31 Secrets of Influence Online | Jerry Banfield | Skillshare

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

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Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

33 Lessons (5h 32m)
    • 1. Welcome to 31 Secrets of Influence!

    • 2. Ask as an Equal

    • 3. Stay Ordinary

    • 4. Leap of Faith

    • 5. One True Fan

    • 6. Start with Skills

    • 7. Ignorance of the Big Picture

    • 8. Everyone's Guessing

    • 9. Benefits and Limitations

    • 10. We Rather than I

    • 11. Become Transparent

    • 12. More Money More Problems

    • 13. The Power of Story

    • 14. It's Okay to Be Unhappy for a Moment

    • 15. Processing Incoming Requests

    • 16. Advertising Works

    • 17. A Journey in Social Proof

    • 18. Choose What Influences us

    • 19. Create Freely

    • 20. The Power of Routine

    • 21. Become your own Champion

    • 22. Work Smart, Not Hard

    • 23. Negative Motivation

    • 24. Listen to your Body

    • 25. Ask and Receive

    • 26. More Doesn't Mean Better

    • 27. You Don't Need to Reinvent the Wheel

    • 28. The Gift of Imperfection

    • 29. Be Like Water

    • 30. 90% of Success is Just Showing up

    • 31. SFD

    • 32. Our Life's Purpose

    • 33. 31 Secrets of Influence Class Project

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About This Class

Will you take this class because inside are 31 secrets of influence helpful for reaching our maximum potential? As we create this class to share with millions of followers online, we are grateful you are here with us today because these strategies have made a fantastic difference in our lives! When we share what we do, we hope that more of us are empowered to claim our gifts and discover the courage to use them!

While we watch the videos in this class, we hope that inspiration comes today to give up the meaningless work so many of us call a job and step up into doing what we are excited about every day. We might start blogging and writing books on subjects we have the most passion for. We may be inspired to produce videos online sharing our most powerful stories. We could discover that our mission is to travel the world and connect directly with others.

Most of us have found that maximizing our influence is as simple as building deeper relationships with our family, friends, and neighbors. In sharing the 31 ways we think, we help build the necessary faith to start and continue doing what we love while trusting the universe to give us back what we need to in terms of money, power, and respect.

Would you please join us in enrolling in this class because we are excited to begin this journey together in 31 Secrets of Influence? We hope you love it as much as we do!

Jerry Banfield (instructor) and Tomas George (video recording and production)

Meet Your Teacher

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Jerry Banfield

Teaches 105 Skillshare Classes


You can become a MASTER OF DIGITAL MARKETING by following me on Skillshare and watching my classes each day!

BIO: 6 years sober, 4 years plant based diet, 7 years married, 4 years parenting, and 9 years as an entrepreneur online with 103 video classes on Skillshare, 21 books, 1082+ blog posts, 2,500+ YouTube videos, 1,000+ podcast episodes, and 70 songs on iTunes/Spotify!

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1. Welcome to 31 Secrets of Influence!: Welcome to the Secrets of Influence Master The game game. What game? The game of giving our gift to the world. Well, alright, More practical terms, Jer The game of maximizing our effectiveness in communicating through online video In making the work, we do make a real difference in doing what we love every single day in quantity. Yes, these things usually get us lots more subscribers. Lots more likes lots more shares. What we hope to share with you here in secrets of influence, is strategies that will make it much easier to unlock the full power. Each of us has to do persuasive communication online to put videos up that create an emotional response in the viewer to write in a way that sticks with the reader so much that the reader shares it and says, Can you believe what I just read the other day? Would you please go read this? My friend Thomas, we filmed this course together. He just referred me to a course. He said, Jury, this course by feels so good, you've got to take it. That's the power we want to unlock. I'm grateful you here with us today because these are the things that have made a fantastic difference in my life the ability to go on my computer and to make a real difference To share the unique gifts I have with the world with the hope that in me sharing you are empowered to share your gifts that you are inspired today to drop the crappy, boring worker doing and to sit down and do something that you're really, really excited about to write that blawg post that book that you've been meaning to do to put a video up online, sharing the best or the worst story of your life with the hope to help other people to have the faith to just jump in and start doing what you love and trust the universe will give you back what you need to support that. Thank you very much for starting this course with us and we hope you love it. Would you please join us in learning and remembering the strategies that have proven effective for us to be influential online starting out from zero? Because as soon as you see these strategies, you immediately start thinking of ways. Hey, you know what he did it? That way. I'll try and do it that way to or he did it that way. I'll do it a little different. And then the results will start coming for you as well. We're excited. Dead. Begin this journey with you and we hope you love it. 2. Ask as an Equal: Would you please watch this entire video? Because once you see what I'm sharing in it, you'll have a much easier time asking exactly for what you need. What did I just do there? I asked with wood. I used the word. Would you please? Which you can also do with Will you please? And then I put a reason in with it because what I've just shared is a secret toe. Persuasive communication in the form of empowered asking. In other words, we ask as equals. What I just asked you was something of an equal which it's safe for you to say No. Okay, back up a minute, Jerry. What are you talking about? A lot of us are uncomfortable asking for the things we need. For example, we need money and we go around with our heads down. Can you give me a couple of bucks? And we have a hard time asking for the things we really want or we take the opposite approach of putting our heads down. We bluster in and try and sell and say, You better give me that money because our I got a gun. You better give me that money. I'm gonna take it. One of the most powerful skills four influence is to learn to ask as an equal using effective communication. I prefer to ask with the word would or will combined with, because the science I've listened to an audiobook shows that when we ask something and include a reason people are more responsive. One of the favorite studies I recall of this was a research program where participants would cut in the line of the copier picture. Inside the library, people are running copies. The researcher then attempts to cut in line. The researcher used the different strategies to cut in line. Long story short, the most effective strategy was toe ask. Would you let me cut in line Because and then insert the reason. The incredible thing was the reason itself didn't even matter as long as there was a reason given. Most people said yes, because most of us are very reasonable people. And when we're asked as an equal, most of us are very responsive, especially if it's safe to say no. For example, would you please give me $500? Now you might feel safe saying No, not going to give you $500 but you at least respect the spirit. I asked that in. Now, if I come at you saying, Can you give me $500? With no reason? This often promotes hostility and defensiveness when we want to be influential online. It's critical that we ask in exactly the right way, because the amount of action that results can be 10 100 times as much as if we ask in a way that is manipulative or that is down or up, a Zyl put it. Manipulative is often sales pitch e. Come on by this class. I'm gonna show you these things, and it often involves dancing and trying and frustrating and effort and persuasion and secrets. We don't want to be manipulative because people tend to have a backlash against that. I've been manipulative a lot in my life, and that's how you lose friends. That's how you lose customers. This key to influence is you want to have relationships over time. Therefore, effective asking is important because we want people to say yes on Lee if they really mean it. If in the example, I just asked you for $500 you say? Yes. Then I want you to really feel good about giving me $500. I don't want you to give me $500 but feel like you did something dirty or you got hustled for this often is incredibly important when it comes to our sex lives where ah lot of us have a really hard time just honestly asking something like, Would you have sex with me because I'm horny tonight? You see, that might sound of funny or awkward, but a lot of us have a hard time asking for some of our most important needs, and we try and coerce or manipulator get the other person to figure out what we want them to do. But if we just ask, it's a lot easier. If you have a course to sell, for example, and you try and sell it. Come on its on its $10 today, and it will only be at this price. If you use all those manipulative marketing tools, you may make sales. I've made millions of dollars in sales online, using a lot of those manipulative tools, and I've lost a lot of customers, probably 98% of people who bought my courses through manipulative sales methods didn't stick with me. And that's why today, if I have something to sell, I sell it like this. Would you please buy this course? Because when you use it, you will feel empowered to maximize your influence online? That's a simple request, which is easy to say yes or no to this influence technique is very helpful in things like a relationship. One trick to do this is to avoid the word can or could. This is a form of manipulative asking because it implies a forced yes response. If I had asked you, can you give me $500? Well, it's probably possible for you to give me $500. Technically, the truth is, I'm fairly certain you could give me $500. If you have a PayPal account, use crypto currencies. I'm fairly certain it's possible for you to give me $500. Therefore, I'm trying to manipulate you into saying yes, because the truth is probably yes. That's why I stick with asking would and will. And you wouldn't believe how effective that is on the post. I make on steam for example, I asked at the end of the post for exactly what I want. Would you please up vote this post? Because that's how I know to make new ones a very clear response. What I see a lot of other authors do that doesn't work as well. They just say, Vote at the end of it now. Do you like being told things to do? I don't. I walked in the door the other day and my wife immediately asked me to walk over and sit on the couch because the dog was barking. You know what? I didn't react very well. I was just like a pouty child final. Good. Sit down on the couch for a minute because most of us don't like being told what to do. If I tell you, give me $500 right now. Your initial response Probably be f. You know I won't. You see if we want to maximize their influence online asking and equal makes a huge difference if we're comfortable all these things. But we have a hard time with the equal parts. The simple way we can do this is to see that every human being is our equal. If we ask as an equal, it's a lot easier. I'm just one person to another right here. I'm not better than you. I'm not worse than you. And this makes asking for things like money a lot easier. A lot of us have times when we need to ask for money. And if we do it looking at while I'm asking for money. Therefore, I'm less than this person I'm asking. We often beg or grovel, and that is an influence ruin. Er, we don't want a bagger grovel. You don't beggar grovel with unequal. You simply walk up and ask them another way is the opposite when we're the boss or we feel like we're some powerful influence or online. Then we try and ask down lots of times, which often ends up being a command. Hey, you better do this because I told you so. I'm so important that when we're in the opposite position and we need to ask something like the boss, we often say, Would you do this or else we use coercion instead of just honest asking? I asked my daughter to do things. She's two years old, even though I could just pick her up in maker, get her diaper on. I asked her, Would you please let me put your diaper on? Because then we can go to the store. I use this with a two year old, and you know what she says? No. Lots of times. No, no. But on the sixth or seventh time, I ask often shall just let me put a diaper on with no problems. Whereas if I try and use force, she sit there and flail around. No, no, don't put my diaper on. You see, influential asking starts with being an equal and finishes with a request often using would or will matched with a reason because and then ends with it being safe to say yes or no. If you made it all the way to the end of this. I'm very grateful. You said yes to that initial question I asked at the very beginning of this. And I hope this is really helpful for you today to feel safe, asking for everything you need and to make it safe for other people to say no or yes, to give you back what you want. Thank you for experiencing the secret of influence with me. I hope it's really helpful for you 3. Stay Ordinary: would you learn about having our ear to the ground with May? But cause when we see how our influence is closely matched to feed back then we have the power to effectively give the most and therefore to become the most influential. I say having my ear to the ground because that's an old Indian way of listening for horses , Native Americans listening to hear if horses were riding or animals were coming, you could put your ear to the ground and here what was happening around you from a greater distance than just standing up in listening. In influence terms, this means to be among the people. What can happen to a lot of us is when things actually do go our way. We tend to withdraw a bit and build these fortresses around ourselves and isolate. We make more money, so we buy a better house in a neighborhood where we don't have to be around any of those poor people. We get to be a bigger deal online. We stop reading the comments, we stop reading the reviews. We stopped looking at what people are saying, and we start to get lost in our own fantasy. worlds. I've went through these mistakes. Of course, I've been too big to read my YouTube comments At many points, I've been too big to answer questions or even handle customer support. When we get away from those basic tasks and interacting with the people, then we lose touch with what's happening. We lose contact with the people were helping because we really need that feedback. We need to see what those comments have to say Now. That doesn't mean if you've got ah, 100,000 subscribers, you need to read every single comment. This on your YouTube channel. It is good to check the comments. It is good if you're selling courses. To take a look at the reviews doesn't mean if you have 10,000 reviews, you need to read every single one. And it doesn't mean you need to spend hours and hours all day obsessing over the comments. What I've found. It helps me a lot to make sure I weighed in with the masses, so to speak that I don't become up and this ivory tower in the sky of my perfect life. But I experience my life around me on an ordinary level. I don't have someone go buy my groceries, even though I could pay for that. I go to the grocery store and shop like a normal person. I washed dishes. I take the trash. Oh, it's important for each of us to be an ordinary person and to have ordinary interactions. The goal is not to, ah, level up so much that we can be stuck in these nice houses with servants, and we can be free of all of the things that bind ordinary people of the ground. The goal is to be an ordinary person who feels complete love and joy in our daily lives. What I find is that when I go into and respond to comments when I try and interact with viewers and readers as much as possible that I get very helpful feedback, I'm so ordinary that even though what might appear extraordinary Oh my God, you've got these millions of followers. You've made all this money online. Some days, all that's not enough. Some days I feel like the work I do is complete crap and no one cares about it. And what's the point, anyway? And viewing the comments often helps me out a lot, Jerry. I love this video. It helped me so much, and that motivates me. OK, I'll do another one. It helps me see things. How you see it if you want to be influential, that's critical is to be able to see things. How others see it. One of the places of pain is to just exist in our own minds by ourselves and to feel like we're all alone and no one understands. Ah, place of great joy and pleasure is to hop around and everyone else's mind and see things from many points of view. What helps us to do that is to stay ordinary. Don't ever aim to be so extraordinary that you can experience the beauty oven, ordinary life, and that way we do the most weekend to help each other. I try and respond to comments online every day, and I'm even grateful for the negative comments I received the comments that are critical. There's some comment yesterday I shared some of my mistakes, and that commenter said, Well, is this real change, or is this just you got caught in your admitting your mistakes? Only time will tell, and that comment bothered me. I'm like it's real change. Definitely. Riel changed. And then, like, what about this? Do I need to learn? What I learned out of it is it helps me to see from many different viewpoints to not just see from the only God jury is a god viewpoint. Everything he says is right and not to see from the Jerries and evil monster kill yourself . I hate you Disgusting. You're a moron. But to see all of those viewpoints and put them together that some people think I'm an idiot today. Some people think I'm a gift from God today that most people never heard of me before. The idea with influences to see that each of us is extremely influential in the world, but not any more than or less than the people around us. Therefore, every person's feedback is valuable, and lots of times feedback can motivate us to improve even when it's painful. I just sold a course online that I got a lot of negative feedback, negative reviews, frustrated customers asking for refunds, more people in the steam community outraged. How dare you make a course that's talking about these things that are available for free end up. I adjusted my entire business off of that. Fine. I won't make any more of my own courses. I'll just for now put everything up for free. Ah, huge adjustment because of being down, having my ear to the ground and listening for what's going on around me in the French Revolution, Louie the 16th and his wife, Marie Internet. They lost touch with the people so much they got into their own lives above the poor average French peasants so much that the French peasants decided to stick them on the guillotine and cut their heads off. And that's exactly what happens to us, either. Metaphorically, er, actually, if we lose touch with the ordinary people in our lives, we lose touch with the ordinary person in our hearts. Then we end up losing everything thing. I hope this is helpful to maintain and build influence and to enjoy the work we do each day . 4. Leap of Faith: will you join us and looking at the critical element of taking a leap of faith? Because when we learn how to take a leap of faith, we can embrace opportunities and a level of influence which seemed beyond any reasonable expectation. What do I mean by leap of faith? I mean, I have no script right now. I have no idea what I'm going to say next. I didn't sit there and plan this out. I didn't even know we were going to film this specific course. Today I put myself in a position to be useful to be of service. I pray to give the most I can each day to maintain my health. I try and love those around me and do the best I can. And that's the leap of faith to not demand that I know exactly what is going to happen to trust that if I put myself in the right position, the universe will give me everything else I need. This filming set up is the most beautiful set up I've ever been in before. And that Thomas nearly effortlessly provided me with that. I brought the tripod and a couple of lights and he said everything else up for me on all I needed to do here essentially was show up and trust that I'll say something useful. This eliminates an unbelievable amount of work. I see a lot of questions. Jerry. My gosh, how do you put out all these posts and all of these videos? When we take a leap of faith, things tend to happen a lot faster. If I had to put all of this into a script, it would have taken a long time. There have been a lot of editing. I've had to think about it. I don't think I just let it come out. I just let whatever happens, come out. I gave us beach yesterday. I go to Alcoholics Anonymous every day and yesterday was my turn to do a speaker meeting. And sure, I thought a couple of times about what I might say, and almost nothing came out of my mouth that I thought about beforehand. Yes, it's nerve racking to take a leap of faith. Yesterday, I felt full of excitement and energy before I was going to give my talk to a room of 30 or 40 people, realizing I have no idea what's going to come out of my mouth right now. Which or story Am I going to reveal everyone in this room or which jokes am I going to make it my own expense? Which drunken idiots stories am I going this year, when we take a leap of faith, we also grab onto our power. We grab onto the ability to make a huge difference in people's lives. At the speaker meeting I gave yesterday, several people came up and gave me a hug. Said, Wow, that was so inspirational. I love that. Please keep talking. I feel so much better after listening to that. And to be fair, that wasn't something I did. I just put myself in a position and that let it come out. This is a lot different from demanding certainty, and it's uncomfortable with things like investing I've bought. I put all my savings. I sold all my stocks, all my bonds, every a little bit. I'd scraped together for retirement and put it all into a digital currency name. Steam. This can bring in a ton of discomfort when we do things like invest, because we want some certainty how much. Is this going to go up? We want to demand that we know the outcome on things. The truth is, we don't know the outcome. And we can't even comprehend the power off our influence to make a difference in people's lives. Their form, if we just show up and do our best and ask to be useful and asked to be of service, weaken, do things that are so far beyond are a comprehension that it's looks amazing when you see it from the outside. But from the inside, it feels so ordinary. I mean, I'm just talking right now. I talk a lot, is, you may tell, and it feels completely ordinary. And yet I've listened to some audio books that have just felt like divine gifts to me, and I know they're created the same way the authors say it. I liked listening that Wayne Dyer, in his recent live lecture he did with Eckhart totally. He said that some of the things we've written before literally came out in a different handwriting. His he writes all of his books on a yellow note pad. I think, and his editor said, What are these pages doing in this book who wrote thes thes archer handwriting. His editors seen all kinds of work that he's done and didn't even recognize the handwriting . He said. Well, I just sit down and I just right. When we step up and show up and take a leap of faith, we allow the opportunity to give on an entirely different plane of reality. Then, if we try and control everything if we try and demand, here's exactly what I'm going to say. If we write a script for every single thing we say if we edit everything, often we take out the very best parts, the humanity, a lot of us think. Well, I it's totally screwed that up. I'm going that edit that out. A lot of my favorite moments in the YouTubers I watch online or when they mess things up. Have you tour? I love No A. J. 456 He does a lot of call duty Zombies, videos, one of my favorite videos. He did a live stream, and he starts out the 1st 2.5 minutes. The mike was muted, and I just wanted to see the moment when he realized the micros meat, and I just wanted to see the look on his face the moment he noticed any sing there, he's all excited, and then here it comes, and then he turns the sound on. All my mike was muted, and that was the best part that I remember out of any of his videos. Ah, part that many of us would have just edited and cut out well that will make me look down. That's often our very best chance to influence when we leave in those little mistakes. Therefore, taking a leap of faith is a powerful way. We grab on to our maximum influence and just give our gift to the world, and this allows us to give so much more. Then if we demand that control, it's uncomfortable. It's uncertain. We don't know how things will turn out, but it's fun. It's so fun to do a video of no script and have no idea what I'm going to say, that I don't even remember what I said after the video. I hope it was useful for you 5. One True Fan: would you learn about the power of playing nicely with others? Because when we see how important it is to build relationships together, then we unlock our maximum influence. Influence is ultimately about relationships. You're not likely to influence people who don't have some kind of relationship with you. A lot of my business. I've made the mistake of trying to make first impressions just like I did in my dating life . I was so concerned about going I don't with a girl that I often didn't think very much of what to do after that, what to do After getting that phone number and getting the first date in my business, I was so concerned about getting everyone here about me once. I often didn't put a lot of effort into Okay, someone's her to me and they're looking for more. What am I going to continue giving them? A few of the marketing guys like Seth Good in? I think his name is emphasised the importance of 1000 raving fans. While we often think it's better or jury, you've got millions of fans online that's better than having 1000. The core value of influences toe have a group of about starting with one and then build up to maybe about 1000 people who absolutely love what we do, who are raving lunatic fans when you look at the biggest bands we've loved of all time who filled stadiums and you've got thousands of raving fans there that all starts with that core group in the mosh pit. Essentially, whose them craziest, most enthusiastic for the band and then the 1000 raving friends bring in their friends and family, bring in more fans. The key is to maintain a very good relationship with those people, and that means any of us has the ability to get started from just the people in our lives. Almost all of us have people in our lives that are big fans of us who love what we do. Rather, it's our partner or our mother, our brother, our Children. Each of us has at least one and probably 10 or 20 raving fans in our lives already. The mistake I've frequently made is trying to just reach the masses directly. But that's not how influence works. We need to start with usually the people who are already closest to us I asked our partner have got this idea. What do you think of it? That doesn't mean it Just allow that to completely dictate everything we do. It does mean to a start with the relationships we already have. The universe tends to give us exactly what we need in our lives. Therefore, the relationships we already have in our lives are exactly what we need if we need them to rotate out porting mawr, time and energy into the relationships we already have will assist in the rotation process . For example, I'm very grateful Thomas has been brought into my life. It's been an incredibly helpful relationship with Thomas from him, helping me get into learning about music. And now I've got 20 of my own songs I love listening to because of the help Thomas has provided May. Now we're filming this course together, and that is because idea don't know exactly the reason. To be honest, it's helped become possible because I realized I need to figure out ways to give the most to those who want the most to consistently give those who want more mawr and therefore to drop my demand that I build the masses and reach the masses to just focus on Okay, What is Thomas want me to create today? Because the bottom line is we're filming this course. Thomas and I are the only ones here actually listening to it. Will I say something that's useful for Thomas in his life today? And once we look at that, we have a very clear idea of who essentially our customer is. Business can get very mysterious when we start trying to picture these customers in our heads. But if we simply interact with the customers we have, If we simply ask the people in our lives already, what do they want out of us, then? It's not such a big mystery. Ah, lot of the things I've talked about online and a lot of the things I've done online or over exactly me. Following the instructions, I released a book which is also a video course and an audio book called Speaker Meeting 2017. Guess what? It wasn't my idea. After going to lots of different a meanings and sharing and talking, people consistently kept saying you should write a book. You should write a book. Why don't you write a book. Do you have a book? You should put these all down, write them down. And then I started doing that. However, I got distracted and stopped doing it. And one night after I shared a lady raised her hand and talked. And then she approached me after the meaning and said You should write a book And then it dawned on me. This is the universe telling me exactly what I need to do. I said, I already am. I just I'm halfway through it. I hadn't been Don't doing anything on it lately. I finished that book while thinking of her. She specifically asked me for that book. She told me she would want it as soon as I finished it. This makes it so much easier to create, because when we picture trying to get number one on The New York Times best seller list, we know that that's probably not going to happen. And the beauty is, it doesn't need to happen. What we need is to just give that one person who really wants our book, give it, make it for them. The one person who really wants to watch a video from us everyday to give them what they want. When we do that over and over again, everything else simply snowballs from there. A good example is the video course. Thomas referred me to buy Phil. I don't think I've want one of Phil's courses before, and Thomas enjoyed his course so much that Thomas told me I needed to take it. I looked at it. And based on Thomas's recommendation, for the first time, I bought a course over $100 after years of teaching online and buying courses. I bought it because I trusted Thomas's recommendation and I verified. I looked at it and I said, Yes, this will work for me, too, When we've focused on building a relationships we already have. Ah, lot of the work gets done for us that we might not see how to do If we want to make it to the New York Times best seller list, our relationships our best chance of them. I'm listening to a book called Dying Toe Live, which I am loving. The author had a specific publisher she wanted to publish with and that she went initially researched it and found no possible way she could get in because that publisher required a literary agent, which she did not have having never published a book before. Guess what happened. She shared her story online. Wayne Dyer, who has written many books with that published, already happened to see her story through a recommendation from someone contacting him. He then demanded that his publisher let her write this book. She then got an email straight from the publisher, inviting her to write the book. You see, she wanted to publish with that publisher, but if she, too, tried to hustle for it to try and get her way in and get a agent, she probably never would have got a book with them, or it might have taken a lot of time and effort. Instead, she simply shared her story with the people already in her life, and the people already in her life did all the rest of the work to make the exact right thing happen to make the perfect opportunity literally just drop into her inbox. That's the kind of influence we're going for here. The crazy thing is, it almost looked like divine manipulation or guidance. Our minds can't comprehend exactly how we'll get what we want. But often if we just focus on doing a great job for the people in our lives, things will magically appear in front of us. I just whack the life. Things will magically appear in front of us that we otherwise might have struggled and failed to get with a lot of effort. I've struggled and failed to get a lot of things that now just keep coming to me out of the blue like Well, thank you. More subscribers. Thank you. Here's a here. I've been struggling with a blogger for years. I've tried so many things to write a blawg and this my friend Robert sends me a text message and says Joins steam. You'll thank me later. I ignored it for a month and then it hit me. My gosh, this is what I've been looking for. This is a perfect blogging platform I know makes several $100 a day just posting blogged pulse on there, which I posted 500 plus on my website that don't hardly make anything still opportunity. Just when I need dropped effortlessly into my lap and now people are analyzing it and saying, Here's how jury made $36,000 tryingto look at it. But really, my existing relationships just dropped that effortlessly into my lap, and I took a leap of faith into it. That's the influence we're going for. I hope we're hearing this is empowering for you today as you start looking and continue thinking about what works to maximize your influence online. 6. Start with Skills: would you join us and learning the power of starting with what we already know? Because this makes it so easy to take the next step. If you've got no YouTube videos or no blawg posts or you've never told anyone anything helpful in your life, it can seem daunting to think How am I going to take the next step? When I started my business online, it seemed impossible to comprehend how I would ever build an audience on YouTube, how it would ever make things that would actually make a difference for people. I often got bogged down in a lot of the technical details, and then I got frustrated as I was trying to help with video game addiction. When I started my business and I said, This is stupid. Why do I need to learn how to do a website and why do I need to learn about Web hosting? Why do I need to learn about online marketing? Why do I need to learn about all these things that aren't related to what I'm trying to help with? Often it takes using a lot of different skills in order to even just do the basics of what we want if we stray from staying with what we know to begin with. One of the things that has consistently helped build a huge viewership on my YouTube channel is my focus on teaching what I know on No. A J 4561 of my favorite YouTubers, although I don't watch him much anymore because I don't play video games. I have been a huge fan of his for years and guess how I found him. I was searching for tutorial on call of duty, zombies on how to do the Easter egg, and I found his to Toro showing me how to do the Easter egg when we focus on teaching the skills we have, this is a very powerful starting point because ah, lot of us aren't looking for generic inspirational advice. A lot of us don't go Googling for morning motivation, and if we do go Googling for that, a lot of other artists have already thought of that, and then we get frustrated because our morning motivation doesn't go anywhere. The more we can zoom on on the exact skills we have and just teach the skills we have, then we get out there directly in front of people who need help. One of the first powerful tutorials and videos I ever did online was a Facebook advertising tutorial. I showed how I was able to get Facebook likes with Facebook ads for one cent. Now this totally destroyed the existing business I it at the time, which was based on doing exactly that. I would charge clients 10 cents for a like guarantee them likes through Facebook ads, which they could verify in their insights. And then I'd pay Facebook one sent to get that like and I dont a profit. I was really excited. People would pay thousands of dollars and I could spend one campaign. I even got them for way less than one cent. I spent 20 or $30 to deliver a campaign that cost the client thousands. When I showed how to do that online, I ruined my whole existing business because when perspective clients saw how I did it, they didn't want to pay me any more. Now ah, lot of us might think I can't show my secrets online. I can't show the inside of how I run my business. This tends to be the very most powerful information we have. When I showed how to do that online, the response was incredible. On YouTube, a lot of the viewers I still have today saw those very first tutorials on Facebook at they realized and maybe even you. You realized that this is a whole nother level. This is sharing something that's really valuable, totally for free. And when we share the best of the skills we already have, it's an easy starting point. Ah, lot of us suffer from the delusion that we don't know how to do anything. I've never met someone that didn't have a skill that I lacked. You might even think for extreme examples like Ah, homeless person on the street who hasn't had a job in years. They can't possibly have a skill you don't have. All of us have skills. You put me outside with that homeless person. I'm to be uncomfortable in and beginning sunburned. They know how to survive outside in an urban environment, which I have no experience with when we start to see that all of us have skills other people would like to learn. It makes it easy to just film a tutorial or to just write it down. I've discovered a lot of artists online by their tutorials. Most of us are open to meeting new people when we have a problem. This is why it's very hard to get an audience and to be influential if we just try and do generic stuff. Well, here's my morning inspirational today. Or here's my thoughts about the presidential race or whatever video that other people have already made a bunch of videos about now. Sure, occasionally those can go viral, but normally our best shot if we're even getting started or continuing to take it to the next level. At no level does it not become relevant to teach our skills. We continue to get different skills at each day in our lives. The funniest thing that happens is when we actually teach something and then forget how to do it later and go back and look at our own tutorial. This has happened to me several times, and it's ridiculous. I was playing call of duty black ops origins one day, and I forgot how to get all three staffs online at once. I realized I already made a video showing how to do that months before I went back and wash my own video and saw how to do that again. When we share the skills we have in the form of tutorials and blogger posts, we reach people who are open to being among our followers. We reach people who are open to our influence. For example, on a day were things like today. Things were going pretty well today. Unless Thomas gives me a word of mouth recommendation on someone that I should look at and watch their videos, I'm probably not going to discover anyone new online today. Now if I'm frustrated and I'm aggravated and I'm sitting there wise, my lighting sucks so bad. I'm Googling and I'm Googling and I'm discovering products. I'm discovering creators. I'm just watching YouTube videos from people showing how to do lighting. I'm paying for online courses and then just going straight, delighting part when we focus on teaching the actual technical skills we have on things, it's often not much competition, and there's often a huge opportunity to then get a passionate follower or fan online. And that's because most of us are extremely grateful when someone helps us solve a problem . My hope today is to make the process much easier than it was for me. I've listened to hundreds off audiobooks. I've went through a bunch of learning experiences. I've done the wrong thing with my business and my videos of my influence online. I've burned by influence, doing stupid things, selling things being scare me. And what I hope ensuring this skill with you today is that it's easier for you to build your influence online than it was for me. As we continue to share and learn with these tutorials, it makes up for the effective competition in life. Life is continually getting more competitive as more of us are born, and meanwhile, life continues to get more and more complex. As we are able to learn faster from others, we can keep pace with things and even get way ahead. Thomas, for example, some of his best videos are tutorials showing the music programs he knows how to dio those , then have been able to bring him lots of sales and get him a business online Now. If he hadn't made those tutorial showing his experience with producing music, then he would have had a hard time getting sales for his courses. When we show our technical skills, it gives us an easy thing to do next. All we need to do is ask this. What skill do I have that someone else would love to learn? Or another question. How can I make a do tutorial that someone will find the right when they need it? Or another question. What painful problems have I solved that others are struggling with today? When we latch onto these questions, we can make some really powerful tutorials. And as we keep doing this, it gets even easier. I discovered recently that what people really want our price predictions on YouTube, I noticed a bunch of searches. People want to know. What's the Bitcoin price? With the theory in price, what's the light coin price of all these crypto currencies? People want someone to tell them what the price will be in the future. And in discovering this, I made a video called Crypto Currency price predictions for this the next month, and I did that in that video, got a ton of use. The article got tens of thousands of views, so guess what I did it again. And when we do this, we teach our skills. We make guesses. We continually build people that are very grateful that we tried to help, even if our help sucked. Now some of us might think I've got to make the perfect tutorial. I've made some really low quality tutorials. Most all my other videos air. Not real nice like this. Most of my ah lot of my videos have crappy lighting, low quality audio. Well, thanks to Thomas, my audio is a lot better over the last six months. A lot of my videos before the audio would clip of my first videos. Like those Facebook asked. Stories were terrible. I had this $20 headset on. There was tons of background noise. The audio is horrible and people still loved it. When we just focus on helping people solve problems teaching our technical skills, then the positive feedback loop that we start from there will enable us to make everything better to film in a really nice environment like this. Instead of filming in our office cubicle with a headset on, that sounds terrible. As we keep teaching our technical skills, people will tell us what to do next. So if we start with what we already know, we do tutorials. It makes it really easy to advance from there. Thank you for giving me this opportunity. We have service with you today, and I hope this makes it easy to see what to do next. 7. Ignorance of the Big Picture: would you like to learn with us how our ignorance leads to impatience? Because when we realize we don't know the bigger picture, it provides much more patience in what we're doing today. It helps us to see the full joy in what we're doing. For example, Thomas and I were filming this course right now, and we have no idea what this is going to look like in the big picture. We could fantasize together about how many sales this is going to make. Oh, my God, that's gonna sell. And people are gonna buy it. And then and then and then And then we could do that. But that really is alive because we have no idea what our work today is going to lead to. We don't know who will be helped or who might be annoyed. Or rather, it will do anything we think it will do at all. All we're doing, we're enjoying our time here, filming this course in ah, house that Thomas rented while he's taking a trip to visit me. We think we hope you might enjoy this later, but we don't know when we warm up to the idea that we don't know what our work is going to do. We can't even comprehend all the good all the impact it can have that allows us to just get into the moment. Just have fun doing whatever it is we're doing and to not demand that we know the exact outcome. A lot of the time I made courses, I worked with this grim determination that I've got to get to the end. I gotta make this course is gonna make that money. I'm gonna pay down my debt and then I'll have financial freedom and then I can rule the world. The problem is, when we have a goal that's more important than the work itself, what happens when things don't go as planned? What happens if this course is a total flop and no one will buy it? And then do we say that this work had no value at all? What do we do if our plans don't work out? What I've seen is that lots of times I'm very grateful my plans don't work out. I've had a lot of stupid plans in my life, anywhere from not even wanting to go on anymore and plotting ways to end it. To plans to rule the world to plans to have epic revenges on people. Two plans to dominate teaching websites online and be the number one instructor. Most of what I see as the big plan doesn't end up working out how I see it. The only way I can make a difference is to enjoy the process, to enjoy making this video. Right now, that's the only guaranteed result I have. When we take joy in our work, then the work itself is worth doing. This has a huge impact in parenting. My daughters, two years old. And if I look at everything I'm doing as a means to an end, then I have to be in fear all the time. To what if something happens to or what if she never gets to grow up and have a wedding day and be a grandmother? And do all of these things in life that we expect our Children are entitled to Dio? Does all of the work I do as a parent become irrelevant if the future doesn't turn out how I think it should? No, I enjoy the time I have with my daughter every day. I love hanging out with her, and that's enough. It doesn't have to be a means to some end for her to get older, for her to go to college, for her to do a bunch of things and achieve anything. My daughter's loved unconditionally as she is right now, and that removes the fear. Because if something happens to her, which something happens to all of us at some point, then the time I've had with her was just perfect the way it is. And lots of times for me things not working out how I thought they would have been the best thing that ever happened to me when my life was in the darkest places and I couldn't picture any good result. This seemed like some alien universe I yesterday had on Liam a few minutes of minor discomfort all day. The whole rest of the day was pure pleasure and joy. What happens when we just love what we're doing and enjoy the process? We naturally connect with all of these opportunities we might never have imagined, For example, with posting on steam hundreds of dollars a day coming in, I had no idea about that six months ago I was completely blind to that. Even though all I do is work online, I was completely blind to what today is, the best opportunity I've ever seen in the history of all that I've done online lots of times. We don't know the good things that are about to happen to us right until we run into them. If we just embrace the work we're doing. If we love what we're doing, then we've got a good chance at it. Thomas and I were talking about, I think you say Martin Gehrig's is his name. He dropped out of school when he was just in elementary or middle school age to produce music. Now, at the time, that might have looked like a pretty stupid decision of most people. Come on, you've got to go to school. You've got to get your education and you've gotta then get your master's degree like Thomas has before people will take your music seriously and respect you. And then what did he do? He made music and just kept making music, and now he's got videos with a 1,000,000,000 views on one video online. He's done things that from his point of view, dropping out of school probably were hard to even comprehend. Or imagine now think if he just stuck in school and said, Forget my dreams and making music He might never have even made a song, let alone have given out songs that all of us love today and enjoy. The point is, if we enjoy what we're doing, we have a chance to do incredible things in the world of influence. Now the downside of this is sometimes this means we have to stop doing things we don't enjoy. If we go to a job every day and complain about it and don't have any joined doing the job, we might need to quit that job. I have dropped out of graduate squalls working on my PhD, and it took a big leap of faith to drop out, to give up health insurance to give up ah, 1000 or so dollars a month in return for a part time job to give up all the tuition I was getting towards my PhD. It took a big leap of faith for me to drop out of graduate school and do my business and what I've been able to give since doing that has been unbelievable. I couldn't have comprehended at the time, even in my fantasies. When I started my business, it didn't look like this does today. But I first had to stop doing the work that I did not have joy in. That I felt like was just a means to an end to get my PhD. I hope this has been useful for you today as you look around and see what work would bring me the most joy today, what could I do that would have the highest positive impact on the world? What could I give today that would really help someone else in their life? These are the questions I think about each day, and I'm grateful this is what's coming out today when these air my answer. So thanks for watching. I hope you've enjoyed it. 8. Everyone's Guessing: would you believe everyone is guessing? Because when we see that everyone else is just doing their best with limited data and no real proof, then it provides courage to take that leap of faith. What do I mean by everyone is guessing I did some crypto currency price predictions recently, where I predicted the prices of Bitcoin and Ethereum and light coin and steam for the next month. I said in September, It's August while we're filming this in September, I think these will be the prices and I was honest about it. I said, You know what? Really? I'm just guessing. The difference is I'm honest about it. When we watch a lot of the shows that we might see and we see videos online, we read things. People try and use an authoritative tone like I know exactly what the price of this stock will be next month. And here's the reason What? That's a lie Because no one knows what the future holds for you. No one knows what the price of Bitcoin will be tomorrow, for sure, Sure, some of us do have inside data. Some of us do have advantages, but every one of us really is working with a limited data in the big picture. If you consider everything that could possibly know, hardly anyone has even a sliver of a little tiny bit of everything that's possible when we watched things like tutorials online. When we try and learn new skills, it might seem at first that some people just know all these things. You might watch my viewing. By God, this guy just knows everything. How he can do videos he can write. I'm grateful that I'm aware of some of the things, right. No, a little bit. And I'm grateful. I realized that what I know is a sliver, a tiny fraction. A little part of the whole, for example, sent me down and asked me to code something, and you'll find out how little I know about coding. Thomas has watched me write songs, and Thomas has a master's degree in music, has written his own music and spend a D. J. Thomas knows a lot about music. When I started making music, you can see how little I know about making music. There's so many things to know that even if we think like a doctor is an expert in the human body. The doctor's word is like the word of God. You have cancer, you have six months to live. That's like the word of God to us. The doctors just guessing the doctor doesn't know you have six months to live. The doctors made a guess, the same as I make guesses about the prices of the currencies. Based on what I've seen before, I make a guess about what they'll be like. Later. The doctor's taking a quick look at our body, making a guess based on what they think is right. What's amazing to see is how no one really knows exactly what will happen and how wrong most of us are with most of our guess is, most of the time I think it'll rain later, and then it doesn't. I think it will be sunny later, and it does. This gives courage to say, You know what? No one knows. I'm good enough to put what I think out there. It's intimidating if we want to start writing toe, look around and see all these best selling authors Well, Tony Robbins knows about this, and that guard totally knows about that, and Wayne Dyer knows about this, and when we start realizing they don't know any more than I do, the best we can do is warm up to our unique gifts that we have to give to the world the things that we do know a little bit more about than average person. I do know a little bit more about Facebook ads and YouTube ads than the average person. I do know a little bit more about writing and a little bit more about video production than the average person, and these tools, when I put them all together, make something that might look impressive. All of us have things like this, whether it's fixing a toilet. Rather is cooking dinner. Rather, it's entertaining people at our home. Rather, it's painting. Or rather, it's just being there toe listen and say something that helps someone one on one. All of us have incredible gifts, and when we see that, everyone's just guessing in doing their best, that experts on TV, the professionals who are predicting they don't know any better than we do. In fact, I bet all of us concise it many examples where we said something would happen and that goes directly against maybe our doctor are, Doctor said. We have six months to live in. We said No, I have 10 years toe living here. We are still living. Almost all of us consigned a ton of examples of where we guessed better than someone who was in a better position to guess than us. The truth is, we know the most about our own life situation. When someone comes in from the outside and expert and tries to appraise our life situation , it can be difficult, but at the same time other people can be our best sources of information. Other people's guesses can be more accurate than our own. If we have the courage to share our innermost Selves are gifts with the world, then we have the ability to feel like we're participating. I realized my videos are no better and no worse. When you consider everything than anyone else's that motivates me to try. If when I first made videos, I thought that other people's videos were so much better, I could never work my way up to that level, and that's de motivational. Why even bother? I made music and I can see someone like Thomas know so much about music that unless I studied for years and made music for years and he stopped making music, then I might at some point become essentially unequal and knowledge. And instead of that de motivating me, I said, Well, I'm or at least going to try because what Thomas did, he tried. He at some point knew almost nothing about music and started learning and trying and playing. If we don't make those first steps, then we don't get to go any farther like my daughter. At one point, she couldn't even sit up. Now imagine if she looked at me walking around and said, Well, I'm never going to be able to walk like that. I can't even sit up. I'm just gonna lay here and not even bother at a year old. Forget it. I'm not going to try and sit up because I will never build a walk like dad can. But guess what? My daughter can walk at two years old, she can run, she can jump. And she only do that because she had the courage to try and sit up. Even when Dad, mom and everyone around her could walk. She had the courage to try and sit up, and she took great joy in being able to sit up the smile. When she give first lift her head up and could sit up, she had enough strength to pull her back off the floor and polar head up. She's so happy about it. The first time I made a song, and even though you could say musically, it sounded awful. I made a song. I created a whole song by myself while not by myself. But I made a song that's amazing if we enjoy the baby steps we take. If we realize everyone else is just guessing and doing their best, then we've got courage today to say I have something to give to and I'm going to do my best to give it and I'm going to shed any of the expectations, any of the limiting beliefs that say I shouldn't be able to. I'm going to take away and give up the beliefs of everyone saying I can't sit up and walk someday either. I heard a story recently of a man he got in a car accident when he was young, the doctors told him he would never walk again. He's walking today, 30 plus years later, he has a cane and he is able to walk and go everywhere. He needs to go. Even when the doctor said he'd never walk, because when he believed that he could walk, he started trying. For years, he made no effort to walk until one day someone told him, Just try, just try and walk. Who cares what you think? You can dio just try and walk and see what happens? And now he's it been walking for 30 plus years because he just tried, even when it seemed like it wouldn't work out. I'm grateful I have the courage to just try today, and I hope this is useful for you to just take that next step brother. It's trying to walk or trying to sit up or trying to make videos, trying to write tryingto listen to someone else. Whatever it ISS 9. Benefits and Limitations: How does every situation we're in have limits and benefits? When we see that every situation has a balance of limits and benefits, then it's easier to be happy with where we are today. Instead of believing that if we were in a bigger house or if we had more subscribers or if we had more money that somehow that would be better. The truth is it's different. I am grateful today that over the several years of my business, I've had a lot of different situations, which has allowed me to see that everything is just has its ups and downs. For example, when I started my business, I believed it would be much better to have a business with more followers, more money and more influence. And today I see that having a brand new business has its own set of benefits that now are gone in ah, business where I do have lots of followers, I have enough money and I have influence. Today, I also have lost the benefits. When you start out, we can do almost anything. We want to one. We begin our business. There's almost complete freedom to a test to mess around to play. The more followers we get, the more money we make is that MAWR influence we have. We continue to face greater and greater limitation when we don't have any subscribers. When no one seeing what we create, there's very little pressure. So what if I screwed up the video and showed completely the wrong thing in that tutorial? So what if I made a video that was just really low quality cussing people out? Hardly anyone washed it anyway. Doesn't matter. A lot of my early YouTube videos were horrible, and almost no one saw them, so it didn't matter. And the people who did see them it didn't make much of an impact either. There was room to make mistakes. When we've got a lot of followers online over making money and when were influential, we make bigger and more painful mistakes. We get nastier and nastier things said about us now. Personally, I find this has been very helpful for development. You might not believe all the nasty comments that have come through my YouTube channel. People went at me from almost every angle you could imagine from my appearance to how I conduct myself to my values. I remember someone posted a review on you to me, saying they didn't think I believed in God and I wasn't really sober. Almost every angle you could imagine an attack and a criticism if we start out and we're fantasizing about how good it would be to be influential. What we often don't see are the limitations in that new position. Ah, lot of us look around. We see our current limitations. We fantasize and say that in a different position, those limitations will be gone and we'd have new benefits. Therefore, we see the negative in our present circumstance, and we see the positive in a different one in the future. What we often ignore are the benefits that we have today, and we ignore the limitations that we would have in a new position. I am grateful that many people following me want to learn how to be influential online. One of the things I try and communicate is think about the disadvantages. Do you really want to be influential or is there something else you're seeking? Are you seeking happiness out of having a different situation if we don't have happiness in our current situation. Any new situation won't make us happy either. I feel really ridiculous some days when I'm in a bad mood and hundreds of people have given me positive feedback online, and it just doesn't seem to work here. I love your videos. Jury of the best jury I love the Oh my God, and I still feel like an ordinary person who is not good enough. Sometimes it feels really absurd for so much love and support pouring in and then for me, just somehow are not receiving it. Like I feel incredibly bad, like, Wow, is there something wrong with me? And then I start asking questions. What do I need to learn from this? When we look at celebrities, lots of times, we think it would be so good to be a celebrity. I could get these deals, make this money. But how about when the celebrity tries to go the grocery store and there's paparazzi in their face? Or they're trying to have ah, fight with their partner and it's all over the news everywhere. A lot of the things we think would be great are simply a lack of recognition of all the downsides in that situation, even things like winning the lottery. We might think, Oh, God would be so good to win the lottery. I have so much money, I never worry about anything. According to the data, most people win the lottery, lose all of that money within a very short period of time and then have essentially the standards of living and money completely ruined when were broken. We've never had any money. We've got kind of a relative value system. If at some point we get a lot of money and then go back toe having none, it seems even more hopeless. Then, before I had by business some months making 80 $90,000 and then going back down to making a few $1000 was a big drop off the rollercoaster, and it was unpleasant as my expenses were in the tens of thousands and my income was in the thousands. It was humiliating. Wow, how did I build this thing that collapsed so fast? When we see each situation has ups and downs, then we are able to work more effectively with the benefits we currently have and to respect that, every situation won't be better in terms of giving us what we want. One of the things I wanted the most for my life was toe have a wife and a family. I remember as early as first grade, about six years old, just laying in bed, wondering what my wife was doing, wishing that I could meet her. I spent a ton of time being single, frustrated and miserable, thinking if I just had a girlfriend, I'd be so much better off. I missed out on a lot of the joy of being single, the exploration of just getting to meet people. I missed out on the town of the jury being single because I was so focused on having a wife . And now I have a wife today, which I'm thankful I'm not making the same mistake again. I'm not looking around and thinking how much better it be to be single today. I'm grateful that I have wife, and at the same time I realized if something happens to her that there's life goes on, there's benefits toe every situation. Having a wife and daughter is extremely limiting. I'm not free to just go travel the world. I'm not free to do a lot of things today because I'm expected at home. My wife wants me at home. My daughter wants me at home, and that is extremely limiting. When my mom got sick and fell off her horse, I wanted to just go crusade and say, Mom, here, I love you. I'm here to help and support you through all this. But that didn't make sense with a newborn child at home, and it was difficult to sit at home and accept that limitation. You don't get to just go run off and crusade without leaving behind your existing responsibilities. The same thing with my business today I coveted. I wanted the ah business with influence, with money with followers. And today that business is a big responsibility. I feel compelled it to give something every day. When if I had no followers online, if I made no money online, if no one cared what I had to say online, I might spend all day at home doing gardening, hanging out with my daughter and not doing anything online at all. And I believe I would be Justus happy. If, say, I got completely deleted online, I'd be just as happy staying at home, spending the day with my daughter and my family. When we see the every situation as ups and downs, we have peace. In our current situation. We accept where we're at and then we have power. If we want to go somewhere else to simply take one step at a time to get there. When we see that it's fun to have one or two followers willing interact with and have a meaningful relationship with, then we naturally start building more followers. Life tends to just start heaping Mawr and Mawr on us, and it becomes a bigger and bigger challenge. I'm very grateful today to have this message to share with you, and I suppose I'd be very grateful as well if I didn't. So thanks for listening, and I hope you liked it. 10. We Rather than I: How do we feel when we are part of a community versus Look who's all alone now? And we're all lonely and everything I find when I speak in terms of I, it tends to be a little harder to relate when we speak. In terms of we, it tends to be much more inclusive. That's one of the things I've went to Alcoholics Anonymous and I was sick and miserable and stuck, and I and myself in my, me, me, me, me, me and I noticed. I don't know if it was consciously or not. The language said We everywhere we're powerless over alcohol. We find this we we we've when we speak in terms of we, it allows us to get past a lot of the defensiveness that comes up. If we stick to speaking and I and you, let's try a quick example. When we're out having fun, we enjoy what we're doing, and we tend to feel like life is good. When we are sitting by ourselves at home and not giving anything to the world, we tend to feel a little depressed and lonely and useless. That was speaking in terms of were now what to do that in terms of I and you, When you are out having fun, you tend to be happy and joyous and free. But when you're at home, you're just sitting there depressed and miserable and lonely. A lot of us react defensively when we start hearing you because most of our lives people have been telling us You need to do this. You should go to college. You should go find a boyfriend. You should go get married and have a family. You should study harder. You, you, you and a lot of us. Even when we hear the word, you start getting defensive. I had a hard enough time coming into a and reading through the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous and reading all the stories even when it did say we it said, When we get drunk, we do things that we might not have done otherwise. When we take even one drink, we often end up getting drunk and not realizing how it happened. These air paraphrases not necessarily exact phrases. Now imagine if the book had sat there and said you when you get drunk, you do stupid things. My rational been like no I don't. When you take one drink, you have to have a bunch more. No, I don't know. I don't. A lot of people in my life said You need to stop drinking. I said, No, I don't. When I was introduced to we language, we discovered the power of alcohol over us. We realize we were powerless over alcohol. Then I started saying Yes, yes, we are powerless over alcohol our way. It's easier when we talking we to include everyone and to speak from a point of view of unity. If we have a hard time connecting with the universe, a higher power, God love nirvana, whatever you want to call it, whatever we want to call it, the feeling is very much a feeling of we often in trying to figure out what's the most helpful thing this body could do each day. Ah, thought process that can help us is What do we need this body to do today? We is in all humanity. We is in the universe. We is in God. We as in love. What do we need to come out of this mouth right now? What do we have to give today? What do we want to do today? This collective mindset is a very peaceful place to exist. That often gives us, ah, perspective that's not so painful to be stuck in alone. Try asking that question the other way. When we start asking, What do I want to do today? We often get miserable answers. I avoid asking, What do I want to do today? Because my mind is programmed that regardless of all the consequences, one of the preset answers for what do I want to do today is get drunk party, have fun, even though that's a complete lie. And I fell for it so many times and had so many bad things happen in my life. When I ask, Why do I want to do today? That's one of the answers that invariably will come up if I ask that enough times. A lot of us have bad habits that come from asking. I based questions. I consistently see from this point of view that the people in my life that ask, what do I want to do? Where do I want to live? What do I want to experience consistently suffer the most because asking things from the eye point of view tends to be lonely. We start feeling like our stories unique. The more stories we hear, the less they start to sound unique. The more they almost start to sound like movie scripts, you could almost fill in the next detail. Oh, so you did this This and that Will did. How about this? This and that afterwards, You know, how do you know? I've heard that one plenty of times. This is tricky and four me and my own creativity. I often jump in and out of the we point of view in a little bit of an uncomfortable way, which may even mix things up on a whole nother fund level because sure, and some of the things that makes sense to speak we. But when it comes to an exact description of what I do throughout the day, sometimes it makes sense to say I because if I say I'm going to the bathroom right now, we are not going to the bathroom. I am going to the bathroom. It's can be a little complicated and language. The point is, whenever we have the opportunity to share from a collective point of view of the language tends to be much more powerful, and our thinking tends to correspond with the action we use when we use a lot of I based thinking and you based thinking, we tend to suffer from the basic disease of separation that I don't understand you. You don't understand me, and we're trying desperately to maybe meet in the middle and agree on some politician to vote on or some cause to believe in when we remember our collective nature, when we read things like a lot of the near death experiences and a lot of the spiritual experiences, the thing that comes out of those consistently is a we mindset. If you like Star Trek kind of like a board that we each individual worker drone is part of a collective. And how may we serve the collective and then becomes much easier using we toe have a greater influence. Most of us respond to being included much better than we do being singled out today. How are we seeing the results of this in our lives? Where are we noticing already? Where we and our language is being used to include us? Where are we seeing the opposite when someone says I or you and we start feeling separate when we see the power of this in our lives first hand, then it starts to become a motivating to start using it. Here's an activity that might be fun for all of us. Not just you. You go do this. You you do it. I'm going to sit here in my high tower and do nothing. You go do it. Here's an activity that might be fun for all of us. See how we respond the next time someone says you and especially if it has a negative connotation? The waitress at lunch, for example, might not trigger this, But the next time someone says you did this you you you see how that feels And imagine the difference. If it would have been said with a we instead of or you screw this up. We make mistakes sometimes but doesn't feel so bad, does it? I'm excited to give this a try today, and I appreciate you watching here. Maybe we appreciate me watching here. Whatever. I hope this was fun. I enjoyed making this, So maybe we enjoyed experiencing it together. 11. Become Transparent: when we become transparent, were prepared to maximize our influence because we will allow attacks, criticism, negativity to pass directly through us. What we think seems ideal is to instead armor up to build a thick skin where when we step out in the public eye, were prepared like Superman let bullets bounce off of us is our critics hail insults at us and say, How dare you do this? Do you remember when you did that? I think you're worthless and I think you're awful. You're the devil. The problem is, if we beheld the A fortress around ourselves, when we armor up against all of our critics, we lock ourselves in a prison doing that as well. What were not free to just move about among the people? We are tempted to build a thick skin to begin with, but the problem is, if we really want to maximize her influence at some point, the amount of attacks will be so great. It's hard, even comprehend. I personally today got one of these exact things on steam in my comments, extremely critical post, pointing out one insult after another. One way of taking me down after another and if I armor up instead, if I sit there and fight it, actually, Onley fuels more and more of that. If I allow the comment to just pass through me, then there's not much damage from it coming in. And in fact, all the damage assists with may becoming more transparent. And, yes, it hurts to make the transition into being transparent from a position where we've got this idea off. This is who I am. This is what I stand for. If we want to be influential, we will have so many things we stand for and who we are attacked that we have to either armor up or we have to become more transparent. It's just too painful to stand there and let every single thing insult us and drive us around. What a lot of the critics hope is that we essentially lose our way, that we get into these huge battles and fights with them because then that assists them more than in assists us. There are whole industries built on this today about being critical and trying to point out how everyone else is so stupid and how everyone else is wrong and therefore we are right. This is the inside of the victim mentality. And if we want to be influential, we don't get to be victims. We are making a choice to be here to give to serve. And that means we're giving up the victim role, including that were victimized by criticism. And it hurts sometimes to go through the process of giving up things. It hurts to realize that the critics might be right. Maybe I am just some greedy entrepreneur online who wants to rule the world, and I want to take over everything. Maybe the critics are right. Maybe they're not. You see, the peace that comes from transparency is everyone has a valid viewpoint. The person who comments and says, Jerry, you're a God. You're a saint has just developed of a point as the person that comes along and says, Jerry, you're the devil. All you want to do is take everything from us and leave the rest of us nothing. You're horrible. And look how horrible you are for all these things you've done. What do you have to say about that? And in response, what can I possibly say to that when we seek to defend ourselves. We actually reinforce the criticism when we try and say, Well, no, I didn't do that. Here's this amount of evidence. I didn't do that. We actually confirm to many people watching that well, he's that defensive. He must have done that then if he's willing to work this hard. I like the story of the Zen master in a town. Let's picture a town together in ancient Japan, where there's a Zen master off the town that the people go to. They say he's wise. They ask for his feedback in his opinions. And one day the Zen master is accused off getting a 17 year old girl pregnant in the village. The parents come to him and they say, How did you do this to our daughter? And the parents scandalized the whole town by saying the Zen master, he did this to our daughter. The parents bring the daughter to the Zen master and say here you did this. We're not having any part of it. You raise this little girl, the Zen master says. Is that so? The Zen master does not fight or try and stand up improve, always right, And he didn't do it. He simply accept the little girl and raises a little girl for a year, at which point the parents come back. They say. We just discovered that our daughter actually had a boyfriend and the boyfriend got her pregnant. And therefore this child is really our daughters and her boyfriend, and they want to raise the child. Now, after a year of the Zen master being shunned by the rest of the town and being thought of as this awful person who would take advantage of his position and get this teenage girl pregnant, they all the sun. Then take back the daughter. The Zen master offers no resistance. He just says, Is that so? And a Zen master is restored at the head of the town as being Ah, citizen who is worthy of seeking advice was worthy of listening to, and the Zen master then suffers no transgressions. The Zen master doesn't become miserable. Rather, he is in power, so to speak, where he's a big deal in the town and people care what he has to say. Or rather, he's demonized, and no one cares what he has to say. And he's this talk of the town in terms of scandalous gossip. How can we live our lives like the Zen master today, where we accept what people say about us and let it pass through us? I'm not saying that the idea is when someone says your worthless, no good and horrible that we accept. This is our new story and we go around nodding our heads and say, Yes, I am, in fact, worthless and horrible. How did they know? We have simply let that pass through us that that is a fact in the person's life who shared it. But it's not a fact in our life that we need to fight with their disagree with. I'm shocked at all the ways I've become transparent today as I've got attacked. This is one way of looking at it. I've got attacked from almost every single angle, almost anything. You could point out my appearance, the way I talk, the things I talk, about, how I talk about them, everything you could imagine and even things completely unrelated. And yet those things pass through me today I see them. I experienced them and they go through me. This allows me to not get bogged down fighting. It allows me to not be imprisoned in a fortress. It allows me to go anywhere and do anything and accept each other's reality. If someone thinks I'm the devil, that's good. So I'll be the devil for you. If I'm God, If I'm an angel for you, that's good. I'll be an angel for you in transparency were kind of formless. There's not one truth about us that excludes all other truths. I hope this is useful for all of us today because I'm grateful I learned these lessons because they've given me the ability to hang in there. The more we want our influence to grow, the more and more challenges to our influence come. And when we don't fight them, we actually continue to build our influence. We continue to have the chance to give our gift to the world, and we refuse to be dragged down into the realm of fear and misery and suffering. 12. More Money More Problems: when we have more money. The surprising thing is that we also tend to have more responsibility and justus many problems as we had having less money, what is the opposite of not having enough money? I used to think the opposite of not having enough money was having an abundance having tons of money. Winning the lottery to me was the opposite of not having enough money. What I've learned is that having abundance and having not enough money tend to be directly related. Me, while the opposite of not having enough money is having enough money. That means enough to pay our bills and to get the things we need on a daily basis. I've never had a day in my life where I did not have enough money. Meanwhile, I felt like I was broke. Ah, lot of times in my life and even on many of the days where I had way more money than I needed, I felt like the abundance could be bigger. It could be more. What I've discovered is having more money doesn't fix the initial issue of not having enough money. What we do is quickly adapt to any additional amount of wealth we have. And there in lies, the key problem. If we're hoping that our influence will fix our money problem, it won't. We have to look at our feelings and beliefs about money and work on those independently of everything else. I went through an amazing, transformational experience with the help of Tony Robbins in his book Money Master. The Game in December 2000 and 16 after having my business online, then for about five years, I recently had been through in June 2016 a band from you to me, where I lost all of 95% of my income. That was very painful because I thought I had my money problem fixed for the rest of my life. I had months. Rye made 80 or $90,000 in profit millions of dollars in sales over the period of a couple of years, and I felt like I had been taken down. Ah, lot of pegs by losing all that income it once. While it before that I had believed I had a very prosperous financial future ahead of me. As soon as that, you know me band came in. I assumed another belief that to 2000 and 17 would be a year of scarcity where my business would dwindle and where I would struggle financially. That belief played out in reality over the following months, as I literally was preparing for a big financial storm in my life. The decisions I was making were based on a belief that I would have less money in the future. This is emblematic of having negative beliefs about money, things like money being the root of all evil and believing that money just by itself is validation for influence and for everything else we do. These beliefs block us from experiencing the joy of having enough money on a daily basis, enough to just simply have food to eat, have a place to live and to feel like we can have the things that we need whenever something comes up. When I listen to money, Master The Game with Tony Robbins identified this negative belief five months after forming it. When I identified this negative belief, I then consciously chose another one. I said that I shall have an even better year in 2000 and 17 than I had in 2016 because I'm going to give more in 2000 and 17 than I gave in 2016. Ultimately, money is consistently given to us in proportion to how much good we do for others. If we help other people make money, we will get it back, even if it is indirectly. If we help people solve problems, we will get money. Even if it's indirect. For example, we might help someone solve a problem. Who will then tell a friend about? Ah book we have and then maybe the friend will buy our book. I s sought then to do 10 times as much with my business in 2017 as I'd done in 2016 with therefore reasonable expectation that I would earn even more money than I had in my best year of my business in 2016. As soon as I became conscious of this limiting belief about money, I then found an incredible investment opportunity. I simply listened to the opportunity that was in front of me and took a huge leap of faith with it. I bought a dash master node, which is a crypto currency. I spent $11,000 to invest in a crypto currency out of about $20,000 I had in cash with about $7000 in bills every month and looking at, I might end up putting myself out of business if my investment went wrong. It was a big leap of faith, and at the time there was only a little bit of data and a little bit of intuition supporting it. The Dash master node Today's were $350,000 it's on Lee eight months later. Now I sold it at $87,000 still, having made 70 something $1000 in profit, if you would look at that and say, Well, that's purely good You've fixed all your money problems. That's great. What I noticed is that the more the dash master node went up in value, the more uncomfortable it waas, the more I became afraid of losing it. $11,000 was when I made the investment a significant amount of money and had I lost all of it, it would have been devastating. $20,000. Even after it went up, I didn't want it to go back down. All of a sudden it's not 11,000 is 20,000 now. Imagine barely being able to pay your bills and you've got 20,000 and something. The fear of losing it continue to go up and up and up. When it was worth $100,000 it was extremely uncomfortable considering that if it got hacked or if somehow the price plummeted down, it was terrifying to comprehend losing $100,000 because it even though it only costs 11,000 once it got up to that much in value, that's now what it's worth. I ended up selling because of that pressure at $87,000 because I couldn't stand the thought of it going down anymore more than I had hoped that it would even go up. Now, today it's worth 200 plus 1000 more dollars and I sold it for and I've made another investment With that investment. In steam comes a lot of responsibility. It comes, ah, lot of criticism. Often, whenever I vote something up, people don't agree with whether it's my own posts or someone else. Rather, it's things I say because I'm that invested in that community. If we think that money is just going to give us everything we want. We're deluding ourselves. If you look at lottery winners, that is one of the worst things that can happen to us. Winning the lottery is one of the best ways to destroy someone's life. As the money quickly gets spent, all the standards of lower spending before suddenly become blown off the water by the new lottery winnings. Families and friends relationships get ruined by suddenly having this ridiculous amount of wealth and all of the things that go along with that. If we think that being influential will help us fix our money problems, then we've got an opportunity to look at that belief and say, What are my beliefs about money? If we can get beliefs, that money is both good and bad. There are very evil parts to money, and there are very good things about money as well. If we can come to a neutral point of view about it, with beliefs that we've consciously chosen, for example, if I do a good job, if I help people learn enough money, then we don't have to worry about exactly how much rather iron 10 or 100 or $1000 because if I keep helping you, I know I'll earn enough when we do that were freed up to maximize our influence. If money is the root of all evil to us, and at the same time we wanna have a bunch of it were very vulnerable to our people, with money having a huge influence on us. You can see this in recent battles that companies have had with advertisers where advertisers air, then having control over what the creators on their website say when we worship money, then we're very easily allowing our influence to be given away. We're very easily allowing ourselves to be censored and willing to shut up about our truth in exchange for a few dollars. Were willing to give our time away without thinking about what's the best time to use it with money and influence and power. All of these things go together, and it helps a lot to have a viewpoint about money that's productive, I hope, sharing some of my experience where I feel like I've made about every mistake you can make with influence and money and power, and I hope that this is useful for you to learn from my experience, to have the courage to look inside at your own views about money and see whether they're helping or hurting or rather their neutral and not a big deal. Thanks for watching. And I hope you've enjoyed this. 13. The Power of Story: How do we add the power of stories into our ability to communicate and therefore influence ? When we tell a story, we tend to get a much greater response than if we just lay down hard science and facts. Most of us know all the facts we need to in our lives, or at least that were interested in to have our lives the way they are today. Why is there often a big disconnect, then, between the fax we know versus what we do? Why do we know what fruits and vegetables do for us in terms of fax? But then, when we go to sit down and eat, we find we're not putting any of them on our plate stories help us bridge the disconnection and convert the fax. We get into action. For example, I knew vet alcohol was causing me a lot of problems in my life for many years. People consistently said, You shouldn't drink. You should stop drinking. Why don't you just have a couple? My drinking consistently received a lot of negative feedback, and yet it didn't really sink in to me until I started hearing so many other stories off How other people completely ruined their lives. Drinking as I heard about one husband after another losing their wife, it started to sink in that if I kept drinking the way I was, I was going to lose my wife. I kept hearing story after story of people drinking themselves to death, and it sunk in. If I keep drinking, I'm going to drink myself to death. The stories I heard motivated me inspired me to convert all these essentially fax opinions and suggestions. Others have given me into action into willingness to do whatever it took to live a different way. Same thing with diet. I tried all kinds of diets to eat better. I tried all kinds of ways to maintain a healthy weight. I tried personal training. I went to the gym on my own to do cardio. Almost every day I read books I researched. I hired a weight loss coach at one point who got me on a diet program, and I consistently got the same result. Fatter and fatter, obese. I remember going to the gym and picking up the whatever gadget they have that you can just hold on to it, and it tells you how your size is relative to the rest of human beings, especially how much body fat you have. I remember seeing the numbers on there and thinking, Well, this Ah, it's just not giving me the right calculation. I have an athletic build. I'm muscular. It's just not getting it right. I was lying to myself. I kept telling myself a story about, Well, I'm not really that fat. What finally converted me was hearing stories from how not to die. The book outlined a story after story after story related to diet and health, and it combined it with statistics. If it just had done the statistics alone, I wouldn't have paid any attention to it. The thing we relate to in stories is the difference between other people's lives and our own. When I heard the stories of other alcoholics and what they experienced, I was able to relate those stories into my own life, whereas a lot of us can't relate statistics or just fingers pointing at us and telling us what to do in our own lives. But stories allow us to bond to come together. When I started reading more stories of other struggling with maintaining a healthy weight. When I heard more stories off seeing how easy it Waas to start eating differently, then it became easier in my own life. If we look at some of the books that are most influential, like the Bible, Jesus communicates often in parables because parables we can relate to. Whereas if Jesus just sits there and tries to point things out directly, a lot of us won't receive any kind of message from that. Stay in the now be nice to people. What do you mean? If we tell a story about it and show how Mary's much happier than her sister, then we understand that way. I hope in some of the stories I've used here, I've effectively communicated the point because when we combine a little direction with our stories, we can help share exactly the influential point We want to demonstrate. Sometimes just telling a story by itself can be a little obscure. But if we match the story we're telling with a certain theme, then it's often very easy to process. That's why I try and include stories in everything. Even if they don't come out just perfect. What stops a lot of us from telling stories is the fear that our story will sound in perfect. If you've heard some of the stories I just told you might say that he didn't tell that perfect I didn't even understand the story was talking about. It was kind of vague. It wasn't just right. If we have the courage to just tell our story, even if it's a little sloppy and in perfect, then many of us will automatically fill in the blanks with what we can relate to. I've read thousands of stories about and heard thousands of stories about alcoholism, and those stories help me today to be free off, continuing to do the same thing over and over again. And these stories air critical for our own influence. Ultimately, if we want to maximize our influence, it comes from owning our own story rather than hiding Inter, denying it acting like I've never had a drinking problem or have never struggled with my weight, that I've always just been in a great shape. I've always just been able to have a balanced life. If I just show up like that, there's nothing we can relate to. Thank you for watching, and I hope you've enjoyed this 14. It's Okay to Be Unhappy for a Moment: it's okay to be unhappy. Sometimes this statement will come to a lot of us as a shock in a culture where we feel tremendous pressure to show up and be good all the time. We go to the grocery store, we buy our fruits and veggies or whatever we throw on the belt, and the cashier says, How are you today? Imagine responding with crappy, horrible on the edge of suicide, and the whole storm might break down and go crazy. We're expected all the time when people ask us how we're doing to put on this mask that everything's fine. Sometimes life is filled on Lee with anguish and despair. Children often are the most honest at living this way. My daughter, two years old, just breaks down sometimes. She had her birthday party today, and she broke down and sobbed and cried and screamed two or three times. Meanwhile, she enjoyed the majority of her party when she got overwhelmed and couldn't take it. She wasn't on edge and nervously replying to people, How are you? I'm good. No, she hated it and she let the feelings out, and then she moved on. If we want to maximize your influence. It's essential we be able to warm up to seeing our own darkness because the alternative is being a fake. It's trying to people, please, it's acting. It's dancing and being afraid. People will discover who we are. The alternative is miserable if we want to maximize their influence. One of the most powerful ways we can do that is to be honest. And the honesty involves getting to know our own darkness, and that allows us to process what the world gives us. And sometimes the world is so full of despair. We just can do nothing but cry about it. I was watching Cal Spirit see, and there's a part where the government decides to kill a bunch of these elephants because of some potential economic damage they were doing. And they managed to include footage and Qala spirit See of these elephants being shot, baby elephants, mother and the whole families of elephants being murdered because of one person's idea of how we could fix some economic problem which turned out to be completely wrong. And I felt the despair, I felt miserable. I felt like the whole human race was so disgusting. We didn't even deserve to survive on this planet, that the best thing that could happen to us would be for all of us to just be wiped out. I even felt like a trader to the planet for trying to help all of these human beings. At the worst moments, I often feel as if I'm in some filthy virus and that all the things I'm trying to do that are good for humanity are the same as you might think of a cancer cell in the body trying to promote the growth of all that cancer, which then kills the host. I'm in touch with my darkness today. Sometimes life discussed me. Sometimes life is so horrible, I can barely comprehend it. And it brings me to tears. I may cry about it on the couch or in bed or in the shower or in the middle of publics or in the back seat of my car or at Disney. I just feel my darkness when it comes. I feel the fear and the terror and the horrible parts of this life. Sometimes when it comes, the benefit is, then I'm free. Outside of those relatively small number of moments to be authentic. I'm free to share my truth. I'm free just like my daughter, to live the fullness of life. I believe Jesus said something like, I want you to have life in its fullest. Those of us who get out of touch with our darkness often spend almost all of our lives trying to point it out in others trying to criticize others, take down others. And even if those kinds of things work to build influence in the short term, if we end up going through some healing and being free off all of that toxic energy, then we lose all our influence as well. If we embrace the fact that all of us have all of the darkness in the world within us, then there's this great place of peace where we can simply go out in life, enjoy it and then inspire others simply by existing. We don't even have to talk. When I walk into a room full of people, I feel often the whole mood of the room lifts up. I look around, people smile at me and are happy to see me as I'm happy to see them. That's the beauty of big in touch with our own darkness. It takes a big leap of faith. Sometimes when my in laws were having a baby shower to celebrate the birth of their child, I showed up one day and I was not in a good mood. And they asked me How are you doing today? And my response was shitty. Here I am at their baby shower, and that's exactly what I said. Shitty. Hi. I'm here here for your baby shower, and I'm doing shitty. And naturally, some people don't react very well to that. Some people just whoa, not interested in handling that. Especially if we're not in touch with our darkness. The darkness of others scares us. We don't want to be close to them. The nice thing is, when we bring out our darkness, we bring it into the light to look at it and be healed. And with so many of us struggling with the same problems, this is a huge opportunity to build our influence. As we bring our own problems out in the light, we give others courage to do the same. Some of the authors have inspired me. The most were the ones most willing to reveal their own darkness to bring their shame out in the light and say, You know what? Here's what makes me absolutely feel like a small toad. As I continued to tell anyone who would listen how bad of a mood I was in at the technically, it was a gender reveal. I said, Baby shower. But hey, we're all celebrating the birth of a baby. So it's about same difference anyway, as I continued to tell my friends and family and even people I didn't know how bad I was feeling. Guess what? Suddenly, within just a few minutes, the feeling left and I was able to fully embrace the joy of being at the gender reveal. By the end of the party, I had had a wonderful time and was very grateful for the experience. Now I've went through that same kind of situation a lot of other times in my life, and all I did was fake my way through it, and then I would stay miserable, often for days, weeks, months over the same thing. My mother told my father one day to stand up straight at a change of command. She had and he held that against her and made fun of her over her weight. And she and Trump getting fat. And he was ruthlessly critical of it for years until one day he brought out the truth. The truth was, she'd really hurt his feelings by saying that now, if he'd have been able to just say that as soon as it had happened or maybe if he broke down and cried about it, then there wouldn't have been years off strife of pain over the one original sin, so to speak. This is one of our biggest opportunities to grow our influence, because when we get stuck in pain and frustration and resentment, especially for days or weeks or months, we often start watching our influence fade away. A lot of times, building our influence is more of a function of how often we don't get in our own way, then how often we actually do anything else. If we get stuck in some negative state, we often just dwindle all the things we've worked down into nothing. And after start over, I did that. My life so many times, with the first few years of my business, any time something good came along. I quickly got into a negative, frustrated, angry, resentful state, and I wouldn't face it, and I just beat down all the rewards I received. I'd waste them and spending money on stupid things. I'd make everyone mad. I'd aggravate all the clients that I had gotten, as some problem in my personal life would then bleed over into everything else. I'm very grateful today that so many others have showed me how to do this process, that I have to share it with you if you like. Further reading on this burn a brown, especially her power of vulnerability. Talk on Audible. She has helped me a ton with this. She's had the courage to share. Her story is a mom in line telling her something that just brought her to tears right away . A casual comment triggering horrible emotions immediately Felton processed than free instead of fighting. That's the goal. If we want to maximize our influence is to be free instead of fighting, and a big part of our freedom is to be free to feel all of our feelings, even if our feelings are shitty or miserable or depressed or full of despair. I've done a lot of time in depression in my life and what I do today. When the Depression comes on, I lay down on the couch. Let's look at this. What am I so depressed about? And what do I need to learn from this? Now you might think this sounds like a free pass to just walk around and let's be miserable all day and we don't need to do anything about it. It's actually the opposite when we have a pain to instead of numbing the pain or running from the pain or denying the pain to look very carefully at it. To say What is this? Often get cramps that are kind of in my butt area that are quite painful. Now most of my life, I would have just taken Advil for this and tried toe even Go the doctor. Now all I do when it comes on. I just laid down on the couch and I feel it. What do you need to know? You want me to pay attention to you find I'm gonna do nothing except pay attention of this pain right now, and it almost always goes away immediately no pills, no drugs, no side effects and no going around all day on the edge of losing it. I hope this is useful for you today, and I hope I have successfully pass the message along that's been passed to me so many times in the last several years of my life. 15. Processing Incoming Requests: when we want to become influential. We also our asking for people to want things from us. This is one of those surprising downsides that our fantasies about having millions of followers making a bunch of money generally don't include. Most of us hate it when people want things from us. Most of us try and set our lives up to avoid anyone wanting things from us when we get bills in the mail. That's an example of a company or government wanting things from us. Most of us don't like when people want things from us, which makes being an influence or a very bad idea. If we don't want more of that. A lot of the things I used to be able to handle, like a normal person, such as email and phone calls, I now have systems set up to essentially block the majority of people who want to contact me that way. Why? Because if I just make my email address open, I get constant requests from people wanting things from me. Jerry, while you read this post jury, will you schedule call for me? Jerry, will you? Jerry, will you? Jerry, will you do all these things for me, many of them, of course, or simply opportunities for whoever's asking something to try and get something with very little collaborative value there. Between us, for example, companies wanting to sell me something. Why do I need a new video conferencing service? I don't You might think, Well, that's not a big deal. The more you get influential the Mawr and Mawr and Mawr, you will be wanted for one thing or another. If we think making a lot of money online is great, wait until people start asking for a piece of that money. The government wants their cut. Companies will start wanting their cut for all the services as soon as anyone figures out that we have money. Hey, can I have some here? I have this project I want you to do. When we start having all of these requests come in, it's important we be able to process them in a timely manner that minimizes both the time it takes to respond and minimizes the time we spend thinking about them. The system I have today eliminates the ability for people to just reach out and send a cold email to me and get my attention. It eliminates the ability for people to just cold call and say hi, you want to buy my product. I also then have to maintain all the relationships I already have, the friends and family that are just normally contacting me in addition to everyone related to the business. What I've learned is that I need to process and handle things right away. I got several emails this morning, and as soon as I saw those, my brain starts crunching all of the data, so to speak, my brain wants to then get into Okay, Well, Joe Paris sent you an email. And what are we going to say back? What does he need now? I went to close my email tab in The problem with doing that is my brains already done half the work, essentially to process that it's cute up that I'm aware there's a email coming in my mind as well Sit there and just knock all the emails out. This is a drastically different approach, and I used to take for most of my life where I might get an email and think about it for hours, or sometimes days or weeks before responding, I got a letter from the Internal Revenue Service, which is the I. R. S. A couple of days ago. That kind of letters. People are often terrified to get the iris. Asked why they had 300,000 and income reported by PayPal that they didn't notice on my taxes, would I be okay if they just added that income on and redid the estimated taxes from there ? And I assume as I saw it, I said, No, you've got things confused. I put that on a different section. It's all reported over here. What I did is, instead of making this big deal about it, I immediately opened the letter. When I saw who it was from, I read the letter completely. I dropped everything else I was doing because I know that's the exact kind of thing that gets stuck in our heads and we make a big deal out of it. Within an hour and 1/2 I had pulled up the exact pages I needed to from my tax return to show that, yes, I already reported this 300,000 income bought PayPal, sent it to a different business than I reported it under, therefore no difference in the taxable income. Minor detail. I printed the pages out. I wrote a letter out. I had my wife read it. I signed it. I stuck in an envelope and send it back to them. Done. Now, I don't need to think about her obsessed or worry about it because I handled that. It's critical that we handle each request we have and minimize ways to get new requests in force people to essentially weed out themselves with not allowing cold emails. I allow all the people who simply want something out of me without having a plan to genuinely give anything in return that I need to weed themselves out because the only way to get a hold of me for something like that is to schedule a call. And 99.9% of people who would send a cold email will not pay money to schedule a call at the same time when someone does pay money to schedule call when the I. R. S does send me a letter in the mail. When I have friends and clients and family members emailing me, I need to be able to handle it and respond because I have a 10 to 100 times higher load off incoming requests than I've had for most of my life. I remember just getting an email or two I needed to respond to used to be a big deal. Today I often am able to go through anywhere from 10 to 100 plus requests in a day because as soon as they come in, I handle them and I'm done. And then my mind is free. Later, for example, my mom just sent me a a long text message. I had to scroll down three or four times, and I just noticed it right before I was going to film this video. Meanwhile, my mind starts pulling up all the things I need to think about related to my mom. What I did is I took an extra minute or two to read what my mom said. Give her back a response. She sent a really long text. That doesn't mean I have to send a really long text back. I sent a simple text back. We love you and we'll talk to you soon, or something like that. Thank you for the message. We love you and we'll talk to you soon. I acknowledge that I received the message and read it, and at the same time now my mind is then done with that. If it weren't for doing this video to mention that my mind wouldn't have anything else to do on that, it's ready to fully process the next tasks. What allows a lot of us to feel like we're getting a lot done without actually doing almost anything is to have a whole bunch of essentially programs and tax open were working up. Have you seen someone before that said that I'm so busy and then when you actually dig into it, you can't hardly figure out what they're doing. All you can notice is that they're doing a whole bunch of things, but they're not actually finishing any of them There in the middle of writing an email, they've got several text messages they're trying to respond to. They've got these conversations open, and nothing seems to be finished. What I do today, I finished things in my life. I take things in, send them back out. That leaves me essentially open to receiving Mawr and then processing it back out. Imagine if our bodies just took the food we had in and held on to a bunch of it. That's how you get really bloated and uncomfortable. We want our lives, especially as people seeking to influence and potentially have followers opportunities. We want our lives to be a smooth, in and out process. We don't want to get bloated and filled up with things to do. One of the most simple strategies to do that is to reduce the things we take in if there's too many, and then when we do have things we need to respond to, like a message from our mother, we read it immediately, go through it and sending out response. I hope this has been helpful for you because this has been one of the biggest challenges from me in building up, as an influencer is dealing with. How do I process all these people companies wanting things from me all the time? 16. Advertising Works: how powerful is advertising and why is it important? We know about the influence advertising has, as we comprehend what we need to do to become and build our influence. Advertising works so well that most of us aren't even consciously aware of how well it works. When we see that advertising does work, then we also see the opportunity to build our influence through advertising. I've spent hundreds of thousands of dollars advertising online, and that is a huge part of why there are millions of people following me now and do why I have any influence at all online. The advertising gives opportunity to get the message out there, which is why so many companies spend so much money on advertising. As we become aware of how powerful advertising is. The amount of advertising we take in also becomes critical with knowing that advertising works on others. We then want to minimize the impact of advertising on us at the same time with knowing all powerful advertising is I do a lot of advertising, and yet it is very difficult to actually reach me with an advertisement. I have YouTube red meaning. When I go on YouTube, I don't see any ads. I almost never watch TV on my own. And if the TV is on, for example, if I'm over at my in laws house where they watch TV, I realized that the ads I'm seeing may have an impact on me and to be conscious of whatever I'm watching in how I'm consuming it. If I watch enough ads for anything, I will start to convert over to that because everything we're taking in essentially teaches us programmes us and trains us when we show enough adds to enough people. We're essentially teaching and training and programming people with whatever message we have. This is a big responsibility then because if we program people with a message that is hurtful, essentially we can teach people to do things that are hurting themselves. Ah, lot of the advertising where doing is having that exact function right now, as advertisers promote products which are hurting people from a poisoning the insides of people's bodies, Teoh having all these cravings for material, goods and possessions to even literally promoting things like disease and cancer and treatments of them which simply work on the symptoms and are ineffective when we see how powerful advertising is. There's a strong desire to use it because one of the most effective platforms to deliver influence is advertising, I've shown adds toe 1% of people on Earth, and that is a huge part of why I have an influence. Advertising works. I remember a friend at this bachelor party I went to several years ago he was complaining about, adds he was seeing for a specific fast food chain. He then woke up the next day with the craving for food from that exactly fast food chain, even though he didn't like it. Advertising works. It works extremely well. I saw an iPad commercial recently for the new iPad Pro or something like that. And guess what? I was thinking about getting it for a month after that, with just seeing one commercial. Now I already have an I Mac, a Mac Pro, an iPhone and a Mac laptop. My wife got me into Apple with her iPhone, and I'm going to guess at some point the advertising had impact in terms of my wife wanting an iPhone and in terms of the people in her life, such as her mother and sister having iPhones. In fact, you could trace almost all the success toe Apple back to advertising. Apple spends a lot of money doing outstanding advertisements, which have a huge influence on people for better and worse. When we crave a new iPhone, when our existing iPhone is working and we start making excuses as to well, it's kind of going slow or, well, the memories not there when there's a few settings we can easily optimize to get more out of the existing memory, often advertising works so well it will be counterproductive for us. We'll go buy something we don't need that is hard for people to make. That takes a lot of resource, is in time, and energy advertising almost turns us into zombies if we're and meshed in enough of it. Therefore, when we limit our exposure to advertising and maximize our use of advertising, we have that chance to have the influence power in our favor. I try and avoid ads in everything I do today because I know they work, and I know it just takes one and for me to see something. I mostly eat vegan today, but I realize if I watched enough commercials for non vegan things. I would probably drop being vegan after watching hundreds of commercials, even if I initially raged against them and said how disgusting they were. At some point I'd make the flip. I did this with my friends in college. My friends used to tell a bunch of these jokes that I initially hated that were really dirty. And guess what? After enough of those jokes, I realized they either had to get new friends or start really liking the jokes. I opted to start really liking the jokes, and soon enough I was telling all those same nasty jokes myself, offending the people all around me and getting my friends toe laugh. Advertising in the world we're in today is extremely powerful, which means it's essential to expand our influence, and it's essential to minimize the amount of it we take in. A lot of us think we can just build up YouTube channels. We can just build up Facebook pages. We can build up a blawg without advertising it, and I think that's very rare unless we're starting in something brand new, like steam. Yes, there are lots of people on the steam. Blockchain who've built up an audience from almost nothing without any ads. That's a very limited opportunity on YouTube. My YouTube channel went nowhere until I started advertising it. Today, I've spent twice as much money as YouTube is paid me an ad revenue on YouTube ads. And today, that's why often thousands of people, sometimes tens or hundreds of thousands watch my new videos for free because they've already seen so many before. And I keep running you two bads every day. If you watch one of my videos on YouTube, I have ads running all the time that attempt to get you to watch another video. Often, advertising doesn't just work with one impression, and this is why it's easy for a lot of us to write. Advertising often say it doesn't work. You might come and say to me, Jerry, I saw a commercial for something last night and I have no desire to buy it. It didn't work. Often. Advertising needs 10 plus impressions before it really sinks in. I seek with my YouTube channel to make hundreds of impressions with every single viewer that comes along video. I want viewers to watch video after video after video after video with me, and this isn't always a good thing. I have Lots of people complain on my YouTube channel. It's like they watch my YouTube channel in voluntarily. The viewers end up hating my videos and still coming back over and over again. Oh, this another video. I can't stand from this guy, man. And I think, Why do you keep watching? Well, advertising has a lot of bad effects in that sense. To were often program the like things or to think we're a part of things when all we've really done is seen ads for them. I'm grateful to have this message to share with you today, regardless of where you end up seeing it. If I put this video on my YouTube channel, you certainly may end up seeing it as an adds. Thank you for watching. I hope you've enjoyed this 17. A Journey in Social Proof: what is social proof, and why does it have a massive impact on how our message is received and therefore, what influence we have when we deliver a message? Social proof is what others see when our message comes out. For example, on Facebook, if we release a video and someone likes it with that, like his social proof, its most powerful. If there's a combination of quantity, let's say thousands of likes on a post with quality. Our exact two friends, like to specific post social proof, has been extremely powerful for me in increasing the influence of my message online, especially anywhere where their sales, for example, reviews are very powerful form of social proof. Of course, social proof can be manipulated in terms of paying for fake reviews in terms of trying to make systems to get lots of reviews in and I've manipulated a lot of social proof is well, I've benefited from the rewards of manipulating the social proof, and I'm here today to say it's better to do it honestly if we find out some fraudulent means was used behind social proof that can often produce the exact opposite result where we convert people into working to constantly deflate our influence. We essentially can make enemies by messing around with our social proof. Therefore, the best social proof is the most honest social proof. We simply put a post a video of book. Of course, we put it out there to the world, and we allow everyone to say whatever is desired. If we put a course outweigh, allow the reviews to just come in, we take no action to try and intentionally raise the review. Score lower the review score because we have faith that if we do a great job on something, the results will reflect that in some places we can help raise the opinion by asking specifically for like, for example, on YouTube and many of my videos. I often ask, if you like me to do more videos like this, would you please leave a like to help motivate those enjoying the message to actively participate or engage, as we call it? At the same time, this often promotes ah lot of the opposite engagement, which can be negative. For example, in many of my courses, I often would ask, Will you please leave a review on the course that was effective in both getting more positive reviews and a negative reviews. While some buyers might not have realized that they had the chance to leave a negative review upon hearing me ask for a review, especially if I asked at the very beginning of the course before with it, anyone had time to make a fully formed opinion or a fully formed positive opinion. More like often, the earlier I had asked for a review in the course, the more negative reviews I'd get. Oh my God, I just went through The first lecture in this course sucks. There are a lot of reviews like that, except much longer. Here's eight reasons why this course is the worst. Here's why Juries, a dishonest, disgusting person he's not even silver doesn't even believe in God words from one actual review. The power of social proof is clear when we see something new, especially if we see a video we've never seen before, and we see that our friends like it on Facebook. That motivates us toe watch it. Whereas if that video would have come up with almost no likes on it and none of our friends having liked it. The odds of us scrolling past it according to the data, are very high. The problem this presents for most of us is that if we're trying to just get started with our influence, it tends to be almost impossible because Social Proof is one of those log rhythmic type of mathematical equations. In layman's terms, the more social proof you have, the easier it is to get even more when you're starting out with zero, it can be very difficult to just get toe one if we're trying to do it all on our own. If we're not asking our friends and family to watch our videos, if we're not sharing what we're creating with everyone, it can be very difficult to get anyone who doesn't already know us and love us to do anything with what we create. A lot of creators and artists, as I did when I first started my business, were extremely frustrated with all the work and effort I had put in to create something. And then the zero response it would get because I often didn't even share things with my friends and family, I often was ashamed of the work I was doing the services I was offering in my business. The very hardest thing to do is to get someone who has no idea who we are, what we're doing to do anything with us, and especially to trust us because there's oh, Internet full of opportunities to get scammed. Teoh give away your information to get taken advantage off. Why would we want to trust anyone knew when there so many people who already have established social proof who already clearly demonstrate all the good that we're doing? All the people were helping when we already have YouTuber after YouTube or after YouTube worth millions of subscribers proven quality videos? Why would we bother watching someone with one subscriber who's just done their 1st 2 videos ? Social proof makes it extremely difficult to get started for a lot of us, and therefore it makes it very tempting to try and cheat social proof. As I've cheated social proof a lot. And the problem is, the cheating often backfires. We'd have been better off just slowly working our way up instead of trying to cheat Ah, head faster, often on Lee to get dragged way back to where we were before. With a sudden shock. I spent a whole bunch of money when I first built my Facebook page is buying fake likes on my pages from bought profiles I got on Fiverr. I dumped a lot of time and energy and precious little startup capital I had from my own bank account into this Onley, then to have people easily see through it on Lee. To then realize I'd crushed a lot of the metrics for my Facebook page on Lee to realize. I wish I wouldn't have even done that at all. I even went so far as to build a business out of doing that, which faded away quickly and prevented me from learning more valuable skills from making a bigger contribution. Social proof is so powerful that this is one of the biggest barriers a lot of us face in terms of continuing to go forward, we put out a video that gets one or two or 50 or 100 views. Some number, we think, is just way too low in our fantasies. We thought this video go viral. Millions of people would watch it. This will make a huge difference in the world. Our reality, then, is incredibly painful as we watch 10 people look at it and get three dislikes on the video on a couple of likes from our mom and our friends. And we say, Screw it, I'm not even going to try anymore. This world sucks. They don't deserve my help. I'm done. Meanwhile, we keep wishing and fantasizing that we could accomplish our original goal and all of a sudden now were tourney. We want to keep trying and working, but it's just too painful, and we often then just give up that point, say, Forget it. I'll just let everyone else with more popular channels just keep going. I'll let all the bloggers who already doing a good job they couldn't do it. They don't need me. My gift isn't important to the world. I'll just keep going to a job I don't like. I'll keep doing work. I don't find any joy and I'll keep paying my bills and maybe I can die feeling like I did a good enough job. Is that the kind of life were trying to live today? That's not the kind of life I'm trying to live today on what I can tell you is that, Ah, lot of failure in terms of those fantasies comes in with social proof. I've made a bunch of things. I was sure this was just what the world needed. And the world did not agree, at least right away, one of the biggest things that helps our social proof visit for patient, especially if we are just starting out or trying to build. Why do we get the idea that everything we do should immediately go viral? Goto top and that that's even better? What if we just make a big difference in the lives of five or 10 people every day? Isn't that enough? There's an author. I love the story, even though you might call it tragic. He wrote a book, and he went over and over the publishers to publish it. And they said, No, no, no, no, no. And he killed himself because he was so dismayed with the world he couldn't get his book out there. His mother then tried to publish it. After his death, she got it published, and it became a best seller. How many times do we essentially do the same things with our own creative work, we make a video. Ah, post Ah, book. Of course we're so excited about We work really hard to share it for the first day or a couple of days, and then we essentially kill ourselves. We say, screw it And I don't even want to look at that project anymore. No one likes that. I'm done with it and we don't even give our hard work a chance to succeed. Lots of times, we may not even realize ah, month or six months later that what originally had no social proof has gotten massive social proof. I wrote a post on steam that was originally a video called Cryptocurrency Price Predictions for July 2017. I didn't even realize out of the hundreds of Post I'd published on steam that that one had got more views than any of the next 20 to 50 posts combined. It won post got 20 plus 1000 people to read it within two months, and I didn't even know it until Larry, with amazing stats, went through an analyzed all of the data for my entire time on steam and then presented in an infographic. Then I noticed Oh, this one Post got 20 plus 1000 views. The next best poster had got a couple of 1000. If we just focus on what we're giving and contributing in our work each day, lots of times are social proof will pile up on what we've done, and we may not even notice it. Therefore, my suggestion is to realize the empower of social proof, but at the same time understand that when we do good for others, when we give to others, when we keep trying, we will get the social proof we need and that over time it will continue to pile up more and more. And that after all the misadventures I've had with social proof, I find today that combining just doing a good job every day with a bit of advertising makes social proof fairly easy. The more I do, the easier it is to just get social proof automatically, especially in the 1st 24 hours. I hope this has been helpful for you because I've been through a very difficult journey with social proof, from not thinking it mattered to trying to cheat it, to suffering penalties, from cheating it to finally just being comfortable with the social proof I receive each day and grateful that that it consistently experience them. The influence I have and the reach my work has every single day. Thank you. And I hope you enjoyed it. 18. Choose What Influences us: as we're seeking to influence, we also must understand that were being influenced all the time. There's no separation between our influence and what is influencing us except our choices. This means we want to consciously control what is influencing us in my life. I'm very aware that the people I hang around with the places I go, the things I do, what I read online, what I see in terms of movies or TV, all of these things air influencing me. The books I read are essentially allowing another to influence me. I'm accepting programming like Neo in the Matrix. When he sits down and starts learning new skills, he essentially is accepting programming into new things. He can learn from martial arts to flying a helicopter. And when each of us goes about our day, everyone and everything were interacting with has the ability to influence us. This is what makes it equal. If it starts to bother us as to why some people have such a big audience, and will I ever get this many followers? All the quantity doesn't matter as much because we all influence each other. You could easily take this course and never even get a follower online, apply everything to it and have a huge influence on the world that almost no one would even notice because each of us is influencing each other all the time. The only power we really have is the ability to choose what influences us, who influences us. Where are we receiving programming from? For these reasons, I avoid doing a lot of things I used to in my life. For example, I used to spend time watching TV every day. I avoid watching TV whenever possible now, because I'm not interested in receiving the influence from TV. I'm not interested in receiving influence from advertisers online that want me to buy products. I'm not interested in receiving the influence off people who consistently are miserable and toxic and struggling to feel feelings and frustrated with the world. I am interested in receiving a little bit of that. I go to recovery meetings every day and I see all kinds of different people there where I'm very happy to receive a little influence from each person. That said, the people I spend the very most time with have the very highest influence on me as well My wife is an extremely uplifting, grounded person that has had a huge, positive influence on me. Her family fits the same criteria. My daughter fits the same criteria. The people who influenced me the most in my life are my wife and my daughter. Now, when I used to be the most miserable and frustrated in my life, I tended toe hang out with people who had the same influence on me. They often were miserable and frustrated with their life, and we'd complain about it together at the same time. The only reason I'm even still here is because I also hung out with people who had more of a positive influence At the time that I was most miserable in my life, I consistently consumed movies that were all about pain and suffering, and you might argue that pain and suffering leads to enlightenment. So you might say movie like Fight Club is not just purely about pain and suffering, but about achieving a way out and getting into enlightenment. You might say a movie like Pulp Fiction might produce the same effect. I used to watch Pulp Fiction, Scarface Fight Club a lot, and then that's how I looked at the world. Those movies were essentially programming May, and then I took that programming out into the world. Today I choose what books I listen to based on what result I want to get out of them. I just listened to a book that was incredibly powerful, called Dying to Be Me, where the author shares her near death experience and what she learned from essentially going into God into the greater reality into the big beyond, or whatever you want to call the greater spiritually experience we're all connected to. When I listen to her entire book, I then in programmed and find the ideas she shared with me flowing around in my own mind. This gives me the ability to consciously choose them what I want to listen to when I listen to things that are telling me how horrible the world is and how miserable and wrong people are. Guess what my mind tends to be filled with, that the effect of these things tends to last a really long time to. I used to listen to a lot of Eminem D 12 to Park, and I still have lyrics that go through my head years later, even for many of the songs, I haven't even heard them in 3 to 5 years and some of them farther back than that. I still have the song lyrics go through my head today. The difference is the majority of my programming today is what you might call positive, connected in light. No, that's humbled your light. And therefore, when some of those song there's come through my head like I'm going to get my gun because they're cashiered didn't process my order fast enough or whatever it is, someone cut in front of me in line, I'm going to shoot them now. And these air lyrics we often hear in songs. And yet when those aren't the majority of our programming, they even become funny. When I hear someone suffering and struggling, I'm available to help because the majority of my life is so wonderful. I'm able to essentially hold that space of unconditional love even when someone like me, for a lot of my life is just miserable and suffering and struggling at the same time. I tend to not be around that most of the time. I don't go hang out in places like bars or nightclubs, where that atmosphere is often, at least for me, in my experience prevalent. I don't go participate in a lot of things that many people are excited about because all of those things program me. I used to love watching violent movies, and then I used to get frustrated that life seemed like an ongoing grand theft auto game that when I saw someone getting out of their car, I would think, Well, I've got my gun. I can go carjack them and go to steal all their stuff And these thoughts were really stupid because I already had my own car already have my own money. I didn't need any things in that person. But after watching so many violent movies, all we see them is this violent, miserable life. Today I realize every single thing I take in to my mind is just like food I put in my body . I realized if I eat some poisoned food or take in some poison drink like alcohol to me is a poisoned drink that I used to take in very frequently. If I take that into my body today, I can expect poisoning to follow. I can expect all the side effects from that. I realized, if I eat some thing that is rotten, that I take that into my body. I can likely experience being sick after that, from vomiting to feeling nausea and even as far as death. And I realized the same thing goes toe my mind if I consume violent movies. If I consume hate. If I consume rage, if I consume sexism, if I consume a separation, then I receive separation. Thankfully, today I at least realize the choice I have when I see an article pop up. I don't even browse Facebook hardly at all as a user anymore because of that exact power. Anyone who appears in my news feed has the ability to influence me, and I choose not even to participate in that. Today. Before I stopped actively reading things on Facebook, I at least had the awareness that if I go click on a post and read mawr, I am accepting that programming. If I go click on a post with an insane title, for example, these terrorists are doing this. This group of people is horrible for this reason. Then I can expect the follow up. I used to be ignorant in the sense that I didn't think stuff influenced me. I remember there was some shooting that happened, and I used to hate even having all these news articles and things talking about shootings, because I believed that the more we talked about these things, the more they were going to keep happening. And in fact, every news story promoting his shooting was almost an advertisement for someone else to go do a shooting look, people will notice you and pay attention. You a few murder a bunch of them with a gun in the school, and yet I would see the news article come out and I would get right in the middle of it. I talk about how stupid it waas that we were talking about all these shootings. You see, if we don't want to be programming something, if we don't want to feed something, the best thing to do is simply ignore it the scroll past and say, No, no, I'm not interested in seeing about how many people were shot Today. I realized there's people dying every day realize there's misery and suffering and despair in the world, but I'm not interested in being programmed with it right this moment. I will see what I need to see, and then I will proceed with the rest of my life choosing because sure, there's some things we can't avoid. And there's some things like going to recovery meetings. I expect there will be people miserable and suffering there consistently. It's nice to have a well rounded dose of the world not stick our head in the sand and pretend like there aren't horrible things happening. But at the same time, most of the world is a peaceful, beautiful place. Nature is not, ah, horribly violent environment. Unless we watch shows all the time showing how lions slaughter these whatever lions hunt and snakes, eating up and sharks. If we watch these shows that show how violent nature is, then we get the thinking. It's all violent. But the truth is, everything is existing in peaceful harmony right now, and even what we think of if violence is simply a change, a shift in form and when we choose what we consume, we also choose our own reality. When we say no to things, we don't have to fight with them either. A lot of us get thoughts were ashamed of in our head. We are married and we see another beautiful person walking down the street. We think, Wow, I'd love to get to know them better And we don't have to fight with those things because often even fighting with things makes them grow, makes a multiply. I remember I saw a girl in a bathing suit one day, and then I was like, Wow, she's beautiful. And then, like, Come on, man, I'm married. I don't want to have thoughts about how beautiful other women are. And then, of course, I had a hard time even stopping, thinking about how beautiful the girl was. Oh, man, she really was beautiful. Come on, that's enough. Quit. You're married. But she was so hot. Shut up. You see, when we fight with things, even if we don't like them, we give them more and more attention, and we actually program ourselves further and further. When we do that today we see something we don't like. We can simply let it go or we see something we do like, but it's not appropriate for us toe, say, interact with it. I see a beautiful woman, but I don't have any need to be talking to her. I'm there goes a beautiful woman. Excellent. That's very nice. I'm grateful. I can notice that today and we move on. There goes a car up ahead. Okay, there's a cloud in the sky. And when we allow the things in our life to come in and we make a conscious choice of which of those things we allowed to influence us, which of those things we essentially consume and enjoy. Then we're taking full control over our own ability than to influence back out with those things. What we take in, we're giving back out. If we choose what we take in, then we're choosing how we use our influence. Also, I hope I've made good choices here and choosing how to use my influence wisely. 19. Create Freely: it's time to lose your mind and let the crazy out how? Oh, jury's still up. What are you doing? Don't sing. This is a serious book. I'm here No learn. I'm here to get some information. This course is supposed to help me change my life. Come on, man. Don't waste my time. What I'm hoping that suggest, is when we don't take life so damn seriously. It might be fun for a few minutes. And when we have fun, we maximize our influence when we play. And when we experience joy when we have a good time, we're maximizing the kind of influence we want to give. If we're miserable and frustrated, Look how f all these people are. Is that the kind of influence were going for? Do we want to be another downer? That's promoting another down message. And who's listened to for all the down things that are shared? Well, this person really stinks in this person stinks and I can't believe what they did, and you need to go out and do something. Is that the kind of influence we want? I want a lighthearted, fun, playful influence, and what I've discovered is most of us respond really well to that. In my videos I work to do minimum are Jerry Minimum no edits in most of my videos. I don't do any edits at all. Now, Sheriff, I completely flub something which happens sometimes if I tell a an outright lie, which happens sometimes I'm not sure I just say something. And then I realized that was completely inaccurate, like I've never had a business online before. That's a lie that is a lie unless I totally forget who I am. And maybe it's the truth. Them. What I do is I leave in the human parts of my video where I mess up now. A lot of us feel this pressure toe always look good and toe have our influence through some reputation reading 48 laws of power. It talks about how important reputation is and never let it down for a moment. But it also talks about being unpredictable. It talks about being an ordinary person and being relatable. If we want to maximize her influence, we've got to be able to be playful and have fun. If we're too serious all the time, we will only attract people who are also too serious and our work won't be fun. I don't feel like I'm doing work right now. I feel like I'm having fun. This is awesome to be able to share this. There's nothing I'd rather be doing right now. That is a characteristic of play that is a characteristic generally of not serious now. Sure, some of these are very serious topics. There's huge incomes and results that can come from them, but it still comes from a place of fun. It comes from a place of joy and being alive. If we are just looking at our influences, some tool we can use to get power. And when I get power to get money and then when I get money, I'm gonna be happy and I'll prove it. Everyone, how great I am and then I'll die in. While I didn't plan that far. If we are to serious all the time, we often promote this toxic energy out and we often lower our influence if we are so serious that we can Onley say the same thing about the same people with the same slant. When people ask what on my political views, I don't have any political views because to isolate and say that, well, I believe in this political party based on what the things you said here are there. Are you have fun. I play. I'm not stuck in one place. I can do whatever I want to. If we want to maximize our influence, we often need to be able to go into different areas. Now. Sure, we have certain specialized talents that will be helpful, but sometimes those talents won't be in demand. Sometimes people won't be interested in our ability to so right away. Now I believe the best opportunities are to be able to match our best talents with our ability to share and describe them. But it's also important to be able to just play around and have fun. I've received a ton of Chris a goal feedback on my channel, people saying You can't make music, you suck it, making music, Stop trying to make music. You're no good at it and yet I'm free to make music because it's play. I'm enjoying it. I'm just messing around and having a good time and out of the people who already love what I do that's inspiring look, he's willing to try doing something. There's no reason he should be able to do it. He clearly has no established skill at it, and yet he's willing to just do it anyway and show all of us that that then tends to raise influence with people who are then more likely to trust on everything else. Ah, person who's willing to share things that they're not doing perfectly tends to be very trustworthy when we're willing to show our imperfections were also willing to be influential and gained trust. My strategy is to simply share everything. Then there's nothing anyone can say that I have already haven't owned up to. I've shared all as many of the worst possible things I can think of that I can remember in my life. I put them into a book called Speaker, meaning 2017 and the only things that aren't in there the things they're simply not enough time, anything that I came up and remembered. Essentially, I talked for 12 hours in the book. I shared my most embarrassing and shameful sexual moments. Alcoholism moments, my worst of my gambling addiction, my eating problems, my obsessive video gaming my suicidal depression. I just share everything, and that allows me to maximize my influence because that promotes trust. We trust people who we can see their darkness. We trust people who are willing to be vulnerable and open up to us. And that requires a little bit of playfulness because a lot of us, in a serious spirit, are not going to share a lot of our worst. Memories were not going to open up in a serious way, because all will imagine is seriousness coming back. I did some stand up comedy, dated my friend Thomas Watch, which was very foul, and yet it was funny to me, at least because it was end. A few others, not to every viewer, for sure. It was done in a way, this playful look. How look how crazy I used to be, and that is empowering because when were comfortable sharing anything, then there's nothing to be afraid off. Then there's no reason to be serious. I make these criminal currency price predictions, and I tell people, Look, I'm just guessing. I don't know what I'm talking about. I look at data and I've been doing this for a while. and I participate what I'm just guessing and that promotes a greater influence as well as more critical feedback. If we're willing to just play and have fun, then we don't have to worry about our feedback as much. If we're doing things because we love doing them, we don't have to demand that they get a good result right away. If we're struggling and suffering to make a video, if every moment of making a course is miserable, but we hope it will make sales. If we're writing the book and every page is just horrible, I don't know how I'm gonna finish this. Like most of the things I remember doing for school. No, I can't wait to finish this miserable paper. So I'm getting a so I get out of this school so I could get a better job so I can raise my family so I can retire so I could die and someone will leave me alone finally and won't want anything from me. When we do things all in seriousness, then we don't have a chance to experience the joy of life Now. Sure, there's times to be more serious than others at the same time. The more playful and fun we are, the more we get that back is a reaction. When we share in a playful and fun way, we'll get playful and fun back when we share in a serious way, we're going to get lots of serious back, and we'll also sometimes get playful back, which then may annoy us. How dare you have fun watching my video that I suffered through to make? I've suffered through making some videos, and then people make some joke or you are a jerk. How dare you cuss out my serious video with your hilarious joke? How dare you have more fun with what I created? Then I did creating it. A lot of us have been programmed that it's not OK to play and mess around and have fun, and that's one of the biggest obstacles to what we're talking about here. At some point we were dancing as a kid and some adults I'd stop that. You look stupid and I can just feel some of us just cringing because that happened to us or the art teacher. We come over and we've done something really proud of the art teacher says You didn't draw right and we say, Never again will I have any fun on a piece of paper with a crayon? Or we trying to do something like my brother used to make music. He had this Elektronik keyboard. My parents got him and he'd bang away on it and it sounded horrible. And I made sure to tell him, You're suck it piano. You should never play again. Don't do that. I hate it. Your horrible on you know what? He stopped playing Pretty soon, a lot of us have been conditioned that we're not to play. It's not safe to play and mess around. It's not safe to do what we want to. We need to stay serious and goto work and provide for our families and make sure we got money in the bank. And if we got money in the bank, we need to get more cause someone might take the money we already have. It's no fun if that's all we do, and if we're serious all the time, we're usually consumed in fear all the time. And if we're consumed in fear all the time, there's a lot of competition. There's already a lot of people that do a great job with fear based propaganda. There's a huge opportunity to gain influence today by just being fun by just showing who we are by just playing around and having a good time with what we're doing. And it takes a big leap of faith in it. But that leap of faith is easier when we see that others of us are already doing this, that a lot of us are already earning a full time living, doing what we love. I'm very grateful. That's this situation for me today. I do whatever I want. I play around, I mess around with things and I earn enough to pay all my bills and pay down debt. That's a miracle. And I hope in sharing this the same miracles available today in your life that we have the chance to just play together and enjoy this life instead of everything being such a pain in the butt. Winston Churchill had a quote that says history is one damn thing after another, and how many of us air living our lives like that? Well, how are you today? It's one damn thing after another, a lot of our chance out is to just play around and have fun with what we do. And then life is one joy after another instead of one damn thing after another. 20. The Power of Routine: where do we gain huge benefits in our lives from depending on routines to manage critical areas of our lives? For example, how do we use routines to help Goto Batta and get a good night's sleep every night? How do we use routines to make sure we have healthy food to eat on a daily basis? How do we use routines? Toe? Make sure we stay in touch with friends and family. How do we use routines to assist in giving our gift to the world? What's worked for me in the last several years to optimize my ability to share my gift with the world in terms of producing videos, blawg, post courses, books has been to, ah, be conscious of the routines in my life and modify routines according to what helps me the most, and then leave them there most of the time while consistently making changes. Checking for optimization is, and sometimes verifying the reason for the routine in the first place. Would you join me in looking at my bedtime routines? Because I think this will be a very helpful example. When I go to bed, I've learned what works to consistently go to bed at the same time every night and to get me anywhere from 7 to 9 hours of sleep every single night, even with a two year old child. What works? I've found that first of all, it's time to start bedtime routines. Two or three hours before the event itself, I started a winding down process where my entire body, mind and body are conditioned that we wind down and shut off. Therefore, I give up doing things like checking Facebook. Doing work the last three hours of the day, then are a sacred time of relaxing and letting go. This starts off with bad time for my daughter. My wife and I give her a bath and say Good night tour. My wife puts her to bed while I then walk the dogs at night and talk to my friends and family. This finishes me off physically, essentially with that hour or so walk, draining the last physical energy and exercise. Then I follow that with a shower, some reading sit and talk to my wife for a few minutes and then we go to bed. This is what we do seven days a week. We usually are in bed anywhere from 10 30 to 11 30 depending on how long we talk and slight deviations that occur due to a normal life. What this does is it helps my body to know what to expect every day, which helps everything toe work smoothly. By contrast, for a lot of my adult life, I had this freestyle going to bed routine, and it was miserable because lots of nights I get in bed and I wasn't tired or my body wasn't programmed to wind down. I'd have something important to do the next day. And while most nights as an adult, I probably averaged 2 a.m. as a bedtime. I try and go to bed at, like, 10 or 11 1 night, and I just lay in bed and roll around and be miserable and think about all these things and then be afraid I wouldn't go to sleep. And then I'd wake up the next day, often tired for whatever I needed to get up for whether it was Ah, court appearance when I was a police officer or an exam in graduate school or just in appointment with a client from my business or even a new video came releasing the next day . Other nights, then I would get drunk and stay up really late and pass out at five in the morning, wake up at nine with a hangover, sick and miserable. Then, with the hangover, I'd end up going to bed really early in falling right, asleep at nine or 10 lots of times, taking Anvil. And then the next day, when I felt better and I didn't drink and I went toe work. Then I'd go to bed at 11 or midnight, my mind would be racing. I'd be craving a drink. The next day I'd get drunk and go through the whole cycle again. When we don't have good structure for things that are important, our lives like sleep, we often get into all these freestyle cycles. And then we struggle desperately for something that give us a little bit of control. Alcohol is one form of control. Ah, lot of us use to try and assisting, going to sleep. Others of us. We use drugs to try and force our body to shut off and go to sleep. We run it up until the very last moment, logging on the Facebook, responding to emails, getting all upset about things, talking about TV shows we wind ourselves up, and then we'd expect some pill to just do the shut off work for us. And then if that doesn't work, we take more pills. We drink more. We see our doctor. We go crazy. If we have some simple routines, this can often fix what is a massive barrier to becoming more influential. I like this line that just came into my head from the A D 12 song. It's talking about seeing this girl at the club and the rapper, and it says You want to be a model. You need a lot more sleep. How many of us are trying to do things like the models be influential online? Make videos right? A blawg Post film courses play music. How many of us are trying to do things? And the simple truth is we need a lot more sleep. I know it's so attractive and sexy. We read online about how this guy with this many followers just gets four hours asleep every night. I read and Tim Ferris's book a description of exactly this a YouTube creator huge following every day he gets up at four in the morning. He has his blawg up by eight, he has a full day of filming and working. Then he stays up with his family. Then he watches TV. At night. He finally goes to bed about midnight. Then he gets up at four in the morning, seven days a week. Our bodies will handle a lot of abuse. Our bodies will tolerate things, but it comes out in how we interact with the world. And even if we do get more followers, even if we do become more influential, it's so fragile, then were a subject to a breakdown. Where then were forced often to completely disappear for sometimes weeks, months, years as we go to rehab as we are, gets sick and get cancer and have to go the hospital and recover and go through horrible treatments before we even get back to just doing the basics for building our influence. Most of us are very much what have you done for me lately? If I put out a video today, that's tends to be much more powerful if I do it every single day versus doing it once a week or doing it 10 times a day for a year and then not doing anything for several years, routines air. Very helpful for taking care of ourselves in a way that then we have the ability to consistently give our gift each day when we consistently give our gift each day, our influence tends to build faster and faster and faster, and the ideal formula then is to live our lives in a way where we're not giving more than we have every day where we're getting enough sleep every day where we're eating right where we're feeling good about where we're doing, why we're spending time with our family and routines are critical to manage all of this. It takes the need to think about things out. For example, I don't have to think about my bedtime routines. When it's eight o'clock, I start bedtime routines Now, Sure, it's good to not have every single detail of our entire lives in a routine. We need room to experiment in play. Most of us have a desire for both certainty and uncertainty. Routines work really well. The handle things where we need to do them the same or very similar every day. My daughter, at two years old, is clear evidence of this. She is happy almost all day, every day because she's got routines that my wife sets up for her. That take very good care of er. She makes sure she gets sleep both at night and then in a nap in the middle of days. She makes sure she has things to do and interact with, and at the same time, other things air free. Start a little bit for me. Sleep routines are extremely important to make sure I'm well rested. I also have eating routines. I make a smoothie every day that has all the fruits and vegetables I need for the whole day in it. I enjoy that. Our because then I spend time of my daughter that day as well. I know I've got an hour every day. We're all they need to do is make my smoothie. I don't need to make any important decisions. I don't need Teoh talk to anyone unless my daughters around the play. I don't need to do anything except sit there, stand there and make that smoothie. I have another hour or so each day where I go to Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, and that's another hour. Why can just sit there and rest and listen mostly to what other people have to saying. If I have something this year, get my hand up and share my experience for a few minutes. I also then partner that with routines of hanging out with my family. Most nights I hang out with my family, then from a before bedtime. That gives me a the end of every day, approximately seven hours of routine behavior that is peaceful and relaxing. That allows me to have a ton of energy. When I wake up, I'm ready to go toe work. I'm ready to give my gift to the world. I'm ready to write a post. I'm ready to make a video. I'm ready to contribute. And then once I'm done with that, I don't need to worry about it or obsess about it anymore. I'm done. That's it. I am now can proceed to enjoy the rest of my life. This helps my body to also optimize for all these activities when I wake up in the morning my body as explosive energy because it knows it's expected to deliver, it's expected to say something useful. It's expected to process a lot of information quickly and then share that right back out. It knows when it's expected to make decisions, and it knows when it's expected to relax. When we try and just have this life that we think of is busy but toe others, it looks like a mess. When we have a life that's a mess. It's often hard to stick with anything to focus on anything. As Thomas's emphasized, it's hard to get anything going because anything we get going, the mess of our lives tends to ruin it. The first years of my business, when I was getting drunk all the time and living the life I shared before the mess of my life consistently ruined any opportunity I had. Even when I had a video go viral. Even when I do something people loved. Even when something like a course started selling, I would be such a mess that I'd lose track of the things that were working the best. And when I did show up, I'd often make a negative contribution. I'd make another tutorial that wasn't as good because I hadn't hardly looked at the feedback on the last one, or I was so crazy that day that I couldn't even pay attention enough to do the tutorial. Or I was feeling a bunch of pain underneath, which viewers can easily see. We can tell just by a little bit of someone's facial expression about how that person is feeling and when we use routines to help take care of ourselves almost like a baby, we have the ability to get a greatly enhanced power to what you might call be productive. But it's not about being productive all day, every day. It's about being productive when it's time to be productive, relaxing when it's time to relax, going to bed when it's time to going to bed and still having a little room for freedom and adventure to occasionally violate our bedtime. Just to verify that what we like about our normal bedtime routines does work and that yes, doing work right before bed is a bad idea. We have enough room for experimentation to learn and make new changes that can even optimize our routines further and validate them when the experiments don't work for about a month or two I was doing work after eight o'clock violating my bedtime routines, and after consistently getting miserable and frustrated on a bunch of different nights doing that, I concluded the experiment, which I didn't consciously set out to do. I simply started doing that, and then I realized, Here we go. I've deviated from my routines, I'm suffering. I choose to stop doing that and I will no longer do that. That makes life a good combination of fun and predictable, a combination of certainty, along with uncertainty. Thank you for experiencing the certainty and uncertainty of this with me, and I hope it's useful. 21. Become your own Champion: become your own champion. Thomas wrote this down today, and I absolutely loved it because that's my mind set on my life, become my own champion. I don't need to be like anyone else because I have unique gifts and skills at the same time . That means I can learn from everyone else and simply put the things I learned into being my own champion. Thomas and I were watching a video this morning about Floyd Mayweather, the undefeated boxing champion of the world. He just defeated McGregor in an epic fight. Floyd Mayweather expects to be a champion, and we modify that in to become your own champion based off of him, saying that he looked at Mike Tyson, he looked at the great boxers and grabbed all the tools he could grab from them and said, Let's see what happens when I put all of that into a bag and shake that up and become that fighter. That's my outlook. Each day is to become my own champion, to go about the life I have from family friends, from service in my work from influence online, and to be a champion in that work. In everything I do to be the very best like Floyd Mayweather shirt says T b e e the best ever. This allows me to forget about even competing with other people, because when I become my own champion, there's no competition except with what I've done before. I like what M and M says. He has to go back and listen to his old tracks to make sure he keeps up with his competition, and that's all. I look at it. If I want to compete, I go back and watch my old videos and see what I did before. That's the bar I've set. I don't need to worry about when anyone else is doing are competing with anyone else. Because when I'm becoming my own champion, I'm also then by default, being the best I can be. And when I'm the best I can be, I will naturally except my place, wherever that is. Rather, that's the top witness on steam. The top author on Steam, the top Internet marketer online. I don't even have to go after a specific goal. When I become my own champion, I will effortlessly drift into wherever I need to be. I don't have to struggle and fight to be the top steam witness. All I need to do is give the most and I wore seemingly just rise into exactly where I need to be without having a struggle or compete against anyone else. This mindset has helped me fantastically online and it's allowed me to go places I couldn't have hustled and struggle to get to. I just give the most. I have to give every single day and I trust then I will receive exactly what I give back. When I give the most I get the most. That's a simple law in life because what we do on to others is done back onto us, not in terms off, maybe a little later in the future, Immediately when we give and help someone out, we feel good about that. When we feel good, we do good. Becoming your own champion also eliminates the need to set any expectations against someone else. I don't need to go to anyone's YouTube channel and look and say well, I should have that many subscribers. I used to do this a lot and that got in the way of me becoming my own champion. I don't need to go look at anyone else's bank account and think that I am not a champion because our bank accounts look different. I have enough money today. I have enough followers today. I have enough of everything in my life today when I have enough, then I continue toe have enough. The only way I can lose my champion status is to give it away toe, look and say, Well, this person, they've got more of this or that and therefore I don't have enough. If I had a Muchas they had, then I would be good enough. I'm the only one that can give my own power today and a lot of us. We get tricked into giving our power away, especially in places where there is no defined champion. In boxing, there is a defined champion. When you win a fight, you get the title belt. There is a clearly defined champion and that well, actually, up until there's another fight because anyone who wants to contest that championship can simply try and fight for that belt. Then you see all of the things we might want to be a champion of a really in a state of flux. Even if we are number one for a while, then we will eventually drift out of that. If we build our idea of becoming a champion based on what someone else expects, then we're also very easy to influence. Were easy to mislead. Were easy toe targets to give our power away. Becoming our own champion allows us to define our own set of rules for the game. And when we define our own set of rules for the game will often find we get way farther ahead than if we play by others. Rules. Now, Yes, we get a lot of haters. When we set our own rules, we get haters. When I started out being a witness on steam, the rules in my game said, I need to give back and thank the people who have already been helping me and have the best chance to help me the most. I sent out 1000 steam to the people who had been giving me the most already. That's about $1500 today. I sent it to people who already given me hundreds, if not thousands of dollars in up votes, I said thank you. Will you please vote for me as a witness? Now? Many of those people did vote for me as a witness. Meanwhile, others had a huge negative reaction. That's disgusting. He's buying votes. He shouldn't be doing this, but none of them were voting for me. The people who received the message well immediately went and voted for me. Meanwhile, ah, bunch of haters sprung up. He's this. He's a scammer. He's terrible, He's awful. And if we become our own champion, it doesn't matter what the haters have to say. And in fact, they're really giving us fee free publicity. Miley Cyrus got on a wrecking ball naked and swung around and probably got more negative publicity for that than positive publicity. At the same time, Miley Cyrus's influence went through the roof doing that. When we want to reach out and Europe on two goals, that might seem impossible. We have to define our own rules or we always end up playing someone else's game. I noticed in Floyd Mayweather's video, he doesn't set a strict workout schedule, fits 1 30 in the morning. He feels like going the gym. He goes to the gym. If he feels like going for a run. At three in the morning, he goes for a run in his tank top and jeans, if that's what he's wearing, or whatever he needs to do to, ah, do his part to continue training to become his own champion. I'm grateful today that my idea of a champion is not just a guy that can go online and make money or not, just a number one steam witness or not, just a number one steam author. My idea is, Ah, complete human being Ah, father who has time to spend with his daughter every day. That's my idea of a champion who can play around and have fun with his daughter morning, noon and night. Who has time every night to spend with the family, who has time to walk the dogs each night, who has time to talk to friends and family every night? That's my idea of a champion. That helps me to ah, grab onto my full life experience and to enjoy a life that's next to none. I'm a champion in my work in my family life and in my own heart, and that allows me to have a huge influence because I live a wholehearted life, free from fear, not free every single moment, but where fear comes up and quickly disappears where I'm excited about what's happening right now, and I'm so excited that we've done this together. 22. Work Smart, Not Hard: older and wiser. As we get older, it's especially important toe work, smarter instead of harder if we want to maximize our gift giving to the world. When I started my business, I was in my mid twenties. I was in graduate school. I had not gotten married yet. I had just moved in with my wife, who was working full time. I was able to just brute force my business. I was able to just dump time into it. I'll go ahead and work as soon as I get up and I'll work more and I'll think about it all day and not work at night and stay up late. And then sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and go to work on it. I was able to be obsessed with my business and essentially not work very efficiently to do things the hard way to try and figure things out myself, that I could easily look for in a tutorial to try and do everything myself to try and look perfect all the time. The more I've worked in my business, the more I see the critical need toe work smart instead of work hard, because when you combine working hard and smart, it's an incredibly powerful gift giving opportunity. When we just try and work hard on everything without considering the impact of it, then we often get frustrated about how much time we end up giving to something that could have been done faster. For example, when I started filming my videos, I filmed them on a computer that took a 20 to 30 minutes just to render a short video. I used this very slow editing set up where I filmed it on a webcam and recorded the audio separately. Then I had to put the video and the audio together in Windows Media Player and sink them up and then try and edit the audio and get it to sound better. And then I'd need 30 plus minutes to render it. It was a nightmare. On top of that, I try and go through and edit out whenever I didn't say something perfectly. As we've heard listening to this, I don't say everything perfectly, and I just leave it in anyway. Why? Because I trust you to deal with a little bit of imperfection in exchange for me being able to do this five or 10 times faster. That's working smarter. I realized that the people I love following, I don't care if they slip up and say Elmer occasionally, I don't care if sometimes the point they're making falls through and it ends up being just listening to them talk for five or 10 minutes. Eckhardt totally was the one that I discovered this room. At first, I listened to two of his audiobooks, professionally produced and edited every word in the right place, every single syllable correctly enunciated. Everything lined up perfectly in the third audiobook. I listened. It was him giving out a live lecture and things were awkward. He drift off for a few seconds and not say anything. Sometimes the things he'd say wouldn't make exact sense. The amazing thing was, I found myself laughing a lot more at hearing the rial, unedited version of him, then listening to the ultra edited and polished version. The 1st 2 things I listen to the power of now and a New Earth were helpful. But the greatest help I found was just naturally listening. In discovering that I also realized I could work a lot smarter by just practicing all the time at talking as if I was on a video. Thomas and I were having lunch a few days ago, and I told him Part of my reason that I'm able to do the videos with minimal needs to make huge edits is that I act like I'm on a video almost all the time. When I talk, I am essentially training all the time when I talk as if I'm doing it for production, because then when it's time to do it for a production, it comes automatically. Then I don't have to edit anything most of the time. Occasionally, I'll tell on outright lie and just restart the video I'm filming. This helps me work a lot smarter because now, six years after starting my business, my circumstances have changed a lot. I'm not a single guy who's just moved in with this girlfriend doing graduate school and, ah, business for fun. I have all of my work now is my own business. I have a wife and daughter at home. I live across the street from my wife's family who enjoy seeing me. It's not the same life I had before, which means It's not an option for me to just dump all the time and energy I have into trying to make a perfect video or trying to write a blawg post that has absolutely no errors in it or trying to just do five or 10 or 20 videos a day, as I've done at various points with my business. Before my daughter came along, there were frequently days I would do 20 or 25 videos in one day. I'd step up and just film and film and just do an entire course in a day or two. Today I work smarter and smarter because that allows me to have a balanced life where I have time for my family, where I have time for my friends, where I have time to, ah be an ordinary human being who has the chance to do extraordinary work at the same time . I'm not sure if you can skip that phase where you just blunder in and do as much as you can . Thomas is an expert. I would say musician, he's got a master's degree in music theory. He makes his own music. He's been a deejay. He's very well rounded and dip deep in terms of his education. What he's able to do is then work fairly quickly to produce a song. He can just make a song quickly off the top of his head and put that out there and mix it, and it sounds great. Thomas didn't start out that way, making his own music, though I'm sure he just put a whole lot of time and energy and effort and played around and learned all the different angles and played and listen to a ton of music. But now he wouldn't need to be able that spend all day to be able to put out a song almost every day or every other day if he wanted to. It may be necessary to not work smart, so to speak when you get started that way, you understand specifically what is working smart. You understand that I don't need to spend five hours editing a video. I can accept that I slipped up one word here or one word there and didn't do it perfectly. And if someone is just aggravated and annoyed about that, then they were just aggravated, annoyed and having a bad day before I screwed up the exact word I meant to say there and they'll go on and have the same kind of day, regardless of Rather, my production was perfectly polished or not. Ironically, I find I'm more attracted to an honest and open presentation, and the amazing thing is that that sinks really well with working smart instead of working hard. I like what Steve Jobs said when someone would give a Power Point presentation and sit there and read the slides after a slider to he'd tell him, Look, you either know what you're talking about and can just tell it to me or you don't. In which case I'm not interested in watching this presentation, either. I think he actually was a bit more harsh about it, something along the lines of just explain it or you don't know shit, something along those lines. And today that's the logic behind working, smarter, working hard. You either know what you're talking about. You they know what you're doing, or you don't so just share it. It doesn't need to look perfect, and then you've got the chance to have time to do other things. Working smart also means stepping back when things aren't working. I was trying to upload a video to D Tube today and I don't know what it was doing. It wasn't working, so I stopped. I said, You know what? I'll try and upload later if we just sit there. One of the hallmarks of working hard instead of smart is trying to just bang our heads off something that's not working. And I used to do that a lot. There was a day on skill share. The videos weren't up loading and I just banged my head. And why is it? And I just kept trying to upload videos and it didn't work, and I kept trying, and I spent hours and hours Onley to get an email from them. The next day, our video servers weren't working. Yesterday, when we work smart, we quickly back off things that aren't working and then try them again. Leader that allows us toe have balance in our lives. I'm grateful today that I have the chance here to work smart with you, and I appreciate that I have the courage to just share off my heart, to share what I know and to realize that you might actually enjoy it better if it's not perfectly polished. It might be funnier if I just share what I know without sitting there and trimming the life out of it, which also saves me a ton of time. Thank you very much for enjoying this with me, and I hope it's been helpful to inspire you to look around and say, What opportunities today do I have to work smart? And how will that combine powerful E with my hard work motive? 23. Negative Motivation: We don't need to be positive all the time to make a difference and to get and give motivation. Negative motivation can be a highly impactful for what we're trying to do. For example, when I was teaching on you know me after about a year teaching on you to me, I had made barely any money. In fact, if you looked at all that I had spent, I lost money. Overall, I saw an instructor who put up a course showing how he was making $1000 a day and another course about making thousands of dollars a month on YouTube. I took his course and looked at what he was doing, and I said, This socks, I know I can do better than that And that was outstanding negative motivation that showed me that if he was making 1000 a day, then I knew I could make 2000 day because I could do better videos. I could be more generous in giving them away to a wider audience. I could be more effective in bringing Mawr outside viewers, from YouTube into you to me, and that's exactly what I did within ah year. I had months. Rhyme made two ends one month, even $3000 a day, and that's in profit. Actual sales were five plus $1000 a day. Many days. The negative motivation was very powerful for me. What we often get stuck in this trap of is that everything's got to be good now. I love the idea of good. I love trying to be a good person who's not outrunning people over with their car or tearing down all the beautiful things we've built. At the same time, we see that life is a balance. There's a saying that Ah, bad man is a good man's job. In other words, if everyone was just doing what we were supposed to all the time, life would be boring if there weren't bums in the street, so to speak. If there weren't evil CEO's or whatever, you think a bad person is murderers out killing people, then what work would there be for Ah, each of us that has, ah, peaceful life that coexists with our fellow human beings without trying to tear them down or destroy them or stab them in the back? And how does all this relate to our influence when we allow any type of motivation to help us were able to maximize our influence both off negative and positive motivation. A lot of what I've given has turned into negative motivation for others. As people watch my videos predicting crypto currency prices online and get disgusted. This idiot, he doesn't know what he's talking about. I could do better than this and guess what. We then have the results of the doing better. One of my favorite examples, I posted a video course, which I sold for $180 showing how to be a steam witness, which basically is where the mining is done for the crypto currency steam producing a Blockchain in real time. Another person saw this, who was just starting up their own witness and was disgusted. How dare he sell this course? For $180 I will show you how to be a witness and do it all for free. And even though he made the post intending to be extremely critical off what I was doing, I found it helpful. I realized that passion comes in love or hate that often we have our greatest passion And that's can come. Oh, sometimes in the form of love, sometimes in the form of hate that even though what might look like someone just hating, giving negative feedback, This is a person who has a lot of love, even if it isn't clearly understood as love. It clearly is seen as the polar opposite of hate, of feeling disconnected and then trying to make something that is actually becomes better than what was originally made. My witness video course wasn't very good, and it inspired someone to make a guide. That was good. That then helped me. I'm even voting for that person as a witness today because I appreciate that they had the courage to come out and say what they felt in their heart without hiding it or sneaking around and trying to discretely stab me in the back. They just threw it out there and said, Look, I don't agree with what he's doing, and that motivated me to do better. Negative motivation is a powerful tool for us to build ourselves up, and one were aware that we often take a negative motivation toe heart and use it a lot more effectively than we do positive motivation that helps us to see that everything in our life is really there to help us. Everything we've been given is really just what we've asked for when we want to maximize our influence. We don't want to just go positive motivation all the time because often a lot of us have a life full of positive motivation. We're already being told how to be happy every day, how to be healthy, how great we are. Lots of us are crave that negative motivation. When my dad was dying and I was 60 or £70 heavier, way fat, more close to morbidly obese drinking alcohol way to excess, my business was going downhill and I was about to get into bankruptcy, save for practically divine intervention. Almost any other situation I likely would have went into bankruptcy. I had borrowed all money on my credit cards, had huge debts, and then all of a sudden I just got more money and I knew what to do with when I was in the middle of my struggle in the middle of my pit. My dad, who generally was very positive, who generally listened to all of the stupid things I did and didn't sit there and criticize me and tell me how dumb I was. Hey, just listen to my father was an alcoholic and a drug addict and a gambler. He done a lot of crazy things in his life, and he was very good at just listening without condemning without providing judgment. However, the last time I saw him on one of the last days, he looked at me and he said You could do better. And man, those four little words devastated me. You conduce better, especially when he didn't generally say things like that. Wow. And I internalized that it was almost like a, uh, poison within my existing life. You can do better. And then I knew the truth, The truth that I could do better, that I wasn't doing better, that I was ruining my life. I was disgracing all of the gifts I'd been given that I was poisoning my body and making it into something that disgusted me, that I was poisoning the world with the things I was saying. The hateful messages I was delivering and nodding my head to the hateful things I was screaming at people on Xbox when I'd play Get the F out of here and any kind of nasty thing I could say to just push people away. You conduce a better man. That motivation was good. Over the next year of my life, I saw the most miraculous change I've ever seen, and now I'm grateful for that message that you can do better. Often the most critical feedback has helped me out a lot. To hear someone say you can do better. It hurts at first and often will find all these ways to disagree with it. To say, you're wrong, I can't do better or you're wrong. I'm already doing better than You will often argue with the negative motivation at first, but then usually will start if we want to be our own champion. If we want to maximize their own influence, we will then grab on to all of the opportunities to make those changes in our lives that do help us to do better. We may be surprised to find that many of the most motivating things that have happened in our lives have been what we might look at his tragedies as disasters. When I got banned from what looked like the divine gift that saved my business in the form of teaching on you to me when I got the email saying that I had been suspended from the website after no previous steps, air strikes just out of the blue. We're done with you and it's final. I was devastated and I got a lot of negative motivation out of that, I'm going to find a way to give Mawr. I'm going to find a way where I can give everything I've got for free and people don't even have to pay for what I have. I will find a way to enable any person with the Internet connection and even their friends and family who might not have it to greatly benefit. I will find a way to give more. In the year since that's happened, I've seen even more miraculous transformations in my business that have allowed me to, uh, reach and help probably 10 times as many people as I was doing, teaching on you to me by just putting out free videos. Now that doesn't mean I've got lost sometimes and went back toe charging for higher price courses. But Sometimes we need to make mistakes and get more negative feedback to help us get back on track. When I recently sold that course for $180 become a steam witness, I got a ton of negative feedback on it. And that motivated me to remember my original negative motivation after getting banned from you to me. Remember, I want to be able to give us much for free. And if there's an option where I can give for free or accept payment, it's much better to give for free. And that all those comments you scammer, this is disgusting. The comments motivated me to think, What can I do to give the most how doe I reorganize my business with this feedback in mind ? Okay, I can just upload videos and stop putting my videos and online courses, even though in the short term that might be a little scary. In the long term, I'm likely to come out way farther ahead. Negative motivation is powerful, which also is free for us to use. If I put something out and you here and you're like, he's an idiot, this book sucks. I could do better than do better do better if you can do better. If you see something that you think is horrible, and you could do better than that, if you hear a song on the radio and think this song sucks, I could make a better one, then make a better one. The worst thing in the world when it comes to negative motivation is toe always be stuck in that state of. I could do better, but never following through with it of hearing ah song and thinking you could do better but not trying to actually do it off. Seeing ah video listening to a book and thinking this could be better but not making the effort, we have to put the negative motivation our lives toe work or often will keep receiving the same message over and over and over again. My body kept telling me I shouldn't drink any alcohol with brutal hangovers, vomiting, headaches, delirium and I kept doing it. I didn't listen, and I kept getting mawr. The last hangover. I threw up blood. I felt absolutely miserable for an entire day, and I finally got the message. Do something different, get help if you can't do something different on your own. A lot of us complain and try and numb the pain of the negative motivation we get in our lives when really it's the exact instructions we need to have everything we want. My life doesn't have a lot of negative motivation in it today, which helps me to take note of whatever negative motivation does come in. Thank you very much for enjoying this, and I hope this rather it's positive or negative. Motivation is useful. 24. Listen to your Body: How much power do we unlock when we listen to and respect what our bodies air trying to tell us? And how does this relate to maximizing our influence in the game of influence? We constantly have to dance. I've done a lot of dances over the years in terms of what I'm talking about, how I do my business, what I'm sharing, how I'm sharing. It's feels like every day I have to dance and move around and adjust my approach just slightly and other times a lot in order to stay on top of the game, to be the best ever to become the champion that I am requires just like in boxing. Ah, lot of dancing and moving around both in the actual exercise and in the training. If I listen to my body, I get instant feedback on how I need to dance. This morning I was dancing in the wrong direction. My friend Thomas, years visiting from the UK he took a long flight here, went through customs, missed one flight, took another flight to get over here, rented a house to stay in and has basically given up doing anything else in his life. except for visiting me, filming some courses in talking with people. And he's here today. So what was I doing this morning? Thinking about what video I want to film for steam completely stuck in my own selfish mind , we might say, or a mind that's unaware of what the other minds need. As I was trying to get everything set up and I just do about had the video ready to start, I felt uncomfortable. I felt like in terms of dancing, as if I was off the beat. I wasn't in the right spot, and listening to my body helped me to move right after I sent Thomas missions that I'll film this video and be over and he said Sure. And then as soon as I said that, I felt like everything was off and that started in my body. I felt anxiety intention. In my body, I felt just like I wasn't standing in the right spot lots of times. The first signal we get we're doing something wrong is our body feels uncomfortable now. Yes, there's other times when we're doing the exact right thing in our minds of made us so uncomfortable. But for the moment, let's focus on just how our bodies feel. This morning I knew my body was uncomfortable because it wanted to be in a different position. As soon as I walked into the house here with Thomas, I instantly started feeling better. I knew I was right where I needed to be. Today, as each of us tries to maximize our influence, we're not going to be perfectly in sync with the beat all the time. And especially when we have different partners we dance with, so to speak will get out of sync with our partner. Sometimes my wife and I get a little out of sync. Sometimes we don't agree on things or one of us or another's feeling down, and the body is the first notification we get of that and the most honest. Lots of times, my mind will try and talk me into thinking things. They're a problem. But if I look at how my body feels will often find there's not a real problem. Now if I grind away on it long enough on my mind, I will make Muehr that in the body in this way, our bodies air like instant reality check instruments now. The key to this is that we need to be sensitive to them. If we're taking drugs toe, alter the feelings in our body for drinking alcohol. Even prescription drugs consistently modify our ability to stay connected with our bodies. A lot of us think the ideal state, in fact, is to cut off the feeling in our body, which things like alcohol and prescription drugs and illegal drugs can be very effective. Let's just numb everything in our body and not feel anything. I have a family member that's taken that approach for, Ah, 10 or 20 years now, and the family member consistently runs in the things all the time. Oh my gosh, how did this happen? The family member consistently gets way deep into problems that, with more sensitivity, could have easily been avoided at the very beginning. Today, I'm very sensitive to how my body feels, and it almost instantly starts telling me when I'm taking one little step in the wrong direction. If we look at it like a journey where were walking through a trail in the woods, if we know as soon as we step off the path, it's just one step to get back on the path if we walk 20 miles or kilometers, depending on what you like. If we walk way off the path, it often takes ah, lot of effort just to get back to where we were. Being sensitive in our bodies is the crucial barometer. We need to notice slight changes. Lots of times. My body has helped me avoid all kinds of potential problems. In fact, the best way to avoid having our influence ruined the best way to off avoid a losing our influence, the best way to avoid doing lots of stupid things and causing problems with their influences to listen to our bodies. What I've noticed is when I go to do something that's not good for me to step off the path , my body will often feel very bad about it. If I go to do, ah, minor transgression, I'll feel it in the body first. Meanwhile, the mind will be trying to sell me on. Why should go forward with in any way we'll just stay home Jury. You know it's no big deal. Thomas is here, just finished filming that video. This is really important. People need to learn how to use D tube today complete crap. But the mind often likes us to get off the path, because then it has more to do our minds, like toe work on problems and solve problems. Our minds, like toe, have chaos and then to try and make sense out of it, that's fun. Our minds often don't like to just be sitting in an Idol state like a car that's in neutral with nowhere to go. Our bodies help us keep a balance If we want to be our most influential, we need our mind to sit in neutral until we needed, at which case it spins up and is ready to effortlessly deliver. I'm not sitting here thinking about what I'm going to say in a minute or in 10 seconds. My mind is working full speed and it's simply producing now. The more I waste that energy on all kinds of other pointless activities, the more I sit there and grind it out on while this politician er I grind it out on things it doesn't need. Teoh chew up essentially, the more my mind is sloppy and un prepared to do something like just speak from the heart and have it make some kind of sense. Our bodies help us to stay on the path and often help balance with our minds, desire toe, wander all over and get into every problem that comes along. And our bodies help us stay centered on our most influential path. Whereas our minds often don't care about anything else, they just want to go play and mess around with everything and sure that's good. And at the same time, we need to be able to balance that with our desire to share and communicate and to love each other in our lives. What I've found is that body sensitivity is crucial, which is why I avoid anything that disrupts the functioning of my body, for example, taking mind altering substances, medication, etcetera because my body will tell me when I have a problem I need to pay attention to, and now I respect my body. If my body feels like it needs to relax, I sit down. I lay down often. Depression is a sign we're doing too much. And instead of numbing the pain, a simple work around is to just lay down for a minute. and to just relax for a minute. Often the more we fight our bodies, the more our bodies fight back to the point where if we fight our body enough, it will produce cancer toe force us to pay attention to it and slow down. It will produce things that force us to slow down and stop and notice it. And if we find our bodies enough, our bodies will give up on us. Our bodies will die and we will still go on. But we will have to start fresh in an all new body. That's why today I enjoy the bond of the love, the connection I have with this body and remember that it's here to serve its here to help , and I dont want to fight with it. And anything that's going on with it is here to help me to maximize the gift I give to the world, which I think is synonymous with my influence. The more I give my gift to the world, the more influence I'm automatically delivering. The more I fight my body, the more I numb my body them or I mess with it. I'm also blocking my ability to give my gift to the world. I'm also blocking my ability to not only gain influence but to keep any of the influence I do have. For the moment, I'm very grateful. Thomas suggested this lecture the power of paying attention to the feedback we get in our body because I ignored this for most of my life. My body repeatedly sent me signals to stop. It repeatedly sent me signals to adjust my life. I've spent hundreds of days in my life sick, nauseous, vomiting, dizzy. All because I wouldn't listen to my body is simple suggestion that maybe I shouldn't have alcohol in it because not all it consistently felt horrible. I just tried to shut it up. I said, Here's some Advil. Quit complaining about the hangover. I've got stuff to do today and now my body is the first thing I check. My body feels really good right now, which is giving me the feeling that I'm doing the right thing. My body also helps signal me when the start talking and when to stop talking, and I'm starting to feel a little uncomfortable with continuing to talk right now, which is how I know to be quiet 25. Ask and Receive: picture exactly what we want the most in life. And the amazing thing is, we tend to get it now. We may not get it right that next moment, but our lives do materialize the way we picture them when we use visualization to picture exactly what we'd like to have. It's like asking like a prayer to the universe saying, Hi, I'd like toe have this. Would you please give it to me? What stops a lot of us from doing this is fueling like we're not worthy toa ask for the life we'd like toe have I just watched an inspiring video with Connor McGregor, who just had a boxing fight with Floyd Mayweather. Connor McGregor talked about how he clearly pictured, even when he was broke, even before there was any reason to. He pictured winning not one but multiple title belts. And guess what? He's done that now Thomas asked me, Have you done that visualization? Do you want to do a video about? And I said yes, because I visualized in very clearly pictured the things that have then been given in my life since I was a little child. I remember as back to even six years old, visualizing about my wife. I very clearly pictured having a wife. I very clearly pictured how I'd feel with her. I did it over and over and over again, no matter what circumstances I had. And the funny thing is, the universe continued to present me with what I asked for over and over again. And I often would say No. I remember a beautiful girl one day who has the same name is my wife. The same first name. She looked at me and it was ready toe be my wife, I'd say. And I wasn't ready for Earth, even though I had been asking for it for so long. And that kept happening over and over and over again until finally I was ready for. And now today I have the wife and the family and the business I've pictured. I have the life I've asked for. The hardest thing comes in for the courage to just ask and the patients, then to be ready to receive it. I tried a visualization exercise in a book called The Universe as Your Back by Gabrielle Bernstein, and I was surprised that I was a bit hesitant to very clearly picture the things I wanted in my life. I've noticed I've often slipped away. The happier I get, the more I win. And him, given what I want to have, often don't make my visualization conscious the way I did when I was unhappy and struggled . This is why a lot of us go through cycles of struggle where nothing seems to be working where often we didn't clearly visualize what we wanted. And often we made all these fear visualizations. We got all those things. Then we fish allies about getting out of that and then we get out of it and the same thing happens again. We often do visualize, and when we take control over our visualisations, we choose and say this is exactly what I want instead of saying this is what I don't want. For example, we were out to eat yesterday. My daughter was walking around on this ledge that was probably about four feet high. She's two years old, and the visualization kept trying to come up in my mind. Of what if she falls? In fact, another lady from a table saw her walking when I had stepped away. For a moment, she sprinted up, afraid that our daughter would fall. What I clearly visualized and looked at was, I trust my daughter to know how to walk. She's walked a lot, and I visualize her walking in playing with no problems without any falling. And then I able to enjoy that time with her without being stuck in the constant fear off. What happens if she falls? A lot of times we get these unconscious fear visualizations that were afraid of this happening, and those often then become riel. I initially was visualizing all this success on you to me, where I taught before I visualized huge earnings. I visualize a massive students. I visualized huge impact on my courses. And then, as I created some drama, called out a bunch of things I didn't think were right. I started to visualize getting banned and guess what? I got banned. I often in my life before visualized about being a full time video gamer who could just play video games and have people watching earn money that way. I then got to experience that I ate one day, had 700 plus people watching me live, play game of call of duty zombies at eight or nine in the morning, complete fantasy for almost all of my gaming life. I visualized lots of times that I'd be this great gamer. And guess what? Life was giving me everything to do that. A lot of us we have inconsistency with visualizing exactly what we want, and we don't feel like we deserve to have a life we want and therefore all we get stuck with of these fear visualizations. I used to visualize a lot of bad things happening all the time, like car accidents and violence, and I tended to get into more of those situations for Riel. Rather, it was me in the car accident or as a police officer responding toe other car accidents. I'm grateful that even looking at this has helped me see the visualization I do in my life and have the courage to be more completely focused on that visualization. One exercise I went through recently, I very clearly looked at what I expected for my life. How long do I visualize living? I decided 100 and 50 years. That would be a good time in this body live. I then pictured what life would be like four Children and a whole lot of grandchildren. I also pictured, even for ah, family member who had been struggling to have a child in their family. I very clearly pictured that family member having their child after their struggle off years of working on having a child, everything failing, consistent pain and suffering, I visualized. Clearly this is what their family will look like today. That's exactly what's happened now a lot of us feel like we're arrogant, egotistical. I remember talking to my wife about this, and she's saying, Do you take credit for that family? I said, This is my universe. This is my world. I'm making it in real time. We all have that power of God in our lives to make our world ID obviously did nothing more than visualized, but I asked and it happened. My wife and I struggled for a while to have our own child, and I very clearly visualized having our own child. I started acting as if we had a child. I went and bought diapers from the store one day, and my wife was very upset with that because she was in the middle of being frustrated about not having a child. And I said, We shall have our child and it will be soon And guess what it was. Soon, when we clearly visualize in picture the things we want, we will get them. The trick is to picture things without thinking will be happier, because we haven't to just simply ask and say, I'd like toe have this in my life. I picture being sober for 50 years and then 100 years. I bought all of the medallions already that we get each year for being sober. I bought all of them because I intend toe have every single one of those. I make very clear visualizations about what I want because that stuff comes true. I have a very clear visualization of having a 1,000,000,000 followers online now. It might seem selfish. Are why do you need a 1,000,000,000 followers? It might seem egotistic. Oh, all these things often block us from asking for what we want. I picked your very clearly having a 1,000,000,000 followers online because of what I give to those followers. What I contribute will be worth following for, because it already is and that cycle will continue. Now. We each have the opportunity to take control off our visualisations because our fear visualizations will often take control. Otherwise, we will visualize things on Lee for them to spend the majority of time and fear about not getting them. When we trust and have faith that we will get everything we're given, then that's what happens. The second part to this is being prepared to receive what we've asked for. I've had more of a problem in my life of not being prepared to receive what I've asked for then and asking for it. I used to pray to God a whole lot with a Christmas list of what I wanted all the time, and I consistently have got it. I just wasn't prepared to receive it. I had a lot of sex problems I used to pray about, and I got the solutions I asked for every time. I just wasn't prepared toe actually receive them and guess what? I'd have more problems and pray, and I'd get the exact thing I asked for ID be singled, praying to God for ah girlfriend or not be so lonely. I get it and then. Well, not that one. How about a different one? And I get a different Well, how about another one? All right. Well, maybe I don't want any for a while. And then no girls would go out with me. All right. I'm you see, I continue to get what I asked for. Well, sometimes when I'm not prepared to receive it, I get stuck in the delusion that I don't get what I asked for. And then often I keep getting what I asked for over and over again. And then I get annoyed. I've very clearly visualized having a wife that was beautiful. Love me throughout my life and from God's point of view in most of my times, where I'm laying there, crying to press. Why can't I find a girl? I'm sure God would have said I've been sending you them constantly. Have you not noticed? Look at that nice girl that talked to you the other day. Well, she was stuck up. What about that girl? Well, I didn't like how she said that. Well, what about her? While she didn't talk to me the way I like you see it if we're not prepared to receive what we've asked for. It'll appear to go right by us when we realize that the things we ask for our in progress of being given to us. It also promotes patients are very clearly picture being the number one steam witness with 85.77% approval, which today the highest is something like 18% an unimaginably high approval rating when today mine is at about 3%. This is representing the total amount of all steam power that has made a vote. When I make that clear visual ization, then it's up to me to start receiving it, and often that means to say yes to the little things I'm given that go towards receiving it . What I often do is I picture things and I asked for things and then I keep doing things how I did before I ask for being the number one instructor on you to me. But then I start acting like I'm not. I start getting into fights and squabbles with people. I get low self esteem if we ask for one thing, but we don't act like it's already ours to receive. It's easy to get impatient. I very clearly picture the steam price being $1067 someday. It's currently about a dollar 50 and some days I then get impatient. Well, why is it down to a dollar 20 today? When we picture what we want, life will adjust to make it happen. But if we get too impatient, lots of times by the time it does happen, will have done something like sell out. We'll have done something like be unavailable. I've had a lot of times in my life where I pictured exactly getting what I wanted them. By the time I received it, I didn't want it anymore. I pictured being a police officer very clearly, even when it seemed like after smoking marijuana and see New York College that no one was going to hire me less than a year later to be a police officer. And the fact is, two different police departments hired me. I pictured being a police officer exactly at the university. I went through and I got that and guess what? It only took me a month to start being unhappy with it. The trick is to picture the things that I really want, because over and over in my life, I've proven the power of visualizing exactly. I want what becomes tricky. Then, once we realize we do have the power to get whatever we want. Teoh. It's such a gift that often we become hesitant to use it, especially when we've used it before. And things didn't work out very well when my business was nearly bankrupt. I very clearly pictured getting out of all of that. I very clearly picture now. My wife and I collectively have over $200,000 in student loan debt. I very clearly picture paying all of those off fairly soon. I had over $70,000 in credit card debt about two years ago, over $50,000 in personal loans about two years ago. All of those have been paid off, and at the time there seemed no way that was going to happen. But I pictured it and it happened. So today the question is, what do we want to bring into our lives? How patient are we willing to be in order to gently receive it, to do the hard work, to receive it and to be prepared when it's presented to us in perhaps a different form. Then we'd pictured it well. I wanted a wife with blonde hair. I see you've brought me a brunette. Clearly didn't get the message. Sometimes what we ask for is given to us in a little bit different way than we thought it look, we want a best selling book. But we don't realize that that book might be given to us in a video course, for example, and then turned into a book. Well, picture being a best selling author. But maybe we didn't picture it. In India. When we ask for things, we get them are pictured being the top instructor on you to me. And as far as I can see, I am the number one band instructor from you to me. We get what we want. The question is, how are we willing to put that into practice in our lives today? 26. More Doesn't Mean Better: what, if more does not equal better, especially with influence. This is a critical point to internalize, because as long as we think Maurie equals better, we're not only living ourselves, but we're limiting our influence. It's so easy to look at numbers and say, Well, he's got AH, 100,000 subscribers. He's got two million followers. She's got this many pins on her new post. One day we keep looking for numbers. We miss the depth of influence. If you look at me online, you might think while he's really influential with the millions of followers, I'm not any more influential than anyone else in the big picture. We're all equally influential, and the purpose of this is not to allow us to dominate and be morally influential than each other, but allow us to maximize the contribution we each make today. If you look at my wife online, she has very few followers. At the same time, she has a huge influence on me. She has a huge influence on the relationship she has in her life. In fact, just me being here today, I appoint to my wife. I don't think this body would still be on this earth at all. If I had not met my wife, she's at a huge influence on me. She was the exact motivation I needed to start my business because she had such a good job at the time in terms of the money she earned, not the work itself. But the money she earned was so good that I was able to fearlessly start my business. I looked at how much she made, and I knew she could pay all of our bills for us. When I saw that I had no fear failure, which is the main reason businesses not only failed to start but failed to actually stay in business. Just being in business after five years is greatly beating the odds. Only about 20% of businesses or so are still around. After five years, I was able to start my business because I had no fear than of failing. And even to this day, as I've been through struggles of my business and people asked, Well, when do you declare bankruptcy? Was the question I got several times or when do you quit? And I said, when I have to, as long as people keep giving me more money, which I did. I just borrowed more and more money. And then, through what seemed like a miracle than two years, I paid all the money I borrowed off from my business over $100,000 wiped out in two years with paying very little interest on it. Maybe a few $1000. The idea is when we have the courage to just give our gift without demanding that it be shown in terms of quantity, then were able to maximize our influence. We have the chance to influence the people around us. And when we see that each of us has an equal influence in the big picture, then we don't need to demand more followers. We don't need to demand more money. In fact, many people who don't have much money have a huge influence in the world. While many people that do have a lot of money have a relatively minor influence in the world now, I said he realized language makes everything a mess. What I said now directly conflicts with what I said before, and that's okay. All works together when we realize that we don't need a lot of followers to make a big difference when we don't need huge amounts of money to make a big difference that empowers us to look around in our lives and say, Where can I help? Where would my health be? Most appreciated if our influence is only worth the amount of Facebook likes we have, if it's on Lee worth the amount of dollars we earn on each post than it's worth nothing if our influence doesn't allow us to enjoy time with our family. If our influence is not a two way street where my two year old daughter influences me and I influenced her, then it's not worth anything. Influence is about being connected and belonging to the human race, because when we act from a place of belonging in connection to the human race, then we tend tohave massive influence when were among a member of a community. We have influence on that community. When we don't feel like we fit in or were a member of a community, it's often difficult toe have any influence at all on it. The trap of quantity is made from the mindset that our qualitative influence or the influence we make is equal on everyone, and that's not true. You can have one follower online and make a massive difference in their life. And I can have a 1,000,000,000 followers online and make a tiny difference in their life, and our influence can be exactly the same. All of the people who influence us are also influenced, meaning when you are watching or listening to or reading this here with me. Everything I'm saying is a function of everything and everyone else around me. Thomas is at a huge influence on how this courses went. My wife is at an influence on how this course is one, even though she doesn't appear in it anywhere. And even though I haven't talked with her a lot about it, many of the things I'm saying are based on conversations I've had with her. The fact that I'm even here at all is primarily due to her. Therefore, our influence has a lot of depth as well as the numbers of people re reach, one might argue influencing one person a lot each day can be much more powerful than influencing many people a little bit when we have a high level of influence on one person. We have a clear focus for our influence. For me, it's often difficult with millions of followers online, a pinpoint anywhere where I do have a significant influence. Because which person do I have a significant influence over versus which person is just following me because they enjoy hating on everything I create and my influencing people who hate what I create. A zwelling is what I love. When we break out of the trap that we have to have quantity, then we open ourselves up to truly maximizing our power to truly being able to give our gift. However, it's needed being a parent and staying at home and raising a child. We can have a huge impact on our child if we then stick our child in day care and greatly reduce our influence over our child. And then we go toe work and try and build followers at work and become a big deal online. I would argue in most cases were actually reducing our influence doing something like that . The people at work are going to tend to be influenced by us on Lee a very little bit while our Children we have a huge power to influence our Children. A lot of us are giving up our influence in terms of quality. I have friends. In fact, I'd say it's normal among my friends to stick Children in daycare and then to try and go to work and be important to have an influence. Meanwhile, the people a day care and the other kids are influencing our Children often much more than we are, which then frustrates us at home. One. We try and influence them, their only to discover they've adopted beliefs and values from other people. A lot of us freely give up our most influential opportunities today because we believe money and quantity or a number of followers, a number of new stories about us. We believe that money and perceived power or numbers of followers will do more for our influence. I'm very grateful today to have the chance to spend hours with my daughter every day and a be a big influence on her at the same time. It's humbling to see my wife has by far the single largest influence on our daughter because my wife spends the most time with our daughter to my wife, pays the most attention to our daughter. My wife has a gigantic influence on our daughter, and I'm grateful today that I get to have some influence on my daughter now. Yes, that this could be a painful point toe look at because many of us may look around and realize we have been almost completely giving away all of our influence that we've given up things we care about in exchange for things we don't care about. We've given up time with our Children, our time with our loved ones, toe work on projects that we are just hoping will make us a bit more money and return the influence to us that we already gave away. I find it's very important to look at opportunities to do better and to improve, and sometimes we just have to sit on the couch and cry about the things we've done before. We have the courage to say, You know what? I'm going to pull my kids out of day care and start raising them at home. I'm going a honor, my child's request to drop out of school and teach them music at home as Martin Guerre ICS . I believe his name is now is a world class musician because his parents supported him dropping out of school at 10 years old or so when he asked to. When we take back our influence, we take back our full power as well and another key to this often if we're giving our influence away, if we're thinking money and quantity were really important, we may get really offended when people call us out on that when we are going to work and earning six figures a year. But then we're not getting much time with our Children. Our marriage is on the rocks, and then someone calls this out on that and says, You're what you're getting with your six figure job at work is not worth what you're giving up your time with your family, your marriage. A lot of us will often react very hostile and say, How dare you tell me the truth? I don't want to hear that. I used to react the same way, and I used to give my influence away to everyone and everything else in exchange for trying to make more money in exchange for trying to have more followers. Today, I'm grateful that I have the courage to see that influences both Ah, function of depth and of breath. In other words, how many followers we have and how much we give to each of them. How much time we spend with our Children And what do we do in the time we spend? How much time we spend with our friends, family and everyone in our lives? The people around us influence us a lot, and therefore the people we are influenced by are contributing to our influence is well, I hope this has been helpful because this aspect of influence is one of the most challenging To get a hold of completely. And once we get ahold of this, then we are unlocking our full influence. 27. You Don't Need to Reinvent the Wheel: we don't have to reinvent the wheel in everything we do. This is really good news for where we're at today, because it makes the way forward simple. What do I mean by reinvent the wheel? I mean, we don't have to figure out how to do basic things, because others have already figured out how to do them and are often doing them in a way that we can see easily. For example, I buy audiobooks online. I see how the sample is done off the first minute or five minutes of the book. I see how the landing pages written. Where the author publisher describes the book. I see how people write reviews on the page. Therefore, when I publish audiobook, I understand all these things. As a reader, I understand the importance of choosing a good sample. I understand the need to immediately in the first sentence, right, something that's a bit of a hook that promotes curiosity. I understand that reviews have a significant power on. Rather, people will want to buy the book or not, because I see how all this works with me. The easiest thing to do when we want to expand our influence is simply become more aware of how we're already being influenced by others. We can look around and see all kinds of examples of successful products that have got into our homes in the terms of we didn't even need them. But the sales pitch was so good we ended up buying it anyway. Be aware if we do something like that, we often will get the same results. While we've got tons of companies and people that sell products successfully, the question is, Is that what we want to do with our influence? Also do we want to trick buyers into paying us money for something that sets in their home and they complain about or make fun of? Do we want toe take, are very limited time and energy and funnel it into doing something that has proven to work for others but may not work for us? This is a delicate balance without having to reinvent the wheel until we find what works for us to effectively deliver our own message. Sometimes there's no escape from trial and error in this process, but we can usually get a lot of short cuts by seeing what works for others to deliver the same type of influence we want to deliver for me. I'm grateful and also responsible. Well, when I put out a video, usually about 1000 people watch it within the first few days, and sometimes videos get washed by hundreds of thousands or millions of people. I now have a fairly simple formula. Aiken, due to consistently repeat the process day after day because I personally see what works for me to deliver. I see that often starting a video out with an amount of money, for example, $200 a day and then followed by just a word or a couple of words that has a good chance to have a big reach at the same time. That also tends to aggravate a lot of people who get all excited and then disagree with my message in it. I've found that tutorial videos tend to do really well in terms of consistently getting views every single day, which adds up to a lot over time. A lot of us want that big initial success. We want thousands of views. We want our influence to just immediately blow up. When we look at the fact we don't have to reinvent the wheel. We also see that the majority of influence comes steadily over time rather than all at once . How Maney viral videos have we seen that we quickly forgot that had hundreds of millions of views but didn't stick with us that we never watched a video from that creator again. How many authors have we been sold their books? And after the first chapter, we put it down and said, or even returned it and then go about telling everyone how horrible the book waas. If we do things that we don't want those results on ourselves, then we'll often get negative feedback when we do them on others. As soon as we figure out a formula that we really like being on the receiving end of, we often can simply just give that out. I know I love tutorial videos, and I love videos showing inside. How will money making systems are working honestly to show? Here's how much money and here's what you need to do. Therefore, I do videos like that because I like watching videos like that as well. I love reading audio books that are honest and passionate and full of useful skills that I can listen to on my dog walk. I love audio books, where the author includes lots of their own personal stories. I'm not big on audio books that are simply preachy or too narrowly defined where the audience is specifically CEO level board room members. I don't find those is relevant. This allows me to a fine tune, my creativity and ultimately to maximize my influence by giving what I want to get. When I consistently do tutorial videos, these build more and more followers who want more of the same. And then the more tutorial videos I do. Each new tutorial I put out has a chance to just go straight to the top of whatever subject I'm doing a tutorial on when we see we don't have to reinvent the wheel. We can then give a predictable experience for viewers, for readers, for the people we interact with that's comfortable. When we watch one of the tutorials I make, we know what to expect. I'll introduce the subject. I'll do a screen capture to Tora with my face, talking the way through the tutorial, trying to answer questions, throwing a little bit of humor, messing a few things up and generally wrapping up with some kind of I hope you have a wonderful day. I love you. You're awesome. Hope to see you again. Would you please leave a like when we have this predictable experience? We then are drawn to continuing to do that over and over again for measuring our influence . We don't have to try and measure it by the success of others, then because if we find a unique formula that works for us often starting from what works on us, then we can simply do what we love to do. Do what's proven toe work. And then we have time and energy to experiment in other areas with the tutorial formula I know works. I can afford to experiment in exactly what I teach. I can experiment in how I teach it because I know what is a successful delivery method and then that gives me time to expand into the details. I hope this has been useful for you because this point has taken a long time to sink in with me. I don't need to reinvent the wheel. I don't need to be trying completely new things all the time. I do need to see what is working, how I uniquely deliver my message successfully and just do more of it. 28. The Gift of Imperfection: a little imperfection may actually end hands Our experience. What if imperfection actually improves the quality and helps us magnifier influence? This is a really counterintuitive point because ah, lot of us are conditioned that we have to be perfect if we show any of our imperfections than other people might not like us. And then if other people don't like us, there must be something wrong with us. Therefore, I know I've tried to maximize my perfection in so many different areas of my life. Toe edit out things that weren't said perfectly in a video. Teoh, go in and micro, analyze every single detail and think, Well, someone like this house is going to make me look. The amazing discovery I've made is that often the imperfections, the screw ups, the words that air tripped over make us more human. And when we mess things up and often emphasizes the things we do right more, this was extremely counterintuitive with me for TV and advertising. I simply could not believe that people actually enjoyed watching TV programs that had commercials more than ones without. I hate commercials myself. I avoid them like the plague. I subscribed to Netflix and I have Amazon prime. I try and avoid watching commercials. The irony is that commercials often actually make the show itself seemed better by comparison. When we sit down and watch a show that has no commercials, then there's almost no bottom that takes out all of our essentially negative emotions to make a contrast. We're used to seeing a contrast in life. We're used to seeing things in our brain that sets up. This is good. This is bad. If we have things to intentionally pounce on and say This is bad, this is annoying. It will often help the other things be emphasized is good. For example, if we are going to a show where there's all beautiful models there, then the model start to not look as beautiful very quickly because all we see are these beautiful models with their perfect bodies. At the same time, if we go somewhere where there's all people that we might say are the opposite of models, we will quickly adapt to that as well and the best looking off those will start to seem a bit attractive. Our minds tend to produce contrast in everything, and when we embrace that we tend to have a more full experience and maximize the power of that when we watch TV programs with commercials, even though we hate the commercials, we then have more positive energy left to focus specifically on the TV show. When the commercial comes on, it draws out all of our frustration off stupid commercial, and it draws out all of our anger. I hate TV commercials. It draws out all of our contempt. Advertiser really is disgusting. And then when the show comes back on, we feel all thank God the show's back on. I'm thinking of this with 2.5 men, which I used to watch with my dad every night after dinner, one of the few times in my adult life I washed a lot of TV with commercials because my parents didn't have a DVR, and when those commercials would go off, we'd be so happy. Oh, here's Charlie Sheen again. What's he doing in the show now? It made it seem so much better toe watch the show itself because of the contrast. If we picture the scene again, where there's all beautiful models walking down the runway and amazing clothing and then picture maybe the opposite, whatever that looks like to you, if we bring the models and say the ordinary people and say that people who have huge, awful deformities and we think or just the ugliest if we put all of them together, then the models tend to really stand out. Wow, when we can see the full spectrum, we have the chance to have a full experience, and then we often see the beauty in even the things that we might not be programmed to. Judge is beautiful. We see how interesting it is, how curious we are to look at the person with weird deformities, and we want to know and ask them how that happened. Were you born with that? Did that happen? Is some accident While the models tend therefore to be less interesting, while anyone can just be beautiful and be healthier, there's nothing I need to know about that when we have a full experience. We often feel a lot greater connection when watching shows with no commercials, I've found that I'm often much more critical of what goes on in the show itself. Well, that was stupid. They shouldn't have killed this character off or that was a really poorly done seen or that didn't look really at all or I don't agree with the lines there that was really low quality . When we watch things that are all professionally edited that are all micro managed to look perfect, it often brings out our most judgmental nature. When we throw things out that might look stupid. I a consistently right post that aren't perfect. You can easily go in and criticize all over the place what I do on steam with my pulse, where I have my blawg. That actually helps what I do right. Stand out so much more when you see a post, that's just amazing. Wow, that's really good where there's not a bunch of typos in it or awkward screenshots of my face looking weird when we see that it has that contrast. Wow, that's really good. And it allows ah, lot more room to go up, and it allows a deeper connection because a lot of us connect with things not going so well . A lot of us are not allowed to express our full range of emotions. It's OK to show your happy face. It's OK to show your O face. It's OK to show your while I'm serious. Face. It's OK to show your I'm angry, but don't go cry. Don't go talk about how scared you are. A lot of us have been raised in this environment, especially in some places. I like this story I heard in a one day the kid said he was raised. If he was smiling on his face, his dad would tell him, You better wipe that shit eating grin off your face or I'll smack it off. And then if he then would be crying, his dad would come up to her and say, You better knock that crying offer. I'll give you something to cry about And a lot of us have been stuck into this straitjacket where were not allowed to express one part of our emotions like maybe the downside, or were not allowed to express any emotion when we see the full range. When we see the commercials along with the TV show, it's much easier to love what were designed toe love the TV show, then it is too actually just get the experience without the downside. I had this surprising reaction when I disabled ads on my YouTube channel after a few people complained that I put a video up about suicide awareness and I was making money on it. So I said, Fine, I'll turn old ads off on all my videos And there was outrage as I turned the ads off on all of my videos while one or two people complain I was making money on the suicide awareness video. Ah, load of people complained that I shut the ads off. A lot of the viewers said, We know these ads air, helping you make a little bit of money, and it's the only way we can give back to you. Don't turn off our ability to give back to you by watching some of these ads, and it likely beneath this was the reaction off. These ads are almost a price that's paid that makes the video of better quality by comparison. When we see a fake add in some studio set up where the advertiser is being totally dishonest, selling us a product we don't need, that's not going to do what they're telling us is going to do, and then my video comes on that's down Earth. Hey, what's up? Years when I'm doing That's a hell of a contrast, and a lot of the viewers were perhaps unconsciously communicating that we enjoy the contrast. We like to see the ups and downs. That's what makes a partnership so special. While most of us we get to see the beautiful made up version out in public, we get to see the guy with his cologne on and his hair jelled up in Is his clean shirt on. What a lot of us don't get to see about others is waking up first thing in the morning. The hairs all messed up. We stink. And that is what makes one of our most special experiences in life to get to experience the full range of a person's life, to get to see all their bad sides and good sides to see the monster come out when something bad happens and to see the beauty in Troy when something good happens when we warm up to the full experience, we also find it's much easier to just give our gift. If I sat here and tried to edit every single word I tripped over. If I tried to cut out all the things that didn't come out just perfectly. It takes me five or 10 times as much time as it does to just film this right now. That means in the same time, and take me to make this, that I would have to spend a five or 10 times as much time doing that or if you put it the other way. And this is how I explain to my viewers. Look, if you're willing to accept some imperfections, Aiken do five or 10 times as many videos, and then you'll have a much deeper choice of what type of video you wanna watch, what we can learn about together. I'm grateful today that I have had the courage because I've seen others with the courage to just put themselves out there all the way. This is a huge trick to maximize not only our influence but the ability to consistently show up each day and have things fun to just play around and enjoy life. 29. Be Like Water: be like water. The Bruce Lee quotes a whole lot longer than this, and that's the executive summary. Be like water means to flow through the cracks of life flow into the containers like a cupper, a teapot that hold what we need to dio. In this way, our influence is not limited to one specific niche. It's not limited to one specific opportunity or place or time. We simply flow into where we're needed to be, and when we have no more use their we flow out. For example, when I started my business, I was trying to help out with video game addiction. The water of my passion then flowed into Internet marketing, Facebook marketing, especially advertising online and from trying to get clients and help them directly. Then I float into doing tutorials on Facebook ads. From there, I flowed into teaching online courses and expanded the tutorials. As my business continued to adjust, I got banned from you to me. I flowed into doing video games for a few months. I then flowed into doing crypto currencies, starting with one currency and then selling that one and flowing now into steam, where I've got my blawg and all of my investments. When that we flow into wherever we're needed. We often are consistently in the middle of the biggest opportunities for us. Imagine if four years ago I had decided that Facebook ads, this is all I do. This is all I'm going to do, and I won't flow into anything else. I'm sticking here and staying here. I did some of that. I kept trying to make a lot of Facebook ads, tutorials and courses after the need was already satisfied after users already had gotten all the Facebook ads tutorials that were necessary from me, I frequently was competing with myself. I'd have three or four tutorials on the first page if you looked for Facebook ads. The challenge when we try and be more like a steady fortress or like a rock is that we tend to get stuck in places long after. There's no need to be there anymore. Water tends to go wherever it's needed, and this gives us great power to allow our influence to be flexible. This makes it hard for others to attack us. If you've noticed jumping into a swimming pool, the water simply moves around to adapt to that. Meanwhile, if we take a sledge hammer toe Iraq, we can smash the rock apart into little fragments. We want the strength of water to simply adapt to whatever is given to us. Because our influenced continues to grow Mawr and Mawr, others will try and latch onto us to increase their own influence. And when we are solid, like a rock, we make it very easy for others to just wrap their arms around us and suck the life out of us to, ah, mess with various parts of our business online. For example, when we just flow from one place to another, there's no clear object to attack. There's no clearly defined path that were supposed to take every single day, and this is what makes it exciting. The more we try and just narrow down in a one specific niche that more, we tend to make things boring. Most of us have needs for both certainty and uncertainty. When we have certainty about our purpose in life, when we have certainty about our desire to do good, to give our gift to the world and therefore to maximize our influence, then the uncertainty of exactly how we do that becomes fun. What we then see is a need like water to constantly be in the cracks, to constantly rain down from the sky in various places and in others to simply sit in a lake in a pawn in a puddle and absorb what is around us. We gained huge insights into exactly where we need to flow by listening to responses to each thing we do. When no, I put out a video. I looked for the comments on and especially right away. I put out blogged posts on steam. I read the comments. I see how people react. I look at the number of likes of videos, get less for self validation and more for direction as to where do I need to flow next? When I'm putting out videos that get thousands of views right away and lots of reaction, then that to me shows I'm in the right place. What happened with my Facebook ads? Tutorials. Over time, the initial response is very high. But as I continued to do more and more tutorials, the response generally was much lower. I had already given what was needed, and then my services were needed elsewhere. When we have the great freedom we dio, especially online, to move into anything to flow into YouTube or Facebook or steam or wherever our energies needed, it's especially important. Like water. We go toe where we're needed most. If water it all comes into one place at once, it can cause a flood. We've heard the stories of the past where floods have literally killed almost everything on Earth. If we flow into areas were not needed, we can actually bring a lot of devastation and destruction both to our own influence and to the work of others. Weaken. Bring all of our energy into places where we don't truly add anything where we simply cause trouble and frustrate ourselves and those around us. When we're willing to flow like a river, we can simply continue on our path and not get bogged down into a story off. Well, three years ago, when I started on this website and then they brand me last year and then that's the end. That's basically my whole life and I'll never do anything after that because any time you ask about my business well, so I started this business, and then I got banned. When we flow, we don't have to stick toe one particular story. There's always a new story that were in the middle of. We make that story together by listening to the reactions of the people around us. A. A meetings air really good for this, because often when I first raised my hand to share, there's a lot of Hi, how are you doing? Good to see you kind of excitement. And then after I've talked a certain amount of time, it tends to start to AB I know to stop talking when the reception is not as good anymore. And even in this video, even though there's just Thomas and me here with filming, I can feel how when Thomas is ready for me to kind of wind up on a subject as well, and I feel like it's about time, toe wind this one up and flow into a new subject 30. 90% of Success is Just Showing up: 90% of life is just showing up, we might think another cliche. Just we're gonna hang myself now. This is a really powerful cliche for maximizing our influence because it requires us to show up, over and over again before we start to build those deeper relationships where we have a deep influence. For example, parenting. My wife and daughter and I have great relationships because we keep showing up for them every single day. I'm grateful to have such wonderful relationships online with my followers because I show up there every day I put up a video. I make a post. I just keep showing up over and over again every post I makes. Not great. Some of them are awful. Every video I makes, not great. Lots of them are bad, but I show up. I make an effort every single day, and that tends to be powerful to build deeper relationships. And ultimately we need deeper relationships. Toe have maximum influence. We just watched a video by a speaker. Talking about obscurity is our biggest challenge. It doesn't matter how good we sell. It doesn't matter how good our product is. It doesn't matter how much money people have. It doesn't matter how the economy is doing. If no one knows us, if no one seen or heard of us before, it's very hard to go from there. Thomas just was going through this video. We were watching and he was saying that he wasn't that interested in watching the people he'd never seen or heard of before. Making that first impression is one of the most difficulty steps and then to make a deeper relationship. After that first impression takes showing up a lot, it takes showing up with a stupid looking shirt on. Sometimes it takes showing up with no shirt on. Sometimes we have a saying in a it's no matter what happens if you're asked, falls off, you pick it up and bring it to a meeting. The idea is you show up at the A A meetings regardless of rather having a good day. Ah, bad day. Ah, boring day. A rainy day, a sunny day. We keep showing up because belonging is a base nature requirement, force happiness for love, for joy, for a spiritually connection and ultimately for influence. If we try and influence from a place of separation and misery and frustration. Any influence we get will be extremely fleeting if we throw some tantrum about some politician, if we make a video, my friend made a video that had something like n word please in the title and he got this huge burst of viral excitement and quickly that seems to have faded away. He got some people coming know his website at first, which then crashed his website is he was not prepared for it. He had a great point in the video at the same time. If we don't keep showing up after our video goes viral, if we don't keep putting something new out all the time, if we don't keep making the effort, even when we're not sure what we're doing, even when things aren't going well, then we have our influence that we get that we hope for all these great things to happen like a video go viral. We have our influence suddenly blow up and then slip away right in front of our eyes. And that is one of the hardest things to go through. When I started out on you to me, I brought in all kinds of viewers from YouTube. And then I built over 100 and 70,000 students in my courses within 2.5 years or so of teaching on you. To me. Massive influence. Thousands of people Seeing every email. I send thousands of people buying new courses, tens of thousands and rolling in new courses every month, then banned watching the influence pop like a balloon. Fortunately, I was consistently showing up everyday on YouTube, and getting banned from you to me motivated me to show up more often on YouTube. I started doing gaming videos, and as I kept showing up every day doing gaming videos very quickly, people started watching in expecting gaming videos out of me every day. It's amazing how quick when we stopped showing up, then we lose our influence for ah ah, few months. There was a crazy level of excitement of gamers following me. Whenever I'd log on all kinds of friend requests, message requests, I'd make a room to play a round of call of duty, and the room would just instantly fill up. I couldn't even hardly start the game. That's an example. When we get our influence, how fast all the results can come from it when we stop showing up. When? In December 2016 after five months of making gaming videos almost every day, I stopped making any new gaming videos. There's hardly anyone nine months later, who's interested or asked about any gaming videos from me almost never see a comment anymore about gaming videos. Hardly anyone wants gaming videos out of many more. Showing up is the most important part. Thomas made a great example for this with running. What do we think? The most difficult part about going for a run is. Is it going through the last part of the run? When we're difficulty, we're tired. Is it cooling off and stretching afterwards? Is it the middle part of the run? Is it the beginning of the run when we stepped right out of our driveway and almost get hit by a car? The hardest part about going for a run is lacing up our shoes, making that decision that we shall go for a run that we shall show up out there again on the pavement or on the treadmill. The most difficult part about the gym is putting our workout shirt on the shirt that we know If we get in that shirt, we're going to the gym. The idea is we keep showing up every day. We keep maximizing our influence and we don't have to show up perfectly. But it is critical to show up. I try and get a video out on YouTube every day, even if it's not perfect. I try and put a block post out on steam every day, even if it's not perfect. I put one out last night and someone immediately just came in and criticized all over. This is crap. You're just taking the rewards and some people really liked it. Some people comment and said, Man, I haven't cared much about your posts up to this point. But while I read this one and now I'm really excited, We never know what day we're going to show up is going to be just the right day. We often don't know when our biggest opportunities are about to drop right in our lap. If we don't show up consistently, we often miss things. Have you ever been somewhere and you didn't go there that often? Then you heard someone famous had been there and you just wished Oh, man, why wasn't I there that night? These things come along for our influence. A lot. We show up in all of a sudden, we get a huge opportunity, and it's amazing when we look at showing up being 90% of success, how this relates directly to our influence. When we see that we just need to show up. Then we don't have to look at luck, and we don't have to judging, condemn and compare to other people. We see that just showing up, over and over again is enough. We see that if we want to be influence on YouTube, we need to make a you tube video every single day. Get one new video out every day. If we want to have a great blawg online, it helps to choose a platform like steam again. We don't want to reinvent the wheel and then get a post out every single day. Maybe do two or three a day, depending on the style, but show up the key. Just showing up is to not overextend ourselves, either. I go toe one Alcoholics Anonymous meeting a day because that consistently is enough. If I tried to go to two or three a day. I run the risk of not going to any a day. Sometimes trying too hard blocks us from showing up. Ah, lot of us like to just blast and came in like a backing ball. We like to just come rolling in. I'll do 345 videos that day on YouTube. There's several people on steam that comes so excited is join steam. They'll put out 78 10 posts a day for a week or two, and then they don't show up anymore at all. They work so hard to get this influence, toe buildup, followers and all the sudden, not even a post for a week. Two weeks a month goes by. Then there'll be a post. Oh, hey, this is what I'm doing. A few people be excited to see it, and then another month goes by. Here's another post. By then, almost everyone's forgotten about you. Most of us are very much. What have you done for me lately? Which means we need to show up lately with relationships. This is incredibly obvious, and most of us think that, especially men. We think that we should be able to do something once a week and nice for our partner, and that should be enough. I had a friend who told me about his wife. I went all out for her. I did everything she wanted on Saturday, and then on Sunday, she wakes up and tells me that she wants to fall in love with me every day. And I'm like about one about yesterday. And she says, Today's a new day. I want to fall in love with you again Today I use the same strategy with my wife. I want to make my wife fall in love with me every day. That's a lot more powerful than these grand gestures we see in movies where the guy runs down the airport with a thing of roses and gets on his knees and bags and swears and promises and then probably is doing the same thing right after that. That led up to the same problem before, but we don't get to see that part of the movie. Or maybe there's the transformation. I realized with my wife. I wanted to have an amazing relationship. I just needed to show her I loved her every day. I didn't need to plan some grand, extravagant. I love you. Gift. Once a month, I didn't need to go way over the top and make some secret plan. Teoh, bring all her friends over and wow her. I didn't need to spend a whole bunch of money on her and by her fancy things to make her feel important, spending a little time with her each morning, listening to what she has to say instead of thinking about what I'm going to do while she's talking, hanging out with her family. It makes a huge difference to my wife that I spend some time with her mother and father on a daily basis and then when I'm screwed up, then when I'm in a bad mood like yesterday, I just had a bunch of emotions my daughter's birthday, and I just was angry and grateful and upset and scared and excited and all these air going off the same time. And I just laid down and cried while my daughter played in the kitchen around me for like, an hour and all that credit all that showing up, then puts my wife in a position to trust that. Well, I'm sure he will get through that. And I don't need to blow up or Oh, my God. What's wrong with you? You need to go see a psychiatrist and get some drugs she like. Oh, okay. Well, I'm going out. You have a nice time with our daughter. I love you. And I'll see you in a couple hours. Showing up every day gives us everything we're hoping to get. It gives us love and trust intolerance from others. We trust people who show up every single day why we trust people who show up every single day because we see them on a good day. We see them on a bad day. We see them on a day that's in between. We see the humanity come through when people show up every day when we only see people on a good day. We're wondering what goes on with them when all the crazy comes out. What are they hiding from us? What are they not sharing with us? What do I need to be afraid off when we show up consistently and we're confident to make mistakes when I go to an AA meeting every day I trust that I can then share whatever I need to. I have that safe button to say when I'm having a horrible day, I know I can just go whine about it in a meeting, and that often eliminates the need 90% of the time for me to even do it or a lot of time, I go to do it. It doesn't sound as bad as it waas when I know it's safe for me to have a breakdown and just cry and lay around the house and be depressed for an hour or two, then lots of times I don't even need to do it. What I know that my wife's not just going to leave me when I have a bad day and that prevents the really crazy stuff from happening I've been in places before were that didn't go on and then stuff can get really wild. Showing up is 90% of excess because most of us are hesitant to show up consistently. Most of us show that we're really just trying to use things as a means to an end, and whenever the end is in question, we don't show up anymore. steam is a really exciting new crypto currency, Amazing Blawg platform, and it attracts a lot of us who just want to use it as a means to make money. Ah means to get ahead. And when the money doesn't come in when the price drops, it's amazing to see how many of us stop using it. And that's how you know who really is worth following. Who really wants to give is to see who keeps posting when the price drops and the rewards go down. Who keeps posting when the price goes up? A lot of us want these opportunities, and what we miss is that it often takes showing up a whole lot of times before we get them , it appears, is just luck that this author happened to do a forward for another author. I found Amanda. I forgot her last time. She does the art of asking and bring a Brown did the forward for her. There's no way I would have found her book if Burn a Brown hadn't done the forward with her , but she didn't get burn a brown to do the Ford with her. Just out of complete luck, she showed up for her fans and her friends over and over and over and over again, she answered. Tweet after tweet, question after question. She did show after show after show, and then she's in the perfect position. Aspirin, a brown, the right go forward for her book. You see a lot of the things we want just require a showing up, and if we show up enough times, life will give us the rest of the help we're looking for. I hope it sharing This gives the courage to keep showing up because if we don't want to show up somewhere, then maybe that's not where we ought to be showing up. I love showing up here and making videos. I love making post online, and that's why I keep doing it. If we find it hard to show up, it's often because we're mentally pushing ourselves to do something we don't really want to dio. I'm not much into going for runs. I do force myself to go for runs. Now I love going for walks an hour, walk right and listen to audio book That's easy. I effortlessly lace my shoes up and go for a walk every night. If showing ups difficult, we often need to pick another place to show up until we find a place we love showing up on a good day on a bad day On a boring day I'm grateful to be here with you today and to have shown up again here with you. 31. SFD: s f D or shitty First draft is a phrase I'm stealing or borrowing or appropriating directly from Burn a brown. I love burn a brown, especially on audible. Her power of vulnerability speech lecture series was incredibly helpful for me in my life. What is the Ch'ti first draft, or SFG? And how does it help us fantastically in minimizing the amount of damage we do to our own influence? These shitty first draft is whatever story we come up with as soon as something happens, that triggers a lot of our what we might think of as negative emotions. Yesterday I made a post on steam immediately. One of the top whales there with 10 times as much money is I've got on their drops. Ah, significant amount of his vote to essentially try and silence my post to hide it, to flag it to make it so no one can see it not because of the quality of the post just because he doesn't like me. I think his exact phrase was rewards pool rate, which was funny then because he was just giving himself $10 on every single comment and having an issue with me getting $100 on a post with thousands of words on the speaker meeting off my alcoholism. What happened when I saw that I immediately went into fear. I triggered up some anxiety, curiosity, anger, excitement, ready for war. I'm ready to go all out. All right. I'm gonna And what is my mind Come up with? Shitty first draft. What story does my mind immediately want to explain all these feelings? Our minds don't like uncertainty. Our minds want to know all the time. How many of us have seen people who always know everything. Who then We often aren't surprised when they know everything that they seem to have such a difficult life. When we have anything happen, especially that's challenging our minds want to quickly put that into a story. And what's the shitty first draft? That's the first story our minds make up to explain things in terms of where this phrase came from. If you're an author and you write whatever you write initially is often a city first draft , it's often not where you're trying to say. It often doesn't make sense. It often is not well organized, and then you essentially get through that s f D and get into something that starts making sense that communicates what was in our heads. This s f d In terms of our minds helps a ton because if we'll just own it And I've even started as burn A Brown suggested putting this down right this down as soon as it comes up and therefore stripped the power away in the steam. Example Last night the S f d. My mind puts out is Oh my God, you're done. You're steams over. You are all finished here. Your investment which you sold everything else and put it into this. Your investments, all of failure. Your business is going to go under now that's it. This is the beginning of the end. You will be silenced. You'll look like an idiot And people were rolled their eyes and stop following you. Why is this a problem? How often is this? The only story we end up telling how many of us have looked around and heard people are in our lives that are basically telling a shitty first draft of something that happened 30 years ago exactly as it is what we find great power in is putting these sf D's down and moving through them, creating our own story. When I wrote down my S f D last night, it looked dumb. But the fact is, when our mind comes up with these quick stories to try and make us feel better, that is our story. Until we consciously change it and what a lot of us do what I've done so many times. The brain just makes this shitty first draft automatically. Any bad thing happens off. Here we go. It's the beginning in and I'll be in the poor house off committed suicide. We just throw these awful stories out there and then we debate with them. My mind loves to bring up any time it sees an attractive girl. And then she doesn't respond to me exactly the right way. Some shitty first draft comes up. Well, you know why she ignored you? Because you're not very attractive. There's something wrong with you. We're going Well, Excuse may Is this the working version I want to be operating with today? But our minds have to explain every little thing that happens to us. Our minds are really trying to help us make sense of the world. They're not the enemy. Our minds are like a child that wants to understand everything. And when something happens, that's good. It's not often a big deal. Oh, well, I just got that extra money because I'm great. A lot of us can make it through with that, and it doesn't cause a lot of problems. What happens when we throw up an unproductive, shitty first draft and then we fight with it? We end up sabotaging our influence. Last night, in response to that s f. D. My mind produced up until I wrote it down. I wanted to fight. I wanted to make another post right afterwards and saying, Look, this jerks doing this to me, I need your help. Let's fight. Let's take him down. Let's destroy him. Because in my shitty first draft, he was going to do this on every single post I made. After that, when I wrote these things down, it started to seem a bit stupid. Like I didn't have enough data to be drawing all these conclusions. This it just happened on one post. It might have been an isolated incident. I therefore didn't want to make a big deal out of it right away because I risk essentially giving him my influence by putting up some post. Oh my God, I'm in trouble. We've gone to war by doing something like that. We often give away our influence to someone else. Often it's the exact people who we have the biggest problem with, and then we just give them our influence. I read a post the other day on steam about a guy who's been on steam much longer than me. He wrote a whole post about how awful I am and what he doesn't realize. He just gave me his influence. Even if people read it and agree with him, he's made me a big deal in his mind and all of his followers. Mind. I am now a big deal. I'm so influential that he must crusade against me. When we buy into the shitty first drafts that are mined produces, we often will do huge sabotages to our influence that we may have to work a months to just get back to where we were. The uncomfortable truth and most of our lives is that 99% of the problems we've experienced are also problems we've made. We reacted to that shitty first draft. How many times have we received a text message from someone were dating? We see a textbook. Oh, my God, They're cheating on me. It's over. We're going to get divorced or, ah, little comment made by a person. How many times have four parents? We heard our kids do something or seen our kids do or say something, and oh, that's it. They're just going to grow up to be, ah, hooker or a drug dealer or murderer and that's it. We're done. When we come up with these things, it helps to just put them down to write them down. And I've been learning that recently to just journal about it, because while we think just having it in our heads keeps it from getting any power, the truth is when we have the courage to write it down or speak it to another person and look at it, it loses all its power. Now, I don't recommend a writing every s f d down and putting that out on a blawg. This is often something that's better done privately, a private journal, a word document on a computer or just a hand, write it and often with a lot of my ass, FT's I simply tear them up or throw them out. This is extremely helpful for us to move beyond, and then to consciously choose what our second draft third draft and our final, polished version of the story is. My first version of the story of getting banned from you to me was, Oh my God, my business is done. That's it. It's all over. And as I've continued to put more and more drafts on it today, my version of getting banned for you, to me is thank God they banned. May I'm grateful. They gave me the opportunity to do things like enjoy a fantasy of playing video games full time online to get in on something like steam. Because I wasn't distracted, I could afford to put all my energy into it, whereas if I was on you, too, May never would have got into something like that. Today, the story is thank God for what at the time looked awful, and that's the power of owning that s F D and then consciously improving it. What happens if we don't own it and we don't speak. It is often it becomes our final draft until we revise it consciously. When I got banned from you to me in June 2016 are made up this shitty first draft about 2017 and about my money. The draft went something like this. I reached my high point at you. To me, there's no way I'll be able to make 80 or 90,000 month again. My business will simply go downhill from here. It will be a very tough year, financially, that I'll be lucky to get through. That was my S f d. For my finances right after I got banned. That was my working and final document for six months until I was reading Money Master The Game by Tony Robbins and I had the courage to look and ask What am I expecting to happen in 2017 with my business and I realized I had made a shitty first draft and never edited or looked at it again. I had never written or spoken it down, either. I simply was operating with that, and as soon as I consciously got it out and looked at it. I told my mom, I told my friend Albert I started telling everyone, Wow, I think my business is going to go downhill. That's insane because I don't have one day of data to support that. I have this belief that 2017 will be a difficult year financially, and I don't know how much income I've made on any one day in 2017. At the point I was doing this in 2016 I decided consciously to choose a new belief that 2017 would be even better in 2000 and 16. Once I chose that, that overrode the last story and the universe literally adapted to give me that exact result. I made the investment of a lifetime. Right after that, I paid 11,000 for something today that's worth 300 their 350,000. Last time I checked, I sold it for 87,000 and then bought in Esteem, which is currently making me about 100 up to 500 or one post got 3000 on every single blawg post. I've released courses that made more money faster than any course I've ever made. I've tried Experiment it, all these new things. I'm putting audiobooks together. I've got nine audiobooks on Audible, which at one point seemed impossible. I've experienced miracle after Miracle in terms of my business and my finances. Opportunity after opportunity has continued to be thrown at me as soon as I changed. That should be first draft as soon as I became conscious of that and edited it. What I try and do today is be aware of that first draft every time is soon as it comes up. And is this the working story I want? Is this the story I want my life to be based on? Is this the story? I want to be riel, and if it's not well, let's write it down and we're going to consciously edit it and go forward with a new story . When I do that, I have the best chance to not self sabotage. If we avoid self sabotage, our influence, just by showing up, will consistently grow and grow and grow. Most of us we get those shitty first drafts and we run with, um we caused chaos. We ruin our own influence and then we blame it on everyone else. Well, this person shouldn't have done that. This person shouldn't have done this. But the truth is, if we have the courage to look at those shitty first drafts, edit them and then make a second draft 1/3 draft in a final dressed that we're happy with, then our influence will actually grow every time something challenging happens. I'm so excited to have this story to share with you instead of so many of the S FT's I've created before this. 32. Our Life's Purpose: what do we dio to truly maximize our influence with unlimited potential? What I've found is being a consciously aware of my life. Purpose is critical to wrap everything together. What do I mean by consciously being aware of my life's purpose? That sounds like some kind of crazy guru or religious stuff, but it's very fundamental. Why am I here right now? What is the point of this whole life? We might think it's not important to ask some of these big questions like, What's the meaning of life or why do I exist? These things are huge to claim our full power. I am here. The purpose of my life is to learn how to love. The purpose of my life is too. Give the most love and joy and service as I can and therefore, to experience the love enjoy of being. I came here to help. I chose to come here. I'm choosing to be here right now to help getting into this very core foundation underneath everything else, allows us to build a house or castle and allows us to build a whole world On top, that is strong is solid, and yet, like water can simply flow and reconstruct as needed in the face of change. If we try and maximize our influence without awareness of the purpose of our lives will often easily be diverted. We'll easily get into things that don't align with our purpose. My purpose in life is not to try and be here and tear everything down and to hurt other people. I wouldn't be here if that is all I was seeking to accomplish. This wouldn't be worth doing if all I wanted to do was try and tear things down at various points in my life. I have thought that was my purpose, to try and tear things down to try and destroy what others created. And I consistently experience suffering. Being aware of our life's purpose consciously allows us to not easily get diverted because diversions often cost us a lot In terms of influence. Diversions will often take us into directions where we effectively lost in the woods, where we're doing things that are offer path. We're not really moving forward, and sometimes these can allow us to come back like the prodigal son in a more enlightened state than we were originally in the prodigal son has a wealthy family, goes out and paints the seeds off whatever you want to call it in terms of throwing his wealth around living a life, that sketch, you might think off being in the middle off base desires. And it comes back home broken and seeking just to be, ah whole be a part of the world and family again. And in that journey, the prodigal son, then after the journey, has a more deep view of life in the reason for living than before. So sometimes even when we lose our way can help us awaken to our purpose. Well, we don't need to go to the point of having a near death experience of pushing things to the very limit. Before we remember our life's purpose, we can simply if we take a step off the path, we can simply go back on it right away, and we can still learn valuable lessons. Even with a brief step into the woods, we can have a very good understanding of what it looks like in the woods and why we choose to stay on the path in the Alcoholics Anonymous. This often comes in the form of taking a drink. The only requirement for membership in a is a desire to stop drinking. And many people come in and continue drinking or stay sober for a while and then go out and drink. And very often when they come back, there's valuable experience to here. Oh, okay. So you did this this and this before you drank, and then you drank and then life was miserable. And now you're coming back here trying to get sober again. What can I learn from that? Oh, I can learn. Don't do that. That in that right beforehand, do something else instead. And then I don't have to go through all the misery and suffering that was experienced. When we're consciously aware of our life's purpose, it allows us to do our very most valuable work. Most of us have nearly infinite opportunities today. Even if we're not consciously aware of them, we might be quick to say, Well, what about the guy in prison? Or what about the starving person in one country or another? Most of us have way more opportunities than we can even comprehend, because our minds try and simplify everything on our minds. try and give us a version of life that explains where we're at and why we can't do anything else while I'm stuck in prison. So I'll never be anything or do anything useful. What if one were in prison? We have a chance to make a huge difference to maximize our influence. What if we have a chance to experience enlightenment, to remember our life's purpose, that we got diverted from often their story after story of people who have had a spiritual experience in prison and then had some kind of what looked like an external miracle where they were then released and have the chance to go out and share that on a wider scale? What if it's good enough to just maximize our influence in prison to help people who've struggled and suffered to experience a little bit of the joy that's left in life? When we awaken toe our life's purpose, we also unlock our maximum potential. And if we see that remembering our life's purpose throughout every day, all day is the one thing we really need to do to stay on track, then our influence tends to just grow and grow and grow from there because we respond to the same message when we see someone else who is aware of their life's purpose. It reminds us of our own. It reminds us. Oh, that's why I came here instead of getting involved in something and fighting and going on and suffering. We have the choice today to have a life free of suffering. We don't have to be stuck in a prison we've created. We don't have to live in the house, were living and we're choosing toe live there. We don't have toe starve to death where if that's what's happening, there is some choice in that. There's always a choice to move to a different location toe, ask for help. There's always a choice, and wherever we're at today, and even if the choice comes down to well, we're stuck in prison. We may not be able to choose to escape, but we don't have to choose to be miserable there. We can choose to experience the fullness of life where it's that we can choose to fulfill our destiny from where we're at right now, when we're awake to our life's purpose. We realized that it's happening now we don't need to wait until we're a CEO of a company, a best selling author to get started on our life's work. All of our life's work is done right now. Our purpose exists right now. It doesn't exist in time. Whatever we did in the past either doesn't necessarily matter for our life's purpose just because we raise Children 20 years ago and now they've left. That doesn't mean our life has no purpose. Now. Every place where at in life has a purpose. Every one of us has a divine gift to give. And the harder it is to see, I suspect, the more powerful the opportunity is to give the gift the person who wakes up to the life's purpose in prison, often as a huge opportunity for influence to help all the other prisoners wake up. I've worked in prison before. I know what it looks like inside, I've spent hundreds if not thousands of hours inside the walls of a prison with the murderers in the rapists, and they're people, too. There are members of our human race, often with gifts that are hard to even comprehend to most of us suffering and struggle that can turn into gigantic influence. Think Nelson Mandela stuck in prison and then able to lead South Africa out of apartheid into, ah, place of acceptance. We see huge opportunities when we're consciously aware of our life's purpose. And if we realize I'm not consciously aware of my wife's purpose, then all we have to do is keep asking, What is the purpose of my life? Why am I here? How may I help? What do we need me to do today? What's the most I could do to give back today? How could I really help someone today? Why did I come here? Why am I choosing to be here when we keep asking, this questions will be filled with answers that have unbelievable power will be given the ability to even be free of our worst fears. I'm grateful and asking and finding my life's purpose. I've been given freedom from fear of death. If some tornado comes and wipes everything out a gigantic flood. The thought of that makes me laugh right now. It'd be funny to watch this body get floated around and stuffed in the water and, you know, consumed by flood. That makes me laugh. The idea of it has hilarious the way it might sound to, ah, watch a cartoon and see the characters go through journeys there. When we wake into our life's purpose, we awaken to our immortality are unbelievable power. The god that we are and that everyone else is with us. We become free to have an unbelievable amount of influence in the world. Thank you for enjoying this with me. 33. 31 Secrets of Influence Class Project: thank you very much for being one of the Onley students ever to get all the way to the end off this class on skill share. Will you please help us see what you've learned? Because that you'll feel great showing proof that you've done something As a result of this class, you will be able to help other students that learn from what you've learned and to find and discover yume the class project on skill share on this the perfect place to share an example where you're practicing one of the secrets from this course we would love to see a blawg post, a podcast episode or video where you hit creative project, post a link up, post a picture up and say, Look, in this new video, I practiced the ask as an equal or I practice we rather than I. We'd love to see this in action because to me this is as powerful maybe even more powerful for learning than the course. What I know is when I contribute doing things like this, it makes me feel good and it when I show proof that I've done something, I'm the one who gets the reward When I do something out of inspiration, I reap the main part of the reward. Thank you very much for finishing the class. If you've enjoyed any part of it, we please give us a quick thumbs up because that will help other students join us here and get the same value you did. Thank you. I love your awesome. And I hope you have a wonderful day today. Maybe we'll see each other in another class soon.