7 Destructive Mindsets That Steal Your Success (and how to get rid of them) | Dawid Tuminski | Skillshare

7 Destructive Mindsets That Steal Your Success (and how to get rid of them)

Dawid Tuminski, www.dawidtuminski.com

Play Speed
  • 0.5x
  • 1x (Normal)
  • 1.25x
  • 1.5x
  • 2x
10 Lessons (24m)
    • 1. 7 Destructive Mindsets That Steal Your Success Promo Video

      0:58
    • 2. 1Destructive Mindset No 1

      3:31
    • 3. 2Destructive Mindset No 2

      3:01
    • 4. 3Destructive Mindset No 3

      3:15
    • 5. 4Destructive Mindset No 4

      2:05
    • 6. 5Destructive Mindset No 5

      2:55
    • 7. 6Destructive Mindset No 6

      2:28
    • 8. 7Destructive Mindset No 7

      2:12
    • 9. 8Summary

      2:09
    • 10. Class Project

      1:30

About This Class

How we think largely determines our destiny. 

Our wealth, our status, our success is born in our minds.

That’s why it is vital to get rid of the destructive mindsets that steal your success.

And the best part?

Anyone can do it.

Because anyone can

  • Turn their life into a success even if they think that their best days are over
  • Achieve excellent results without the feeling of imperfection
  • Take charge of their life and make it a stream of achieved goals

Both success and failure are born in your mind.

It’s up to your mindset which one of them will grow.

When you develop the mindsets of highly successful people you will have the most powerful weapon at your disposal.

So enroll in the class and don’t let the destructive mindsets rob you from the success you deserve.

Transcripts

1. 7 Destructive Mindsets That Steal Your Success Promo Video: How we think largely determines our destiny. Our wealth, our status are a success is born in our minds. That is why it is vital to get rid of the destructive mindsets that steal your success and the best part. Anyone can do it because everyone can turn their life into a success, even if they think that their best days are over. Anyone can achieve excellent results without the feeling of imperfection or take charge of their life and mega days stream off achieved goals. Both success and failure are born in your wind. It's up to you, which one of them will grow When you develop the mindsets of highly successful people, you will have the most powerful weapon at your disposal, so enrolled in the class. And don't let the destructive mindsets rob you from the success you deserve. 2. 1Destructive Mindset No 1: every now and then I hear people saying that they think they are too old to change something about their lives or their toe old to try something, even if it has been their dream for a long time or something. They really enjoy doing, and they occasionally do it, but they can't make it the center of their lives. The saddest and most surprising thing about it is that quite often it's the people who are in their mid twenties who say it met twenties. Once I had a friend who claimed he was too old to laugh and he was around 30. This particular case might be a symptom of something more serious, but the point I am making is that more and more people fall into a trap off thinking they're too old to change their lives. I think that the cause of this lies in the tempo in which the world is revolving. These days, when you browse the Web, watch TV or listen to the radio, you are bombarded with success stories off blatant little young people who made millions within a year doing something on their computers. The other reason for it could be directly in your head. If you're constantly beating yourself over the past decisions you made, you keep reminisce and the choices you made in high school in college, at what lousy jobs you took. You keep coming up with examples of your past mistakes and keep complaining about your choices. Inevitably, you focus on what you did wrong, and the more you do it, the worst picture of yourself you paint in your head. It's a dangerous mindset trap, but luckily there is a cure for it. What you need to do is to accept two facts. Older past decisions. All your past choices were made in certain circumstances. In a certain situation, those choices were made based on the knowledge and experience you had at that time. If you consider yourself as a rational human being who doesn't indulge in any self destructive activities or thoughts, and I really hope you do, you need to realize that your past choices were made based on the best know that you had back then and the best recognition over thoughts and goals. It's a dangerous trap, judging your past decisions based on the knowledge and experience you have now, it most often leads to. If I only knew back then, kind of thinking what you experienced is what you learned, and you need to focus on all the knowledge you gained and keep it in mind when making your choices. Now. The second fact is that if you really want to do something or change something, there's always the right time to do it. If only now you started to realize what you want to achieve. It simply means that now is the right time for you that it is your time, so to speak. All your past experiences and choices lead you to the place you are now in. And who knows, Maybe without them, you wouldn't have discovered some truths about you. End your life shift in your mindset and starting to consider your past as what it really is the past and accepting that if something happened, it apparently had to happen. To give you a valuable life lesson will allow you to forgive yourself and start a happier life without comparing yourself to other people. This, by the way, is another paralyzing mindset worth dressing, but we will do that in the next video 3. 2Destructive Mindset No 2: comparing your situation with the situation off. Other people can be dangerous for various reasons, but the most important of them is not understanding the background off those situations. I mean, every life path is different. Every life path has its own unique story. If you're comparing your achievements with the achievements off others, you might also be missing the time frame in which those achievements were made. You might be comparing your situation with a situation of someone who started earlier than you, who has a completely different background. Ferguson's. If you're comparing yourself to someone like Richard Branson, you may easily get disheartened. What's even worse? But often those comparisons focus on what you haven't achieved yet on what you are missing on your own failures and not on anything that can be positive. The easiest solution to this problem. The easiest way to shift this destructive mindset is to change the person you are comparing yourself to, and that person should be yourself. Really. The only thing you can do is to focus on doing your best focus on constant improvement. Focus on developing your skills, focus on your own progress if you do everything the best way you can in a certain situation , and under certain circumstances there's really not much more you can do, and you just need to accept it. You will feel a great relief, but if it keep working on yourself, you will keep achieving more and more because you will become more and more. As Jim Royle once put it. Success is something you attract rather than something new. Pursue. Most of us compare our earnings toe earnings of other people because we usually define our success based on the amount of money we have. But it's a dangerous trap because we will get different results depending on what we compare our earnings, too. I mean, if you compare your earnings to the earnings off Bill Gates, you might think you got nothing. But if you compare your earnings to the earnings of people in Afghanistan, you will consider yourself a millionaire. You need to shift your mindset and compare your results with your own previous results. In terms of money. If you have enough of it to buy everything you need, that's all that matters, and you don't need to compare yourself to other people. As Grant Cardone, one of the most famous self made millionaires puts it, you need to focus on expanding your potential in terms of earning. Comparing yourself to other people and judging your success based on their achievements is a dangerous trap. It can be escaped, though. If you decide to focus on your own efforts and track your own progress without comparing it to anyone but yourself. It's quite often caused by trying to achieve perfection. What you do and at the same time, is another dangerous mindset trap, which will talk about in the next video. 4. 3Destructive Mindset No 3: You know, I gotta confess I've been caught in this mindset trap for quite a long time, and I am so relieved I escaped from it. I am happy that now I can share some simple tips that can help other people who are still being caught in the perfection trap. Have you ever spent hours trying to make something, look some or feel perfect? You're focusing on every little aspect of your work. Just so no one thinks it is not good enough. This is a result off the way you think about yourself. You are caught in a mindset trip that forces you to achieve perfection. Basically, in everything you do most often, it is caused by low self esteem that, in this particular case, was prevented from growing by people who didn't appreciate your work and efforts in the past. Building self esteem is a long and quite often a painful process. It is a different subject on its own that requires particular attention. But in this video you will learn some simple tips that will help you in escaping from this mindset trap are is total. One said that we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit. Notice that he used the word excellence that perfection as perfection is setting yourself unrealistic. Lee demanding goals, whereas excellence is the quality of being extremely good or outstanding. Excellence comes with practice and effective working. If it could, trying and senior work as progress, you will achieve excellence. The simple shift in looking at your work as a stage in your development net as its final meaning perfect version will help you in getting better and silence in your self criticism . When you feel you're criticising yourself way too much, ask yourself what you would say to a dear friend. If they were in your situation, would you criticise them as you're criticising yourself? Or would you be more forgiving and compassionate? Then direct those comments to you. You can even imagine yourself telling you all those compassionate words. Doing so will help you avoid damaging your self esteem further with the critical faults and help build it up. Instead, make a list of qualities you have that are meaningful in the specific context. For example, qualities that make you a good relationship prospect a valuable simply or a great friend then choose one of the items on your list and write one or two paragraphs about two. Why the quality is valuable and likely to be appreciated by other people in the future. Do this exercise every day for a week, or whenever you feel that your self esteem could use a boost. If you try to achieve perfection in what you do, you will achieve nothing for perfection doesn't exist. You'll keep trying to achieve something that cannot be achieved. It will cause you a great deal of disappointment and diminish your self esteem. Instead, consider your work as constant learning, a striving for excellence that can only be achieved by trial and error. 5. 4Destructive Mindset No 4: many people get caught in the mindset trap that forces them to keep thinking about the past or waiting for the future. They focus on what has already happened mostly on the bad things, and they wait for the future, hoping it will bring solutions to their problems. They keep reminisce and missed opportunities. They keep regretting that they didn't take the chance. They debate with themselves, often starting each sentence with If only they wait for some circumstances in the future that will somehow so their problems, even though they do nothing for those circumstances to happen. The biggest problem with that is that both the past and the future are beyond our control. We can't alter the past and we cannot foresee the future. The best thing we can do is to focus on the present. The ancient Eastern philosophies solved this problem like this. If something has happened, apparently it had to happen. If something is happening now, apparently it happens for a reason, and if there is room in your life for something to come, it will come. It's a complete shift in the attitude. Instead of fighting with your past, you need to accept that there is nothing you can do to change it, and the best way to secure your future is to get ready for it now. Changing your mindset so it helps to stay in the present is not easy. It's a process that takes some time and effort. The best way to do it is to try to live a more mindful life and by mindful, I mean alive focused on present experiences on present events live that accepts the past as what it truly is. It's something that is gone. Don't let yourself get caught up in a vicious cycle of reminisce and all the things that have happened in the past, especially all the bad things, all the mistakes you made. Remember that all you can do is what you can do now. Using the resource is you have at your disposal right now. Not next month, not a month ago, but now 6. 5Destructive Mindset No 5: If your actions depend on external circumstances, you're most likely caught in one of these destructive mindsets. You are either waiting for the situation to change. In other words, you keep waiting for the right time or you are waiting for someone to decide for you. Both of these kinds of mindsets are paralyzing, and they're stealing your most valuable resource your time. Being passive is one of the traits of people who are okay with their lives. They know they can do better, but they are either too scared or not self confident enough to take more from it. Whereas successful people are not waiting for the right opportunity to come, they try to help that opportunity toe happen. They try to get themselves ready for it because when it comes, they want to take the most out of it. This kind of attitude is called productivity, and it is a part of the mind set of the most successful people. They don't wander what the situation conduce about them, but what they can do about this situation taking initiated, changing the situation or when the change is not possible at the just into it by dirt, taking certain action is all a part of the mindset of the successful people. This kind of attitude is extremely helpful and, quite frankly, inevitable. If you want to achieve your goals, especially those ambitious ones. In complete opposition to productivity, stance, reactivity and reactivity is a trade off. People who cannot but most often do not want to take control of their lives. They neglect the fact that they have the power to make the changes they secretly desire. A reactive person, an unsuccessful person focuses on the things you would like to have an a proactive person focus on what he might become to achieve his goals. First Inns, a reactive person would say something like, If only I had a better job, whereas a proactive person would think something like, I can be more resourceful to find another job. A reactive person would say, if only I had more money, whereas a proactive person would say, What could I do to make more money? I once had a friend who was a quintessence of reactivity. He couldn't find a jump, and he kept saying, I'd like someone to just call me and say, Hey, I got a jump for you and it's well paid. He didn't put any effort in changing his attitude, and I believe he is still unemployed. So if you feel like your life is making all the decisions for you, it's time to escape from the destructive mindset off reactivity and start being proactive. Remember that you have the ability to take charge of your life. 7. 6Destructive Mindset No 6: have you had people who keep complaining or yelling at the TV when they're watching the news? I bet you got friends who drag you into conversations about things. Neither they nor you have any control over. Those people focus on the things that lie beyond their influence. In other words, they can do nothing about them. They waste a lot of time and energy to express negative feelings about the things they have no power over. For instance, they keep going back to their past choices, which they can't undo or change their consequences. Of course, we all have problems. We all worry about something. Our health, our Children, problems at work, mortgage, tsunami in Asia or words in Africa. And when we take a closer look at them, we will notice that we have no control over many of these concerns that we are emotionally involved in. However, we do have control over some of them. It's the ones we can influence directly, and these should be the ones we should be focusing on. If you just concentrate on the things you can directly do something about, you will free up a lot of your time and energy that's so far you've been wasted on trying to solve all the world's crises. This can be wrapped up in a simple passage like this one. I accept the things that are inevitable. I have the courage to change the things I can change, and I have the wisdom to tell one from the other. Escaping this mindset can also have a tremendous effect on achieving your goals. You should create goals that you have the total power to achieve. Consider goals that are beyond your control as dreams. They're more likely to come true if you meet your goals. Samuel Johnson, a famous English 18th century offer, once wrote that people who don't understand the human nature never try to change themselves when they look for happiness. That's why they live unhappy lives. If you accept this mindset change, you'll understand that both success and happiness are a matter off choice, a choice of concentrating your time and energy on things You can change and control, letting go of the things that are beyond your influence. It's one of the key things to a batter, more successful life 8. 7Destructive Mindset No 7: this one might come as Arvis. And yet so many people indulge in concentrating their thoughts on the bad aspects of events . Moreover, quite often they keep thinking only about the bed potential aspects off things that merely might happen. This creates an illusion of a high quantity off bad aspects of life and life events. Psychology knows a phenomenon called a Baader Meinhof effect, or the illusion of frequency. It says that the more you think of something, the more you seat wherever you go. Remember when you wanted to buy a certain car? You were thinking about it all the time and you noticed that somehow there's a lot more off this specific car make on the streets off. That's the illusion of frequency. Saying goes with your thoughts. The more of negative thoughts you have, the more negative things you notice around. And if you believe in the law of attraction, the more negative things happen to you because you become a negative event magnet. But it's not just about concentrating on the negative aspects of things or events. It's also about noticing what you don't have or haven't accomplished. Instead of noticing what you reached or succeeded in. Luckily, this negative mindset can be efficiently changed by practicing gratitude and the easiest way to practice gratitude is toe list All the good things that happened to you in a certain day. You can do this just before you go to bed. Simply tell yourself all the good things that happened to you today. At first you might be tempted to find something really big and ignored the small things. But if you fight this urge well, let's start noticing all the good things that you from being taken for granted so far. For instance, that you commuted toe work without any problems, that you ate a tasty lunch, that you had a good parking spot, etcetera, etcetera. It's all about reprogramming your mind to focus on the good things, so you notice more off them at more of them happen to you. 9. 8Summary: These are other seven mindsets that try to keep you away from success and happiness to something's up with, briefly revise our list. First we talked about changing the mindset that forces you to think that you're too old to do something you always wanted. We noticed that in order to change this mindset, we have to accept that the choices we made in the past were based on our best knowledge we had back then, and we shouldn't criticize ourselves for not knowing batter. Then we talked about comparing your situation to the situation of other people. We learn to that in order to change this mindset, we need to understand that each life situation is different and that your only benchmark should your own past results. After that, we talked about how destructive trying to achieve perfection can be. We talked about the importance of building up our self esteem that can help in change in this mindset. Number four on our lists told us to start living in the present without holding back to our past or hoping for the future. We talked about how focusing on our present experiences can help us in freeing up our emotional energy. After that we talked about taking charge of our life and not making a dependable on the external circumstances. We talked about being proactive rather than reactive. Then we talked about change in the mindset that forces us to focus on the things we cannot change. Instead, we should concentrate on the things we have control over that directly depend on our actions. And lastly, we talked about concentrating on the positive aspects on things and events instead of trying to find only the bad things that have happened to us. I encourage you to review this list every once in a while to check if you are a victim off any off these destructive mindsets, and if you have managed to get rid of them or a t least started the process. 10. Class Project: for the class project would like it to do one simple thing. Review the list of the mindsets and choose the one that you think is blocking your success the most. Sharon. It can have a cleansing power and be the start of the healing process. In case you've forgotten something or you just want to review the list, take a look at the beauty of file attached to the class project. When you are done, just go to the Class Project section of the class and for the title, typing something like my blocking mindset and in the description right, something like the mindset that I want to get rid of his and then the name of the mindset, for instance, comparing yourself to others. And that's all. And if you like the class, please give it a thumbs up, and you can also write a few words of recommendation. If you feel like it, both the class project and your review will greatly help other students to discover this class and learn about getting rid off habits that hold people back from success. So I really appreciate you taking the time to write this class and submit your class project. I hope you enjoy the class and I'll see you in the next one. My name is David Tyminski.