated toe all introverted boys and men that are struggling with a low self esteem. Since I had to struggle with my own self confidence for the most part off my life due to my high level off introversion, I can only authentically speak about the perspective off a male person. And specifically, this chapter is dedicated toe all introverted boys and men and this chapter I want to talk to you about different types off man and the type off man that we are aiming for. 18. 16 type 1: first, let us begin with them. Bad boy. Maybe you know this type off man from your school or from your friends. Bad boys. Those types that we introverts sometimes envy because they are really confident, at times, ever arrogant, but still in many parts off their life. They can be very successful, such when it comes to dating or even in the work life. Bad boys simply do not care what other people think about them. They just think about the own advantage, and they are not afraid. Off challengers fights discussions, and no matter what happens, they will try to continue to fight for their own way. They're often not afraid off mistakes or off responsibility. History has unfortunately, proven many times that those types are really aggressive, but nonetheless they can be able tow influence, huge masses. Nonetheless, Just because we introverts do not talk that much and do not talk much about our own opinions. That doesn't mean that we are not able to be good leaders for the moment. Let us just agree that for sure, we want to be more confident, but we do not want to be a bad boy who has an arrogant or even evil attitude 19. 17 type 2: next, let us talk about the famous nice guy. Basically, the nice guy is a nice person. He respects the feelings off people around him. He often sets himself in the background and does not want to aggressively state his own opinion. Even if he does not agree, he always seeks for harmony. From a social perspective, this sounds quite good, but just being a nice guy also comes with a lot of issues. A nice boy on Nice Man Without Edge is someone who often becomes invisible. Sometimes he even appears as needy, submissive or inferior. This often belittles his success at work or in the dating life. The nice guy has off course many problems to proof that he is self confident because he often holds back his own opinion or even lies just because off harmony purposes that is not very authentic. Let us agree this stage that there are certain advantages with being nice and general. However, the nice guy is not the image off a truly self confident man that we are looking for 20. 18 type 3: No, it's time to talk about the neutral men. This type of man does not bother much, it seems as everything. It's not important for him. He does not invest a lot off energy to his life. Neither when it comes to love nor toe his work, life or school life one off its most favorite sentences is I don't care. This type of men has also so advantages. He does not risk a lot. He does not have high expectations, which then, of course, cannot be underachieved. It can be really good at times to have a certain emotional distance to certain subjects. For example, some people might be really Desprez sieve and said, just because off the weather, where is the neutral man simply doesn't care and goes on? On the other hand, the neutral type cannot expect that life will offer him a lot. His employer, his friends and also his relationship partners off course can feel the distance and the lacking energy most off the time. His leg off commitment is also just a mechanism off protection. At a deep level, he is just afraid off life, and he thinks when wearing his superficial mask off indifference that no one will see his to fear 21. 19 type 4: in social situations. We introverts often tend to become either a nice guy or a neutral guy. We do not talk a lot. We think a lot and often we do not enjoy social situations, as those interaction can cost us energy. Either we try toe overcompensate our uncertainty by being overly correct and nice, or we shut down mentally and start analyzing and judging people in our mind for sure. There are also introverted bad boys out there. But at least for me, this type off men was never dead compatible with my deep in ourselves. With the help off the nice guy mentality. I definitely had a lot off success at school, at university and at work. I simply did what superiors expected off me. I always help back with my own opinions and just focused on doing things instead off interacting with others. The nice guy mentality, however, did not help me at all in the dating life. For most part off my youth and young others life I will sing. I simply did not understand why being just nice did not work out. Thus, at some point I just decided to neglect this part off my life, and I pretended to be neutral regarding love relationships and purely focused on my academic and work area. Temporal reality. This strategy worked, but at some point of time everybody will feel lonely and none off. The success in my academic and work life could make up for the emptiness I was feeling inside. Luckily, I sorted it out. Finally, Today I am happy with my work. I have a wonderful life and I am proud to be a debt. So the question now is what kind off a man do we want to be? Let us agree to become truly confident, good, introverted man who am praises his introversion and all his edges and flows. This man is not arrogant, but he's also not afraid off stating his own opinion. This man is not afraid off mistakes, and he's willing to correct his strategies if necessary. This man, it's not afraid off responsibility, and he's willing to take actions and to be decisive, a self confident, introverted men nos that he does not need to compare himself with extroverts. He knows that he has other great correct heuristics and features which make him really valuable. We can be great listeners and we are really ableto have deep conversations. If we maximize our full potential, then we can be really emotionally and socially intelligent. The self confident, introverted men is able to see the perspectives off other people around him, and he knows how to show empathy. This man does not need much external stimulation, and he does not seek a lot off external approval. The self confident, introverted men is not afraid. Off spending time alone, however, he is also compatible off enjoying social time with others if he wants toe. The self confident, introverted man has a purpose in his life. He knows that introverts and extroverts are equally important. The self confident, introverted men does not suppress or hide his own feelings. Thoughts off years. He is willing to face the challenges that the world has to offer for him. The self confident, introverted man is proud of his abilities and achievements. He does not fear competition as he knows that he can always loan to work harder or smarter . If other people perceive him as shy or awkward, then it does not bother him much since he knows that this is only a superficial opinion that has nothing to do with his inner greatness. People who know him well really appreciate his modesty and hiss level off death. So what do you think? Do you like this type off men? Other, Maybe more features or characteristics which your ideal type, often introverted, confident men should have. If yes, then now is the time for you to write your very own definition off the introverted, confident men. See you later in the next chapter. 22. 20 strategies intro: in the next chapter, I will give you some strategies that will help you to have more confidence in social situations. Your introversion is a gift to humanity. And with the right recipe, you can show your social environment that you were so much more than just a quiet guy. 23. 21 body language: we introverts tend to be more still, and we tend to not talkto as many people as extroverts. However, in the first step on the non verbal ever, we control the world that we are indeed confident and competent thanks to the right body language. We can express this without a singer would. Body language does not also influence our own hormone levels, but also influences how other people do perceive us. Oftentimes, people in the past thought that I was arrogant, although in reality I was really afraid off social situations. I was just afraid off being judged by myself. Thus I was often in my own head. Instead of being present in the moment, I was also afraid off eye contact because I had fear that someone could see my inferiority so often we introverts not only withhold verbally, but also do not offer a lot nonverbally. So the next time when you have conversations, train yourself to have a more open body language, Do not close your body with your arms. Try at least to smile to a little extent, look out for eye contact and tried to hold it. Express with your body that you are open for communication, not in conversations. If you agree, show with your eyes your feelings show authentic interest with your open body language. 24. 22 eyes: especially the topic I contact can be a real blocker for positive communication. Thus, in this video, I want to share some tricks with you. First, try to focus on the point between D I. Breaux's. If you want to hold eye contact better in the future, I see it as a game. Look out for feelings in the person's face off course. You keep on listening with great attention, and in addition, you try to observe the feelings behind the words by looking your communication partner into the eyes. Another trick is to watch YouTube videos where the video presenter is talking into the camera. Since the person on the other end does not see you, you can do this exercise as often and as long as you want to. Another trick is to place a little object on the top off your TV and why your TV is running fully. Focus your view on that little object on top off your TV. Try to hold your focus as long as you can repeat this exercise a few times during the day. If you do, all dimension I exercise is we have not talked about on a regular basis then your eye contact will become much better and you will not Furat anymore. As you can see, you can communicate a lot without even saying that's saying a word. The topic. Body language has a lot off improvement potential for us introverts. It is an easy way where we can pretend or present us in a better way, and it will not cost us much from our social energy. So no, it's again your tour. Start writing a list off your current body language. How do you present yourself in meetings in the bus in the train at school Already work what on the areas which you should fix. Is it eye contact? Do you need to smile more often? Could you express more by using your hands? Choose your first area and start working on it today. 25. 23 friends: we introverts do not mind spending time alone. That is good, since we do not need. Since we do need this time to recharge our social batteries. However, it is also really important that we do not isolate. I waas health completely from the outer world. Humans are social beings and we would few miserable in the long term if we are lonely all the time, redeem. We do not need a massive amount off friends, but at least we need a close circle off people to whom we can relate to and people that we can trust as a confident, introverted man. We consciously decide to be proactive when it comes to our social relationships. If we do not want to hang out at a big party that a friend has suggested us. Then we declined politely but offer an alternative meeting another day where we can hang out in a small room. Also, we are not afraid off inviting friends to our own place. Every now and then, we can also make a weekly on month we which will where we meet our friends one day we do things that are what friends like. And the other day we do things that we like. Also, we are not afraid off speaking with our family members and friends about our introversion and communicate clearly our meets. 26. 24 alone: Maybe currently you are the point in your life. Where do you do not have a lot of friends? Or maybe they live far away. Then you need to get out of your comfort zone, but only to a certain extent, such for group activities in your current environment, which are related to your patients and interests. Maybe you'd like to play football or soccer, or you would like to dance. Our yoga is your thing, then consciously registered to such a group activity, even if you're not someone that generally gets easy in touch with new people. Since you know that the people at this group activity she had the same patients, it will be easier for you to find things to talk about. Also, if you are new at a school or a new workplace, maybe you already have noticed another Pilsen that often spends time alone and does not socialize that much. As a truly confident, introverted man, you decide to do the first step and talked with that person. Chances are high that this Pilsen, it's also an introvert and might be very happy to talk to you 27. 25 toxic: Another important point to talk about are toxic people, social interactions, toe Costas energy. Now imagine that you have to waste your limited social energy with negative people. Dead would be even worse. They say that you become the some off those five people that you spend the most time with. No, just imagine that your circle of friends consists only off people that are either negative evil off full off self pity. Those kind of people do not bring you forward in life at all. I know that this is a difficult topic off course. You can try to help your friends to solve their issues. However, if you realize in the long term that they do not change at all, then it is not your duty to create a more positive life for them. Instead, you could rather try to be a rowing water, a role model that these heights to let himself not influence by the negativity around him. As a truly self confident, introverted man, you can decide toe cut the toxic relationships in your life. You do not want a life full off negativity. Hate. Oh, pessimism. You want a life full off energy fun love and inspiration. You can replace the toxic relations in your life with relationships that positive failure to your life. 28. 26 small talk: Maybe you are familiar with one off the following situations. There is an elevator at your work, but even when your office is on the fourth floor, you always take stills. You see someone familiar on the streets, but you avoid eye contact and pretend that you did not see that person. You stay long on the toilet as needed. Just because you hurt some steps in the floor, they're probably doesn't more situations, which I could list you where I personally tried to avoid small talk by any means. Small talk is something which many introverts do not like or isn't here. I never really enjoyed small talk and did not know how a good small talk should look like. I bought plenty off books on that topic in my youth, and though they helped me to some extent, they never explained me why I felt so awkward when do in small talk. Well, even though we introverts might annoyed and Joyce more talk, small talk is still an important part off social interactions. How else should strangers get in touch without directed sharing to personal information? As a truly confident, introverted man, we are not afraid off small talk anymore. We use our introverted potential to dig deeper and create greater conversations out off superficial, more talk if you want to. So the next time someone talks to you about the weather once again, just think that person mentally that he or she wants to connect with you, then respond. But instead of focusing, for example, on Lee on the current weather, try to influence the topic by asking great related questions. You could ask about upcoming vacations, all spare time activities. Just listen closely. So what is being said and try to process that information toe? Ask awesome questions that lead away from boring, superficial, small talk. Two enjoyable, deeper conversations. 29. 27 listening: no matter if small talk or real conversations, we introverts tend to not talk that much. This, on the other hand, allows us to listen more actively. Active listening is a great ability that many people do appreciate a lot in school, at work or any other area. If you are able to listen well, then you can have many advantages. If you are able to listen actively to read extra material and you are not afraid off spending time, learning instead off meeting friends every now and then, then chances are very high that you will achieve awesome. Great. I had really great success at school and university due to my listening skills. They helped me becoming on a student. Even I'd work. I was often promoted without me personally asking for the promotions actively when listening well to your superiors and just doing your job in a proper way without talking that much. But with responding with actions and then your boss will most likely recognize your real value quite fast. I hope by now you have finally understood that your introversion can deliver you many advantages 30. 28 speak: listening is important, however, communication is two sided. We do not want to appear as an interviewer who only asks questions but is not willing to show information about himself, especially if you want to be more like by your fellow students. Work weeks off. Look partners, then you should not be afraid off sharing personal information about yourself. You can start by telling person information that is harmless. You can talk about your pets, your patients and interests or books that you are reading and soul. We do not want toe overload our conversation partners with our personal problems, but we can share the funny and interesting site off our mysterious life with them As a truly confident, introverted man. We are not afraid off being judged. The good people in your environment will appreciate that you are willing to let your guard down to some extent for them, and they will look forward to get to know you better. 31. 29 work alone: in the following chapter, we are going to talk about some strategies for your social interactions. Duren, your daily life. These strategies should help you to master difficult situations without your introversion hindering you. So most probably you as an introvert like to preach, like to work alone. However, sooner or later you will need to work with others. You may need to work with customers. You may need to work with fellow students or work colleagues, meetings and teamwork. Maybe also a challenge for you for meetings or brainstorming sessions. You could, for example, communicate that you will deliver your input in written form, for example, after the meeting has ended. As you need time to process the information that has been provided during group work and activities, you could ask for those tasks where activities are needed that fit your style better. So, for example, choose to do the search off information where you can work on your own. Maybe instead, off doing the customer surveys where you have to talk to a lot of people 32. 30 results: communication is a core part off work. Communication can happen verbally or in written form as influence. We tend to be better and written instead off already. Communication quite often when you work, allows it use as much written communication as possible. For example, e mails, Chet's and other messaging services. Written text is easier for us to process, and we can take time to process to given information and then respond in a proper manner. Off course. There will be always people who will want to discuss things directly with you, either in person or on the phone. That is also okay. Just try to keep your calmness even when tension doing the conversation is rising. Try to maintain your coolness just because others are better and faster in communicating directly that thoughts into verbal votes, you should not set yourself on the pressure. You can say that you will work on your current task and then get back to that person once your time allows it. Or you can also say that you will research the problem and then report your results at a later point 33. 31 career: Maybe you are still in school or you are really unhappy with your current shop. Maybe your work feuds exhausting to you or costs a lot off your energy and you do not feel good at all. Maybe your parents have a certain career wish for you, but you are not feeling well when thinking about your future career. You are not obliged to make sure that your carrier, if it's totally to your introversion maybe despite your introversion, you still can be a great entertainer who can fill entire arenas. However, if you want to have a well balanced work life with your introversion, then you might consider careers that will not drain your social better. Is that much? I personally, for example, could never imagine toe work as a salesman, since I do not enjoy talking dead much with strangers. So if you as an introvert, enjoy more toe work mostly on your own, please have a look at the list of jobs here such a software developer on data based developer. Any other profession in I t accountant, text, auditor controller, scientists, any profession with animals, interior designer, other designers. Of course, this list can be easily prolonged with other drops. The core commonality off thes chops is that they do not require a lot off social interactions with other human beings. These jobs require to concentrate for longer periods on a certain task and to have an eye for detail off course. You can also pursue careers that are more extroverted friendly, such as salesman jobs and the customer support chops. And, of course, enter an event manager and insurance agent care giver, entertainer hadrt esa actor. Just because you are an introvert, it does not mean that you cannot be great in one off those jobs. However, as these chops usually require a lot off social interactions, it may be the case that these jobs really do cost a lot off your social energy. This could have also an impact off other areas in your life, or that you simply need a lot off time to recover and tow fully function at work. I certainly do not want to limit your career opportunities with these information. I just want to make it clear that as a truly confident, introverted man, you are the creator. Off your own luck, you can choose that carry a path that feels right to you. You do not need permission from anyone else to go after the things that you want. In the best case scenario, you can really spread your light with your introversion in your career. If that is important to you. Also, it is never too late to choose a new career path. Even it's dead. Path has nothing to do with your prior work or prior academic career. I myself am a fresh starter in my industry, and I can tell that I am really happy having a job that fits with my introverted needs. So before you go on with this course, make a list off your dream shop. What activities should it include? How should your dream work environment look like? How should your daily work life look like? We will see each other once you have finished this task? 34. 32 important recharge: Sometimes life can be really stressful for us. Introverts, social, inter extra ants do customs energy. However, they are core part off our life. We are social beings with a work life, private life, family life and so on. So in order, toe not only function well but to really enjoy a balanced life full of joy and energy, we need to make sure that we regularly recharge our batteries. Make sure to get enough good sleep to stay whiter and recharge physically and mentally. Enjoy a bath alone. We're reading a book. For example, Enjoy your time alone in a sauna on a spa. Get energy out off nature and go walking regularly. Oh turnell A fee. You can go jogging or cycling outdoors. Also, you're allowed to spend your lunch time alone. Don't be afraid off being judged for that as a truly confident, introverted men. You know that you are able to socialize if you want to. If commuting is part off your life, make sure to get great books or all your books that will inspire you daily. Family life can be sometimes stressful as well, especially with kids or extroverted partners. Here it is important toe openly communicate your needs. Make sure to have private rooms where you can isolate every now and then. Alternatively, you can do count activities with your family that will help you to recharge. You could go for walking. You could go walking in the forest, for example, with your family. Sometimes our introverted mind is full of thoughts. Then sometimes even watching TV can help you to relax. Just enjoy some hours on the coach and watch your favorite movies or Siri's. Being creative and producing something can also help you to recharge. I personally like to write things or to create online courses. It feels good to ride out. My thoughts in a written form ought to create courses. It's just nice to produce something. Maybe you also have a creative talent that it's waiting for being shared with the world. Enjoy your time alone and exercise sport activities on your own. Go swimming or to the gym every now and then, without friends or partners. Use the time to recherche or social batteries and to do something good for your body. Relaxing music can also help you perfectly. To recharge. Music is really great too easily and quickly reduce stress. Sometimes when I am really angry or stressed and I do not know how to express my feelings, I just start cleaning the house and tidying up. Yes, truly confident, introverted man. It's not afraid off using the broom if it's good to create structure and to organize things . And this way the bad feelings are then transformed toe positive feelings, and the energy is used for something productive. Just try it out. By now, you have seen that many possibilities exist to recharge your batteries regularly. So if you have a date or shop interview, are networking event ahead. Make sure that days before those events you fool, you recharge your batteries. Enjoy your time alone toward a full extent, and once you are facing the social situation, you will have no problems in mastering it. You also do not need to consume a lot off alcohol to better enjoy parties. Just recharge your batteries and prepare yourself for those situations 35. 33 end: So, my dear friend, we are now facing the end off the course. You deserve a lot off respect for being able to listen to my voice that long. Others might not endure this torment. So concrete's for making it this far. I really appreciate that you have invested your precious time into this course. Introverts and extroverts, equally important for society. Do not make the mistake toe. Hate your introversion. Learn to embrace and love your introverted nature. Make sure to use your introverted abilities to your own advantage. Your self confidence, your career and your social success lie in your own hands. With the right energy and strategies, you can achieve a lot in your life. The world is yours and one day you will look back at the past times when you were full of doubts. You do not need to be an extrovert to be a real rock star in all areas off your life. With the right confidence and four side, you will achieve things in the future which you can only dream off today. I really hope you like this course on, and I would like to hear suggestions or feedback that you have also, if you like, just let me know what kindof introverted topics you would like to see in the future. Such as passive income for introverts or Karisma for introverts or relationship courses for introverts. It has been an honor for me. Toe accompany you on this, Johnny. I hope the two off us see us again on another place. Fire will, my dear, introverted friend.